Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Saturday January 17, 2004

I left for town early this morning on the bus. I completed a lot of work that I had put off all week. I called Glen. He did not want to go to the gym. I visited him at his place for a few minutes. Then, I went to the gym. I did a quick workout. After that, Glen and I drove to the Ward Center. We meandered around all of the shops. I finally bought a new backpack. We ended up at Border's. Later, we drove to Ala Moana Center and walked around the mall. Glen's wife is out of town. Naturally, we were checking out all of the babes. We also looked at surfboards. Glen and I are really thinking about taking up surfing. Short boards are about $500 and longboards are $800 or more. Ouch! I caught the bus at 5pm. When I returned home, moms was busy preparing food to cook tomorrow. The Ninja Turds must be coming. I wanted to eat a sleazy bento for dinner, but moms told me to eat the meat loaf that she just made. My rage almost overcame me. Here I'm even being told what to eat. Sheesh! I left for Kahala Mall immediately afterward. I felt better even though I was cruising around like a loser. I called Caroll and chatted with her. She was doing better today. Nothing really changes with her. She is always stressed out over money and crappy jobs. I don't think she'll ever get out of that rut. I also believe that she is resentful of the fact that I do not volunteer to help her out financially. I called Rod to make sure everything was in order for his arrival here on Thursday. I called Debbie, the realtor whom Lori recommended. I have an appointment on Monday morning. Looks like I'll be taking the plunge after all. I cannot believe how fast this process has been so far. The pre-approval for the loan took all of 30 minutes. The Ninja Turds apparently could not even get that done. It makes me wonder whether they even tried. Well, I think that we all know the answer.

I was really losing my mind today. I have never felt this way before. The desire for a babe has reached a fever pitch. I was also thinking about da wild thing. It's been five years now since my last time. I am going berserk. My mind almost snapped. Then, I had to see all of those young hotties running around the mall. I'm not sure what I am going to do anymore. I have lost all semblance of sanity.

Sunday January 18

Dealing with the biology is getting to be the hardest part of my mid-life crisis. I don't even want to think about it anymore. Pseudo-professor Robert is now ex communicado. He no longer keeps his cell phone on, and his voicemail is disabled because it is over the limit. I decided to disable my voicemail as well. Well, hey! We live parallel lives! Sheesh!

I did my morning hike up Koko Head. Then, I left for Ala Moana on the bus. I sat on one of the benches at Ala Moana Beach Park. I called Caroll and chatted with her. I enjoyed the serenity of the beach, which really helped to clear my head. I then took a bus to Kahala Mall. I bought a Jamba Juice smoothie and walked around the mall. After I returned home, I decided to take another hike up Koko Head.

Monday January 19

Shirley called last night. She spent the day with Erin. It turns out that Erin is trying to set up Shirley with a guy named Jason. In actuality, Jason is a friend of one of Shirley's friends. He was there when they all went clubbing a few weeks ago. To complicate matters, Shorty was hitting on Jason. She apparently has a thing for him. However, Jason is not interested in Shorty. He's interested in Shirley. Shirley said that he was "okay looking," once again proving that the so-called "chemistry" that babes keep talking about is simply physical attractiveness. He is an engineer working at Pearl Harbor, so he makes decent money. That seemed to negate the "looks" problem. It looks like Shirley will be hooking up soon, so my social life will be coming to a rapid close.

I did not feel really good this morning. I took the bus to Kahala Mall early this morning. I met with Debbie, the realtor contact that Lori recommended. She did not clear up much with me, but she gave me a stack of listing for single family homes and townhouses. Sad to say, my price range (no more than $350,000) buys me literally nothing. I felt like a homeless beggar. Well, the search begins. I'm not sure what I'll end up with. I took the bus to town. I called Glen and met him at the gym. After my workout, I caught the next bus to Kahala Mall. I bought a cup of coffee and cruised around Barnes & Noble while I waited for the next bus to Hawai'i Kai. Even with the coffee, I was still extremely fatigued. Incidentally, I have picked up an additional class at the Diploma Mill, so my income level will be maintained.

