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The Year of Living Dangerously
Voyage of the Damned
Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.
Monday February 17, 2003
As to be expected, the skies were completely overcast last night. There will be no clear skies tonight either. So, I will spend the evening with my beloved iBook. I ended up at Barnes & Noble this morning. I only spent an hour there, but I was able to peruse a couple of astronomy books. I am very fascinated by this hobby, yet I have rarely had a chance to use my beloved Orion telescope. As I mentioned yesterday, I am constantly perusing the Orion catalog. I have been looking at the various eyepieces to replace the sorry set of Plössels which came with my telescope. The telescope isn't much better, so I should shelve the idea. Sheesh! I walked to the gym and completed a decent workout. That's my exciting weekend. I did absolutely nothing out of the ordinary even though I had an additional day off today.
Moms has been complaining about a leak in the roof. Actually, the water is seeping through the ventilation hood above the gas range. The fly-by-night outfit has gone out of business. The clown who was running the business had kicked the bucket about two months ago. The "official" story is that he suffered a heart attack. I don't buy it. The guy was only 33 years old. I believe that he committed suicide. There's almost nothing that can be done now. My guess is that the clown fleeced everyone. He probably thought that he was home free, but something came back to haunt him. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, eh? I actually laughed my ass off when I heard the news. I mention all of this now because of my discussion about good and evil yesterday. I should find no pleasure in the loss of scum like that. It should not be my place to judge the fool or to avenge any wrongs. Within my own soul, I can locate the residuals of evil. How do I purge the latter?
Each and every day is a test. There are numerous temptations and tribulations, each of which wears down any personal resolve. I have grown weary of thinking evil thoughts, uttering evil words, and doing evil deeds. Humanity is reaching the end of the line. All of the prophesies concerning the Apocalypse are being fulfilled as we speak. We are all likened to a pack of rabid animals. No vaccine can cure us. We must be destroyed.
Tuesday February 18
At the Asylum, four of my students including Darryln, Rina, and Maychelle came by my class this morning. Apparently Mrs. Quixtar lost it during class and gave everyone a piece of her mind. "None of you will amount to anything," she allegedly told them. I assisted them as best as I could. They were not too excited about the fact that they would have to report the matter to Bug. After all, Bug has done nothing to help any of them before. What complicates matters is that Darryln submitted a statement on my behalf to the Roach Inquisition. As I've said before, the Asylum is a complete mess.
Alana, the Miss Teen contestant, stopped by to visit just before my class at the Diploma Mill. She said that she may try for the Miss Hawai'i title within a couple of years. I am sure that she has a good chance to win. Later, I ended up at the gym. I wanted to double up on my workout since I will be interrogated again by the Roach Inquisition tomorrow. My favorite Asian babe came in at 2:30pm. I saw baby on the military press machine while I was on another machine. Then, she walked over to the biceps machine which was directly in front of me. Fortunately, I had only one set left. After I completed the set, I moved over to the lat machine in another section of the meathead room. I could see baby on the biceps machine. A few minutes later, I saw baby walking down the main aisle. She walked into the section where I was. Oh man, I said to myself, she's not coming right here, is she? The lat machine has several stations combined. So, my favorite Asian babe ended up right next to me, doing some triceps work. She was less than two feet away. I really wanted to ask her, "Are you trying to make me go berserk?" My favorite Asian babe is a real hottie. I have never been that close to her before, so now I can confirm that she is a true babe. She also has nice triceps. As I mentioned a few months ago, she looks very much like the babe in this picture. If I wasn't a monk, I would be all over her like a cheap suit. Well, actually, that's not true. I am a loser, so there's no way that I would have a chance with a babe like that. And, I don't need a clown like Chimpo to bring me back to reality. Sheesh!
I was a nervous wreck when I arrived at home. I saw too many Asian babes today. This morning, I saw the hottie who lives near the bus stop. Then, I saw the hottie who sits in the back of the express bus in the morning. She was wearing an extremely sexy dress. This afternoon, the gorgeous Diploma Mill student was on the express bus. Alana is also a gorgeous Asian babe. Yet, how many can truly hold a candle to my favorite Asian babe? My hands were starting to shake while I was inches away from her. I have to purge this lust from my loins, or it will be my undoing.
The sky was clear last night. There was a full moon as well. I did not take my beloved Orion telescope outside. The moon was too bright. I noticed that the objective lens seems to have a layer of crud on it. I can't clean it because the crud is on the inside surface. This could explain why my views have not been clear. Why didn't I just buy a quality telescope? Why can't I have my favorite Asian babe?
