|LoserNet Home | Index | Previous | Next Old Man Stories and Other Strange Tales|
2001: The Viagra Years
Tuesday October 23, 2001
By ten o' clock, parts of Bethel Street had been sealed off. Numerous emergency vehicles parked haphazardly along the street. The bio-hazard team were suited and deployed. My students and I watched the debacle unfold from the fourth floor of the Asylum. Yep, ... Anthrax! Across the street, an architecture firm allegedly received a piece of powder-laced mail from Saudi Arabia. Earlier, the rumor was circulating that two large 50-pound sacks of Anthrax were found in the building. The whole place was a circus. Roach even got in the act by closing the campus early. Further down Bethel Street, I could see a cruise ship docked at the pier near the Aloha Tower. This was one of two cruise ships sitting in the harbor, awaiting some undetermined fate because the parent company went insolvent just this past weekend. At least 1,000 people found themselves instantly unemployed. Now, we have the Anthrax nonsense. I walked past the circus on my way to the gym. The media was there, no doubt excited that Hawai'i can now put itself officially on the map of "terrorist" targets.
Almost everyone believes that the al-Qa'ida is involved. Some believe that Saddam is the mastermind. I just think that the majority of the incidents are hoaxes perpetrated by sick minds. Actual incidents involving "weapons grade" Anthrax can most likely be attributed to the ultra-conservative, domestic militia groups. Any moron can see that a true "terrorist" attack is not going to involve one or two individuals here and there. They will go for maximum "collateral damage" and extreme shock value. If the "terrorists" were going to use Anthrax as a weapon of choice, it would have been dispersed full force on a large concentration of people. If these "terrorists" are laying low, they will strike at the appropriate time, probably at a huge mall the day after Thanksgiving Day, the busiest shopping day of the year. Or, maybe Superbowl Sunday. Needless to say, the fear factor has hit a fever pitch, and will be the perfect sales pitch to escalate the war into Iraq and possibly Libya.
In the meantime, the corporate media is fueling the Anthrax fire. Idiots are running amuck in search of Cipro. We must accept the fact that we are sacrificial lambs for the powers-that-be. Our own complicity through our lifestyle is obvious. We must accept the dangers in the world, just as other world citizens do. This is the causality of a world gone mad. The fools are bringing about the prophesy. The First Seal has been broken. I'll pass the time with my iBook, as I wait for the real fury of the [true] God to descend upon these clowns like a thief in the night. Thank goodness for OS X! At least my beloved iBook won't crash while the world meets its untimely demise. The new iPod by Apple was released today. I won't be be buying one.
Wednesday October 24
There were three or four Anthrax incidents yesterday. All were in the heart of downtown. All were media events. All were hoaxes. Cheap testing equipment was at the root of the problem. Nonetheless, it's just another incident to attribute to Saddam. Outside news sources have indicated a build-up of US weaponry in the Middle East in close proximity to Iraq. I ran into Pseudo-professor Chad at the university between classes. We talked briefly about world events. As he is one of the editors of the progressive Honolulu Weekly, I knew that he shared similar thoughts about the situation. It's an odd feeling to be discussing important political issues but having to look around all the while in fear of being overheard. Progressive thinking (the questioning of the status quo) is not permitted in our society anymore.
I spend most of my spare time on the Net. I search for any relevant information. Yet, I have no idea what that's worth. I spent a good portion of my time doing the same thing during the election scandal. At that time, I relied heavily on the corporate news networks. Little did I know that I was being misled then. I don't expect to return to even a moderate reliance on mainstream news. Case in point. I had some spare time so I perused the latest issue of Newsweek. In it was an article about Osama bin Laden — master media manipulator. Say what? A still from his last video transmission was displayed with arrows detailing how the rocks in the background, the wearing of the wrist watch on the right arm, his head wrap, etc. were strategically placed props which wielded an almost supernatural manipulative power. One could almost conclude that bin Laden had hired Steven Spielberg to produce the amateurish tape. Just how many special effects can be incorporated in an old gem quarry in Afghanistan? This, my friends, is propaganda perpetrated by the corporate media.
As usual, I'll spend the evening with my beloved iBook. Moms mentioned that Uncle Nobu does not have much time left. The hospital will gradually remove him from life support. Why gradually? He's already in a coma. As usual, a prolonged death increases the hospital's revenue. That was the case with pops as well. The whole world is obsessed with money. From the corporate whores to the lowly peon. Life makes no difference. It's money, wealth, and power. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Thursday October 25
There may be a few people who think that the ol' lavahead is a "commie." That can't be the case because he is a monk. Sheesh! I am not concerned about partisan politics because most of the gasbag politicians are all the same — sleazy. I am, however, concerned about the fate of humanity. I have found two interesting articles today. John Tirman wrote a piece titled, "Unintended Consequences," which provides an interesting historical primer about our involvement in the Middle East and Central Asia over the past 50 years. A gripping interview with Pakistani scholar-activist Eqbal Ahmad is in the archives of The Progressive. The interview provides an interesting prospective about the situation just after President Clinton ordered the bombing of alleged "terrorist" camps in Afghanistan. I've also read a few excerpts from Ahmed Rashid's book about the Taliban. Mind you, I am not an apologist for Saddam, bin Laden, or the Taliban. Neither do I admire the House of Saud. They are Frankensteins of our own making. The US has had a hand in elevating these despots to power, and either continues to prop them up or abandoned them entirely so they can run amuck on their own. I'm inclined to agree with Tirman in that British and US meddling in the affairs of Iran back in 1953 (i.e., the Shah) is what planted the seeds of discontent, which has become the unstable foundation for the house of cards that symbolizes the whole region today.