Tuesday January 20

Strange things. I believe that Robert (he's no longer a pseudo-professor since he has no classes) tried to call me on Sunday night. He did not leave a message. I am curious to find out what he's been doing and what his immediate plans are.

I did not sleep well last night because of the coffee I drank late in the afternoon. I got up early and caught an earlier express bus. It was raining fairly hard. It took about two hours to get to town. This is the first day of the Spring term. I thought I had allowed enough time to get to town and catch the student shuttle to the Hawai'i Loa campus. After I disembarked off of the bus, I ran to get my stuff. I had someone call the people at the other campus to notify my students that I would be late. I finally arrived at 9:30am and was able to conduct my class. I caught the shuttle back to town. Shirley dropped by briefly to see me before her class. My afternoon at the Asylum was very frustrating. The Dean is causing more problems because he is essentially a micromanager. He is making decisions which impact everyone, but he has no idea what he's doing especially with the technical programs. The stupid part is that I was hired to do the job. Ernie has gone through the same crap.

I went to the gym. Then, I saw Shirley walking over to the Diploma Mill's bookstore. I did a few things in the faculty computer room and then I found Shirley still in line. Behind her was Kelvin, a former student of mine from a few years ago. I was surprised to see him still on campus. I went back to the faculty computer room. Pseudo-professor Kellie was there. She was acting very strangely. It seemed as though she was trying to make herself available for me to talk to her. I just went about my business. Then, she asked what time it was, even though there was a clock on the wall directly in front of her. She sat at the table looking at her papers. Then, she checked her messages using the phone. She sat at the computer for a while. It just didn't seem natural, but I cannot be certain what she was up to. I'm sure that she had a 5:15pm class. However, she was just acting too suspiciously. I was so tired anyway. I took a quick nap on the express bus home.

Wednesday January 21

I am coming very close to going berserk. I tell people this, and they laugh. Why would I be joking about the fact that I'm losing my mind? Sheesh! There is more at stake, however. I am advancing rapidly in age. Soon, I won't be able to do da wild thing anymore. I haven't done da wild thing in six years. I am going nuts! When I see Lisa, the babe student services coordinator at the Asylum, I also imagine doin' da wild thing with her. Pseudo-professor Kellie is looking really good, too. I am listening to House Music every chance I get. It's the only thing that calms my nerves. Shirley called last night. We chatted for a while. We talked about the usual subjects. We also discussed her possible hook up with Jason.

An uneventful day. Shirley and I ate lunch at Taco Bell, just like the old days. We continued our discussion from last night about whether guys and babes can truly be friends. As it turns out, even Shirley had to admit that guys as friends always include ulterior motives.

Robert was in the faculty computer room when I returned there from the gym. He was having a very caustic discussion with the Dean from the military campuses. Homeboy was expressing his displeasure at being dropped from the faculty roster. He also had a discussion with the Dean of Arts & Sciences. To no avail, he did not receive any classes. I am not certain what he is going to do. He is still staying with his friend in Aiea. He says that he is never returning home. However, he only brings in about $1,000 per month net pay, of which $250 immediately goes to pay for his health plan. Essentially, homeboy has pushed himself down Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to the survival level. It's a good plan in one respect — he no longer needs to worry about higher level needs (i.e., the babe situation). Unless he is able to increase his income significantly within the next few weeks, he will be drawing closer to his self-destruction.

There is one point that homeboy made a few weeks ago and has repeated several times, which has been resonating in my head. He believes that he is a surrogate for his father in his mom's eyes. I believe that he's right. And, that is exactly what I am going through at home as well. We are also being treated like six-year-olds. Naturally, this dual role is creating immense stress which is manifesting itself in several ways. Anger is the most prevalent in both our cases. Homeboy finally snapped, while I am quietly continuing on until I can move out. Even though homeboy is in dire straits, I am envious of him. He has his freedom now. I am still in prison.

