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The Exodus Files
No Man's Land
Sunday October 24, 2004
Yesterday, when I was hammered out of my mind on the bus, I was essentially the asshole's asshole. When the bus driver got off the bus to talk to the other driver, I bellowed, "The fucking bus is a half-hour late! What the fuck is going on here?" I was speaking rather loudly. The bus was full, and everyone must have thought that I was a psycho. Of course, this brought to mind what Anonder stated in Speak! IV about maintaining civility in order to remain a part of society. Society is a joke. It barely exists now. Look at the upcoming election. The pundits have already predicted that there's going to be a legal battle just like in the year 2000, only worse. The courts are going to choose the winner again. Nothing in life makes sense anymore. The level of corruption, chicanery, and debauchery have permeated all levels of life. There's no escape. Look at the Asylum. Why do humans want to make life miserable for everyone? What is the purpose? The hypocrisy is what really gets to me. Take a look at that O'Reilly clown. The gasbag has been spewing out all of that self-righteous crap for years, and now he's been exposed as a pervert. Isn't that something?
I have modified my so-called "financial strategy." I am going to try to get myself motivated to sell my six-four and to prepare Chez Loser for rental. I wish that I had sold off all of my useless possessions when I was gung-ho about it two years ago. As far as Chez Loser is concerned, I am at least committed to keep it until the end of the year because I have already planned everything around itemized tax deductions. I will have to ramp up my version of the "truth" when I return to the Asylum this week. I will be detailing the sale of Chez Loser and the tremendous loss that I will incur. Kevin is attempting to weasel out of his night classes using his time-tested lie about his three jobs. He is the Master of the Lie, not that he's a good actor. Kevin has a very deadpan, solemn composure. He controls most of the body language that would give him away. He also has a very persuasive method of feigning compassion. Although he often claims to be a devout Buddhist, he told me a few months ago that he no longer attends the church because of his wife. Kevin has also been trying to pin a lot of the subversive crap on Layton. I've now recognized that the latter method is one of his major modus operandi. I cannot defend myself because I am hardly at the Asylum. I must rely on universal karma to deal with Kevin and the rest of the disciples of "Samhain."
I, myself, am not immune to universal karma. For example, my worst ordeals seem to happen when I am hammered. Look at what happened yesterday and last weekend. This undercurrent of stress is going to be my demise, if I don't keep it in check. I decided to make the sojourn to Chez Loser again today. I did not want to, but I was compelled to make the journey. The bus ride was quite enjoyable today. When I arrived in town, I discovered that Alakea Street was closed again. I had to disembark at the Beretania Street stop, which is not on the regular route. However, the bus was early enough for me to walk to bus stop near the Nu'uanu YMCA. I was able to catch the No. 65 bus. When I arrived at Chez Loser, I immediately poured out a glass of wine, even though I vowed that I wouldn't. I had only two glasses and then I sat in the Papasan chair to reflect on life for a few minutes. I was planning to leave at 2pm. A few minutes later, I saw Shirley standing at the front door. Now I realized why I was compelled to be there. Shirley said that she had read the journal yesterday. She has been trying to contact me, but she thought that my cell phone was off. She did not leave a message. She came by to clear the air about the situation with Erin. First, I made it clear to Shirley that I did not take anyone's side. I also told her that my friendship with her would never change. She explained what happened, which made sense. Apparently, Erin had separated from her husband back in February. In addition, Erin was as scandalous as I have always suspected. She has been carrying on a relationship with a student for a while. That's the same student who happened to be at the Mai Tai Bar when we all went there back in March.
I poured out a glass of wine for Shirley. We discussed the matter a little more. I advised her that she should stay clear of people with marital or relationship problems, even if they are friends. The propensity for some kind of triangle to develop is high. We also had a foolish discussion about who is hotter, Shirley or Erin. Mind you, we always have this discussion when Shirley tells me how gorgeous Erin is. I could not persuade her otherwise, even though we discussed this on and off for the next two hours. I will state this here for the record — Shirley would win hands down over Erin any day. When she is dolled up like the night of the lua'u, she is drop-dead gorgeous. Some of the guys at the Asylum still talk about her after that night. We finished the rest of the bottle of wine. Shirley moved from lying on the rattan settée, to lying on the floor, and then over to the Papasan chair during that time. The last time she came by, she sat in every chair in Chez Loser. I found that amusing. We finally departed to have a snack at The Shack in Kailua. I had to drive her car because she was still a little tipsy. We ate greasy burgers and fried zucchini, which was quite filling. Shirley also admitted that she's been drinking a lot more lately. Last week after her night class on Wednesday, she went to Mercury for a few drinks with her classmates. She also met her sister for drinks at Cher's in Kailua on Friday night. The latter has some significance in times gone by, but that account was pruned from the journal. We are supposed to meet this Wednesday night to go for drinks. Sounds good to me. Shirley gave me a ride back to Hawai'i Kai. Overall, a very pleasant day. I am glad that Shirley came by, but I really was not worried about her side of the story. As I've always said, she will always be a good friend. I am still a little suspicious about how she happened to read the journal the other day. She said that she reads it from time to time. I am more inclined to believe that she was informed by someone else. If that's the case, then maybe the journal is compelling reading, eh?