I have observed that my mind has been distracted lately by ... yep, you guessed it ... babes. The weakness of the flesh is once again wielding its ugly head. It does not help that I am in contact with so many young, buxom babes on a daily basis. Of course, I know that all I would want is to do da wild thing. Yep, that's it. A relationship would be the last thing on my mind. I would just do da wild thing all day, every day with one babe after another. In my mind, I was already imagining myself with a few of the babes in scenes much steamier than anything in my hurdy-gurdy DVD library. What has brought me to this level of unfettered lust? Clearly, the sinister kahuna is behind this shameless debauchery. It attempts to obfuscate the important issues in life with hedonistic distractions. Later, I will confess my actual debaucherous thoughts in the journal. Lord have mercy!
Uncle Nobu passed away last night. He was taken off of life support at 5pm and, from what I gather, he could sustain breathing on his own for only two hours. Moms and I were planning to visit the hospital on Saturday, but those plans are now moot. May he rest in peace.
Friday October 26
I was perusing the campus newspaper at the university. Someone had left it in my classroom. As I whisked through the pages, I noticed the "Students on the Mall" section with pictures of the various students who responded to the question, "What are this year's 'must have' accessories?" I then noticed that Joyce was one of the respondents. "A boyfriend. It attracts more men — they think, 'Boy, she's so unattainable,'" she was quoted as saying. A predictable response, eh? That's one thing I know about local babes — all they think about is guys. Naturally, one would assume that it is easy to find a babe here. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! Don't worry, some things never change.
I did a little more research and discovered that there are far more implications when reviewing the tragic history of Afghanistan. There is conflicting opinion about why the Soviets invaded the country, although evidence seems to point to US activities in neighboring Iran as the likely cause. The common conclusion is that Afghanistan was a pawn in the Cold War game. In the new game, we find that the Russians and the Chinese are also involved in the race to control the oil from former Soviet states such as Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. That is why the securing of "Corridor 8" is so important. That's the route detailed in the Unocal plan. However, all of that presupposes stable, Western-friendly regimes concurrent in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As the days linger on, more crap keeps surfacing. The bin Laden family in Saudi Arabia has quietly moved all holdings out of the Carlyle Group, a large military contractor composed of former CIA thugs.
As you noticed, I am not celebrating the debut of Windows XP. Heck, I am still celebrating the debut of OS X, though I have yet to install the developer tools. The computer is the focal point of my life. I spend most of my free time on the computer during the day. I am usually on the Net. Then, when I return home, I spend at least another hour or so with my beloved iBook. That's all I do. That's all I want to do. Pretty sad, eh? I am just happy to be away from the salt mines.
Saturday October 27
My bro stopped by this afternoon. Naturally, we had to partake of the Guiness. Later, we ordered a take-out pizza from Pizza Hut. I attempted to purchase the pizza with my credit card, but somehow the transaction didn't go through. My bro had to pay for it in cash. The morons at Pizza Hut were looking at me like I was trying to pass a bad credit card on them. Later, my bro and I bought another eight-pack of Guiness at Foodland. My credit card worked fine there. My bro and I have been imbibing too much as of late. I must cut back, even though we only drop 'em back on the weekend.
These are uncertain times, and most people have resorted to hedonistic abandon to compensate for daily anxieties. People are getting hammered and doin' da wild thing like there's no tomorrow. All in all, the downfall of Western society can be attributed to the automobile, the tube, and the computer. The automobile is the most idiotic consumer possession. I fail to see why we need a 3,000-pound vehicle to transport a payload that is fractionally less. The amount of resources used and the amount of pollution produced by the piece of [dung] as well as the amount of useless deaths which result from its use should be reason enough to search out alternatives. The tube is a useless piece of crap, which only serves to brainwash the masses with either subliminal messages to engage in endless consumption or with propaganda. Both the former and the latter contribute to the overall lethargy of society. Dependence, laziness, conformity, and a deadening of the senses are the result. The computer is rapidly conforming to the consumerist model as well. However, it does remain a conduit of knowledge if one chooses to use it as such.