Thursday January 22

I called Pseudo-professor Robert last night. We chatted for about 30 minutes. We pretty much continued our earlier discussion. I am actually concerned about him, and I have gained a lot of respect for him since his emancipation. Only one thing concerns me, namely his lack of a safety net. However, he sounded more alive. He seemed to have more passion. It was then that I realized what has happened to me in the last five years. I've become an automaton. I promised to check in with him regularly. "I appreciate your friendship," he told me. That's about the greatest compliment anyone can give.

I am revamping my needs insofar as my own place is concerned. I believe that I will have to downgrade to a townhouse. On the plus side, it will be cheaper and I won't have a yard to care for. On the negative side, I will have to pay the monthly association fees and I will have neighbors in close proximity. I want to go this route now because I will be able to finance almost the full amount of the property. My savings will then remain untouched. I expect the property value to appreciate no matter what because of the limited nature of the housing market here in Hawai'i. Babes won't be impressed by a townhouse. Who cares?

Shirley called late last night. We chatted for a bit before calling it a night. Today was uneventful. I sent an e-mail to Debbie, my realtor. She sent me a comprehensive listing of townhouses. She recommended one in Kahala, which just became available. Kahala is a very high-class neighborhood. I will be viewing the property on Saturday. I am also interested in another place in Aikahi Park, which is near Kailua. I will probably attend the Open House on Sunday. My homey Rod called me to say that he and his "friend" Hortense arrived safely. They were already in Waikiki. I called Rod again a little later to tell him that I would meet them in Waikiki later in the evening.

After I returned home, I quickly ate dinner and left for Ala Moana. I took a bus to Waikiki and got off near Fort De Russey. Rod is staying at the Outrigger Reef, which is the same hotel that the Shorebird restaurant is in. You may recall that we had a couple of outings there. I met Rod and Hortense out by the pool. We had a few drinks and chatted for a while. They wanted to get something to eat, so I recommended Cheeseburgers in Paradise just a few blocks away. I walked with them for part of they way. Then, I said good-bye. I caught a bus back to Ala Moana and drove home. I will be meeting up with them later for more tourist fun. Wheee!

Friday January 23

Shirley called late last night. We had our usual discussion. Today was uneventful. My mind was actually ready to snap due to the usual bullshit. Shirley and I ate lunch at Taco Bell. We discussed the usual nonsense. I called Rod late this afternoon. I met him in Waikiki this evening, We ended up at Duke's. We had quite a long evening of drinking, but that goes without saying. I have come to realize that I need to find a babe, and I need one fairly soon. Needless to say, that's not going to happen. Perhaps I can return to the monk life-style once I come to my senses.

I also had an interesting chat with Robert this afternoon. It has become quite obvious that we share the same woeful tales. I am now convinced that I need to do something about my situation. This crap cannot go on any longer. Homeboy is staying with his friend in Aiea. She is 70 years old, and she also "mothers" him as well. I was a little shocked to learn that homeboy had charged his hotel stay on his mom's credit card. I forgot that he has no credit cards because he filed for bankruptcy a few years ago. The bottom line is that he is not fully emancipated. It's a sad story.

Saturday January 24

I was not feeling too well this morning. Too much wine last night. I took the bus to Kahala to view the townhouse that is up for sale. The real estate agent was there when I arrived, She was expecting me. The family was at home when we did the walk through. The place was a dump. It is also extremely small. I was not impressed. The asking price is well above what that dump is worth. Someone will buy the place just for the fact that it is in Kahala. I called Rod and told him that I would be on my way to Waikiki. I missed the bus by a few minutes, so I had to wait an hour for the next bus. When I finally arrived in Waikiki, I met Rod and Hortense at the Shorebird. They bought me lunch, which was really nice. By the way, I paid for cocktails last night. The bill came to $71 for that. Sheesh! After lunch, we took the bus to Ala Moana Center. I showed them around the mall. We also strolled around Ala Moana Beach. We parted company at 3pm because they had to go back to Waikiki. They were going to a lua'u later in the evening. I meandered around the mall for a couple more hours.