Wednesday February 19
More crap at the Asylum. The four students (who spoke with me yesterday) have changed their mind about lodging a complaint against Mrs. Quixtar. Then, Keir, the student who inadvertently initiated the Roach Inquisition, said that he was interviewed by the security guard firm. Odd, they only asked questions about me and the way I run my classes. There were no questions about Kevin, The truth, as I have suspected all along, is now coming out. The investigation is a farce. Its true purpose is to find testimony to discredit me. I expect to be terminated before Summer. Kevin is continuing to offer more and more information. As I told him before, this is not a court of law. It's a kangaroo court, where the rules are written by whomever is paying the bill. We'll see how far this goes. Oddly, my scheduled interrogation was canceled.
The whole situation has been a waste of my time. In addition, it has created a lot of unnecessary stress. And, to what end? Each and every person except the ol' lavahead can be bought outright with little more than chump change. I will not be surprised to shortly find myself standing alone. Integrity and honesty can easily be bought out. No one wants to hear the truth. Yet, this matter is at the crux of the debate concerning good and evil. I can no longer tolerate evil around me, no less within myself.
I talked to many people today including Professors Marv and Gordo, Pseudo-professor Mari, and Florida (a former Asylum student). I enjoyed talking to Florida because she is a nice person. She always gives me credit for her acquired computer skills. I also chatted with Pseudo-professor Robert. He made a snide comment about the fact that I have no friends. Yet, I have to wonder — with all of his numerous friends, he is still sitting in the faculty computer room by himself. He has aged considerably, most likely due to the amount of medication he must ingest to quell his "bipolar" disorder. From a few other comments he made, I suspect that he has been frequenting strip clubs and may have also solicited the services of prostitutes. As I have mentioned often, the lack of da wild thing causes guys to go crazy. Pseudo-professor Robert and I lead similar lives. In fact, I find that often ponder the same things, but our values and outlook have become increasingly dichotomous. I will leave it Pseudo-professor Robert to look into the mirror for himself. I have to deal with my own issues and come to grips with my own reality.
Thursday February 20
The writing is definitely on the wall. Kevin said that he got a substantial pay raise today. He was also approached to do the new student orientation. Steve, one of my students, mentioned to me yesterday that he didn't think that I would be asked to do the orientation. He was right. I'm glad because I don't want to do it anymore. Kevin, like everyone else, is being "bought," which further substantiates my belief that I am the real target and always have been. I am no longer sure that I can trust Kevin. I have also discovered that Keir has lied to me about a few things, so I believe he has been part of the "set-up" all along. Gradually, everyone is turning against me. They already know that it is too dangerous to even be seen with me. It's too bad that none of these fools realize that there is a life outside of the Asylum. I also talked with Vivian about my ability to collect unemployment. Her eagerness to discuss this subject indicates that she knows I am to be fired soon. My guess is that I will be given the same treatment that Mike was privy to — an abrupt drop in class load. "A reduction in staffing because of low enrollment is a valid claim for unemployment," she told me. Thus, I now know the most likely scenario. As soon as another faculty member is hired, my class load will be reduced. Kevin's load will increase in order to reward him for his loyalty. What these idiots don't realize is that I don't care as long as I get unemployment compensation for a few months. "After I'm gone, you'll have to watch your back constantly," I told Kevin. I would not be surprised to see him still working there three years from now. It's going to take a lot more than his communion with Buddha to live with that fact, especially if he sold out just to keep his job.
I hope that my last days at the Asylum plays out as I have just predicted. I am counting the days now. And, I won't have to attend that stupid annual "retreat" anymore. I have already decided to minimize my participation in Asylum activities from this point forward, even though it will be used against me. Leaving that cesspool will be a blessing. My life seems grim right now, but I've been here before. Yet, what really matters? Money means nothing to me. I am only concerned that I won't accomplish my goal. I can easily live the pauper's existence again. Life is really meaningless. I am surrounded by idiots whose only concern is "Joe Millionaire." The economy is in the dumper and that moron Shrub is hell-bent on wreaking havoc in the Holy Land. If I wasn't a monk, I would have allied myself with the socialist party. I have known since my teens the ridiculous notion of capitalism and its limited life span. We are in the twilight of the Industrial Age. These are the dim prospects we face each day. Frankly, I am sick of it. I am not going to spend the rest of limited life in misery because of a bunch of ignorant [rectums].
The babe situation is also becoming moot. I lapse into stupidity every now and then. However, I know that I will remain a monk. No modern babe is going to tolerate the extremely frugal and minimalist life-style that I have adapted. Spending time pondering the existence of the universe is not on the top of any babe's list. Absolutely no babe will want to commute exclusively via mass transit. And, what babe could live without the tube? I could easily feel sorry for myself, but there is no reason to. I am no longer a slave to my possessions. I can unshackle myself from wage slavery with little afterthought. I have no one to answer to, except the Almighty. This is the reason why I am so different and, at times, seemingly defiant. As Viktor Frankl eloquently stated, "The crowning experience of all, for the homecoming man, is the wonderful feeling that, after all he has suffered, there is nothing he need fear anymore — except his God."
