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The Year of Living Dangerously
Catch Me If You Can

Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Friday June 6, 2003

I am actually glad that I have so many classes. That will keep me busy, and I'll make some spare change. I really have to laugh when I look back at the sheer volume of crap that I wrote in the last few weeks as I sat around like a sap. What is even more laughable is that I got launched by baby before I even made it to the launching pad. By the way, I got the term "launch" from the AskMen forums. I have learned so much from reading that nonsense. I realize now that I must stop myself before I become idiotically entranced by some babe again, especially these so-called "hotties." Somehow, they must sense that I am desperate. How is that possible? I am the master of the Data-like personality. I am the author of the eunuch-like behavior. No, they cannot possibly see beyond the face of stone. I am just not in their league. Ice princesses! What is even funnier is that I would fear approaching babes. I have to make presentations in front of large audiences every day. At one time, speaking in public was my greatest fear. Now, it's so easy. Losers make great public speakers, but babes aren't attracted to them.

An uneventful day. I spent most my time fretting over the choice of a restaurant for Shirley's belated B-day celebration. I decided that I would make two separate reservations and let Shirley make the final choice. I called Assagio's in Ala Moana and made a reservation. Then, I called Buca di Beppo in the Ward Cineplex, but I was not able to secure a reservation. I also figured that we would end up at one of the theaters later. I went to the gym and did a quick workout. Glen was there. I left town on the first express bus.

Shirley arrived a little late. We were going to take my beloved six-four, but Shirley did not care for my six-four's brand of "air conditioning." We ended up at Assagio's. Dinner was enjoyable. After dinner, we visited the Apple Store. We did not stay long because babes are usually not interested in computers. I tried to explain to her why guys need computers. Whereas babes can easily hook up with guys, most guys can spend an extremely long time in single mode. We also looked around Shirokiya. It's much more enjoyable to peruse the various stores with someone else than alone. Shirley decided that she did not want to see a movie. She either wanted to play pool, which I suck at. Or, she wanted to go to a karaoke joint. Her nefarious purpose, of course, was to make the ol' lavahead sing. Make no mistake, no one will ever hear the ol' lavahead sing. I agreed to go with her. We ended up at some Korean-run karaoke joint. Shirley sang her heart out. I resisted any suggestion to sing. She tried to use blackmail-like methods to coerce me (i.e., If I don't sing, she won't do the Summer activities). I am sure that she was just kidding. I then broke down and offered to tell her how to access LoserNet. Yes, I promised to give it up! I warned her that she would become severely disillusioned if she peruses the site. I am sure everyone can agree. After Shirley dropped me off, I had to immediately set up my iBook. Well, hey! I'm a loser!

Saturday June 7

Woke up. Drank coffee. Extremely fatigued. I had fun last night, even though we had to make an emergency stop at Zippy's in Kahala because the meal was a little too rich for me. Alas, the quirks of old age. I decided not to go to town. Rather, I am going to relax because I have to return to the Asylum on Monday. I lapsed in and out a coma in my favorite chair for a couple of hours. Then, I walked to the gym and did my usual workout. I cannot believe how my big night out made me so tired. What is odd is that I experienced a few anxiety attacks today. I knew why they were happening. Before I moved into the Roach Motel back in Convalescent City, I was anything but a reclusive monk. I was a social addict, always out with different groups of people. I couldn't stand to be home. I am starting to feel those pangs again. I sent out the list of activities by e-mail. Then, I sent the RSVP for a hike up Diamond Head this week. A fairly easy hike. Let's see if I get any responses. Probably will end up just being Shirley and I, if Shirley can make it. This evening will be boring. Maybe the skies will be clear and I can resume my benign night skywatching with my Orion telescope. Otherwise, more of the same.