In my research about the current world affairs, I stumbled across an article by Benjamin Barber in the Atlantic Monthly titled, "Jihad vs. McWorld." Although penned in 1992, it contains important implications for today, specifically the conflict between tribalism and globalism. The article tends to explain the current struggle in the macrocosm, but has equal validity when applied within the context of a single society or even the individual. I find that it explains my own struggle in dealing with consumption and materialism. I have done almost everything possible to steer away from prevailing consumption patterns and have also engaged in endless internal dialog about how my identity is affected. As I have chosen to become a monk, then clearly I have opted to become a fundamentalist of sorts. The alternative is not an option to me. Moderation is not possible in a materialistic world. However, the automobile and the tube were the beginning of the sedation cycle that now leaves most people's minds in a state of stupor, eager and willing for conformity. Critical thinking has been factored out of the equation. Thus, we are talking about blind conformity.
Many of us are very fortunate by virtue of where we were born. No one is "chosen" to be a winner or a loser. There are many people who are not so fortunate to even have a decent meal each day. Some of those people reside in countries we have waged war upon or are doing so now. My thinking may be wrong, but I believe that I must make a sacrifice in my own lifestyle in order to balance what happens elsewhere. If many more of us would make sacrifices concerning our so-called "conveniences," then perhaps we may move closer to world parity. Of course, that precludes the existence of selfish and greedy individuals, normally the people in power. Alas, maybe that's how we empowered them in the first place.
Sunday October 28
I almost didn't go to the gym today. I was feeling sluggish. The high cholesterol Pepperoni Pizza, breadsticks, and Buffalo Wings were oozing with saturated fat — the kind of diet (when supplemented by cheap brewskis and the tube) that is clearly responsible for the dereliction in mental capability that I witness daily. I had to muster up all my spare energy to force myself to go to the gym. We live in society that is completely saturated with crappy food, useless entertainment, and mind altering substances. All of these factors contribute to a cheapened existence that only suffices to satisfy childish desires. The only decision that most of us make is whether we can or cannot afford to buy something.
We have become extremely pliable. Just like Playdough. Look at the "war" situation and how the gasbag politicians have been pulling the wool over our eyes. Arundhati Roy makes this observation in an article titled "New World Order" in In These Times: "They are cynically doled out by government spokesmen like a daily dose of vitamins or anti-depressants. Regular medication ensures that mainland America continues to remain the enigma it has always been — a curiously insular people administered by a pathologically meddlesome, promiscuous government." The Justice Department has now indicated that the Anthrax perpetrators are most likely domestic "terrorists." Curiously, only the racist Neo-Nazi groups are being blamed. The right-wing religious militias have not been implicated. Nonetheless, Iraq will still be invaded as the "war on terrorism" matures. The oil fields in Basra will be protected at all costs, no doubt. As I said before, the whole area is a house of cards. I am terribly afraid of the consequences. Yet, I am also curious to see how fast the pipeline in Afghanistan is erected, if and when the Taliban is purged.
My bro didn't stop by today. I'm kind of thankful for that because we would have spent the afternoon drinking the rest of the Guiness from yesterday. As a monk, I need to spend much more time in solitude. I must have time to reflect and think. This benign activity is relaxing to me. I'm not sure how people can spend all of their time with every possible distraction or noise in front of them. I find a sense of purpose when I am alone in a quiet place. I am able to come to grips with the various aspects of my life, and I find that I develop a real sense of gratitude when I am able to contemplate my fortunate circumstances. I am not sure how others can survive without this kind of quality time. Perhaps that is why there are so many inconsiderate, loud-mouthed [rectums] out there, eh?
Monday October 29
Quite an uproar has been generated in the alternative media concerning the anti-terrorist (USA PATRIOT) bill which has supposedly been approved by both the House and Senate. When enacted into law, it will broaden the powers of policing agencies and reduce the rights of ordinary citizens. It appears that "probable cause" will be enough invoke the broad search and seizure actions. Although there is a "sunset" provision built in, a lot of lives can be ruined in the four years that the law is in effect.
An article by Damien Cave titled "Stuck in the Gulf" in Salon attempted to dismiss the Oil War as yet another conspiracy theory. Although he concedes Unocal's attempt to install a pipeline in Afghanistan, he concludes that there's not enough oil to make any difference. Why was Unocal even bothering then? In the end, "the US and its allies will still have to kowtow to Gulf countries, no matter how corrupt or how repressive their rulers are," he adds. That just doesn't seem to match the history of our involvement in the area. Wasn't the US involved in installing these puppets? I have observed that Salon has changed significantly since it was forced to convert most of its site to a subscriber service. It has become a sounding board for the gasbag politicians, just like the mainstream media. Everyone has a price, or so the old adage goes.
I have really lost my desire to participate as a world citizen. I am tired of all of these games, and I am even getting sicker of the struggle to survive. Work means absolutely nothing to me. The money that I'm saving will probably be devalued or worthless in a few years. People who are spending every dime they make may not be as stupid as I thought. At least they are getting some kind of interim value from their purchases. I may end up with nothing. I'm also afraid of what I'm becoming — a monastic, fundamentalist radical. I can see how powerlessness can bring about a kind of uncontrollable rage. I can hardly fathom my existence in a society comprised of fat, moronic slobs who can barely think for themselves. Knowledge is obtained exclusively through the tube with current events courtesy Jay Leno. The population is, in general, sedated and controlled. Heck, I deal with college students who absolutely refuse to read instructions longer than one sentence. I should move to an armored bunker in a desolate location and stock a lot of guns. The danger isn't abroad. It's right here in our own backyard. We are doomed.