Friday February 21
Kevin was given a check for the additional dough owed to him since his pay raise was made retroactive from September of last year. He insists that he will remain firm in the cause. I cautioned that he is risking his position by continuing. "I have to do what is right," he said. "I cannot let them get away with this." I reminded Kevin that we are not dealing with a court of law. The security guard firm was hired by the Asylum's legal counsel, which makes the whole arrangement suspect. Darryln and the other babes have decided to go forward with their complaint. They have followed my suggestion and have put everything on paper. I have a signed copy as well.
As a side note, I usually do not give out any awards at the Asylum. So, I asked Darryln if she wanted an award. She said yes, so did Rina, Maychelle, and Symphonie. So, I had them put their names on the list. Then, I came up with a great idea. I will also give awards to Tiara, Michelle, and Evan. They are the students who have issued statements in support of Kevin and myself. I am going to tell each of them to round up as many people as possible for the awards presentation in April. At that time, I will present the awards and make an eloquent speech concerning their courage to stand up to adversity as well as their academic achievements. They will all be with me when I raise my fist in the air as a symbol of defiance while the audience applauds. I want everyone to see the expressions on the faces of Bug and Roach.
Later, I went to the gym. As I walked down the stairway, I was still in a trance. Then, I saw my favorite Asian babe doing a triceps set on one of the machines. Just as I started walking down the main aisle, I saw her quickly grab her towel and start walking toward the main aisle, perpendicular to my direction of travel. By coincidence, our paths intersected at exactly the same time. She paused to let me pass. I said, "Excuse me," and walked on. I could not help but notice what a hottie she is. Since I came in late, I had to do a quick workout. Baby was almost done since she was on one of the Lifecycles. After I was done with my sets, I walked past her and made my way to the StairMaster machines. I could not even look in her direction. Otherwise, I would have lost all motor control and ended up flopping around on the floor like some kind of chimp. While I was doing my cardio workout, I saw baby walk into the dark aerobics room. Once again, she stationed herself in front of the mirrors at the other end of the room and in my direct line of sight.
As anyone can see, the prophesy continues to unfold as these events clearly indicate. The weekend is upon us. I will use this time to rejuvenate myself. I have unwrapped my Bose Acoustic Wave for a night of psychotic classical pieces on public radio. My iBook will also keep me company. The skies are still not clear, so I will peruse my Orion telescope and imagine what it would be like to be viewing the stars. Naturally, my mind will wander to thoughts about my favorite Asian babe. In the end, I must do penitence to redeem myself for being so weak. Lord have mercy!
Saturday February 22
My money market fund is now earning just 0.77 percent, which makes it a totally useless account. It's not even insured. I must move the dough into an insured account. I suspect that all money market funds will soon begin losing their net asset value. The sinister kahuna has dealt me several serious blows so far this year. I am certain that I will be about 10 AWUs short of my goal at the end of the year. I already feel like a complete failure. Currently, the interest rate on my loans is 5.75 percent, but that's based on the original principal. Money is flowing out faster than it's coming in. Obviously, I need to consolidate my loans. Since I will be terminated from the Asylum as early as two weeks from now, I will have no need for additional tax deductions. It is also fairly obvious that I should not not have wasted precious funds on a useless telescope. So far, there have been only three or four clear nights since I purchased the damned thing. There are rarely any clear nights in Hawai'i. Low clouds are always present in the tropics. That's how stupid I am.
I am in full survival mode now. Things are only going to get worse. I chatted with Pseudo-professor Jim on the express bus yesterday. I asked him what his monthly expenditures were. He said he averaged about one AWU per month. He also has no health insurance, which I found odd. However, his rationale was sound. "Most doctors use the prescription drug cure for my age group," he explained. "These drugs are normally long-term prescriptions, and I don't want that." This is one area that I full agree with him. I do not want to ever find myself in that situation as well. That's why I go to the gym religiously, and I will continue to do so for as long as I can. Sheesh! I spent the day lapsing in and out of a coma. Later, I walked to the gym and did a leisurely workout. I will spend the evening with my beloved iBook. I have also been reading passages in the Good Book late at night.