I really only expect to do a fraction of the activities that I have on the list. That's pretty sad. Most of the people whom I know don't want to do anything, or specifically would rather do things by themselves. People have to do what they have to do. Well, at least I will have a lot of dough left. I can't force them to be my friend or to do things with me. I'll probably have to start hanging out with students again. Sheesh! Frankly, I am a little discouraged. However, I have learned to always blame myself first. My homey Rod called and left a message. Sounds like he will be in Hawai'i this November for sure. That's good. I need to talk with someone who isn't a zombie. Well, all I know is that this is a beautiful Summer, and it sure sucks to be alone.

Sunday June 8

I called Rod at about 9pm. He was driving home on the freeway, so he called me back about 30 minutes later. He's definitely coming in November. He will be flying out on Thanksgiving Day. We chatted for a while. I was in a much better mood. Later, Shirley called me on my beloved cell phone. So, the oversized cranium received a healthy dose of RF radiation. I had neglected to tell her how to access LoserNet. So, I sent her the information. So, don't be surprised if her comments appear in Speak! III by LoserNet. Heck, she may stop talking to me after she reads the journal. Sheesh!

Woke up. Drank coffee. My nerves are shot. I am not sure whether I am unnerved because Shirley will soon be reading the journal. I also sent e-mail to Shirley and asked her if she would call Erin and confirm whether Wednesday is a holiday for the Asylum. If not, I am going to take the day off for "medical reasons." This is really what it's come down to — I can get another job anytime, but I can't always find a babe. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! Am I going to able to quell my phone phobia by tomorrow? Shirley called around noon. Naturally, she called my beloved cell phone. We chatted for about an hour. She checked an e-mail from Erin which stated that Wednesday is a holiday for sure. She is supposed to go shopping with Erin, but I told her that the hike was more important. Then, we talked about condoms and other stupid stuff. I walked to the gym and did my cardio workout. However, my nerves were still frayed. I am quite nervous about Wednesday.

Well, I'm going to relax with my iBook and Bose Acoustic Wave this evening. I return to the salt mines tomorrow, but my real concern is ... well, you know. I will also plan the hike. I'll make sure to bring a some bottled water. I also should locate a place for a quick lunch. That way we will have time to talk story. I still have the hope that this could be one of the best Summers I have ever experienced.

Monday June 9

An uneventful day, although I will say that I was on the edge for most of the day. Shirley also called last night to tell me that Erin has decided that they would go shopping on Tuesday, so everything is set for the hiking adventure. Shirley said that she will bring some bottled water. So, I just have to confirm everything with baby. I did not enjoy my classes at the Asylum. I was able to make it through three hours of lecture, but my mind was definitely preoccupied. At the Diploma Mill, I was chatting with Pseudo-professor Ralph about the quirks of the older, faculty. I was, of course, including myself. A fringe lunatic bitch pseudo-professor was sitting there as well. She became very upset because she took what I said personally. I don't even know the bitch. I apologized to her nonetheless, when I really wanted to say, "Shut up, you stupid ho'!" Obviously, what I said struck a chord. That shows how so many people are in denial about how unhappy they really are. Glen arrived late at the gym. So did my favorite Asian babe. It's really too bad that baby won't come around. Then, I could invite her along on these wonderful activities we have planned. Glen and I went to Jamba Juice after the gym. It was my turn to buy. He said that we should go to Mau'i sometime. Heck, I may take him up on the idea.

Moms is spending the night at the Ninja Turds because she has to "baby-sit" Turd Jr. tomorrow. This charade is getting tiring. My nerves were really frayed as I waited as long as possible to make the call to baby. Naturally, baby did not answer the phone, so I had to leave a message. Maybe she won't call back. She probably turned it off knowing the old fool would be calling. I will send an e-mail if that's the case. Perhaps she is toying with the oversized cranium. It's good to know that now before making a complete fool of myself.

