Acedia (also accidie or accedie, from Latin ______, and this from Greek ______, negligence)
describes a state of listlessness or torpor, of not caring or not being concerned with one's
position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's
duties in life. Its spiritual overtones make it related to but distinct from depression. 
Acedia was originally noted as a problem among monks and other ascetics who maintained a
solitary life.

  --  Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acedia

Read this Wikipedia entry carefully. This is it, this is the monk's disease that you've got.
This Wikipedia article neglects a well-done research book, "Boredom and the Religious
Imagination," by Michael L. Raposa, which you might want to get on library loan.  Raposa notes
that Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologica, deals with acedia and its consequences.

There is no known antidote to acedia. It is not a neurosis. It is not clinical depression.
Religiously, it can lead to evil in that it leads to a sluggishness that is indifferent to
what is right and wrong.

WAYS OF BEATING DOWN AND CIRCUMVENTING ACEDIA

1. Study comedy. Sentient beings by definition can make each other laugh. This is independent
of who we were created by or why we are here. According to The Raven's Bread ("Food for Those
in Solitude" -- a newsletter that I subscribe to), comedy is necessary for those living alone.
Comedy also defeats the torpor of acedia.

2. Get involved with other people in a social activity that doesn't require you to pretend to
be stupid. This is tough to do! Such activities are rare! In your own case, I recommend
contract bridge, the game often played by the intelligence experts who won World War II for us.
I myself was taught this game at age eight by my father -- the best thing he ever gave me.
There are other games, and some are fun, but your acedia is severe. You need a boost. There is
NOTHING IN LIFE, not even sex, that equates to a) stopping an opponent from a small slam;
b) making a small slam yourself; c) stopping an opponent from a grand slam; or d) bidding and
making a grand slam yourself. BTW, these victories will certainly occur in this names order --
a then b then c then d.

3. Please, please, plot your escape from Hawaii back to the contiguous 48 states, such event
to occur as soon as possible after your unfortunate loss of your beloved mother. For God's sake
don't hang around Oahu and pout afterwards. Check out how to live the way you should live, as a
"homeless" person with a six figure net worth -- in other words -- "full time Rving" by a) checking
out "Escapees" which allows forwarding of mail, voting residence in Texas without any state income
tax, and other bennies; b) get a list of all the "boondocking" free (generally waterless) campsites
in the USA;  c) sell the Frontier in Hawaii after you lose your mother and buy a low-mileage used
RV (off a dead person's estate) in the USA. Consider something like a small motorhome with NO
RIDGE LINES OR SEAMS IN THE ROOF or a small trailer that can be pulled by a four-cylinder pickup
(such as the Casita or Scamp trailers). You don't need a big nor a new RV. And -- d) you want to
spend your winters in Texas, Florida, or the desert southwest and your summers snuggled up to the
Canadian border. Consider WiFi or library use to stay in touch with the net. I think "Magic Jack"
comes with an electronic answering service -- that and an address from Escapees is all you need to
be part of society.

You are also going to need good doctors and dentists (there are lists for that and I can help),
and you are also going to have to find an appropriate calestenics routine that allows you to stay
in shape without health spa membership (the Canadian Air Force came up with a good program for this
about 45 years ago). The trick of taking a shower with a bucket and a sponge should be learned, but
this is reasonably easy skill to develop. 

4.  As you may remember, I had the most boring and stifling profession imaginable -- a practicing
auditor and certified public accountant. I've known many others in my own profession. All of us who
stayed sane ... every one ... was a lifelong devotee of music, especially instrumental music. "I can
burn you some CDs." My personal experience is that this is really important in beating down acedia.

5.  Do not give up or apologize for or back off on your sexual capacity or sexual fantasies. This is
an important part of life whether you are celebate or a satyr. Any attempt to control you in this
area is certainly a power trip by the person trying to "help" you.

So that's my advice. I'm sure you have acedia and I'm sure it isn't going to kill you. I strongly
recommend you prepare to become a 48-state full-time RV retiree. Continue to connive to get rid of
the dreadful condhotel. Beat yourself up with a CD on contract bridge until you are confident in your
skill as an intermediate player. Then play several times a week with real human beings -- cuz -- you
need it and cuz NO COMPUTER can play bridge at an advanced level -- chess, yes, but bridge is too
convuluted. Keep reading, especially comedy. Watch comedy DVD movies. Then put in the blog your OWN
THEORY of comedy (I'm waiting for that). When you've heard enough instrumental music, blog your own
theory of melody and the universal appeal of music. (I'm waiting for that, too).

You don't have to put up with acedia. It's a monk's disease, but it doesn't have to control you.

--Edward Binns
Founder of the Urban Coyotes
Combat veteran (USN - Vietnam)
Very experienced mind warrior


PS:  Continue to keep your maximum distance from your brother. He has nothing that you need. He's not
on your side. How do I know? "I outlived my own cruel brothers."