Sunday February 23
Since everything is totally out of my control now, I must concentrate on whatever is still within my locus of control. I must eliminate any superfluous spending. In addition, I should consider the divestiture of my beloved six-four. There is an art to surviving in poverty. I have perfected that art since becoming a monk. I have observed that the most impoverished people refuse to live within their means. In fact, they are the ones who seem to have all of the latest toys and gadgets. It is a matter of "self-esteem," these fools say. Materialism and consumerism are addictions. As with all addictions, both serve the pleasure centers of the brain through instant gratification.
As for the economy, it's easy to see why interest rates are low. There is a vicious cycle of over-extended credit which requires printing even more paper money to cover the debt. Inflation is already here. Prices remain low because almost every consumable item is made in China. The strict monetary policy in China keeps prices low for us, while concurrently increasing the trade deficit. I will eventually have to invest in gold or other precious metals. Naturally, I will do so when it is already too late. One of my contingency plans was to shift my investments into hard currency and, thus, remove my assets from view (read: taxes).
My present goal is to make it through the year utilizing as much damage control as possible. As I have chronicled in this journal, life does not get better. Humanity has gone beyond the point where it can serve to better itself. Rather, cynicism and greed have caused the degradation of society. The level of debauchery that we are exposed to daily makes Sodom and Gomorrah seem like innocent theme parks in comparison. We are so accustomed to this filth that it no longer even concerns us. Frankly, the majority of people have already been assimilated. In the next chapter of my life, I will strive to find my own private paradise since there is no place on earth that is unadulterated by filth and scum.
I lapsed in and out of a coma in my favorite chair as usual. I pondered my situation as described prior, which only served to make me ill. Needless to say, I was in a bad way for the rest of the day. I walked to the gym and only did a cardio workout. Later, I graded exams for my classes at the Diploma Mill. I will spend the evening with my iBook and my Bose Acoustic Wave. The skies are completely clouded over as usual. Perhaps it is time for me to review my situation.
Monday February 24
The treachery at the Asylum continues to increase. I don't know whom to trust anymore. Keir, the student who inadvertently ignited this whole fiasco, is no longer coming to my classes. Oddly, he still attends Kevin's class. Today, he told Kevin that he had engaged in a conversation with Bug, wherein Bug allegedly stated that I was the sole person to initiate the Roach Inquisition. I am beginning to suspect that Keir is a major player of the whole sordid affair. I also discovered that I only have one class for the Fall term at the Diploma Mill. Everything is falling apart so quickly. I do not even have time to gather my thoughts. At first, I thought that Roach may have been responsible for my class load reduction, which would have made a great lawsuit. I cut my gym workout short so that I could meet with the academic coordinator. It turns out that the reductions have been uniform for all pseudo-professors. I sent e-mail to the academic coordinator of the math department to sign up for two classes. I have no choice. The class times would have conflicted with my usual Asylum schedule, but I do not expect to still be there in the Fall.
All aspects of our lives are dictated by money. Frankly, I am sick of thinking about it. Somehow, I got locked into the notion that I must save for the future. This fear is within us all. It's the fear of growing old and not being able to afford convalescent care. No matter what I do, I will never save enough for that day. Thus, I am wasting my time worrying about it. I could also lose my life or become penniless in the wink of an eye. So, I have been worrying about trivial matters. I just need to live prudently. People like Bug and Roach will reap their just reward sometime later, just as that fly-by-night contractor did. The universe is ruled by cause and effect. Those who cause the needless suffering of others will, in turn, bear witness to their own suffering. No amount of money will ever ease their pain. I must have fooled myself into believing that dinero could buy happiness or security. What a joke!
Tuesday February 25
An uneventful day, which to me is most welcome. Kevin seems obsessed by the mock tribunal. He is continuing to feed more and more damaging information to the Roach Inquisition. I have yet to call those clowns at the security guard firm. I feel as though I am wasting my time. Kevin believes that Bug and Roach have already been questioned. He senses animosity on the part of Bug. I laughed my ass off thinking how betrayed those pathetic insects must have felt after giving Kevin a pay raise. I finally briefed Chip about the whole situation as well. The word is getting out. As for me, I am just counting my days.
Last night, I had a real sense of inner peace as I sat in my favorite chair. Since I do not have a tube and the skies are still cloudy, I have nothing better to do. I will probably do the same tonight. I saw my favorite Asian babe at the gym this afternoon. What a hottie! Remember when Jack played the Devil in the Witches of Eastwick? He was obsessed with babes, but they constantly frustrated him. "There must be a cure ... a vaccine ...," he muttered to himself at one point. What a riot! I restored my monk haircut today. I wonder if my favorite Asian babe will notice. Just kidding!