Tuesday June 10

Shirley called a few minutes later. I was really having a night with my beloved cell phone. She was on her way to Ramona's to spend the night. She had to give Ramona a ride to the airport early this morning. \We also discussed a few other foolish topics. She said that she would have no difficulty asking a guy out. "What have I got to lose?" she asked. She also said that she found it hard to believe that I have difficulty asking babes out. I have come to really appreciate Shirley as a friend, especially during my current ordeal. She probably senses that I am going through a tough time. I really am. I'm losing my grip on reality because I see that my days are numbered. I should have been more prudent and more daring in the last four years. Instead, I buried myself in denial and lived like a monk. Now, in the eleventh hour, I am frantically trying to find a babe. It's a tragic situation with serious consequences.

An uneventful day. I am having difficulty facilitating my classes because I am so preoccupied by my situation. I can no longer even justify my life as a wage slave, but I have to continue to save money. Pseudo-professor John sent e-mail to say that he want to join the hike. I asked him to call for the arrangements since I am not sure if we will arrive on time. I will admit that I was tempted to ignore the e-mail, but that would not be right. Glen was at the gym when I arrived. My favorite Asian babe arrived on time. Glen and I made a bet about where baby would situate herself first. I was sitting on one of the military press machines. I said that baby would go directly to the Smith machine about five feet away from me. Glen said that she would go to the lat machine. Guess who won? Yep, I was right on the money. I am going to listen to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio this evening. I've got to chill.

Wednesday June 11

Last night, I read with some amusement Barbara's comment in Speak! III by LoserNet, "Are you sure it was not yourself you sensed? Aren't you the dangerous one at this point?" I've never really considered that I could be the "dangerous" one, but the latter is a distinct possibility. After all, I am making observations from my vantage point, and that is skewed in my favor. But, what kind of danger can I present to babes? I am not a stud. I don't have big bank, big house, big car, and big sausage. My nerves are completely shot!

I've been chatting with Pseudo-professor Paul a lot more lately. I previously thought that he was weird. As I have come to know him, I realize how wrong my first impression was. He is different. However, many of our discussions continue to resonate in the cavernous oversized cranium. He is only eight years older than I am, which made me keenly aware that his message was applicable to my life. He lives a mendicant life-style, similar to that of my Viagra buddy. Lord knows, I don't want to end up like them. Little wonder why I am becoming more desperate with each day passing. I feel nervous and restless constantly. I have no inner peace. Let me be honest. All of this anxiety is converging on the babe situation. At least I'm not trying to live in denial anymore.

I woke up to the sound of rain. Within minutes, there was a downpour. The sky was extremely overcast. I thought for sure the hike would be canceled, obviously the work of the sinister kahuna. However, the weather cleared up by 8am. Shirley called at about 9am. She had just got up and would be running late. About 20 minutes later, Shirley called again to say that she was just passing through Waimanalo. The hike up Diamond Head was a lot shorter than we thought. Overall, the hike was a lot of fun.

We stopped off at Kahala Mall and had lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. I had previously thought of going down Monsarat Avenue to find a place, but this turned out better. There was a 15 minutes wait, so the three of us strolled the mall. When we returned to the restaurant, we were seated immediately. We each ordered personal pizzas and turned our table into a mini-buffet. Lunch was delicious.

Shirley and I sat in the former "warehouse" and chatted for about an hour. Shirley said that my problem is simply the fact that I am, like most guys, trying to hook up with hotties. "You need an ordinary Asian babe," she said. "Like who?" I asked. She mentioned her friends, Tammy and Ramona. I said that she should set one of them up with Pseudo-professor John, who is close to their age. Shirley felt that there was a compatibility issue. To me, it's the same thing. Tammy and Ramona will not settle for anything less than their own expectations. Of course, these topics are purely academic. I enjoyed chatting with Shirley.