Tuesday October 30
I am deeply embroiled in controversy again at the Asylum. At the faculty meeting today, faculty member Ken ("Mr. Quixtar") put himself on the agenda to express deep concern for a "certain faculty member" who has been allegedly criticizing the Asylum in classes and offending students. Who could that possibly be? No, not the outspoken ol' lavahead! Naturally, I tried to do damage control by approaching Roach, of course not expecting much support ever since the debacle with Toad. I suspect that the "plaintiffs" are a few of the young girls, who seem to be more concerned about getting attention from men like Ken rather than studying for class. Incidentally, I am totally convinced that Ken and Sharon ("Mrs. Quixtar") fabricated the story about their Internet interlude in order to prevent the "fraternization" policy from kicking them in the ass. I don't trust them or many other Asylum faculty because they are all doing the Dog & Pony Show act in order to keep their jobs. Ken is sleazy to begin with since he is involved with Quixtar, that shady Amway multi-level marketing scheme. I would not be surprised if he is using his classes as a platform to sell IBOs (independent business owner) in the "business," as they call it. That's a conflict of interest. I was already perturbed before I heard that crap because I was reading a copy of the article "Overwhelming Force: What happened during the final days of the Gulf War?" from The New Yorker by Seymour Hersh. It was somewhat fitting to read about the massacre of retreating Iraqis two days after an imposed cease-fire. What was even more sickening were the lies and the cover-up. Then, to find myself involved in a morass of crap is the straw that is going to break the camel's back.
I have been totally occupied with research concerning matters in the Middle East and now Afghanistan. I have never been much of a history fan, but now I find it both intriguing and nauseating. There really is no escape from the evil that men (and women) do. I may eventually have to become a militant monk. Sheesh! I believe that Hersh's article has more relevance today than ever. The increasing civilian casualties and "stray" bombs could be deliberate. The greatest outcry is now coming from the media in Britain, our co-conspiring ally. Some of the alternative media have monitored the war rhetoric and have identified key words that verify Iraq as the next certain target. What really surprises me about all of this is the sheer amount of information that has always been out there. Most of us have been too busy enjoying the decadence afforded us by capitalism that our senses and minds have been dulled to a lethargic form of complacency. As long as things are going fine for us, we don't care what happens to anybody else. If we must intrude on the freedom and lives of others in order to fuel our insatiable appetite for excess, then so be it. Feeling guilty or questioning any of that is unpatriotic. So, aside from the oil pipeline, why are we spending millions of dollars per day blowing up a bunch of rocks in Afghanistan? Why did "Mr. Quixtar" use the faculty meeting to set up my demise? The answer is simple — sleazy, self-serving [rectums]. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Wednesday October 31
Today is actually Sinister Kahuna Day, but why pay homage to the nefarious one? The world is clearly a mess. No need to celebrate a gruesome time. I decided to launch my own offensive today by spending a few minutes in each of my classes to discuss bogus Internet businesses. Naturally, I chose Quixtar as my sole example. I will be doing this in all my classes at the Asylum, and I may even print out a few articles detailing the Amway ruse. Naturally, my intended target is "Mr. Quixtar." He is proud to tell everyone that he is heavily involved in e-commerce. By shedding light on his sham operation, I'll shut the dumbass down. I have no time to play games with essentially a hand soap salesman.
Perhaps my continued investigation concerning the "war" is making me a bit edgy. I discovered another article by Seymour Hersh titled "King's Ransom: How vulnerable are the Saudi royals?" in the New Yorker archive. The House of Saud is a real house of cards. The level of corruption is beyond belief. However, Saudi Arabia is currently the largest producer of oil in the world. Although evidence mounts concerning Saudi involvement with the "terrorist" networks, nothing can be done for now. Any interruption in the Saudi oil flow will cause a dramatic increase in the price of petrol. So, how does that tie in with Afghanistan? The pieces still seem to fit the Big Oil puzzle. Add to that, the mandate from CNN chairman Wally Isaacson ordering journalists to tone down and minimize the coverage of Afghan casualties. "I want to make sure we're not used as a propaganda platform," he told the Washington Post. Couldn't we at least get some real news? Sheesh!
I am happy to return home at the end of the day. I always spend time with my beloved iBook. And, I usually sit in my favorite chair before finally retiring to bed. It's always quiet in late evening. I have a chance to reflect on the events of the day as well as many philosophical issues. I could not survive without this quiet time. Sometimes it is painful to reflect about life issues, but I prefer the pain over being sedated by the tube. That is, of course, how I came up with my offensive for "Mr. Quixtar." Booyah!