After dinner, I took the bus to Kahala Mall. I bought a Jamba Juice smoothie to placate myself. Then, I walked around the mall. I ended up at Barnes & Noble. Another swell evening, eh? I thought good and hard about the ramifications of buying my own place. What is really bothering me about the latter is whether I'll be able to find a place that isn't a dump.

Sunday January 25

I am beginning to wonder if I really know what I'm doing. Absolutely nothing makes sense. I am planning to up the percentage for my 401(k) plan. I have got to preserve my earning until I can get a suitable tax deduction (read: house). I have got to do something about the babe situation. There is always a lot of doubt. Then, there is the fear of getting stuck in a rut.

The other day, Robert told me that he went a hostess bar sometime last week. He apparently spent about $100 there. He said that it was enough to satisfy the babe situation for the time being, although he did not do da wild thing. His 70-year-old friend is also cooking for him and tending to his needs. I am not sure whether there has been any form of emancipation. The missing component is a good job, according to him. I am not sure how he is going to find such a job at a moment's notice. My guess is that he's painted himself into a corner.

Shirley lives the best life of everyone. She lives at home with her parents. She pays no rent. All of her basic needs are provided. Her parents pay for her schooling. With the exception of the short period of time that she lived with her last BoyToy, she has never lived away from home. She works part-time at Daiei and has since high school. The money is used to cover any of her own expenses. This is, of course, why there are many times that she cannot relate to me. I've been on my own since I was 17 years old. So, Shirley can spend much of her spare time going surfing and enjoying life. This is really the way most of the local kids are raised. That's why there is little pressure to become independent. In addition, Shirley has far greater freedom at home than either Robert or I.

I did my tanning hike up Koko Head this morning. Then, I took the bus to Ala Moana Center. I sat around for a few minutes and perused the real estate listings. I'm not sure why but I always miss the bus that I need to take. So, I end up wasting a lot of time waiting for the next bus. This was the case again today as I waited for the bus to Kane'ohe. I finally boarded one after waiting over 45 minutes. I arrived at about 2:30pm. I had to walk part of the way, but I was able to find both places. The first was fairly large for a two-bedroom townhouse. It also had two full bathrooms. The complex itself was not impressive. It looked like plantation housing. The second place was nice. Square footage was significantly less than the first one, but it was a sharp place. I really liked it. So, I called Debbie, my realtor. In fact, she had called me earlier to tell me about the Open House events. I had told her that I was already planning to go. Debbie said that she would begin the process, and I should be able to get my bid in tomorrow. I was able to get in touch with Rod. He had gone to the Swap Meet at the Aloha Stadium. I arrived back at Ala Moana Center at 4pm. I was able to catch the next bus to Waikiki. Rod, Hortense, and I ate dinner at another restaurant in the hotel. We were able to chat for a while. After dinner, Rod walked me out to the bus stop and kept me company until my bus arrived. It started raining really hard after Kahala. When I got off, it was pouring. I had to walk quite a distance. So, I was completely drenched when I arrived at home. Naturally, the rain stopped right after that. I called Debbie again. I have to meet with her for just a few minutes tomorrow to sign the offer. Well, it looks like I may have a townhouse soon. Rod called. He said that it was clear in Waikiki. They are going on a couple of tours tomorrow. I will try to see them in the afternoon.

I am kind of numb by all that is going on. In fact, I am totally unsure of whether I am doing the right thing. It seems as though I am on automatic pilot. I am following the suggestions given to me by others, yet I am totally unsure of my actions. So far, I have not been frozen by inaction except for the babe situation. I would rather live in Kane'ohe than on the West side of the island. The Windward side is nice because of the excellent view of the Ko'olau mountains. There are also excellent beaches nearby. The traffic to town won't be so bad. And, there is adequate bus service to the area.