Thursday June 12

I had to edit my journal entry of yesterday. I couldn't live with the crap I wrote. The bottom line is that I am losing my [copulating] mind. I am going insane. I, on the other hand, am a cynical old fool. Why I continue to deny myself of my own dignity, I do not know. I am only looking for a way out. I actually do not deserve any babe. I keep listening to all of these idiots in my age group. All I hear about is how little time "we" have left. I can't blame them either, because I am the one who is buying into that nonsense. I am not even sure why Shirley wants to be a friend to an idiot savant.

An uneventful day. I was barely functioning today. As usual, my mind was preoccupied. Can you guess what I was thinking about? At the gym, Glen had a small interaction with my favorite Asian babe. They were both reaching for the 20-pound dumbbells. So, baby asked him whether he needed both dumbbells.

Friday June 13 - Sinister Kahuna Day

An uneventful day. All I could think about was how boring this weekend is going to be. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I was really despondent by noon. Glen was already at the gym when I arrived. My favorite Asian babe was conspicuously absent. Glen remarked about his encounter with baby yesterday. "Out of all of the benches in the back room, she chose the one right next to me," he said. He has been noticing the same kind of proximity behavior that I have been observing for months. He then told me that she is "dangerous." I laughed. Heck, I've known that for a long time.

I sent e-mail to Pseudo-professor John and urged him to join us next time. I also told him that he should ask a babe to join him. These group events are less stressful than dating. I received a reply which was predictable. He went on about being a boring guy and then he repeated the same kind of woeful tales that I have recited and heard many times over. My Prozac buddy offers similar stories but with a slightly different variation. I really can't take it any longer. I am sick of being a loser, and I am sick of hearing the same old loser stories from other people. So, today — Sinister Kahuna Day — I am officially rescinding my monk status. I am no longer a monk. I am returning to the human race.

When I returned home, I noticed that moms had prepared all kinds of food to cook in the kamado tomorrow. So, the Ninja Turds will be stopping by. Sickening, isn't it? I also noticed a thread in Speak! III by LoserNet posted by Annie (in New Jersey) titled, "Shirley Rocks!" I have to agree. Shirley has a unique vantage point with her older friends like Ramona and the ol' lavahead. I probably would have gone berserk by now if it wasn't for her. Well, guess what's up for the evening? Can you say, "Choke da chicken"?

Saturday June 14

I was feeling tense and restless last night. Fortunately, Shirley called and broke the chain of stupidity before it cycled into a drinking spree. She had just gotten off work. We chatted about a variety of interesting topics. Since I rescinded my monk status last night, I really don't care what happens. As far as I'm concerned, the truth will set me free. I now see why I am where I am, that is, alone and alienated. I have nothing to offer anyone. I have no money and no power. I am also a boring guy. Nothing is going to change this, so it no longer matters to me. You're probably thinking that I am reverting back to my old self. No, there's a difference. I am not here to please other people or to answer to their whims. In addition, I am not going to take the blame for my misfortune. Nor am I going to hide behind a monastic enclave. Those days are done and over.

I have been pondering my discussions with Pseudo-professor Paul. As I said before, I thought he was out in left field. Now, I realize that he is probably the most well-adjusted person I've met. He seems extremely happy and optimistic, but he does not hide behind any kind of Prozac-induced euphoria. He was honest about the challenges before him, and he expressed real fears. He knows his time is limited, but he has adapted an excellent coping philosophy. He isn't bogging himself down with foolish concerns like finding a babe. I see my problem now. I have chained myself to irrelevance such as the babe situation, money, and my dysfunctional family. Thus, I've become like a slave, begging for a mere pittance. In essence, I have handed control of my life over to those intangibles. And, hence, my happiness is a function of those same intangibles. I must emancipate myself.

I left for town around noon. Moms was busy setting up the kamado. I didn't want to be around when the Ninja Turds arrive. I am taking control of my happiness by removing myself from a sickening situation. I ended up at the Diploma Mill. I wasted time with the usual nonsense. Then, I went to the gym and did my usual workout. My previous attitude would have led me to summarize this day as pathetic. I would have called myself a loser. Then, I would rejoice in being a monk. Now I look at it as a positive experience. I removed myself from a depressing environment. I was able to accomplish a few tasks, and I also enhanced my health. It wasn't "busy work" because there was value in what I did. I must tell myself that there is value in everything I do, unless I am lapsing in and out of a coma in my favorite chair or lamenting at the Wailing Wall.