I ran into Pseudo-professor Robert. He was in good spirits for the first time in a long time. Naturally, we talked about the babe situation. He brought up Pseudo-professor Amber. I had to inform him of the strange and scandalous circumstances surrounding her mysterious disappearance. There is no escaping the babe situation. Shirley called twice in past two days. However, I have not gotten around to calling her back. I am too fatigued because of the on-going drama of the Roach Inquisition. The big potluck for the end of the term is to happen on Friday. I will send e-mail to Shirley to invite her. I hope that it will be a good celebration to cancel out the effects of the Evil Roach Empire.
Wednesday February 26
Yet another uneventful day. I wish all days were like this. I just do my work. No one bothers me. Then, I leave the salt mines. Major changes in my life are to occur over the next few months. I am almost too fatigued to care. We are just days away from the imperialist invasion of Iraq. Everyone is so excited about this event, either because a lot of "towelheads" are going to meet Allah or because the economy may have a short-term boost. Life is so cheap, depending on where one lives and what is one's social status. We are easily entertained (and reap profits) by mass genocide with no apparent guilt. In the last days of Rome, debauchery like this was rampant. In fact, the decline of most advanced societies was preceded by an overwhelming moral decline. This is where we are heading today, but the coming backlash is going to reduce us all to ashes. The universal law of cause and effect can never be broken.
The Lysistrata Project is slated for next Monday. It will be a worldwide event, basically a reading of the anti-war comedy "Lysistrata" by Aristophanes. The heroine Lysistrata encourages babes from opposing sides of a civil war to withhold da wild thing from their BoyToys until the guys, conquered by unrequited lust, agree to ratify a peace treaty — "We need only sit indoors with painted cheeks, and meet our mates lightly clad in transparent gowns of Amorgos silk, and perfectly depilated; they will get their tools up and be wild to lie with us. That will be the time to refuse, and they will hasten to make peace, I am convinced of that!" Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! Most of these megalomaniacs are impotent to begin with. That's why they wage war in the first. Even though I am a monk, I can safely say that I would rather be doin' da wild thing than committing mass mayhem. Sheesh!
Thursday February 27
This morning, I read with much grief about the untimely passing of Mr. Rogers. I was already a teenager when he became quite popular. However, I often watched "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" with my sibling, and I was quite entertained. In all honesty, Mr. Rogers was a major role model for me. I wanted to become like him because he exuded a kind of pristine innocence, a trait ever so alien in our world. He was a gentle and kind man. How stupid I feel when I recollect the number of times that I have fallen prey to the callous and treacherous ways of worldly fools. Stupidity and violence only begets more stupidity and violence. The lessons that Mr. Rogers taught have been largely ignored. Simply put, kindness begins with the individual. The passing of Mr. Rogers is truly a great loss.
Last night, I spent a couple of hours perusing the Edmund Scientific catalog. I had been waiting for the catalog to arrive for over two months. It is not the same catalog that I remember as a young lad. However, it was entertaining nonetheless. The Edmund catalog as well as Heathkit and other hobbyist catalogs are what got me interested in engineering as a profession. Looking at the Edmund catalog brought back a lot of old, nerdish memories.
The day was uneventful. At the Asylum, two of my students brought food for the potluck by mistake. So, we had a preview of what is to come tomorrow. Kevin has been compiling and submitting a lot of information to the Roach Inquisition. I believe that he has already surpassed me in volume. I will be going in for Round Two of the interrogation process next week. I am still not convinced that anything positive will result from our participation. If Bug and Roach are not terminated for severe dereliction of duty after this, then we will know that the whole process was a joke just like the Asylum. I did a moderate workout at the gym. My favorite Asian babe was there with her babe friend. I will spend the evening relaxing with my iBook. The skies were partially clear last night, but I just did not feel like taking my Orion telescope outside. If the sky is somewhat clear tonight, I will make a better effort. I probably should have purchased the Astroscan telescope from Edmund Scientific. I vaguely remember when it was first introduced over 26 years ago. It is a small reflector telescope in a red plastic casing. It looks like a toy, but it most likely can outperform my little refractor. What I really like about it is its size. Of course, none of these ruminations matter at this point in time.
Friday February 28
The potluck at the Asylum was a success. There was so much food. However, I spent the first hour rounding up more student testimony and composing yet another statement to submit to the Roach Inquisition. Kevin had even more material. He went in for interrogation again yesterday. He had another appointment this afternoon, but it was mysteriously canceled. Shirley came by at about 10:30am. She told me about the latest antics with the Middle Eastern guy. Apparently, he was shopping at Daiei on February 13th with his cousin. Shirley was working that day as a cashier. He went through Shirley's line and bought a few things including a box of V-Day chocolates. Later that evening, homeboy's cousin returned to the store. He went through Shirley's line and presented her with the box of chocolates. Apparently, homeboy was too smitten to present it himself. The Middle Eastern guy is also a partner of some car stereo store in Kailua. He offered to put new car speakers in Shirley's car for free. Obviously, homeboy has a crush on her. I also told Shirley a little more about the Roach Inquisition. All in all, the potluck was fun.