Thursday November 1
My research is taking me into periods of history that I know nothing about. I have moved my focus toward Saudi Arabia and now Iraq. I have uncovered many articles which seem to indicate that the Gulf Oil War and the economic sanctions imposed on Iraq have a much more nefarious meaning. Brian Becker pretty much summed it up in a report to the Commission of Inquiry for the International War Crimes Tribunal, stating, "That the US sought to permanently weaken or crush Iraq, as a regional power capable of asserting even a nominal challenge to US dominance over this strategic oil-rich region, fits in with a longer historical pattern. Since the discovery of vast oil deposits in the Middle East, and even earlier, the strategy of the US and other European colonial powers was to prevent the emergence of any strong nationalistic regime in the region. The US has relied on corrupted and despised hereditary monarchies and dictatorships in the Middle East. Such regimes have served as puppets for US interests in exchange for US protection." The whole scheme is part of something called the "New World Order." That's what I'll be researching next.
There are no words to describe the level of disillusionment I have been experiencing. With each passing day, I feel more like a dunce. In the quiet of the night, I express my greatest appreciation to the [true] God. I could have been born somewhere in the Middle East. That whole region has always fascinated me because it is the "Cradle of Civilization." However, today it is more like the "Playpen of Savagery." I must continue my research because I am interested in the coming fulfillment of prophesy. In both Biblical and secular history, the Middle East has been a powderkeg of conflict. It would almost be fitting if the so-called "Last Days" were to play out in the very place of our origin.
Friday November 2
I am completely fatigued after spending a whole week fretting over political misdeeds of which I have absolutely no control. I researched the term "New World Order," only to discover that there are two distinct interpretations and each is vaguely Scriptural in context. One viewpoint suggests world domination by a single entity which combines government and commerce (i.e.., "globalization") and is completely secular. The other viewpoint suggests a dominant world order by a single entity presumably directed by divinely inspired humans. Both of these ideas are ludicrous and blasphemous. Each is a rationalization of the oppression of the masses by a select few. Don't we see that already?
No matter what, I find my historical research intriguing, albeit nauseating. What is sad is that everything is buried under nationalistic propaganda. What is even worse is that money, greed, and corruption are always at the root. I have really done nothing else all week except research this crap. A stack of reports and articles is piling up. My conscience is no better off as a result.
Moms is preparing all kinds of food, so I expect that the kamado will be fired up tomorrow. The quiet of the weekend will be disturbed by at least one extended visit by my bro's family. Perhaps, I'll escape to Barnes & Noble for a few hours. Maybe a few new OS X books have arrived. The rest of the time, I'll spend vegetating in my favorite chair. The latter part of the evening is always reserved for my beloved iBook. After using crappy Windows computers all day, it sure is nice to use a real computer. Sometimes, I think that I'm wasting my life away. I should be seeking out new friends or looking for a babe. As I approach 50 years of age, the latter as well as the former become extremely difficult. I truly am a monk. I live a squalid life of near poverty for no particular reason except out of guilt, and not necessarily any guilt of my own accord. Hedonistic abandon will yield no satisfaction. I already know this without even trying. I despise excess and ignorant opulence, just as I hate the conceit which tends to accompany both. The bottom line is still spirituality. The real human experience is being able to savor every moment and ponder the implications of our existence in the grand scheme, as opposed to spending time in ignorant bliss, a drunken stupor, or in a deadened state in front of the tube. True fulfillment in life is a matter of awareness, not the accumulation of crap. A sense of worth can only derived through Maslow's "self-actualization" in contrast to mindless diversions. However, the only sensation with no substitute is da wild thing. Sheesh!
Saturday November 3
I ended up at Barnes & Noble this morning. I ran into Pseudo-professor Jim there . We spent about three hours discussing a variety of topics, so I had only about an hour to look around before I returned home. I am actually glad that I didn't have much time because I could have been tempted to buy something useless.
My bro stopped by later in the afternoon. He was working back in Kalama Valley again. Naturally, we had to drop back a few Guiness. I suppose that the day was much more enjoyable than I expected. My mood has been somewhat sour, as I described yesterday. Moms is happy to see my bro these days. I really don't engage in much conversation with moms anymore. In fact, moms tried to initiate some kind of small talk about work last night, but I merely responded with a few monosyllabic banalities. That's not exactly fair to moms. However, my life and my perception of my existence has changed drastically. I suppose that I'm not making the situation any better. Yet, I doubt that I really care one way or another.
Sunday November 4
My bro and I spent most of the evening (last night) discussing the effects of coffee and related our coffee drinking experiences. I suppose that makes for the perfect topic in these times. Contrast that to the conversation I had with Pseudo-professor Jim. In the first hour, we discussed the "war" situation. I was taken aback by his support for the "war," and also by his comments that the US should forcibly take the oil fields away through a massive military sweep. Then, he says, we will pay them a "fair" amount for the oil. I am glad that we switched topics to our plight in the education field. However, it is interesting to note that the same kind of warmongering attitude is festering in the Middle Eastern universities. Heck, many of the "villains" in this sick theater possess PhDs. Sheesh! I have decided to put all of this nonsense aside for now, and devote my pastime to benign activities more fitting of the general populace. I'll go back to contemplating the fate of the Bose Acoustic Wave and my six-four. By the way, I look upon my six-four with disdain these days. After all, my "right" to own and drive this vehicle is what the substance of the so-called "war" is about. I haven't driven my six-four in about a month, so I don't feel totally guilty. I am doing my part to conserve valuable resources.