Monday January 26

Moving out of moms' house will invoke a lot of changes in my life. I have gotten used to my tanning hikes up Koko Head. I am also in walking distance to everything. The bus stop is two blocks away. The gym is in Koko Marina. I can walk to almost all of these places. Kahala Mall is just a few minutes away. Moms has charged me low rent. Moms often cooks as well. I know that I can adjust to the autonomous life-style again. Heck, I did it for over 25 years. This is the same dilemma that Robert faces. All of the things that he has taken for granted will now become his responsibility. What choice do we have? We can continue to tolerate being treated like kids and accept compromise, or we have to move on. In my case, I wonder just how long it will take before the Ninja Turds move back in. If I finally do buy a place, I am not telling anyone in the family about it. I'll just say that I'm renting a place. Makes life much easier.

An uneventful day. I take nothing seriously at the Asylum anymore. I have too many other things to be stressed out about. Shirley came by around noon. She and Erin went out for coffee. I met Debbie, my realtor, at the Executive Center. I signed the papers stating my offer for the Haiku Point townhouse. I will know by tomorrow if my offer is accepted. Shirley and I ate at Taco Bell for lunch. We had an interesting discussion about the local ways. I am not sure whether Shirley agreed with me or not. I went to the gym for a brief workout. Rod called me shortly after that, but I had too little time to go to Waikiki. Robert dropped by the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. He spent about an hour checking out the babes on Match.com. He is trying to find another pace to stay. He mentioned that he retrieved his bass guitar from his mom's place. I am seriously beginning to doubt if homeboy knows what he's doing. He has no money and no place to stay. He wants to find a job commiserate with his experience and education, but he's checking out babes on-line. I facilitated my evening class and took the street bus home.

I was thinking about my situation at home. I am worried about moms. What's going to happen when I move out? Moms' whole life is centered on caring for her family. If the Ninja Turds do not move back in, then moms will lose one of her main purposes in life. Yet, when I arrived at home, I discovered more reasons why I must move on. I scrounged together some leftovers for dinner. Moms kept talking to me about heating up some chili. The next thing I knew, moms was taking the chili out of the fridge. It's quite obvious that the decision is being made for me.

Tuesday January 27

I caught the express bus to town and jumped on the shuttle to the Hawai'i Loa campus. After I facilitated my math class, I returned to town. Pseudo-professor Dorothy arrived at the faculty computer room shortly afterward. She was quite upset because her condo association is going broke. She owns two townhouse units in the same complex, one of which she is planning to sell. She fears that the tenants will be charged a huge assessment. Pseudo-professor Ralph was also there. I had an afternoon meeting at the Asylum. I really am not getting paid enough for what I do. The Dean is attempting to make changes which will affect everyone, and there is going to be tremendous resistance. I should know because I drafted most of the proposals.

My offer for the townhouse in Kane'ohe was good until 4pm today. I have not heard anything from Debbie, so I expect to find out that I did not get the place. Just as with babes, I cannot have what I want. I am even more stressed out than baby. I have already calculated that I will get almost everything back in taxes if I buy a place. In addition, I discovered that I was a real fool for not setting up my 401(k) two years ago when it first became available to me. I just can't seem to win.

I forgot to mention that Shirley called late last night. We chatted for a while about the usual nonsense. Caroll also called yesterday, but I was busy at the time. She did not call back. I have not been so unnerved lately. However, that has provided little in the way of consolation insofar as the babe situation is concerned. Heck, look at Robert. I have been noticing all of the hotties running around town lately. It is so pathetic to know that they are all beyond reach. I am now down to ten months before the Big Five-O.

Wednesday January 28

The morning at the Asylum was dismal as usual. If it weren't for the students, I would go berserk. I am only sad because I know that most of them will not get anywhere. Shirley came by to visit Erin for a few minutes. She and I then walked to Taco Bell for lunch. Everyone at Taco Bell already knows our order. It's so funny. After lunch, I walked Shirley to her class. Then, I went to the gym. I had sent e-mail to Debbie, my realtor, earlier. She sent a reply stating that the decision was coming later in the day. After the gym, I checked my e-mail to discover that my offer was accepted. So, if all goes well, I will be moving into my townhouse in Kane'ohe on March 16th. This latest turn of events has caught me by surprise. I am almost in disbelief at how fast the process has been. I am now not at all certain how I will handle the situation with moms. Make no mistake, I will purchase the townhouse if all goes well. I really need the tax deduction. And, I would have eventually needed my own place. I am not sure if I will tell moms because the Ninja Turds will find out right away. The Turds will be extremely happy. However, until the Turds move back, I have to worry about moms. I will be giving this much thought in the days to come. I ate a Chinese take-out dinner from Panda Express tonight. The fortune in the fortune cookie read, "A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