After my class at the Diploma Mill, I went to the gym. My favorite Asian babe was there. When I first descended the steps into the meathead room, I saw her on one of the machines. I changed in the locker room. When I exited the locker room, I saw baby on the abdominal machine right next to the entrance. So, when I walked out, I found myself looking directly at her, much to my surprise. While I was on the military press machine, I saw her station herself on one of the machines at the other end of the meathead room. I switched to the deltoid machine, which faces in the opposite direction. While I was doing a set, I saw baby and the Ambassador walk past me. They ended up about three feet in front of me. They were talking about baby's workout. I could hear everything baby was saying since her voice carries. They walked to a spot to my left and continued talking for a few more minutes. Then, they left. Baby went back to the same machine she was on before the curious conversation with the Ambassador. Well, at least I found out that baby does workouts on the weekend, just like the ol' lavahead. I don't believe that she has a stud, which is really stupefying since she is a hottie. While I was on the StairMaster machine, I saw baby enter the aerobics room. Once again, I noticed that she ended up in my direct line of sight even though the room was dark. My gym sessions are becoming more tortuous by the day.
I was happy to return home. My Bose Acoustic Wave is playing the usual psychotic classical pieces. I will spend a portion of my evening with my beloved iBook. I am still waiting for a clear night so that I can use my Orion telescope. Seeing my favorite Asian babe was very unnerving, what with me being a monk and all. Sheesh!
Saturday March 1
As to be expected, I lapsed in and out of a coma for most of the day. On the way to the gym, I saw Roach drive by. I never make abrupt head movements when I have my shades on. Instead, I move my eyes about. I could see that Roach recognized me, but he made no attempt to acknowledge my existence. The gym was crowded, so I only did a 40-minute cardio workout on the Transporter-like machine. When I returned home, I washed my beloved six-four. Then, I did my yardboy chores. I will spend the evening with my Bose Acoustic Wave and my iBook. The moronic neighbor on the hill keeps turning those stupid floodlights in his yard on and off continuously. I may have to walk up there and "strobe" his head with my fist. Maybe he needs to meet my Nova Spirit. Why can't I be more like Mr. Rogers?
I downloaded the Apple Safari Web browser last night. Looks like a nice product. However, I will continue to use Netscape 7 because I must use Composer to create Web pages for LoserNet. I continue to peruse the Edmund Scientific catalog, although I do not plan to purchase anything. I am also getting ready to divest more of my useless possessions. And, I've taken to reading passages in the Good Book regularly each evening.
Sunday March 2
There has been absolutely no one visiting LoserNet for the past few days. There is no reason to read this crap anyway. Every day, it's the same old thing. I have already made a pledge to myself that I will not initiate any changes. I am going to maintain the status quo. The monk life-style is here to stay. I plan to further reduce my activities, which will have the net effect of increasing the banality of the journal. My initial prognosis of my situation was that I was going through some kind of depression. Heck, most of the people in the world are now currently suffering from a form of depression. Later, I realized that I was going through a period of adjustment. As I separated myself from a materialistic world, I found that I was increasingly alone in my beliefs and thoughts. I vowed to not give in to peer pressure, which caused further alienation. As an example, Shirley was excited to show me her new cell phone with the its color screen. She really did not need a new cell phone since the old one was working fine. I was not impressed with it and, frankly, I did not know what to say. People are only worried about obtaining the newest toys. That's the basis of social interaction these days. Show and tell. Aside from that, conversations center on what's playing on the tube. No one really seems to care about anything else. Either I am greeted with a glazed look, or I am fed irrational rhetoric that seems to be based on childish impulse rather than reason. This is the reason why the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. This is also the reason why the most evil of scum seem to rise to power. Everyone else is too busy in their little make-believe world.
I walked to the gym. It was not crowded today, so I did my full workout. The rest of the day was relaxing, until the Ninja Turds came by while moms and I were eating dinner. I was about ready to deliver street pizza. The dolt file clerk is a very irritating bitch. I look forward to the day that I never have to see the Turds again. As far as I am concerned, moms is all that is left of my family. The day is coming when I will be totally alone. I have already prepared myself for that day. Reducing myself to survival mode has promoted greater self-sufficiency. Because I am different, I will be a magnet to oppressors like Roach. These impotent little fools don't realize that the squeaky wheel always gets the oil. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! I will spend the evening with my beloved iBook and my Bose Acoustic Wave. The skies were clear all afternoon. If the clouds do not come in, then I will spend some time looking at the night sky with my Orion telescope.