Sunday June 15

Shirley called back about 8:30pm last night. We chatted until about 10pm, when she had to leave to go shopping with Ramona. It's a good thing that I have unlimited weekend minutes for my cell phone. I also had my headset ready so I would not radiate the oversized cranium. We covered a wide range of topics tonight. Actually, I was glad that she called. Otherwise, I might have walked down to Koko Marina and bought a big-ass bottle of the "Hammer." Yep, I was starting to feel like a loser again. Old habits are hard to break. One of the highlights of the conversation was Shirley's reading of her high school love letters and poems. We also discussed Annie's comment in Speak! III by LoserNet, the one titled, "Ordinary Asian Babe." This thread was based upon Shirley's comment that the ol' lavahead should find an "ordinary" Asian babe instead of looking for a hottie. Shirley said that, upon further thought, she concurred with Annie. Out of curiosity, I asked her why someone like Pseudo-professor John would not even be considered a candidate for dating. "He's too wimpy," she said. "I'm not sure he'll be able to stand up for me." An interesting comment because it has been echoed so many times. Babes want a guy who can offer physical protection, but the chances of any life threatening situation occurring is negligible. Guys are being evaluated on a criterion that is antiquated. However, what can be more ludicrous than my desire to find a hottie?

Ordinary Babe

This is is a strange life. As I look back, I realize that I've actually been married and divorced twice. Both were "cohabitation" arrangements, so I was spared the litigation process. However, both relationships account for ten years of my life. They were the best of times and the worst of times. Both ended about as messy as a typical divorce. At least I was spared being taken to the cleaners. I had no dough anyway. The breakup isn't the hardest part. The hard part is trying to find another babe. The older one gets, the more nightmarish the process becomes. So, these thoughts merited a trip to Foodland to purchase a bottle of the fake "Hammer" (i.e., Vendage Chardonnay with the plastic cork). When I first entered Foodland, I saw a blond hottie standing by the deli counter with her babe friend. I grabbed a bottle of the fake "Hammer." As I was walking to the checkout line, I saw the two babes walking ahead of me. For some reason, the blond hottie turned around, She looked straight at me and kept looking. I had my shades on, so I could see what was going on. There was another guy next to me, but I could see that she was looking straight at the ol' lavahead. Do I need some Thorazine?

The blond hottie at Foodland kind of threw me off. I was going to partake of the elixir and then get to the bottom of my foolish desire to hook up with young hotties. For example, whenever I see a hottie, I go through some odd sensations. An extremely strong feeling surges through my whole body. And, no, it has nothing to do with the Vienna Sausage. Thank goodness, because my mind would probably snap. I have no way to describe the feeling, except that it is so intense. This feeling is so strong that I almost buckle over. Then, when I see babes in my age group, I feel nothing. What is the difference? Could I be immature? The real issue is that a relationship should be based on compatibility and companionship, which really should have nothing to do with physical attraction. So, why this disparity with "ordinary" babes or babes in my age group?

Monday June 16

Shirley called last night, We chatted for an hour about a wide variety of topics. Woke up. Big headache. A student allegedly filed a complaint against me at the Asylum. It was clearly staged by Bug. The fun is about to begin. I had a nice workout at the gym, even though I was fatigued. Glen was there. We were upset since my favorite Asian babe did not show up. I have invited a few other faculty on our outings including Professors Russell, Brian, and Allison, and Pseudo-professors Cathrin and Paul. The Summer activities will continue. We will be doing the Manoa Falls hike on Sunday, if all goes as planned.