Thursday January 29

I did not really tell anyone about the acceptance of the offer for the townhouse. So far, no one has seemed too interested in my little adventure. Some people are possibly envious, but I do not know why. I am purchasing a tiny little shoebox. It's more like an apartment than anything else. This weekend, I plan to go around and look at furniture. I want to buy nice furniture, but not too expensive. So, I'll look at Pier 1 Imports and perhaps a few of those Euro-design places. I sure hope that I'm not over my head on this deal. I should be excited, but I'm actually scared. I'm playing around with a lot of money, and I'm too close to the "Golden Years" to be gambling with my meager savings.

I forgot to mention that Caroll had called on Tuesday evening. She got a promotion and a pay raise. She works as a telemarketer for a company that sells aluminum siding for houses. I hope that the job pans out for her because she has been stressed out for several years now. Living in a tiny trailer has also not helped her situation. However, this is the first time that she hasn't been rooked by loser roommates. I also neglected to mention that parts of my conversation with Shirley during our lunch at Taco Bell involved da wild thing. I told her about how guys go berserk after long periods without da wild thing.

Another grueling afternoon at the Asylum. The Dean is now ordering me to do his dirty work for him. This job has turned into a nightmare. If I buy the townhouse, I am going to be locked in this slavery forever. Earlier in the morning, I had a very pleasant time at the Hawai'i Loa campus. I chatted with Pseudo-professors Ralph and Dorothy in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill before I left for the Asylum. Shirley stopped by as well. We had a great time. Robert also came by. He looked extremely fatigued. He has apparently moved out of his friend's place in Aiea. He is now house-sitting for someone else. That will give him ten more days of borrowed time. He asked me whether the e-mail from the Swedish babe pseudo-professor had meant anything. I told him to just snap into action and see what happens. Later in the afternoon, I chatted with Pseudo-professor Dorothy again. I caught the last express bus out of town. The townhouse deal has kept me busy.

Friday January 30

Debbie, my realtor, came by last night to pick up a check for $1,000 as part of my offer. I have more documents to review and sign. I will now have to secure my loan. I sure hope this works out. I did note that the unit is being rented currently. This was not disclosed earlier. I was not too happy about that.

I also chatted with Robert last night. I am really worried about him. He does not plan to return to his mom's house. So, he will be a nomad, moving from one place to the next. How long can that go on? It reminds me of the time when I was homeless. I did the same thing for a whole Summer. It was a tiring adventure. My own situation with moving out of moms' house is another story. I am beginning to realize that it also has to do with baby, at least indirectly. There is no question that I absolutely cannot attract any babes while I live at home with moms. I can no longer live under the old house rules, the ones that have been in place since I was a kid. So, I have no choice now but to venture out on my own. Parallel lives. It's nothing short of amazing.

An uneventful day. Well, actually it was another dismal day at the Asylum. Lisa, the student services coordinator, has resigned. So, the only babe in the whole staff is now going over to Heald College. The Dean was really happy about that. I was pissed off. Shirley and I ate lunch at Taco Bell. I called both Debbie, my realtor, and Brenda, the Bank of Hawai'i loan officer. I have an appointment with Brenda tomorrow. After the gym, I returned to the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. Robert and Pseudo-professor Ralph was there. Homeboy was checking the Match.com profiles again while he told us about how he needed a good job and a place to stay. We had a good time with a lot of laughs, which is pretty unusual these days. At one point, Pseudo-professor Ralph was rolling a new bottle of water on the floor to the water cooler. "This is our future," homeboy said. "We're watching a middle-aged guy roll a bottle of water to the cooler."