Monday March 3
I spent about an hour outside last night. The skies in the southeast quadrant were moderately clear, so I was able to spend some time with my Orion telescope. I was also finally able to see the chromatic aberrations common to short focal length telescopes. I discovered this when I viewed the ridge of Koko Crater using my 10mm eyepiece and the cheap Barlow lens (effectively 80x magnification). As I focused on a bright object, there was a purple band visible while the object was out of focus.
This was the last day of the term at the Asylum. I had to spend more time composing yet another statement and also gathering statements from students. I neglected to mention that Mr. Quixtar made an unusual and brazen surveillance run last Thursday. In addition, other strange things are happening like the mysterious disappearance of the student evaluations for one of my classes. It is, as Kevin suspected, a continuation of a more subliminal form of harassment. I will submit the statements when I appear at the Roach Inquisition tomorrow morning.
After my class at the Diploma Mill, I ended up at the gym. My favorite Asian babe was there. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to bust a move on baby. That reminds me of the conversation Shirley and I had a couple of weeks ago. "If a guy is interested, why can't he just approach me and ask me out?" she asked. There is a simple answer — no guy wants the risk of incarceration resulting from a stalking charge. Then, in another breath, she said that she has "no time for a boyfriend." So, why does she want guys to ask her out? Then, to further obfuscate matters, she said, "Why do guys always think that we [the babes] are interested in them when we are just being friendly?" To me, it is fairly obvious why most guys are completely confused. In fact, I have no idea where Shirley stands after she presented these various contradictions. Is this not the case with most babes? Sheesh! Well, I am going to relax for the evening. If the skies are clear tonight, I will spend some time outside with my Orion telescope.
Tuesday March 4
The night sky was pretty clear last night. So, I spent about an hour gazing at the stars. I'm not sure why I find this benign activity so relaxing. It just seems so peaceful to sit in the dark and ponder the expanse of the universe. What is most calming, too, is the feeling of detachment from the debauchery that I must tolerate on a daily basis. Thus, I was able to endure two hours at the Roach Inquisition. My intuition tells me that the sole purpose of this so-called "investigation" is to discredit my testimony, as a pretext for my termination. I believe that that I am being baited to expose anything incriminating about myself. It is all part of the kangaroo court process. Little wonder why Roach has been so elated lately.
I have the rest of the week off from the Asylum, thank goodness. I still have my classes at the Diploma Mill, so I must travel to town daily. I have a lot to do this week, but I won't feel so pressured. I have a reprieve from Bug and Roach. I did my usual workout at the gym. My favorite Asian babe was there. The skies are cloudy. I will spend the evening with my beloved iBook and my Bose Acoustic Wave.
Wednesday March 5
I have had a series of strange dreams lately, which has left me extremely fatigued. Thus, I was really too tired to do anything productive today. I am not even sure why I am employed. I don't particularly care to work, or should I say, I prefer a mindless job. My favorite Asian babe was at the gym. She was finishing up her workout when I arrived. Well, I have spending most of my time in deep philosophical thought. Perhaps that is what has been the catalyst for my strange dreams. I have been extremely preoccupied with these "meaning of life" issues that only the sight of my favorite Asian babe has distracted me. I wonder what that means. I will probably spend part of my evening outside with my Orion telescope, provided the skies are clear. I have been listening to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio, courtesy my Bose Acoustic Wave. It is only in the evening that I really feel as though I have peace of mind.
Thursday March 6
The skies were clear last night. So, I spent about an hour outside with my Orion telescope. The light pollution is pretty bad. I also observed that there is some kind of haze which also affects the visibility. The haze appears to be due to the humidity or the salt air. I doubt that there will ever be better conditions for viewing the night sky. Shirley called and left a message, but I did not get around to calling her back. I was too fatigued.