The dolt file clerk has been calling all evening. Moms has to stay over there again because Turd Jr. is sick. This little charade is getting tiring. It's just a ploy to get moms to beg them to move back in and accept their "inheritance" early. The stupid part is that the plan is probably working.

Tuesday June 17

Life has been a little rough around the edges ever since I rescinded my monk status. The adjustment period has been difficult. However, there have been some positive aspects. Yesterday, when I asked some of the other faculty to join us on the outings, I was really surprised at how happy they were to be invited. That made me feel really good. I was fully expecting rejection. I have also been more candid about subjects that I previously avoided (e.g., babes). I have noticed that Shirley and I have had much more interesting conversations lately. However, I will still have to keep my humility in check. I am worried that my spiritual concerns will fall to the wayside and be displaced by more nefarious interests. Freedom is good as long as it is not abused.

I am also beginning to see the folly of my ways. The repressive monk life-style had an adverse effect on my psyche and distorted my interpretation of my surroundings, particularly babes. After partaking of the fake "Hammer" the other night, I realized how far this has gone. I don't need to be a monk to remain single, if that is what I choose to be. I don't need to hide behind a false icon in order to justify my existence. I don't really need a babe to define my masculinity. However, even without the monk moniker, I do need peace of mind. Some things have not changed. It is only now, after purging the stupidity from my soul, that I realize I do not need a babe. The years of repression had only exacerbated a non-existent dilemma. I am now proud of who I am without having to call myself a monk. I am no longer feeling the pangs of infatuation for any babe. I feel nothing at all, except a profound sense of freedom. I am actually now free of thinking about babes. I do not need them, just as they do need need me. This is a great moment, probably the greatest moment of my life. Sad to say, it only came about with a cheap bottle of the "Hammer." I have finally emancipated myself from the prison of my own mind.

Another complaint by another student was lodged against me today at the Asylum. It is becoming obvious what the game is. I really could give a crap. The rest of the day was uneventful. Glen and I were at the gym as usual. After the workout, he treated me to a smoothie at Jamba Juice. I chatted with Pseudo-professor Robert and urged him to join in on the activities. We had a nice discussion. When I returned home, I discovered that moms had called and left a message. Moms will be staying over for another night because Turd Jr. is really illin'.

Wednesday June 18

I forgot to mention that Shirley called on Monday night. We only chatted for 15 minutes since she was on her way to Ramona's place. Apparently, she is going to meet Bryce for the first time this Saturday. I was a little chagrined by the news at first because, if Shirley were to hook up with stud, then I will no longer have a good friend and companion. In addition, the Summer activities may go to the wayside. These are the risks when befriending babes. If she does hook up, I will be happy for her. By the way, Speak! III by LoserNet has been cleared of the residual "baggage" that accumulated while I was grappling with the monk issue. The topics were moot and only served as an unpleasant reminder of an awkward time. Some people may be wondering whether this is a stunt to just return to a more clandestine version of the monk life-style. No, it's not. However, I will continue to live as an ascetic. I will also continue to divest myself of useless possessions.

Now, the important part. I do not plan on discussing the babe situation much. As far as I'm concerned, it's a moot topic. The skeptics will wait to see if there will be a repeat of the same nonsense three months from now when I supposedly become infatuated with another babe. This will not happen. After I rescinded my monk status, I was no longer living the ruse of an eunuch. I do not have to hide behind the monk robes. The hardest part was living in denial, constantly proving to myself and others that I was unaffected by biology. Of course, my latest gem, the revelation of yesterday where I claim to no longer need babes, probably has made a few eyes roll. Reaction-formation, you are saying. However, in the Grand Scheme of Things, people like Pseudo-professors John and Robert, as well as myself are big losers. I lump us together for the reason that we lead parallel lives. We're too old to live at home with moms, but we do. We are marginally employed and earn marginal incomes. The only difference between me and them is the fact that I actually have saved some dough, albeit chump change. I am able to purchase a decent home, and I can afford the payments. I can also purchase a nice car. So, why don't I? If I did, my motives would be pathetic. I would be doing exactly what my Prozac buddy wants to do — use all of that as "bait" to attract babes. It's not worth it. Since I am no longer living down to the monk standard, I am able to freely make choices. Thus, I choose to do what I do, rather than forcing myself to simply comply with ritual.