I forced myself to go to the gym. After my workout, I felt pretty good. The amount of effort expended just to get to the gym is ludicrous. My inclination, I suppose, is to become a fat slob. Perhaps I should invest in one of those Sony wide-screen tubes. Then, I can sit around and watch the same programs that reduce most people's minds to mush.
My bro didn't stop by today. He has finally become a journeyman carpenter, but he is contemplating becoming an apprentice painter. My bro also spent about $600 on tools this week. He has made quite an investment in tools lately. He has also poured a lot of dough into his truck. My bro worries too much about his truck. He's always washing it and waxing it. He bought it to use for work, but I have no idea why he chose a white truck when he takes it to construction sites. My bro and his wife have been working on the weekends to make extra money. My bro does mostly construction side jobs, and his wife has been babysitting. I suspect that they haven't saved much money, nor are they really saving anything now. I have many reasons to be concerned because somehow this will affect me in the long haul.
I must return to the salt mines tomorrow. Although I will still be researching more crap concerning the "war," I may also begin to look at my own situation. I'm sure that I'll be able to achieve the goals of my five-year plan, but I've got to look beyond that point. What exactly am I going to do? I am going berserk in moms' house. That may be the time for me to move on as well.
Monday November 5
There are so many things that I need to do. I must buy some new shoes. I'm overdue for a dental appointment and also for my physical examination. I have to get my eyes checked. I have to sell my books and music CDs. My credit cards must be eliminated. My monk haircut needs to be restored. The list is endless, but I just don't seem to have the energy to take care of it all. What I really need to do is get rid of everything except my iBook. My six-four is costing me $600 per year while it sits in the carport. I have already proven that I don't need an automobile. Some mangy kitty has been taking a whiz regularly inside my six-four. This weekend, I discovered that kitty took a whiz on my car wash towel. Now, it has that pungent whiz odor. So, I must waste a few dollars to buy some anti-freeze. I will leave a bowl out for kitty. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
My return to the salt mines was uneventful. I was extremely groggy this morning. I could hardly even think. Lately, I have had a few strange dreams that have left me drained of energy the next morning. This is also a hectic week because I am giving exams in all of my classes at the Asylum, which means that I'll be grading them all week. Sheesh! I was surprised to see that American Century has not closed the one account that fell below the minimum as a result of the stock market crash. I have not realized the paper loss yet, thank goodness. As it stands, I'm barely going to make my savings goal at the end of the year, if at all. My hurdy-gurdy DVD library is partially to blame. Not much makes sense. I feel very transparent these days. My existence has become one-dimensional. I have no purpose. My actions have no effect. My decisions are moot. My thoughts have no meaning. I am merely a wage slave.
Tuesday November 6
I restored my monk haircut today. As usual, I went to the College of Hair Design on Hotel Street. And, as usual, I came out looking like a dork. Why can I never get a decent haircut? Perhaps the shape of the oversized cranium is not conducive to anything else but the General Noriega look. Sheesh! Laura, one of my students at the Asylum, lent me a few DVDs so I would have some entertainment. No, they are not hurdy-gurdy DVDs. Later tonight, I plan to watch Replacement Killers. Maybe a good shoot 'em up will lighten up the disposition of the oversized cranium, eh?
I've really been pondering my station in life. I can't believe that I'll be officially another year older in 23 days. What do I have to show for myself? Absolutely nothing. Would the ol' lavahead be better off if he had a babe? I doubt it. Babes are a lot of trouble. Remember what my buddy Bud told me? "They are dangerous," he warned. "Stay away from them." The only advantage in knowing babes is da wild thing. Aside from that, a guy must put up with a lot of nonsense. I deal with babes almost exclusively in my life as a pseudo-professor. Many of these babes are drop-dead gorgeous. However, I find most of them to be vain, banal, and extremely irritating after a few minutes. Guys play along, I imagine, because of da wild thing. But don't make a babe upset. All hell breaks loose. Thank goodness, I don't need to put up with that crap just for da wild thing. That's one of the best reasons to be a mendicant monk.
Here it is, November, already, and I am lamenting at the Wailing Wall over the same old crap since the inception of the journal. I am not exactly sure why I continue to write this crap. The redundant daily routine is really getting to me. It's sickening. Yet, what are the alternatives? I could join the ranks of the unemployed or the homeless. Or, I could turn into a tube-watching, fat slob. As I see it, this story is quickly unfolding to the most obvious conclusion. Militant monk? Heavily armed hermit in a secluded bunker? Fundamentalist "terrorist"? Can you guess?