Monday October 25
Did you like that parody of O'Reilly's book? Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! I enjoyed chatting with Shirley yesterday, even though I was becoming frustrated at trying to persuade her that she is a hottie. She said that her relationship with stud has cooled off a little. He's been working a lot. Too much. "He even goes in to work when he doesn't have to," she said. She also mentioned that she doesn't like it when he uses the Elmer Fudd love talk. She wants him to be more manly. "So, you want him to rip your clothes off?" I asked. He also seems to be developing a little jealousy over Seth. Of course, I always tell Shirley a bunch of foolish nonsense which she probably finds entertaining. The situation with Erin had to do with the latter's scandalous behavior which eventually became the stuff of legends. As you may recall, the "fraternization" clause in the Asylum's employee handbook was specifically written for Erin and I. In my case, it was the psychotic ramblings of Toad accusing me of dating a student. In any case, I am not going to bring up any of this up with Erin. It's best to let this matter fade into the woodwork.
I saw Lori on the express this morning. We had an interesting chat. She wants me to go kayaking with her sometime. She also will be sending me an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. I have noticed that Lori and I have one thing in common. She is fretting about old age as much as I am. It's actually kind of funny. The Asylum was uneventful. I spent most of my spare time socializing with the other faculty. Many of them have come to the realization that "Samhain" wants us out. Didn't I tell them this months ago? Erin briefly mentioned that the time period in question was around the second week of April, just after Shirley's B-day. That's when Shirley was allegedly seeing Erin's husband. Shirley said that they did not hang out at all. They were just conversing on the phone. Shirley was impressed with Randy's fortitude to make the marriage work. I had told Shirley that I was highly suspicious of his motives. I did not discuss anything further with Erin. As I said, I will let the matter fade away.
I walked to the Diploma Mill after my class at the Asylum. I left my gym bag on a chair in the faculty computer room because I had to help Layne with his homework. Students are not allowed to be in the faculty computer room, so we had to sit somewhere else. When I came back, my gym bag was on the floor. Some dickhead was sitting in the chair. I apologized for the bag being in way. As I was putting the bag on top of the file cabinet, the asswipe said, "Someone just told me to throw it over there, so I did. I was going to throw it in the trash can." With a shit-eating grin on my face, I said, "It's a good thing you didn't because I'd have to go ballistic and kill someone." He didn't say anything after that. Pseudo-professors Bill and Dorothy were also there. After the clown left, I laughed my ass off.
In between my classes at the Diploma Mill, I went to the gym. I saw Robert along the way. I asked him about the babe situation. "I can answer that in one word," he replied. "Sublimation." He has become obsessed with his bass guitar, or so he claims. He then told me that the young hottie he's interested in was wearing seemingly transparent pants today. "I could see everything," he added. He described what kind of underwear she had on. He was clearly driving himself berserk. He also mentioned that he had arranged for tickets for the first night of the Hawai'i International Film Festival. That's when he discovered that both the young hotties already had BoyToys. A group of people from the Legal Aid Society were going. The babes were late, so he went in with the others. He left the babes' tickets at the box office. After the movie, the babes caught up with the group. They were with their BoyToys, and they were smoking. Robert was not happy. I told him that we're just two old losers. We need to know our place. There are no babes for us. Did he not learn from my own mistakes? Incidentally, those particular events have been pruned from the journal.
After my last class, I noticed that there was a message on my cell phone. As I stood at the bus stop, I called to retrieve the message. It was from Shirley. I called her back. She was on her way to town for her evening class. I asked her what's what. "Jason," she said. Apparently, she and stud are playing games again. They were supposed to go to a movie last night, but that fell through. They usually call each other during the day. Apparently, he was home already. The conversation today was uneasy. Shirley has also been going over to his place after her night classes. She usually spends the night there. She decided that she was not going there tonight because he seemed to be pissed off earlier. By the way, Jason lives in a small room adjacent but separate from his parent's house. I've tried to explain to Shirley about what is really happening, but she just doesn't want to accept what I have to say. Stud is acting up because he's not getting any "action." Shirley just doesn't understand that, when a guy is kissing and running his hands all over his babe, he will reach the Point of No Return. When a guy is that worked up, he's not going to want to stop for anything. Then, she's lying right next to him in bed for the rest of the night. It's really easy to understand why he's in a bad way. The problem is that he does not know when to cut his losses. It does him no good to tell Shirley that he can wait when he really can't. Even I, a monk, would not be able to handle that kind of situation. The whole problem can be summarized as "sexual tension." I will be perfectly honest here. If any babe spent the night in the same bed with the ol' lavahead, it had to end with da wild thing. Otherwise, I would have to move to the couch and let baby sleep by herself in the bed. What babes don't understand is how tortuous "blue balls" really is. As far as the babes are concerned, guys only want to "score." For guys, any kind of intimate contact is a "green light." Shirley does not seem to understand this. If I was stud, I'd be losing my mind if I was sleeping next to a hottie like her. How many cold showers can stud take in one evening? That's why there's so much game-playing. That's why feelings are hurt. That's why I am not a part of this crap anymore.