An uneventful day. At the Asylum, there is a pathetic story going around about Alvin, who happens to be one of my students. Apparently, he invited a babe (another Asylum student) to fly to Las Vegas with him. He didn't even know her that well. He paid for everything, but he is going to end up paying more. The scandalous ho' not only took money from him but also "borrowed" his credit card. She ditched Alvin shortly after arriving there, and spent most of the time with some other guys she had met. One of the guys forged Alvin's signature for numerous charges. What a sad story. Pseudo-professor John responded to my e-mail. He mentioned that one of his babe students had hit on him, a first in his book. She gave him her phone number. However, she is divorced with a kid, and she also smokes. I surmise that he rejected baby. Glen has been talking about my favorite Asian babe constantly. Even when I see him early in the morning for classes, he brings her up. And, he's a married man. Baby has not been at the gym since Thursday. So, this afternoon, the main topic of discussion was whether she would show up or not. She arrived a few minutes later than usual. At one point, I was talking with Glen at the water fountain. Just as I finished taking a sip, I turned around to continue talking. I saw baby walking down the aisle straight toward us. Then, she stepped beside me. I excused myself and moved out of the way. Baby had a big smile on her face. This is the first time I have ever seen her close up. She is a real hottie. I am not exactly sure why she decided to have a drink of water right then. She walked all the way from the central part of the meathead room. Well, I'll leave it at that. Unless I take some kind of action, this observation is simply meaningless.

The past few days have been difficult. There have been many instances where I wanted to just say, "I'm a damned monk, for goodness sakes." In the past few years, I have been able to avoid many topics of discussion by just reciting that one line. Instinctively, I am still ready to respond in that manner, but I always catch myself. For the first time in years, people now know that I am not an eunuch. Well, so far, there does not seem to be anybody interested in the Manoa Falls hike. There have been a few people who already said they can't make it. I'm not even sure if Shirley can make it, so I may have to cancel the event.

Thursday June 19

An uneventful day. At the Asylum, I was exonerated of all the recent charges choreographed by Bug. I have been having a lot of fun with my math class at the Diploma Mill. I am really beginning to enjoy teaching again. I chatted with Professor Marimi for a bit. She talked about social dancing. She apparently is very good at it. She has been trying to get a student club going, and she also wants to recruit faculty members. I said that I would make an announcement in my classes, and that I may recruit myself and a few other faculty members. She also mentioned that there were no guys showing interest, so the club is full of babes. I also invited her to join our Summer activities group, and I have put her on the e-mail list.

Glen and I were at the gym, along with my favorite Asian babe. I am now trying to figure out how to recruit her for our Summer activities group. After the gym, Glen and I went to Jamba Juice. It was my turn to buy. I walked back to the Diploma Mill. My Prozac buddy was there. I tried to persuade him to join the activities, but he does not seem interested. Professor Brian was there as well. He will be going on the hike, but Pseudo-professor Cathrin (his babe) will not because she is in Norway. I also called Shirley and chatted with her briefly. She confirmed that she will be going on the hike, so we're good to go. Last night, she had joined Erin's group for happy hour and dinner at some posh restaurant. I also received e-mail from Pseudo-professor John. He is looking forward to joining in on the Summer activities. He also discussed the babe student in his class who is interested in him. He has chatted with her on the phone and has also been to her place. I was shocked. That's the most assertive behavior I have ever seen displayed by him. Overall, this was a good day. I have no babes, but I am not a monk. What less can a guy ask for?

To be continued ... Go to D.11

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