I was really in a bad way after we parted company. I am losing my mind. Here I have almost everything, except a babe. Is it just too much to ask? I ended up at Kahala Mall this evening. I drove there right after dinner because I wanted to check out the housewares at Macy's. I will be checking out furniture tomorrow. I was really perturbed when I realized that few people are single. It's sickening. What is even more disgusting is the fact that I may soon own my own place, and yet I am not good enough for any babe. In the latter respect, both homeboy and I are pushing the envelope of sanity. What the hell is wrong with us?

Saturday January 31

I almost lost it last night. I am probably even more perturbed than Robert. This anger may have a future benefit. Perhaps one day I may see the light. I will finally realize that I don't need a babe. Sheesh! I was beginning to regret my decision to buy the townhouse. What will moms do when I move? The Ninja Turds moving back in is not the answer. That's only going to exacerbate the situation. However, if they don't move back, I believe that moms will not be able to afford maintaining the place. The problem, too, is the inheritance situation. I have no idea if I am still a beneficiary of the living trust. I cannot afford the tax liability. If the Turds discover that I have bought my own place, they will attempt to squeeze me out anyway. In actuality, I have to count on my part of the estate because my own mortgage will outlast me.

I went for my tanning hike up Koko Head early this morning. Then, I met Brenda at the Starbuck's in Koko Marina. She has given me a number of options for a loan. I am probably going to choose the two-mortgage option and put only five percent down. The two options are a regular fixed interest 30-year loan and a 30-year adjustable rate (ARM) loan with the first seven years fixed. The second mortgage for both is an adjustable rate type. I have no choice because my current loan eats up about $277 per month now. I am considering the consolidation of those loans. My down payment and closing costs will still require me to part with almost $20,000 immediately. My monthly payments will either be $1,078 or $1,198 per month. My maintenance fee is $250 per month. At this point in time, I am not seeing any advantage to buying the townhouse. I've chosen this route because I did not want to deplete my savings too much. I will be changing my tax exemption status soon, too. That way, my net income per paycheck will increase. I currently claim zero exemptions. Fortunately, my money market fund is yielding close to nothing, so I will not lose a lot of sleep over this. I am also considering the ARM option because I do not think that I'll keep the place for that long.

I went furniture shopping after that. It took all day going around by bus. I went to the Scan Design store. That stuff is well beyond my reach. I tried to go to the new Inspiration store but it still hasn't been built yet, although it is listed in the phone book. I almost had to clock an obnoxious haole on the bus. The asshole cut in front of me. So, I bumped him. He gave me some lip and kicked me while we boarding the bus. I gave him a good shove. If it weren't for the driver, we would have probably duked it out. Thus, I was really upset when I got off and saw the vacant lot where the store was supposed to be. All of this anger, of course, has to do with my pathetic financial situation and also because of the babe situation. I ran the mortgage numbers through my head for the rest of the day. The bus ride home was a nightmare as well.

Shirley called twice while I was on one of the various buses to get home. I called her back when I got off at my stop. She is not working tonight, so we are going to hang out. Everyone will be at Superbowl parties tomorrow. I am going furniture shopping again. I don't particularly care about the Superbowl. I hate the tube anyway. I was dismayed by the high prices of furniture. Pseudo-professor Ralph has offered to give me some furniture, He said that his collection is "eclectic." I really want decent furniture for my place because it may be the first and last place that I own. I don't want it to look like my shoebox in the Roach Motel back in Convalescent City. Robert called. He was doing his laundry at a place in Manoa. We chatted for a bit about his situation. He now realizes that he may have to move home for a while. We also discussed my mortgage situation. Overall, Robert sounded much better, possibly because he is getting more sleep.

Shirley arrived at about 9pm. We drove down to Koko Marina and watched "Big Fish." She was in a bad mood. However, she was much better after I told her about my incident with the clown on the bus. We didn't do anything after the movie. Normally, we hang out somewhere and talk story. Koko Marina is so unexciting. Shirley did not want to go to town for some reason. At least I had a small outing this weekend. I was about ready to snap.

To be continued ... Go to D.25