Tuesday October 26
Shirley had told me that she and stud have discussed all of the relationships issues including da wild thing. My guess is that stud went along with whatever they agreed upon because he was certain that the latter wouldn't last long. In my opinion, he should move on rather than play games with Shirley. That's the most honorable thing to do. Right now, he is attempting to manipulate the situation and use emotional blackmail to get Shirley to concede and give up the goods. The moodiness and the pouting are clear signs of this kind of weasel-like behavior. Of course, Shirley is giving him "mixed signals" by spending the night. It's always up to the guy to put an end to this kind of charade. If I were in stud's shoes, I would tell Shirley that she cannot stay over anymore because it's killing me. Then, I would also tell her that the physical contact has to be limited. A kiss on the cheek would be adequate. As a guy, it is his duty to do this. He knew from the beginning what the terms were. Now, he's trying to change the rules. Emotional blackmail is not going to work with babes, especially Shirley. Well, that's neither here nor there.
An uneventful day. I had to meet Layne, one of my students, at the Diploma Mill, but he didn't show up. I was not affected by that because it allowed me to stay away from the Asylum. I walked there in time for my class. Judith and I team teach the math class every Tuesday. I give the infamous "team talk" and Judith covers the lesson material. I left immediately after class. "Samhain" was in the hallway as I walking out. I said hello but made no attempt to chat with him. Pseudo-professor Ralph was in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill for most of the day. I chatted with him about the usual nonsense. I gave an exam today in my math class. I also passed back the weekly math journals to the students. Christina, one of my babe students, had written something about some guy in the class whom she's interested in. Part of the math journal is to observe any distractions or diversions that hinder the learning process. It's kind of an on-going joke between she and I now. "Did you figure out who it is?" she asked today. I said no. The other students are always wondering what we are talking about. The math journal has helped a few students, but the overall grades still do not seem to be improving.
I went to the gym and did my usual workout. I did cardio for the first time since last Thursday. I walked back to the Asylum for my night class. "Samhain" and his disciples were gone. Shirley called and left a message while I was in class. I called her back while I was waiting for the bus. She did not call back last night. I said that I would call her to talk story when I arrived back in Hawai'i Kai.
Wednesday October 27
I called Shirley back at 9:30pm. She said that she went to the Mercury bar after class last night with the same two babes from her class (whom she was with last week). Apparently, Shirley and stud broke up yesterday. She said that the situation with Erin and what happened with Erin's husband has come back to haunt her. She made a big mistake, especially when she was dating Randy. On Sunday, she said that they only conversed on the phone. As it turns out, Jason is Randy's cousin. Last December, Erin and Randy tried to set him up with Shirley, but she was not interested. She later ran into Jason as he was part of a group of friends that Shirley went out with in May. Shirley actually told Jason about what happened with Randy. Stud apparently brought it up in conversation every now and then, which I imagine stirred quite a bit of guilt in Shirley. Shirley had another call, so we ended the conversation. She called and left a message later saying that she will tell me the rest of the story tomorrow night at the Mercury bar.
An uneventful day. Lori was on the express bus this morning. We had a nice chat. I thought that she has been making a lot of menopause jokes lately, but it turns out that she really is going through that ordeal now. We are approaching the senior years. That is so depressing. I facilitated my classes at the Asylum and the Diploma Mill. I went to the gym during my break between classes. I bought a couple of bean burritos from Taco Bell for dinner, knowing that I was going out for a few drinks later. I walked to the Asylum for my night class. "Samhain" was still there, so I did everything to avoid him. Shirley called at 7:30pm. She was on her way to the Mercury bar. I said that I would meet her there. I arrived there shortly afterward. She was with Nicolette, a classmate. It turns out that Nicolette was once a student in my class. There were several of my former students coming and going. I found it humorous to be out and about again with the student crowd. Shirley and I had an interesting discussion on and off throughout the evening. We were doing some serious drinking, so we were quite hammered. Right now, Shirley is taking a destructive path. She's been drinking a lot more. I noticed that she's also cussing a lot. "I made a bad decision," she said. "I always make bad decisions." The situation with Erin and Randy had far-reaching ramifications. The friendship between Ramona and Shirley has also changed. Ramona was privy to know everything. However, Shirley did not follow her advice, so things have changed between them. I don't think it's as bad as it could have been. Shirley could have really screwed up. Nothing will change between Shirley and I. My friendship with her is still the same. I remained loyal to her even though she often defended her other friends, mostly babes. I clearly remember when she defended Erin even though I had told her about Erin's scandalous ways. In fact, Shirley already knew most of the scandalous stuff.