I left for town before 9am on the street bus. I had to meet with a couple of students at the Diploma Mill prior to class to help them with Excel. I experienced more strange dreams last night, so I was fatigued for most of the day. I arrived at the gym before my favorite Asian babe. After I changed into my gym attire, I ventured out into the meathead room. I was walking down the main aisle when I saw my favorite Asian babe descending the stairs. When she is dolled up for work, she is just a total hottie. I slipped through a couple of weight machines as a shortcut to the military press machine, thereby avoiding any chance of looking at her. In between sets, I usually lean over and look at the floor like a good monk. During one such break, I could see that someone had sat on the machine right next to me. I knew right away who it was without even looking. I could sense her presence. I doubt that she saw me grimacing as I pondered whether she was deliberately trying to make me lose my mind. After I finished my weight workout, I decided to do my cardio workout on one of the Transporter-like machines which line the back row of the cardio section. The StairMaster machines are in the next row. A few minutes later, my favorite Asian babe took a circuitous path to the treadmill machines, which are two rows down. She walked all the way down the aisle past me. I, of course, was way at the other end of the cardio section. Then, she walked back down the next aisle to one of the treadmill machines. Baby sure looked good while she was doing her workout. A thin film of sweat made her smooth skin glisten. All I could think about was what it would be like to do da wild thing with her. After I did about 25 minutes on the Transporter-like machine, I moved up a row to the StairMaster machine directly in front of me. When baby finished her cardio workout, she once again walked down the aisle past me. She went into the aerobics room to do her stretches. Naturally, she was in my direct line of sight through the glass panes again. Sheesh! One day, I keep saying to myself, I am going to put an end to this charade. Yet, that day never comes.
Friday March 7
More strange dreams left me even more fatigued this morning. I left for town at 9am, taking the street bus. As usual, I end up in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. I managed to get a few things done, but not as much as I expected. Frankly, I am tired of this whole pseudo-professor nonsense. I look back at my life daily, and I see that my rationale was extremely flawed. I should have obtained my undergraduate degree much sooner than I did. I also should have gone to graduate school much sooner than I did. And, I really should have become a wage slave much sooner than I did. Then, I would have put away enough dough to have gone into semi-retirement by now. This was a fatal error. Now, it's too late to do anything about it, except to lament at the Wailing Wall.
The reason that I even bother pondering this crap is simple — I could tolerate a lot more [dung] when I was younger. These days, just about any minor situation brings me close to erupting in senseless violence. It's easy to see why. Society has degenerated into a morass of scumbags and slime. There is no truth in our lives. We are inundated with lies and commercial advertising every second of the day. How can people live like this? We are killing off most of the wildlife on this planet. Acceptable wildlife to us is someone's good-for-nothing, mangy mutt. We are killing off most of the vegetation and foliage on the planet. We are killing off most of the aquatic life. Lastly, we are killing off most of humanity, although we have done that throughout history. Charlatans like Shrub are nothing new. History has proven that despicable losers like this end up in a position to make life deplorable for all living creatures. However, what I really cannot tolerate is the insinuation that these idiots are messengers of the Almighty or, even more ludicrous, that one of them might actually be the Messiah himself. They quote Scripture like the Pharisees, and then they prostrate themselves at the temple of Baal (read: dinero). What kind of debauchery is this? In my recent readings of the "Gospels," as they are often called, I have come to realize that demonic possession of the soul has come into vogue again. What else could explain the evil acts that we are privy to witness daily? And, remember that Satan himself often quoted Scripture.
I am glad to home from the salt mines. I find no comfort in the den of demons. Next week, I must return to the Asylum for more fun and games with Bug and Roach. They, too, are demonically possessed. I may choose to "exorcise" those demons in the near future. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! There may be truth in the thesis that schizophrenics are actually able to conceptualize on a higher plane than the rest of us. Yesterday, a disheveled senior citizen boarded the bus. "Thank you, God and Father," he kept saying aloud until be seated himself in the back. No doubt, he could see the demons amongst us. Even I know that they are here. I just can't see them.
Saturday March 8
More strange dreams. I also woke up every hour to drain the lizard, for some strange reason. I was completely fatigued today, so I spent most of the time lapsing in and out of a coma in my favorite chair. I left immediately for the gym when the Ninja Turds arrived. Moms had been cooking all kinds of food, so I knew they were coming by. Sometimes I am sickened by how moms has bought into the dolt file clerk's act. In Hawai'i, we call this the big shibai. A few weeks ago, moms told me that the Turds aren't saving any money. I didn't say anything. The Turds don't need to save money. They are just waiting for the day they can move into their home in Hawai'i Kai, the one they will get for free. The dolt is certain that moms will let them move back in before Turd Jr. turns ten years of age. This is the essence of the waiting game, of which we are down to 20 months and counting. So, knowing this, I will have to do my best to remain employed.
I did an extended workout at the gym. When I returned home, the Turds were gone. However, moms was still cooking more food for them. The Turds were probably gallivanting around the neighborhood, telling everyone that they will living here soon. Naturally, I was privy to seeing the Turds, much to my chagrin. The evil demonic possessions also afflict my so-called family. These days, anything involving money requires a pact with the devil. This evening, I am going to relax. The skies have been cloudy for the past few days, so I have not taken my beloved Orion telescope outside. I will most likely listen to the psychotic classical pieces on my Bose Acoustic Wave, as I have been all week. Simple pleasures for simple minds.
To be continued ... Go to D.04
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