Wednesday November 7
I watched Replacement Killers last night. I'm not sure why I enjoyed it. I am probably just starved for entertainment. The plot was below average, but Mira Sorvino is a real babe. In fact, I'm watching it again, as we speak , in wide-screen mode on the iBook. Are our lives so dull that we require escapes into celluloid fantasies? As mediocre as the plot was, I found myself really involved. Well, Mira Sorvino could do that to any guy, eh? Later tonight, I'll probably watch one of the other three DVDs that Laura lent me.
I'm suffering from a poverty of words this evening. I find less and less to write about concerning my own life because the routine is always the same. I live for payday, and that's still a week away. Alas, the life of a wage slave.
Thursday November 8
This was a hectic day. I have been proctoring exams all week at the Asylum, today being the last day. One of the staff from the posh new offices on the first floor came upstairs to see if I could assist her staff with a problem concerning that dreaded Access program. Needless to say, Access was not designed to be scaled for enterprise environments. I was not able to solve the problem in the time I had available, but I searched out a few tidbits in the Microscum KnowledgeBase and gave them to the "database administrator."
I had enough time to go to the gym, and I took the first express bus home. Moms, my beloved six-four, and I embarked on a journey to Mililani. We had to attend Uncle Nobu's funeral. However, the ol' lavahead couldn't find the place. I was searching all over Mililani town and I was on the verge of violence. It turns out that the address in the phone book was way off. Mililani Memorial Park was out in the middle of nowhere and closer to Waipahu. We missed the service, but we were in time for the food. My bro was already there. He was chowin' down by himself, so I joined him. I also talked with a few of the cousins and other relatives whom I haven't seen in a while. Moms had a good time. That's all that mattered.
I watched about an hour of Cast Away. So far, it's been pretty good. However, I think that I must obtain a few more DVDs with Mira Sorvino. Yowza! What a babe! I am also continuing my research. In addition to the sordid details of the "war," I am also finding as much information as possible about the election fiasco of last year. I have also discovered a very interesting article about an almost unbelievable story of how the Iranian government may have been bribed to keep the "hostages" until after the election of 1980 to insure that Jimmy Carter would not be re-elected. Almost seems unbelievable until the most current events are taken into consideration. I am finding that all of the pieces are fitting together. Yet, it seems so incredulous because it's too obvious. Who would even try to pull these kinds of stunts and get away with it? That's exactly what's happening, and I now believe that the executive order to keep all presidential records sealed is part of a massive cover-up, of which the Iran bribe is clearly a part. All events subsequent to a secret meeting in France on October 20, 1980 now make even more sense. The Iran-Contra scandal is clarified as well. I don't think that I could persuade many people about what I have learned. I'm not going to try. However, I do urge everyone to look elsewhere to find some semblance of the truth. Much of what I have read and discussed previously is now finally trickling into conventional media circles.
Friday November 9
I finished watching Cast Away last night. I was extremely groggy all day as a result of staying up so late last night. I could hardly wait to exit the salt mines. Monday is a holiday, so I am looking forward to a long rest. I am not certain about what to write in the journal. I am only looking forward to my next paycheck and that's a week away. I am beyond the point of disillusionment, what with all the research I've been doing. Life has become even more unidimensional. I do not have a sense of security, and I'm not talking about Anthrax. I am fortunate to be spared the savagery that many people of the world are victims of. Yet, I foresee a time where there will be a great desolation that will spare no one. I'm not even alluding to the Apocalypse. Rather, the greed and corruption of the powers-that-be will not stop at reducing all of us to paupers. We will be robbed of our meager assets and we will be forced to toil in squalor just to survive, much like the homeless do today. We will be stripped of our dignity and our will to live, and herded into areas which will turn into mass graves. Only the "chosen" will survive to inherit the earth, or so they perceive. The scheme is several degenerate steps above ethnic cleansing, and will be certain to invoke the Divine wrath of the the [true] God as foretold in the Prophesy.
I am not sure why human beings have resigned themselves to this form of misery. The "chosen" are still shackled to the same afflictions as the poor and the destitute. They may live a comfortable life in the interim but, in the end, many will end up writhing in pain until they take their last breath of air. The misery of the human existence cannot be cured by wealth and power. The foolish vanity of the few cause the undue suffering of the masses. When will they ever learn? I can only prepare and adjust for the coming of the New World Order Crusade. It has already commenced.
At times I wonder whether the decision to become a monk was a worthy endeavor or just an act of desperation. I often notice the numbness of singularity and roteness of being. I can only liken my existence to a transistor locked in quiescent state. No signal, just noise. A very low, steady-state noise. Of course, it would be nice if Mira Sorvino dropped by and demanded the ol' lavahead to service her immediate needs. Better yet, how about Brianna Banks? Lord have mercy. Alas, a babe would only rob me blind. My meager savings would be spent in a matter of minutes and baby would be history. I know the treachery of babes all too well. So, why do I keep revisiting this same old haunt?