I drove Shirley's car as we made our way to Hawai'i Kai. We continued the discussion about whether she or Erin is hotter. Naturally, I ended up in an argument about the latter. Shirley still defends Erin, claiming that Erin is far prettier. I'm surprised that I didn't choke on something. Shirley is far more of a hottie than Erin. Shirley also mentioned the night that we all met at the Mai Tai Bar. Shirley wanted Erin to meet the former friend for reasons that are quite obvious. At the time, I had a thing for the former friend. Apparently, Erin became paranoid about whether the former friend was more of a babe than her. Well, yeah, the former friend would also win hands down over Erin. "Is she pretty? Is she prettier than me?" Erin kept prodding. We arrived in Hawai'i Kai at this point, so we will continue the discussion later. Shirley and I hugged before she departed. I am a little worried about her, but she will do fine. I will, of course, always remain Shirley's friend. She's about the only good friend that I have left.
Thursday October 28
To continue the story, Shirley officially broke up with stud on Tuesday. He brought the rest of her things to her. She said that the relationship was never going to last. As she told me about how she makes bad decisions all the time, she added that she wants to be alone for now. She also said that she couldn't imagine having kids at this point in time. I was quite surprised that I was the only one she didn't confide in. Even her parents were privy to the details. Well, I was ex communicado at the time. I am a little shocked that Ramona has distanced herself from Shirley. They are still friends but things are not the same. Shirley has also decided that she's not going to be on Ramona's coaching staff this year. Right now, it's all up to Shirley. She has to decide what she's going to do. I really hope that she doesn't hang out with the student bar crowd. Many of the young babes at the Diploma Mill are scandalous. They are away from home for the first time, and they get themselves into deep shit. Shirley seems fascinated by the "hoochie momma" personalities of these babes.
I've been spending time in the mornings at the Diploma Mill. I've been trying to avoid seeing "Samhain." Pseudo-professor Ralph came by the faculty computer room. We had an interesting chat. At one point, he asked, "Did you ever consider pairing up with Shirley?" I laughed. I told him that Shirley, like all young hotties, does not want an old loser. In addition, Shirley is like family to me. She's more of a family member than some of my family. The rest of the day can best be described as uneventful. I should note that "Samhain" was skulking around outside my class today at the Asylum. The prick is up to something. I was very fatigued as a result of the activities last night.
Robert stopped by the faculty computer room in the afternoon. I asked him about the babe situation. "Sublimation," he said. I am inclined to agree with him. As I sat and chatted with him, I noticed that his hair is graying rapidly. When I ran into him along Fort Street Mall the other day, I thought that the sunlight may have been the culprit. It's just a matter of time before I acquire the "Grecian formula" look. When my hair turns completely gray, I will complete the old man cycle. I am not looking forward to that time. In fact, it's making me depressed just thinking about it. Robert wants to throw a big B-day bash for himself before Thanksgiving weekend. I won't be celebrating my B-day. Last year was the "new beginning," although you probably won't read about it since it was pruned from the journal. Right now, all I want is some rest.
Friday October 29
Well, India is selling off $120 billion in US Treasury reserves. This could signal the beginning of the end for the dollar. Sheesh! There is one guy whom Shirley keeps forgetting about, and he could be the perfect guy for her. He worships the ground that she walks on. However, Shirley is apparently not interested in him. Can you guess who I am talking about? Shirley did mention that the mystery guy's friend, Ricky, actually asked her out sometime this Summer. My guess is that Shirley will eventually hook up with Seth. They seem to get along well, and they have a lot of fun together. Shirley feigns disgust at the idea, but it makes sense. Incidentally, my discussion with Robert yesterday was interesting. There were other people in the faculty computer room, so he was talking cryptically.
"We have to go to that place," he said.
"Russia?" I asked.
"No. The matchmaking service," he replied. "But, they are going to match us within our age, right?"
"Well, yeah. Plus or minus five years."
That did not sit well with him. We both need to realize that it's over. We just need to keep busy until we become too decrepit to do anything else. That should be within the next couple of years.
An uneventful day. At the Asylum, Kevin told me that one of his students was talking about Erin. "The student said that Erin is now divorced and that she is dating a student. Her husband is also dating a student," he told me. I acted like I did not know anything. The whole situation is already messy with Shirley involved. I was very busy today. I facilitated my classes at the Asylum and at the Diploma Mill. I also had to give a few make-up exams. I managed to fit the gym in as well. I walked back to the Asylum in the afternoon to puck up my paycheck. I did not realize that "Samhain" was still there. He was looking at me kind of peculiar. I should also mention that Joe, the student who filed the complaint against me, was sitting in my class today. Since he is also an employee of the Asylum, I am certain that he is a spy. I chatted with Pseudo-professor Ralph this afternoon. I was also able to view half of "Fahrenheit 9/11," the Michael Moore film, via streaming video. I already knew most of those facts, but it was presented in a manner that even the dumbest of morons could understand it.
Saturday October 30
I become more disillusioned by the day. There is something terribly wrong with the world. The senseless violence is increasing. Shrub's foray into Iraq has turned into a mess. There have been over 100,000 Iraqi deaths attributed to the bombing raids alone. At least half of that number were women and children. Naturally, in the minds of the dumbest half of this country, retribution for "September 11th" has been accomplished. All of those lives of people just like us have been extinguished. Yet no one cares. People were more concerned about the the Boston Red Sox. We continue down our own sordid path with little concern that we are complicit in the mass genocide happening halfway around the world. As I walk amongst some of the most rude and most vain people on the planet, I become aware of why my life is so meaningless. According to an article in the paper, truck and SUV sales are surging in Hawai'i. One in five vehicles is now an oversized gas-guzzler. One dealer reported that people are coming in and trading up to bigger SUVs and trucks. I can only conclude that the American population, as a whole, are made up of ignorant and stupid people. That's why that punk O'Reilly was able to buy back his morality through a settlement. Each and every day, there is more and more bad news. Earthquakes and natural disasters, war atrocities, scandals, sick and perverted behavior, psycho murder sprees. I try to remain detached, but it's becoming more difficult. Stupidity does not discriminate. Soon, it affects everyone.
I was awakened at 5am by the punk kid from the House of Lolo. He was sitting in his car with the engine running and playing techno music full blast. This went on for over an hour. I called 9-1-1, but the cops never responded. The police in Hawai'i are among the lowest paid in the nation, so they are not going to waste their time with petty complaints. There is no documentation, but I am sure that the majority of calls are never answered. It's the "doughnut shop" syndrome. Incidentally, I received a long e-mail from Mr. Ray in Florida. I've been reading his blog regularly amongst others.
I made the benign journey to Chez Loser this morning. I expected the trip to be a repeat of last Saturday. However, everything went smoothly. All the buses were late, but I was able to make every connecting route on time. I bought a big-ass bottle of Vendage Cabernet Sauvignon at Safeway. Since there was nothing for me to do at Chez Loser, I popped the cork. I only drank three glasses of wine, but I ended up somewhat hammered. I had a chance to reflect on my situation. It's not good. I have done absolutely nothing about anything. I am so sick of all of these useless possessions of mine. I have made no attempt to sell anything, just as I have done nothing about my driver's license.
I am sitting here in Hawai'i Kai as we sepak. It is raining. Moms mixed a deadly concoction of chemicals to clean the floor. Why moms does this when the house is completely closed up is a mystery to me. I am feeling sick, even though I opened all of the windows and doors. My nose is running, too. I was already not feeling too well because of the wine. This is the kind of stupidity that continues in my life.
Sinister Kahuna Day
Things are getting stranger with the sudden appearance of the new and improved Osama. He's even got a new mainstream look. As one person on the Smirking Chimp forums stated, "... the world's #1 terrorist is on TV, still alive and healthy, and still coming out with more tapes and videos than Tupac." Where has he been? Is this the long-awaited "October surprise"? I'm still not convinced that he's really a terrorist. He's on someone's payroll to play the villain. The real truth behind the "September 11th" debacle has never come out. Well, at least Hawai'i is finally on the map. Al "Woody" Gore made an appearance on Friday night in Honolulu. Dick "Jack o' Lantern" Chaney was here last night to ring in the Samhain celebration. Along with Osama, it looks as though the whole trick-or-treatin' crowd was out and about.
Well, today is Sinister Kahuna Day, and it also marks the origin of Samhain. Many people celebrated last night, I'm sure. I did nothing, opting to spend the evening with my beloved iBook just like I always do. I have no social life anymore. I have absolutely no friends to hang out with. All I have are a lot of acquaintances, none of whom find me worthy of much more. That's okay. I have nothing to offer. That's why I need to upgrade to a PowerBook. I need GarageBand! Sheesh! Heck, maybe Shirley is right. Maybe I need a tube. That's why there's nothing to do at Chez Loser. However, if I purchase a tube, I will need cable service. I have not even turned the gas on yet. There's no hot water. Cable and gas will add another $70 in monthly bills. Frankly, I don't understand how people put up with the wage slave life. The other day, I was watching some clown on the express bus put stamps on and seal the envelopes of bills that he was mailing. He must have had a stack of twenty envelopes. Money in, money out. People do this blindly for decades. Why?
I hiked up Koko Head this morning. The sky was severely overcast, so I did not get much of a tan. I have been slacking off with my workouts. I need to do more cardio workouts. At my age, there can be no slack time. I made the benign journey to Chez Loser again. Along the way, I received a text message from Shirley. She wished me a Happy Sinister Kahuna Day. I was surprised that she didn't just call. I suspect that she may have decided to reconcile with stud. Well, I hope that it works out this time. I attempted to remove the mold on the concrete in my lanai. After that, I had to drink a few glasses of wine. I was slightly hammered. I departed at 3pm. The trip back to Hawai'i Kai took 3.5 hours because I can never ascertain when any bus will arrive. I was damned pissed off when I finally arrived there. I really have to do something about my life. I cannot live this way for much longer. My useless possessions are also driving me berserk. I will add, however, that the crap the Ninja Turds have stacked in moms' living room for the garage sale is already double of what I own in total. That's only a fraction of the stuff the Turds want to get rid of. It drives me nuts just looking at it.
Monday November 1
The Asylum was as dismal as ever. Rumors are circulating that Michelle, the Student Services director is leaving. Apparently, she's being relieved of her duties as part of a "downsizing" campaign. No doubt, "Samhain" is behind this. The cheap fuck bought a new computerized PBX phone system. He wants the faculty and students to install as part of a "project." None of us are planning to volunteer our time. Phone installers make over $100 per hour. Michelle's departure also signals that the faculty will be assuming more responsibilites. I've predicted this from Day One. The biggest laugh, though, was when I discovered that the Asylum ran its first full page ad in the Sunday classifieds yesterday. At the top, it read, "Classes Starting October 19th." Oops! Isn't this November? That's what happens when one is a cheap fuck. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! All of the faculty are short one day of pay on our last paychecks. We are supposed to be issued checks to cover the difference. Will this take as long as the defunct 401(k)? The Asylum now has 315 registered students. That translates into a $3.6 million dollar revenue stream for the year. Yet, "Samhain" is willing to break the law to get a few more days of interest off of his payroll account. Don't worry, his time is coming.
I have not heard from Shirley, so I'm just going to write it off. I suspect that she's gone back to stud. In a matter of weeks, there will be a repeat of the same crap unless she finally decides to "put out." I am worried about her, but there's not much that I can do. She is graduating in May of next year. That's only six months away. Her parents want her to find a government job, most likely because of the benefits and pension. Shirley said that she would be happy to remain in the "cocoon" until she is ready to get married. It is my guess that Shirley may be showing some signs of desperation. Right now, stud is the only guy she knows that makes decent money, even though he basically lives in the "cocoon" as well. I suspect that she planned her schedule to allow herself to be in town in the evenings. That's why she has night classes now. That way, she could go over to stud's place right after class. If she doesn't go back to stud, then all of those plans would have been in vain. To her credit, I don't think she went crawling back. It would be my guess that stud called and gave her some spiel about how he's changed. Guys pull this shit all the time, but they never change. He just wants to get laid. They were getting into arguments whenever they got together. He didn't want to take her anywhere (read: spend money). That's because he wasn't getting any return on his investment. That's the way the majority of guys are. The general rule these days is — Guys are assholes; babes are bitches.
Tuesday November 2
It's Election Day, and I have a strange feeling, a premonition, as it were. One half of this country is made up of pure morons. These are not people who make up the upper crust of society, or ones who can benefit by any of Shrub's neocon policies. They are just plain stupid people who watch the tube a lot. Too much. Some of them are religious fanatics who somehow believe that religion and politics mix quite well. The common denominator? They are just plain stupid. I sat in the former "warehouse" last night and listened to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio. I was really trying to figure out whether I really exist in this place and time, or maybe I'm going through some kind of "Matrix"-like hallucination. Can life really be this stupid? There is nothing in this election that resembles a democracy. Anyone with any intelligence is assuming that the election is fixed, or there's going to be a major repeat of four years ago. In the meantime, things have gone terribly awry in Iraq. So much has happened in the last four years, and a lot of it was not good. The evil and corruption came straight from the top. I have completely detached myself from all of this, as I already know that the whole political process has been usurped by the moneychangers. In fact, I have decided to align myself with the World Socialist Party. What else can I do? I don't want an SUV. I just want the bus to run on time. I don't need a big house. I just need a place to sleep. I don't want to eat a lot of hormone-fed meat and fast food. I want a lean and healthy meal. I don't give a shit about whether anybody is "lip-synching." I only listen to purely natural (read: classical) or purely artificial (read: House) music. None of the artists whom I listen to are getting rich. None of them are going to sell out to da man. I don't want to be a fucking wage slave because all employers are cheap fucks like "Samhain." The whole world is made up of fat slobs who give a shit about no one except themselves. I don't want a tube, even though I live in a society in which close to 100 percent of the population watches the damned thing over six hours per day. Can you see anything sane about this society? I sure as hell don't.
Moms had to spend last night at the Ninja Turd's place. Moms had to "baby-sit" Turd Jr. Today was a holiday in Hawai'i, but most of us had to go to work. I have been stopping off daily at the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill when I arrive in town in the morning. I was planning to do some work this morning. Pseudo-professor Ralph arrived a few minutes later. He invited me to join him for breakfast at the Uptown Café. I declined, but I later changed my mind. I had a cup of coffee while he ate breakfast. We discussed the election. The rest of the day was mundane. At the Asylum, I discovered that there may no longer be a Student Services office. However, the students are still paying $120 every six weeks for an activities fee. The fee pays for student activities organized by that particular office. No one knows who is going to organize the graduation event either. Once again, that task was the function of Student Services. None of faculty have been paid for the missing day on our last paychecks yet. Most of the fools are still willing to give "Samhain" the benefit of the doubt. This is why Shrub will be elected to the once-stolen office he now occupies. People are just so fucking stupid. "Samhain" will be happy because Shrub is his man. I have figured out why Shrub will win the election no matter what. He's a coke and booze kind-of-a-party-guy. He also lies and cheats to get what he wants. That's why he was "wired for sound" for the first debate. He was privy to entitlement. And, he's a mediocre guy who made it to the top. The majority of people can really relate to such "values" these days. In addition, his economic policies are aligned with the mainstream. Consumerism relies on extreme leverage. People don't care about the future, whether it be Social Security or Medicare. Most of us want to pass the burden on to future generations so we can enjoy our lives now. Then, there's the scary "born again" Christians who are looking to Shrub as the Messiah. Shrub and that O'Reilly clown make strange bedfellows when it comes to self-righteous hypocrisy. Of course, the scariest part is the pure hatred that the people in this country harbor toward Middle Easterners. Saddam, Osama . . . heck, they're all the same. We hate them. We want to kill them. Oddly, "Samhain" loves the real "Butcher of Baghdad," namely Shrub. Ironic, eh? Both candidates support the Zionist regime of Israel, which is unacceptable to me. As I stated earlier, I am aligned with the World Socialist Party now. That's where I belong.
Wednesday November 3
Quite a few people were either upset or depressed this morning because of the election results. Pseudo-professor Dorothy and Professor Russell were amongst them. I am already quite certain that I've summed up the situation accurately (see yesterday). The Shrub mandate seemed to empower the Asylum management. In a faculty meeting today, it was revealed to us that the staff reductions and cost-cutting measures are part of a grand plan to "reinvent" the Asylum. The twenty-minute rationalization given by the new executive director was simply doublespeak to hide the real motives of "Samhain." There was a plea for faculty to volunteer to take over some of the Student Services functions. Later, it will become mandatory. The management has also decided that fun activities for students will be replaced with vocational activities like visiting an office to watch a file clerk in action. So, there will be no more lua'us. I remember when "Samhain" told me that he did not want to sponsor any superfluous activity. It was obvious to me then that "Samhain" is trapped in his own prison of chronic penny-pinching. He also takes life seriously. He doesn't waste his time doing anything fun. I had to leave the meeting early because of my classes at the Diploma Mill. I had chatted with Vivian earlier. She also gave me a check for the missing day on my paycheck. She is completely stressed out. She also fears that she will lose her job. "Samhain" has been piling on the work and also blaming her for everything that goes wrong. I've predicted all of this crap, and now it's come true. It's still going to get a lot worse. However, the moron does not realize that he's shooting himself in the foot.
Between classes at the Diploma Mill, I went to the gym. Rico, one of math students, was there. He was a little depressed about the election as well. "I think it's time to move out of the country," he said. I told him that I am now aligned with the World Socialist Party, and I mentioned that I may have to move to Costa Rica. He laughed. There was a call on my cell phone. I was going to check my messages after I returned to the Diploma Mill. I figured that Caroll called. She called several times yesterday because she was very uspset about Shrub. As I walked back to the Diploma Mill, I saw Shirley sitting on one of the benches along Fort Street Mall with Nicolette. She asked me why I didn't call her back. I said that I didn't check my messages yet. She was on campus a little early, so she called to see if I wanted hang out for a bit. She ended up dropping by my 4pm class. Since my students were doing SimNet, I was able to chat. Shirley has been partying and drinking a lot more than usual. She was out in Waikiki on Halloween night with Seth and her cousin. They ended up at the Zanzabar. She was also out drinking with her cousin last night. However, she has not reconciled with stud, although she mentioned that stud is still recording her favorite show on the tube for her. Shirley's class this evening was set up for independent appointments with the instructor. So, she was going to meet Nicolette at the Mercury bar at 5pm. I met them there shortly afterward. I had one drink. Shirley went to her appointment. I chatted with Nicolette for a few minutes. She did not seem comfortable. I left after that because I had to prepare for my night class at the Asylum. I saw Shirley on the way out. She was heading back to the Mercury. She was planning to stay for more drinks until she had to go pick up Seth at work. I told Shirley that I suspect that she and Seth will hook up. She said that they were good friends, but that will never happen. Then, she said, "But, he is my back-up." They apparently have a pact in which they will hook up if they cannot find a suitable mate by a certain age. It is my guess that prophesy will become reality.
Thursday November 4
Some of the other faculty at the Asylum told me bits and pieces of what transpired at the faculty meeting yesterday. Kevin gave me the most details. Kim the Director of Education, launched into another tirade. She chastised the faculty on a number of issues. A number of faculty are becoming somewhat test during the meetings. We are being pushed into a corner. I have remained sane for some reason. The students are beginning to show signs of fatigue. The six-week sessions are too much for them. In one of my classes, four of the six students have stopped attending. In the other classes, about half of the students are doing poorly. They have no time to keep up with the material. We had warned the administration about this matter before. However, "Samhain" is the one who makes the decisions. His greed will kill the Asylum. So far, each day reveals that more of my predictions are coming true. The students in my classes at the Diploma Mill are also doing poorly. They just don't want to do any work. Through the math journals that they write, I am seeing how the blame is shifting to me. This is the sad state of our society today, which is further proof of why Shrub prevailed in the elections. I am also inclined to believe that there was some suspicious activity with the ballots in the highly contested states. It does not matter. A good portion of the population voted for someone very much like themselves. What has happened to values? Where has humility gone? Is there anyone who feels any kind of compassion? These are the questions that I ask myself every day. I become so disillusioned when I discover that there are no good people left. All that remains is myriad loud-mouthed, rude, immoral, and unethical fat slobs.
Overall, the people in this country have not taken responsibility for the bloodshed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The constant bombing alone has racked up considerable "collateral damage." Each and every one of us is responsible for this. We are murderers, and we should be held accountable. Yet, no one gives a shit. One would think that we'd be grateful and try to change our lives for the better. What I find most pathetic are the misled masses who believe that there is some kind of Divine mission at play to eradicate the infidels in the Middle East and Central Asia. Of course, this only further substantiates that we are an arrogant and self-righteous lot. I often wonder when the Almighty will finally act and cut us all down through the final act of the human race, namely Armageddon. With all of those unwitting souls crying out in pain in their last moments, why does the Creator not end this misery now?
As I count down to the Big Five-O, I am becoming quite impatient with all of the assholes and dickheads around me. I have less than a month before I turn into an old fart, a senior citizen. I will join the ranks of the abused and ignored geriatrics. My salvation may be the fact that I have not taken matters into my own hands. I have stood patiently and watched as all hell broke loose around me. I observe the rabid squirrels all trying to get a nut. I maintain a shrewd watch over my small finances. However, the latter is my only buffer to sanity. I am glad that I did not panic and react to the various external opinions given me. I continue to weigh my options and utilize my frugal ways to my advantage. I am not suffering any loss of enjoyment of my life. Material possessions do not increase that enjoyment. Freedom is the only true means to enjoy life. In my daily life, I try to incorporate Viktor Frankl's ideas. Sometimes I am weak, and I fall from grace. At other times, I do better. The real secret to survival is to remain contrarian to the mainstream. Even the Good Book offered this advice — "Go in through the narrow gate; because broad and spacious is the road leading off into destruction, and many are the ones going in through it; whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it." Heed these words, my friends.
Friday November 5
An uneventful day. I chatted with Lori on the express bus this morning. We didn't discuss anything pertinent. She said that she would be dowtown for the Art Walk this evening. I said that I wasn't sure if I was going. For the rest of the day, I went through the motions of being a pseudo-professor. I was not in a good mood today, but I kept it to myself. I restored my military haircut, I've been very fortunate to have the more experienced babes cut my hair lately. It started raining by early afternoon. Later, it was pouring. I chatted with Pseudo-professors Dorothy and Ralph, as well as Professor Gordo. I also ran into Robert on Fort Street Mall. He's planning to have an early B-day celebration next weekend. He's still thinking about the young hottie at work. I told him to make a move already. What else can he do? I did a quick workout at the gym between classes. After my last class at 5pm, I was ready to get out of Dodge. Naturally, the express bus did not show up. So, I decided to see if I could find Pseudo-professor Glenn and his wife somewhere along the Art Walk path. Earlier in the week, Pseudo-professor Glenn told me that he would be there. I found them at the Louis Pohl Gallery. In a matter of seconds, the wine was flowing like water. I was hammered in no time. The ride back to Hawai'i Kai on the street bus was long and boring. However, it was a good day after all.
To be continued ... Go to E.12
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