Saturday November 10
I stayed up pretty late last night because I was viewing Shrek. I have to admit that it was very entertaining. However, I must view Replacement Killers sometime before I return the DVDs to Laura because of ... well, Mira Sorvino. I was extremely groggy this morning. I have noticed that most people in da 'hood are gone on Saturday. I suspect that they are working. That's the epitome of wage slavery. With so much uncertainty about employment, people are trying to earn as much as they can. Others are working additional hours to support an inflated lifestyle that is obviously beyond their means. If I were anything but a monk, I would probably be working 24/7. Involvement with babes would seal that fate. Babes are expensive, but the cost is offset by the regular availability of da wild thing. That's why babes need guys. In addition to their own earnings, they also exhaust about 50 percent of the guys' earnings in order to support their lifestyle and consumption habits. That's primarily why babes who are financially secure are often not concerned about "relationships." Babes who live a "hand-to-mouth" existence seem desperate to "hook up." Of course, since they are not from pedigree stock, they attach themselves to losers in the same caste. There is no way to engage in hypergamy unless a babe has access to exclusive (read: affluent) social circles.
I spent most of the day lapsing in and out of a coma while sitting in my favorite chair. My bro did not visit, which is okay, since I really didn't want to drop back any brewskis. I ate all kinds of crummy food instead. I'm certain that my cholesterol level is in the danger zone. I spent some of my non-comatose time mapping out my short-term strategy. Same old stuff. Terminate credit cards. Get rid of more junk. Say, anybody need a copy of the Apple OS X upgrade? How about a Bose Acoustic Wave? I finally broke down and bought two new pairs of dress socks. However, I can't seem to find a cheap pair of sneakers. Oh well. I have no "big ticket" items to purchase next year. My hurdy-gurdy DVD library may require a few more additions. The iBook has been such a good computer that I am not even thinking about the Titanium PowerBook anymore. I've been using Netscape 6.2 exclusively, and the journal is composed in Composer. Strange how we've come around full circle.
Well, I'm going to spend the evening relaxing with my beloved iBook. What am I talking about? That's what I do every evening. Sheesh! I will see if I can find a few image files of Mira Sorvino. Then, I read the latest news from alternative sources. I may even check out the Bose site to see if anything is new. Naturally, I'll read the Apple forums. What a life I'm living!
Sunday November 11
I spoke too soon. My bro stopped by at 8 o' clock. He had gotten off work much earlier and stayed for an extended Pau Hana Time. He said that he was droppin' back a few cheap brewskis, which was evidenced by the Bud Light can he had when he arrived. Needless to say, my bro and I talked until about 11 o' clock. I gave him my extra copy of the OS X upgrade. So, I once again stayed up much later than expected. I searched for Mira Sorvino images on the Net. Damned pop-up windows were driving me nuts, so I gave up.
I also checked out Mike Ruppert's and Al Martin's sites. Some of Al's tidbits from his primary source, the "friendly colonel," are hilarious in a dark way. If any of the accounts are indeed true, which I suspect they are, then crap has been going down for a long time. While most of us have been sitting around and chokin' da chicken, the moneychangers and the power-that-be have been wreaking havoc on the world. The worst part is that they've been using our tax dollars for their own ends. I'm getting a better perspective of the arms trade, a huge business that respects no boundaries. Dinero is all that matters. Aside from oil production and the illegal drug trade, arms trading is probably the largest wholesale business in the world. And, it was around before "globalization" became popular. Oil, drugs, and weapons are what the world's economies are based upon. The rest of the capital markets would collapse without these huge, albeit clandestine, transactions. Some may say that I've lost my mind. A closer look at the old Iran-Contra scandal will reveal that it's just the tip of the iceberg. Since most of us know so little about that and other scandalous events and we really don't care, then it's easy to see how the problem has mushroomed into a frenetic situation. The lies, the deception, the cover-up with stories that makes no sense will only fly if the general populace is well sedated. The truth is buried, and those who may attempt to reveal it are easily cast aside as crackpots.
Moms and I drove over to Long's in Kuapa Kai. Moms bought a lot of stuff. I simply purchased a gallon of Prestone Antifreeze and another 4-pack of Guiness. Upon returning home, I immediately put two small bowls of antifreeze in my beloved six-four. I neglected to mention that moms and I were able to enjoy the pungent order of kitty whiz both to and from Uncle Nobu's funeral service in Mililani. That's why I spent seven dollars on a nice treat for kitty. I even placed my car wash towel, which also smells like whiz, near one bowl of antifreeze. I hope that kitty slurps it all up. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
My bro stopped by about six o' clock. He just purchased an inexpensive table saw at Home Depot. We spent the rest of the evening talking again. I had one can of Guiness. My bro dropped back four cans. I want to cut back on my consumption of fire water. The long visits by my bro are leaving me very little quiet time. While I enjoy my renewed relationship with my bro, I also need time for myself. My bro will be stopping by again tomorrow. He will be working in Kalama Valley. I have the day off. I went to the gym this afternoon, and I may go there again tomorrow. Then, back to the salt mines!
To be continued ... Go to V.17
© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved.