Wednesday October 1, 1997
Did you get your copy of Internet Explorer (IE)
4.0? I didn't, thank goodness! However, I needed information off of the
Microsoft site. Naturally, with all the downloading activity, I was not
able to connect. I officially have only three more months of employment
remaining. After this past week, I'm not sure about remaining in the computer
field. I will have to take the cop recruitment a little more seriously.
Yet, do I really want to be a cop? When I see all of these losers acting
up, I am assured that someone needs to handle the administration of justice.
That someone is the ol' lavahead, of course! I won't have much choice because
I am falling way behind in knowledge insofar as computers are concerned.
Take a good look at LoserNet. If this site were to serve as my on-line
résumé, I can be certain that I will remain unemployed for
a long time. I have been reading a lot of material about the future of
the Net. The technological aspects are somewhat fascinating. However, the
commercial influence that fuels the technology is also what is killing
off the old fossils like LoserNet. If we cannot produce ActiveX and Java
applets, we will perish. The Net has been promoted as the new tube. People
want their Web-TV. Put a book and the tube next to a typical lolo.
Which one will the lolo pick? Heck, I'd pick the tube myself. Sheesh!
Thursday October 2
Baby and I met at Kahala Mall after work. We went
to Barnes & Noble even though our last visit was less than memorable.
We drank coffee and perused the latest periodicals. I was not very excited
about reading the latest computer nerd magazines. After we finished with
our coffee drinks, we decided to walk around the mall before we took the
bus home. I have been in a blasé mood these past few days, so maybe
it is time to check in with my virtual homeys. Kevin (firstname.lastname@example.org)
has moved out to mid-West and has started his new job. Alan (email@example.com)
wrote, "You have an obligation to continue to keep setting the tone of
losing style for all of us, until you are a toothless old grandfather
mumbling in the corner of the kitchen (behind the stove, of course) that
your sons make you live in." Thanks also to Jim (JDenney@lnc.com)
and all the regulars for writing in! As you probably know, it takes me
several days to respond, so keep those cards and letters coming in!
Friday October 3
The situation at work continues to baffle me.
My intranet project remains at a standstill. I am waiting for the new Windows
NT server to be set up. I discussed the matter with the system administrator
for the NT server. However, she disclosed to me that the real administrator
is the boss. He, unfortunately, was too busy setting up his new computer.
We had a staff meeting yesterday and I addressed my concerns. There was
a moment of silence after I delivered my schpiel. We can only guess what
that meant. So, I decided to download the IE 4.0 package. With my alleged
28.8Kbps connection, that could take at least eight hours. With the congestion
on the Net, who could say? I am only downloading that particular browser
because I am hoping that the final version is more stable than the beta
version that is on my work computer now. Paul told me that the boss has
a T-1 connection to the computer in his office. Yes, you heard right ...
the T-1 serves just one computer. The rest of us in the building share
a Shiva modem pool that rarely connects beyond 24Kbps. Now, I'm no system
administrator but I believe that the T-1 could pretty much serve all the
users with so-called bandwidth to spare. Aww krunk, what do I know? Well,
that pretty much explains why Paul has been checking the Dilbert Zone
Saturday October 4
It pretty much rained all day. There were a variety
of accidents on the road as traffic was heavy. People seem compelled to
drive when it rains. It was pouring when I returned home. I was soaking
wet when I reached the house. The stupid part is that I had my umbrella
in hand. Somehow, brain donor that I am, I thought I could make it home
comfortably dry without having to open my umbrella. Baby and I decided
to stay in for the evening. After the week I had, I may want to check back
into the Roach Motel.
Moms went out for most of the morning. My bro
went to his carpentry class. He is usually gone for the day although his
class ends at noon. My sister-in-law and my nephew were home watching the
tube. She made a variety of long distance calls, too. And, after an hour
of coaxing, my sister-in-law finally persuaded her son to go somewhere.
Moms returned at noon. I decided that I would help moms with the laundry
and other tasks. Moms wasn't sure if she wanted to go shopping at Koko
Marina. If she decided to go, I wanted to be here to go along with her
and help her carry the groceries. My sister-in-law returned about two hours
later. She had gone to both Taco Bell and Micky Dee's to buy the kid's
meals with the toys inside for her son. She probably spent $6 on that junk.
The rest of the afternoon for my sister-in-law consisted of a combination
of lying on the couch and watching the tube and taking a nap while the
tube baby-sat her son. At about 1pm, it was time for her to turn the air conditioner
on and take a nap on the floor. In the meantime, moms did four loads of
laundry. One load was my nephew's clothes alone. Mind you, this was just
three days of clothes. My sister-in-law changes her son's clothes at least
three times a day, mostlikely because the little whizzer takes a whiz in
his pants. I helped moms hang up and take down the clothes from the clothes
line outside. Moms also tries to conserve water by recycling the rinse
water from the washing machine. She usually scoops the water up with a
bucket from the sink. As you know, water weighs quite a bit. Today, I helped
her scoop the water. After the laundry was done, moms started on dinner.
My sister-in-law and nephew were still passed out in the air conditioned
Sunday October 5
Baby and I went to the gym before dinner. We returned
in time for dinner. We were planning on going to Kahala Mall but we changed
our minds and stayed in. We went for a walk to Koko Marina and called it
a night. I was pretty tired from helping moms and I didn't do that much.
By the way, I forgot to mention that my sister-in-law has found another
job. She will be starting her new job next week. My sister-in-law apparently
called everyone (long distance) to tell them the good news. The punchline
... she may be making more dough than the ol' lavahead. Sheesh! What is
sad is that she neglected to tell moms. Now, what could be the reason for
leaving moms in the dark? Could it be that she doesn't want to pay more
The doctor at the clinic called with the results
of my cholesterol test. My cholesterol level is at 240, which is fairly
high. After eating Bush's baked beans everyday, this is what I get? Sheesh!
I tested the same about five years ago. Now, I'm not a doctor but I am
beginning to wonder if the King "Don't let the smooth taste fool ya!" Cobra
years have finally caught up with me. The liver is directly responsible
for cholesterol levels. I can only wonder if I have permanent liver damage.
Monday October 6
Baby and I went to Ala Moana in the afternoon.
Baby bought a few more outfits from Woolworth's since everything in stock
is now 60 percent off. Baby and I had yet another misunderstanding. We
have had several incidents in the last few weeks although I have neglected
to mention them. Both of us have been on the edge. The adjustment process
has been long and arduous, and we have both gone through many disappointments.
Baby is cramped in my room with all of her worldly possessions, and I am
living in the "warehouse." In fact, this will be my fifth month in the
"warehouse." Fortunately, I have gotten used to sleeping on the couch.
The tension has permeated throughout the whole household. My bro lost it
and yelled at moms tonight. First, he told her to shut up. Then, he admonished
her for "talking down to us." The "us" my bro was referring to was him and
his wife. Apparently, they feel that moms is giving baby and I preferential
treatment. That is not true. However, moms is more comfortable talking
to us because we don't treat her like a slave in her own house. As far
as baby and I are concerned, we will work things out. We did go to the
gym for a short workout. After dinner, we went for a couple of short walks
before we called it a day.
The network was down several times today at work.
The boss has recruited an old buddy of his to help troubleshoot the network.
According to Paul, they have been using an illegal copy of a LAN monitor
to try to track the problem. Evidentally, there have been a lot of packet
errors and data congestion. Somehow the staff has come to the conclusion
that there are several bad multi-terminal access units (MAU), which are
basically LAN hubs for token-ring systems. The whole problem began over
a week ago when the Motorola crew came in to change the UPS backup batteries.
One of the guys allegedly turned the main power switch off by mistake and
turned it back on immediately, which was what supposedly caused a massive
power surge that has now affected the whole network. That is the story
being told in company circles because the department wants to charge Motorola
for the total cost of repairs.
Tuesday October 7
I don't normally like to post personal e-mail but
this particular note struck a chord in the ol' lavahead. It touched upon
some questions that have been reverberating throughout the deep recesses
of the oversized cranium for several weeks. My virtual homey Duke (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"When I first started reading, I was perplexed. 'What the hell is this
guy doing?' I asked, meaning you, the author. Of course, before long, I
found myself laughing quite frequently at the exquisite use of ceaseless,
battering-ram repetition. Yes, occasionally there is the jolt out of nowhere,
but mostly you built your humor like a house: first the foundation bricks,
then those same identical bricks for the supports, the walls, the roof
. . . until finally the sheer ridiculousness of the chimney in the same
bricks just kills you, in a funny way. Maybe not the best metaphor, but
what do you expect from someone who could possibly be interest in an idea
like 'The Loser That Lives Upstairs?'
This journey that we have taken together on the Net
has been a unique experience. I think that LoserNet has gone through thousands
of readers. Many people hated LoserNet, whereas some people have stayed
on the LoserNet bandwagon for the nearly three years it has been in existence.
Strange, isn't it? I have gone through several phases of life during those
years ... the same phases that most people will go through or already have
gone through. I have to agree with Duke in that I feel as though I sometimes
am writing a very rote journal about a very mundane life. The focus of
the journals has become blurry. However, it is still about real life. Recently,
I have stepped into a mundane existence and joined the faceless crowds
of business commuters. I have learned to blend in. LoserNet has paralleled
that course in order to maintain the realism of this existence. I don't
think that LoserNet will resort to any trickery or hype. It will stand
on its own as it always has. I will add that I am very to happy to have
acquired a solid readership of great people who have done much to help
me learn and grow through their comments and feedback. Thanks Duke, and
thanks again to all my virtual homeys worldwide! Finally, many thanks to
Kate (email@example.com) who wrote, "Good luck keeping it together
for all of us whose lost lives you're keeping!"
"Well, I enjoyed the next episode just as much. It was the perfect antidote.
Of course, I, like everyone else, was wondering from at least the halfway
point in Loser who the loser actually was. I mean, what kind of guy would
actually monitor a loser in such infinite detail? Was it really on the
up and up, or were you some sort of genius characterist who had created
this amazingly quirky persona from seemingly nowhere. I mean, has anyone
ever met a person like the narrator of Loser?
"It seems that your 'Net' has evolved (or should I say changed?) over
the years to become, as you now put it, a journal. I think that's a step
in the wrong direction. It seemed, to me, the success of the past installments
hinged on their focus. Their unrelenting focus: the Loser, the Virgin.
Now it's just what happens day to day, a fragmented thing. There was a
time when that day to day stuff was savored by your readers (maybe I shouldn't
generalize -- savored by me) because it was a little nugget of a clue about
this enigmatic, obsessive character, in the midst of an enigmatic, obsessive
examination of Loserhood or Virginity or whatever.
"I have to brake hard right here to say it's still entertaining as all
hell. But I think that some of the 'excitement' of those old subjects is
gone. For instance, I have no doubt you could mine to hilarious effect
the daily trials of wage slavery. Or the BS of your home life. But when
it's all together, it's just a diary. You're a great writer, so it still
works, but not with the same high, true pitch. Maybe you're just better
adjusted these days, instead of being maniacally focused on a single, fine-point
"I really have no right to say all this. Hell, you might just drop LoserNet
off the face of the 'Net. I'm sure that sometimes it's no cakewalk doing
this day after day, every day. But I'm glad you do. I root for you. I'd
love to see you come suddenly into significant money, say, the significant
money it would take to pay off that lifetime loan.
"Lastly, a little while back, you wrote:
'LoserNet is lost in obscurity as there is no way it can compete with
all of the megabuck Flash-enabled sites out in Web world ...' etc.
"I don't agree. Sure, there's a flood of new people to the Web who want
that flashy crap, Web-TV, etc. But don't ever lose sight of the fact that
LoserNet is unique, and well-done. And that will never be out of demand.
If it's good, people -- some people -- will find it. I guess it comes down
to your hopes for LoserNet, and your reason for doing it. If you're trying
to figure out a way to twist it into some money making endeavor, I could
understand your discouragement -- Where do you go from here? But in the
end, quality is its own reward. It will be the quality of it that eventually
makes you money, if that is to be. And anyway, knowing what I know of you,
I don't know how satisfied you'd be if you made money off it just because
it had some cool Java applets.
"Just keep writing, if that's what you like to do. And I'll keep reading."
Today was one of those days that I actually looked
forward to riding the bus through Kalihi in the afternoon. Actually, I
just wanted to get home after another day of wage slavery. The LAN monitor
took a backseat to IE 4.0 today. The boss installed the browser and has
been raving about it all day. He has been showing it to everyone although
I have had the preview release on my computer for two months. I installed
the new version on my computer since the CD was floating around the office.
All the new computers have been installed and the old ones have been boxed
up. From what I understood, those computers were to be distributed elsewhere
immediately. Four days later, they are still sitting on the floor next
to the laser printer. I only mention this trivia because I had asked if
there was another computer that I could use to set up a temporary server
just so I could install some mission-critical components. Obviously, I
was going nowhere. So, you see, I actually welcomed the garlic-laddened
aroma of Kim Chee as my bus inched its way through Kalihi. At least I knew
I was going somewhere ... I was going home.
Wednesday October 8
In keeping with yesterday's theme, Alan (firstname.lastname@example.org)
wrote, "There is always going to be a margin of acceptance in the collective
mind for the well-written site, just as some discerning people even today
stick to reading books and rarely watch TV or movies." That is true. I
remember when I put the first photo in these journals a few months ago.
I debated the pros and cons for a long time, but I gave in to the status
quo. I am planning on adding more photos and putting some of them in
the earlier installments. I think LoserNet will continue to change but
it will be at a slow pace and only for the purpose of adding to the cumulative
losing pleasure of LoserNet. Sheesh!
I spent all day at work living up to the lyrics
of that Clint Black song, Killing Time is Killing Me. Work is merely
some kind of slow torture. The boss spent all day setting up his
new computer. He couldn't connect his scanner because he only had
Windows 95 drivers for it. So, he was going to uninstall Windows NT workstation
and put Windows 95 on it. Why not just download the new drivers from the
Net? He also acquired a SCSI card for his new rewritable CD-ROM
drive and scanner. Why do these peripherals need a $300 SCSI card? And,
why are the only rewritable CD-ROM drive and scanner in the boss' office
for his exclusive use? You know, I ran into a similar situation at my old
job. It was worse there, though. The equipment wasn't tagged with any identification
numbers, so guess what happened? Yep, several pieces of equipment just
"disappeared." Sheesh! I really wanted to take a break and go to Barnes
& Noble after work. Baby finally called me when I was already halfway
home on the express bus. So, today was essentially the same as every other
day. I've only done this routine for three months but I'm ready to go ballistic.
I leave at six o' clock in the morning. I do the Clint Black thing at work.
I spend three hours commuting. When all is said and done, I have a couple
of hours of free time to listen to my Bose Wave radio over the whining
of my nephew or to work on my computer. Then, I do it all over again the
next day. I beg the Almighty to make the weekends come quickly or put me
out of my misery. This is the life everyone has been drooling about since
the old school days. It's a small sacrifice for all the dough rolling in,
they say. I don't see the dough. What isn't deducted for taxes will be
applied to my dreadful loan. Yes, I truly am a wage slave and I'm savoring
each and every minute!
Thursday October 9
Every morning, the bus to Kalihi from downtown
has a ridership that includes a variety of Farrington High School students.
Farrington serves most of the Kalihi and Liliha area. I noticed that most
of the kids are dressed like they are from Oaktown or Compton (da real
'hoods). When I was a kid, things were different. We mostly dressed in casual
Aloha fashions. Today, the only people dressed in Aloha fashions are the
"shirts", as I call them. The "shirts" are equivalent of the
urban business types on the mainland ... the "suits". I am one of
the "shirts". Sheesh! Most of the kids have color-coordinated pagers,
too. Last night, moms was relating some of her experiences as a child to
baby and I. Moms' family was very poor. She was the second oldest of nine
children. My grandparents were immigrants to Hawai'i. They lived in Pahoa,
a small town on the Big Island. Pahoa no longer exists. It was a casualty
of one of the earlier lava flows of the Kilau'ea volcano. Moms didn't own
any footwear until she was about six years old. She had to go barefoot
during that time. Moms was not able to go beyond sixth grade because there
was no other schools close by. My grandmother passed away while attempting
to give birth to a tenth child. Moms helped my grandfather raise the family
when Uncle Mike (her brother) had moved to Hilo to go to school. Uncle
Mike worked very hard to pay for his education. He ended up being the only
one of the siblings to go to college. Moms eventually moved to Hilo. She
worked and learned the sewing trade. Eventually she started up her own
sewing shop but disaster struck. She contracted tuberculosis and spent
several years in the hospital. Moms had a rough life as did so many others
in those days. It is sad to see how each successive generation has become
more indifferent to the past. The generation of old was happy to get a
pair of slippers. The generation of new is not satisfied unless it has
maintained the superficial status quo. At times, I wondered where
I developed a lot of my quirky behavior especially my desire to remain
mendicant. I think I have the answer.
Friday October 10
Should I even discuss my day of wage slavery?
If you read the last three month's worth of stuff, you will probably have
gotten a good idea of what I mean by "routine." I have begun to download
the FreeBSD operating system at work. FreeBSD is a Unix clone as is Linux.
I don't know why I'm doing that since I don't have a computer to install
it on. I will put the whole operating system on floppy disks. From what
I can tell, it will take about 30 or more disks. Sheesh! Paul told me that
the boss just discovered that some of the in-house applications will not
run on Windows NT. Why not switch back to Windows 95? The Dilbert Zone
answer from our boss was ... "We can't do that."
Saturday October 11
We have had flash flood warnings in effect for
the whole island since yesterday. The big rainfall didn't start until I
returned home from the gym. Actually, it started raining while I was at
the gym. I was fortunate to make it home while there was a break in the
weather. When the rain finally started, it was terrible. I looked out the
window and it looked like the house was in the middle of a massive waterfall.
My poor six-four was deluged with water. I have long since removed the
plastic that was substituting for my windows. I am sure that there will
be a huge lake inside my six-four tomorrow. Ho boy! Finally, many thanks
to Robert (e-mail withheld) and MJ (email@example.com) for
writing in! Robert has been a virtual homey for about three years although
I was not aware of that until now. Also, The Chicken Guy (firstname.lastname@example.org)
has resurfaced from Chicken Central after a short hiatus from the Net.
I got up at 5:30 this morning. That's another
benefit of wage slavery, I guess. I don't have to worry about oversleeping.
My bro left for his carpentry class about an hour later. Since everyone
else except moms was still sleeping, I took that opportunity to listen
to my Bose Wave radio and relax. My relaxation was short-lived. I happened
to notice a scratch on the front bezel of my beloved Bose radio. I asked
moms about it and she didn't know anything. Baby and I went to Ala Moana.
We were gone all day. When we came back, I noticed that several of my things
were in a state of disarray in my so-called room (the "warehouse"). I also
noticed that the little silk cover (that baby had given me) on my Bose
Wave radio was askew and the remote control was out of place. Once again
I asked moms about it. She said that my nephew was running amuck earlier
in the "warehouse." I can only surmise that he was running around and hitting
everything with his "fishing pole," a crappy piece of bamboo that he seems
to cherish and use to destroy things.
Sunday October 12
The atmosphere in the house seemed tense when we
came home. I asked moms if there was an incident while baby and I were
gone. She said that she was just tired and her back was aching because
she had to do the usual four loads of laundry. She wanted to do the laundry
tomorrow but my sister-in-law wanted the laundry, particularly the little
whizzer's clothes, done today. Moms had several buckets full of the little
whizzer's underwear soaking in bleach because they smelled like urine.
My sister-in-law has gotten very good at getting things done her way. She
started up a load of wash, knowing full well that moms would finish the
wash. It's a clever plan. Moms likes to do the laundry her way, so all
my sister-in-law needed to do was to start the wash and intentionally screw
up. Moms would then intervene and complete the task. In the end, my sister-in-law
could justify her actions by saying, "Well, I tried to do the wash ...
blah, blah." Of course, this plan works for almost everything. So, in a
way, she has moms trained like a dog.
Have you heard that song, Return of the Mack,
by Mark Morrison? I have my own version called, Return of the Mac-10.
Just kidding! The storm has finally passed, although it did not rain much
yesterday given the menacing skies. We are back to sunny and hot weather.
Actually, it was extremely hot and humid during the storm. That's the good
part about living in Hawai'i. Bad weather is not that bad. I was still
in a bad way because of the mysterious scratch on my Bose radio. Moms told
me that I should not have bought such an expensive radio. Although I can
understand what moms meant, I cannot assume the fault for the scratch just
because I bought a decent radio. I didn't leave it lying on the floor in
the hall. This is a blameless and irresponsible society. If I accidentally
drove my six-four into your new Lexus because I was trying to brush my
teeth and drive at the same time, could I assume that it was your fault
for buying such an expensive car?
Discoverer's Day 1997
Yesterday, I happened to find an old consolidated
bank statement while I was sorting the recycling stuff. It was the joint
account for my bro and sister-in-law. Baby and I perused it and discovered
some interesting things. My sister-in-law had automatic payroll deposits
and, from what I could tell, she made about $1,000 net per month after
taxes. The payments for the Jeep Grand Cherokee were $550 per month. There
was $8,000 left to pay off. So, they should be paying it off this year.
My sister-in-law maintained a Christmas club account which amounted to
about $500 for the year. What was most shocking was that she was writing
checks for $40 or more per day. So, her savings and checking account balances
were averaging close to nothing. Essentially, she spent every dime she
made. My bro apparently maintains a separate bank account in his own name.
I have no idea whether he is saving anything or not. His paychecks were
not accounted for in their joint summary. I only bring this up (although
the legality is questionable) because my sister-in-law had once told moms
that she made more money than my bro. Moms sincerely believes that they
have been saving money for the last eight years and will eventually move
out on their own. If you have just done the arithmetic like we did, you
probably have come to same conclusion that we did.
Baby and I spent most of the day on the bus just
to go to K-Mart. I ended up buying a tube of toothpaste and a disposable
camera. Why, pray tell, did we foolishly go all the way to K-Mart just
to buy things that we could get at Long's in Kuapa Kai? I don't know. The
time and aggravation spent did little to offset the 50 cents in savings.
That is what happens when one becomes an urban clone. Ala Moana, Kahala
Mall and K-Mart. Night (and day) of the Living Idiots.
The only thing I discovered is that work is no
holiday. Sheesh! I finally got to install the applications for the intranet
project. However, some portions did not install properly. Then, I discovered
that I was not able to log on to the new server from my computer. I then
discovered a few more things like the new and old server are both on the
LAN with the same IP address, the same domain and the same DNS block. This
is not a standard configuration. No one seemed to have an answer concerning
this oddity. Everyone else could log on to the two servers just fine ...
everyone, that is, except Paul and I. Does the fact that everyone (except
Paul and I) is on the new 100Base-T Ethernet suggest a clue? I left work
early because I arrived a little earlier than usual this morning. I ended
up waiting downtown for the same express bus that I normally take. Oh brother.
Baby had the day off. She ended up helping moms clean out the cupboards
instead of going to the beach. There was stuff in there with freshness
dates that expired three years ago. It's not moms' fault. My sister-in-law
buys junk food in quantity ... potato chips, tortilla chips, Pop Tarts,
Oreos, Chips Ahoy, snack crackers, you name it ... and she literally dumps
them in the cupboard. Moms ran out of space to put the real food, so she
has been leaving them on the floor in shopping bags in the "warehouse."
It really is pathetic. Finally, many thanks to Kevin (email@example.com)
who wrote, "Your site is outrageous ... I can't believe the amount of effort
that has gone into it, even though it is all worthless ... Quit
acting like life is hopeless. Enjoy your surroundings. See the beauty in
life, and in women."
Tuesday October 14
Well, let us continue with this worthless
site now, shall we? The new Windows NT server was the focal point at work.
Apparently, someone discovered that the dual servers with identical IP
addresses was not going to work. I downloaded a demo version of Net Medic,
although I needed a real medic. I also did more research on Linux and FreeBSD.
I also continued downloading FreeBSD files. With each passing day, I am
becoming more and more mentally fatigued. When I arrived back at home,
I noticed that I received a little gift from Microsoft ... a free CD-ROM
with IE 4.0 (the buggy preview release) on it. Kick a man when he's down!
Wednesday October 15
I happened to be sorting through the recycling
again when I discovered my sister-in-law's old timecards. Apparently, she
was an hourly employee as I suspected. I also discovered paperwork for
childcare subsidies. Apparently, my bro and sister-in-law have not been
paying $500 per month for childcare. Someone else is paying. So, what are
they doing with the dough? The whole situation is fishy. You know, when
baby was working as a "temp," she was paid $9 per hour at a few of her
assignments. My sister-in-law made some comment like, "Is that all
you're making? Even the 'temps' at my office make $17 per hour." Yeah,
I was looking forward to going to Barnes &
Noble after work today. In fact, that is the only activity that breaks
up my monotonous week as a wage zombie. I got there at 4:40pm and waited
around until baby arrived at six o' clock. We went to Long's first. After
that, we walked to Barnes & Noble. All of the tables and chairs in
the café were taken, mostly by students. Hardly anyone was drinking
coffee. I guess the café has become a library. We left Barnes
& Noble since there was not much we could do. I was a little perturbed.
So, as a consolation, I listened to my Bose Wave radio and relaxed for
the rest of the evening. The station I have been listening to has been
gradually changing its format. There is an increasing amount of da man's
music. The only other station left that I can tolerate is I-94, although
I cannot receive it in stereo. The transmitter is located on the other
side of the island. I may have to fork out some dough and buy one of those
amplified antenna systems. Maybe I could use a splitter and plug the amplified
antenna simultaneously into the oversized cranium and see if I can increase
my brain power while I listen to the radio.
Thursday October 16
The problem with the Windows NT server was finally
solved, although no one was exactly sure what the solution was. I managed
to do two weeks of work in about three hours. I am still a week behind
schedule, but I should be caught up by tomorrow. Well, hey! I'm a computer
nerd! Both Paul and I were extremely busy today. The boss, however, was
busy calling around to find a new cellular phone provider. He left the
office shortly afterward. Then, I noticed Paul playing Windows Solitaire.
I can't blame him. The boss came back with his new phone. Within minutes,
he was calling his new cell phone provider because he somehow disabled
a few of the functions on his phone. Sheesh!
Friday October 17
I finally called and made an appointment with the
eye clinic. My vision has gotten a little blurry since I started my current
job. Staring at the computer screen all day has finally taken its toll
on my eyes. I never experienced this problem when I worked exclusively
with my beloved notebook computer. I also cannot focus on anything within
arm's length unless I take my Coke-bottle glasses off. Sheesh!
Baby and I have been going to the gym almost every
day. I cannot believe how much I have atrophied. And, I have gotten weaker.
I have noticed that I have become somewhat flabby in certain areas ...
a common computer nerd affliction. I try to do about 30 minutes on the
Stairmaster at a moderate pace daily. I am usually extremely winded after
that. What has happened to me? I mean, I'm no Lee Haney but, let's face
it, I need to get into some kind of shape soon, given my high cholesterol
I spent most of day attempting to incorporate
the intranet applications into the main intranet Web. However, I was thwarted
at every turn. Three of the applications are protected by password entry.
The documentation does not include any of the passwords. Paul spent a good
portion of the day downloading (in background mode) a virtual reality plug-in
for his browser so he could view the virtual reality stuff on the Dilbert
Zone site. Well, that's the latest wage slave update!
Saturday October 18
We had a pleasant surprise this evening. Annie
called to say hello to baby and I. She and baby talked for quite a while.
Babes seem to like to do that kind stuff. I decided to take the night off
from the gym and relax. I have to take the cop psychological exams tomorrow.
I had to drive my six-four to the gas station to put gas in the tank and
put air in the one rear tire that has a slow leak. Baby went along with
me. We ended up driving to Kahala Mall. We had enough time to check out
the Radio Shack store to see if there were any FM antenna amplifiers. Why
Radio Shack? Well, that's about the only electronics store in Hawai'i.
I looked like a psycho because I had to carry my license plate around the
mall with me. I have not changed my expired Cali plates yet, and I did
not want to leave the license plate in my six-four since it has no windows.
Maybe I should just make it my new keychain.
I got up early and left for Waipahu at 6:30 in
the morning. I overestimated the time as I arrived at Ke Kula Maka'i (Honolulu
Police Academy) 20 minutes early. There were a lot of people already waiting.
As I stood in line, I was privy to listen to conversations about some of
the recruits' homeys, many of whom are awaiting incarceration. After the
initial registration, we were divided into four groups. Each group met
in separate classrooms. The first three hours of the session covered the
detailed instructions to fill in the background information sheets. We
have to fill in the blanks with various details about our life since birth.
This is necessary for the background check. We must complete the cumbersome
forms and return them in person next week. We were warned that we would
have to wait in line between one to three hours. Then, someone will go
over the forms with us prior to notarization. Several people expressed
concerns about how they could not take that much time off work. In effect,
the reply we were given implied that we would find a way if we were serious
about becoming cops. We also have to disclose all of our past and present
criminal activities. From some of the questions that were asked by the
recruits, one could easily deduce that many of them have a checkered past.
Since we have to take a polygraph test later in the recruitment phase,
we must disclose even the tiniest details. For that matter, all of us have
committed crimes against society at one time or another. Where does one
draw the line?
Sunday October 19
The psychological tests were no surprise to me.
They were a battery of standardized tests similar to Dr.
Psycho's PsychoInventory, only significantly more laborious. I was
able to detect the internal validity questions as well as the questions
for the usual pychopathology indices. Psychological inventories are a little
scary because they are loosely based on the MMPI (Minnesota Multi-Phasic
Personality Inventory). The MMPI has a significant database of psychological
profiles, primarily composed of institutionalized psychos. At this point,
I'm not sure if I want to continue in the cop recruitment process. There
will probably be another six-months of screening through the background
check and interviews ... all of that just to make less dough than I make
now. I just may continue as a computer nerd.
Baby and I went to the gym for a quick workout.
After dinner, we took the bus to Kahala Mall. It was nice to ride the bus
again. I could not handle my day of driving. I just don't find any enjoyment
in traffic. I bought another pair of duffer pants at Liberty House. If
I want to remain a computer nerd, I will need to augment my wardrobe with
more officewear. We went to Barnes & Noble after that. Miraculously,
we were able to find a table and enjoy a nice evening of coffee and magazine
Baby and I went to Ala Moana. The place was packed
with people because of the sidewalk sale. We had our usual iced coffee
drinks at Gloria Jean's and we ate lunch at Shirokiya. We also did a little
shopping. I can only take so much of that zoo before I start feeling anxious,
so we took the bus to the University district. I had to make some copies
for moms at Kinko's, and I also scanned in a few photos. When we returned
home, we walked to Kuapa Kai to do more shopping. Of course, I should mention
that baby and I don't spend much money when we go shopping. A shopping
spree for us usually amounts to a grand total of $15 or less.
Monday October 20
I tried to open the scanned photos in LView and
all I got was an error message. I could not crop or recompress the files.
So, I wasted about 40 minutes of my access time to download Wang Imaging.
I used it to try to open the images files and got another error message.
Apparently, Photoshop compresses Jpeg files in a manner not supported by
most of the cheap (read: free) graphics programs. Can you believe that?
Incidentally, Allison (firstname.lastname@example.org) wrote to inform me that
the competitor has called it quits. I verified this information while I
was downloading Wang Imaging. Whassup wi' dat? I read the last few entries
of the competitor's journal aloud to baby. It was hard to believe that
I will never be doing that again. So many things change so quickly, yet
only the foolish nonsense seem to remain the same. Let us please share
a moment of silence.
managed to salvage the scans by importing them into Paint Shop Pro at work.
This is an unbelievable graphics program, considering that it is shareware.
I also managed to get quite a bit done at work today. I could hardly wait
to get home and put the new photos up on the LoserNet site. The photo at
the right is of moms and baby at Foodland. They are checking out the fresh
fish selection. I added two other photos to previous chapters. Eventually,
I want to include at least one photo per chapter. Unfortunately, I have
no photos of Loser. Sheesh! That's okay, though. He might sue me and retain
control of the enormous LoserNet empire. Move over, Bill Gates ... LoserNet
is here! Sheesh! Baby wasn't feeling too well tonight. She came home with
an upset stomach. I think that a lot of it has to do with stress. Between
the nonsense at work and trying to find a place to rent, baby has been
truly tested. Baby's daughter will be here in a couple of weeks, too. Moms
took baby's temperature. It was normal. After dinner and a shower, baby
felt much better.
Tuesday October 21
I installed the virtual reality (VR) viewer that
Paul downloaded on my computer at work. I then downloaded the Dilbert
Zone VR animation called Deprivation Chamber. I had a lot of
fun with it. Dilbert walks on-screen and his cubicle appears from above,
falling into place. He ends up sitting at his desk in the cubicle. This
is what wage slavery does to the mind. The mind just goes to mush.
Wednesday October 22
I want to thank Professor ShoeString (email@example.com)
and Kirk (Kirk_Blum@ccm.fm.intel.com) for the great advice on how
to solve my dilemma with the scanned photos. On the topic of photos, Web
journals and the competitor, Allison (firstname.lastname@example.org) wrote:
"your competitor is not writing his journal anymore. his journal is/was
fundamentally different than yours. i think you can continue on a long
basis, whereas i was not surprised that he had to quit. maintaining your
anonymity and the privacy of your readers is a good self/preservation tactic.
on the subject of pictures, don't add anymore. you describe things well
enough that we don't need them. or at least don't put pictures of people.
there is no need. when you add pictures of people compete with links you
add a voyeuristic touch to the narrative structure that i think could backfire
on you. by remaining anon, you fictionalize your story in the minds of
your readers. it has a cool effect, you are not inaccessible, but because
you remain invisible, you remain the author, which is as it should be.
[your competitor] lost control as author by including all this stuff. he
couldn't reveal things, he would forshadow heavily, admit he lied, edit
his narrative, reveal things months after they happened. all of which create
new difficulties in and of themselves. he started the journal to learn
how to be a writer, and in the end was controlled by the journal (or rather
its readership). i think all of this really broke him. don't let it break
That is very true, and it was something that I had
debated internally for a week before including the photo of Kevin (email@example.com),
baby and I in an earlier chapter. In fact, baby presented the same arguments
to me that Allison did. Somehow, I was convinced that a text-only site
was passé. However, photos are like home videos ... oftentimes they
are only interesting to the people who took them. Thanks Allison!
Today was payday, but sometimes I just don't get
paid enough for the crap I have to tolerate. I have had a lot of trouble
with the intranet applications that I downloaded. Three out of five are
not working at all. The main application that I was counting on took an
hour to install. Since I do not have administrator priviledges, I had to
be assisted by the system administrator. When I finally finished with the
installation, I found that the Java applet did not function. So far, I
have found nothing that can enable Internet Explorer (the boss' choice,
not mine) to easily upload files from client to server. The boss wants
a zero-administration intranet. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! I had to attend a
meeting to discuss the ultimate turnover of the intranet to two designees.
Everyone was critical of my intranet project. The boss seemed disappointed
in the project. I wanted to burst out laughing. I mean, what exactly is
coming out of the other side of the office? Paul made that point earlier
and it has stuck in my mind. I mentioned that I was having trouble with
a few of the applications, but I was working on them. One was an on-line
training management program. The boss told me to scrap it because he already
has a similar application that was designed in-house. Never mind that it
is a DOS application that has not even been ported to Windows yet. When
I came home, I was too tired to even go to the gym. Becoming a cop is sounding
better all the time. However, I have not even begun to fill out all of
the paperwork which is due this Friday.
Thursday October 23
Baby was not in a good mood either. Work, or should
I say wage slavery, has not been a bed of roses for her either. Baby works
in an office of duffers, and she finds that she must do most of the work
while everyone else plays Windows Solitaire. There is not much that she
can do until she finds another job. This is what is known as "paying one's
dues." I'd like to pay those dues with an Uzi!
I spent most of my day revamping my own intranet
applications. I redesigned the opening pages to follow the same theme of
the applications that I installed. Now it has more of an integrated and
professional look. I still haven't solved the file upload problem, though.
I'm not sure if anything can be done about that problem. We also had a
belated Bosses' Day celebration. Bosses' Day was last week. The staff wanted
schmooze the boss. So, for $6.40, we each got a bento lunch and
some cake. We used the empty boxes from the new computers as our tables.
Lunch lasted for a couple of hours. Paul and I were a little eager to get
back to work since we have a lot to do yet. The staff is essentially a
good crew. They mean well. They just lack direction. Well, hey! Welcome
to the Dilbert Zone!
Friday October 24
I still have not filled in the paperwork to become
a cop. It looks like I will have to withdraw my application. I just hope
that I can continue working as a computer nerd. Finally, JonnyX (firstname.lastname@example.org)
wrote, "And what about da Pidgin lesson for today? Here's one for
ya, perhaps YOU should consider taking up this line of work, it pays better
... the word is pakalolo ..." I believe that he meant pakalolo
farming or pakalolo retailing. Does it pay better than being a computer
nerd? Well, yes.
How about that Microsoft, huh? Bill Gates is making
himself out to be the Saddam Hussein of the corporate world. Fortunately
for the ol' lavahead, Bill has no plans to assimilate LoserNet. Sheesh!
I continued plodding along at work on my pathetic intranet project. The
boss spent a good portion of the day dubbing CDs with his new rewritable
CD-ROM drive. After Paul heard the tunes eminating from the boss' office,
he decided that it was time to play Tetris. I defragmented my hard drive.
Sheesh! The deadline for the cop paperwork was at 2:45 this afternoon.
I was busily engaged in wage slavery at the time. It looks like I will
not become a cop. No Dirty Kimo. No Kimo-therapy. Just more Dilbert
Saturday October 25
By Friday, I am almost always a basket case. I
am so mentally fatigued. I have been going to the gym almost every day,
though. I only have about an hour to work out because I want to get home
in time for dinner. Baby comes home an hour later than I do, so she arrives
at the gym when I am just leaving. I am looking forward to this weekend.
I'm planning to lapse into a coma. Many thanks to my international virtual
homeys Rafael (email@example.com) and N. Spaceman (firstname.lastname@example.org)
for writing in! Also, I have learned that Duke (email@example.com)
and I share the same birthday.
I erupted in a tirade this morning. Unfortunately,
baby was the recipient of this pathetic display of idiocy. It was a classic
situation of lack of communication between guys and babes. Rather than
speak out on what she really wanted to say, baby skirted the discussion
with cryptic inferences and then attempted to turn the tables on me when
I did not comprehend what she meant to say. Overall, I think that the stress
is just getting to both of us. We have several different (as well as common)
obstacles that are vastly impeding our quality of life. We live modestly,
yet we are being pushed further into our respective corners. Sometimes,
we mistakedly identify the other as the enemy. Sometimes in the battleground
of life, it is hard for us to determine where the allied lines are drawn.
Sunday October 26
Baby had to go to work to make up for the mistaken
holiday time on Discoverer's Day. That gave us some time apart that sufficed
as a moratorium on the stupidity. I spent most of my day reading. I also
spent some time in quiet anxiety over my loan situation. Remember that
nasty ol' loan? Baby returned at about 2 o' clock. We walked down to Koko
Marina with moms to do some grocery shopping. We helped moms carry back
the groceries. Baby went to the gym. I stayed home because I just wasn't
in the mood to go to the gym. I was "in a funk," as Steph would say. Baby
and I went for a walk later in the evening. We had a chance to talk over
the situation and work things out. The neighborhood kitties were all out,
seemingly waiting for us to come and pet them. That provided a little relief
to the tension of the day. Maybe it's time for me to get a fat kitty for
Sundays are becoming our official errand days.
Baby and I left this morning to go shopping at K-Mart. We needed a few
personal supplies. Moms also wanted me to pick up a set of frying pans
for her that were on sale. It took us over an hour to get there, but it
was worth the trip. Both baby and I saved a considerable amount of money
on the items we bought. Unfortunately, I was not able to buy the frying
pans for moms because there were none in stock. The sale just started this
morning. Whassup wi' dat? We walked back through Chinatown and stopped
in several stores. Then, we took a bus to Ala Moana. We ate lunch at Patty's
Chinese Kitchen, had our usual iced coffee drinks at Gloria Jean's and
did a little more shopping. We also walked to the Radio Shack store. I
was able to find the powered FM antenna. However, I didn't buy it. We returned
home around dinner. Moms had just started cooking. So, we caught a bus
to Kahala Mall. I wanted to exchange my duffer pants for a smaller size
at Liberty House. I also wanted to exchange a pair of slippers that moms
bought for a smaller size at Long's. And, I wanted to buy the powered FM
antenna. Well, the mall closed at 6 o' clock since it was Sunday. Long's
and Star Market were the only stores open. I could not find the slippers
in a smaller size so I got a refund. Since we had a little time before
the next bus, we went to Star Market. Baby noticed that the same slippers
were on sale for the same price. So, the trip was not a total loss.
Monday October 27
Earlier this week, I realized that my loans are
once again coming due. My six-month reprieve comes to an end on November
14th. I will apply most of the money I have saved so far to the loan principal.
That will amount to about $8,100 or so. Then, I will be totally broke.
My loans payments will remain at $420 per month, or so I've been told.
Does that make sense? I will be trying to get another six-month reprieve
in the meantime.
I was supposed to begin the training sessions
with the two designees who will inherit the intranet project. They did
not seem overly interested. So, I continued my research concerning the
file upload problem I have experienced with the IE 4.0 browser. I found
a company that sells an add-on which enables the file upload capability
in IE. There was an interesting note about IE concerning its deviation
from the RFC specification. I believe that I have officially verified the
problem. After work, I stopped in at the Radio Shack store downtown to
check on the amplified FM antenna. The same antenna I saw at the Ala Moana
Radio Shack was $10 more at the downtown branch. Who do these clowns think
they are? Microsoft? Anyway, that left a bad taste in my mouth. I'll just
live with the crummy reception.
Tuesday October 28
I spent the evening writing and printing out letters
to employment agencies. I also had to compose a letter to the DMV in Cali.
I received a statement billing me for late car registration fees amounting
to $178. My six-four is registered in Hawai'i now. Whassup wi' dat? If
it isn't one thing, then it's another. I also have to send out at least
six employment queries by tomorrow at the latest. These are the requirements
that I need to fulfill to qualify for another reprieve from my loans. Is
there no end to this madness?
I had a nice day until my ride home on the bus.
The trip through Kalihi took over 30 minutes. There was an old guy sitting
next to me. He was coughing for most of the time. When we finally arrived
in Chinatown, I and everyone on the bus was privy to view some old guy
draining the lizard out on the sidewalk. In fact, everyone in Chinatown
was watching him. I missed my usual express bus, so I had to wait for the
next one. I was exhausted when I finally arrived home. I decided to call
it a day. Many thanks to Sam (firstname.lastname@example.org), who wrote in and
mentioned a little problem with the LoserNet site ... part of The Keeper's
pages were missing! Sheesh!
Wednesday October 29
I was having a nice day until one of the designees
(to inherit the intranet project) came to visit me in my deprivation chamber
(read: office cubicle). The putz wanted to discuss the intranet project.
His discussion was basically a long rant. He criticized my project, calling
most of it useless. He decided that a meeting with the boss tomorrow would
be in order because I have clearly missed the objectives of the project
as was it detailed to me. At one point, the putz had his head buried in
his hands to show me the extreme amount of grief that he was going through.
I should have taken advantage of that opportunity to kick him in the groin
as hard as possible. All this from an idiot who is the so-called webmaster
of the company's Internet site. The site is maintained by a minimum of
two people. The programming expertise is handled by the putz. The graphics
are done by a full-time graphic designer. And, the putz stole the only
Thursday October 30
I met baby downtown after work. I was too fatigued
by the putz's crap to go home. We went to Ala Moana since there seemed
to be no buses destined for Kahala Mall. We had our usual iced coffee drinks,
and then we walked around for a while. There weren't too many people milling
about, so it was an enjoyble evening. We took the bus to Kahala Mall. Baby
had to buy some apples for moms at Star Market. I bought the cheapest antenna
amplifier I could find at Radio Shack.
Pontus the Putz was true to his word and called
the meeting this morning. He and the other designee of the intranet project
presented their case against me to the boss. In the end, the boss decided
that the intranet will need to be redesigned. He wants consistency. He
also wants it to be kept simple. Yet, in another breath, he wants to see
everything database-driven. He wants all of the HTML to be generated on-the-fly
by an SQL database. Say what? He also wants to see dynamic HTML, cascading
style sheets, and channel technology incorporated in the intranet, but
keep it simple! To show you what kind of nut he is ... he wants
to put a Visual Basic front-end on the Web. Say what? He was also babbling
something about screen dumps. Next, he'll want me to put a DOS prompt on
one of the Web pages. Sheesh! Pontus the Putz looked a little pale after
hearing all of that. Now, he will have to put his money where his mouth
is. He may actually have to do some work. He could have avoided this nonsense
if he hadn't gone crying to the boss like some kind of spineless worm.
All he probably wanted was for me to acknowledge his superior intelligence.
Superior to what? A piece of dung?
Sinister Kahuna Day 1997
As you probably know, I work for the company that
manages the city's bus system. Paul discovered three boxes yesterday. Each
contained a copy of Visual Studio Enterprise upgrade edition, which costs
about $1,000 each. The department has bought a lot of nice computer equipment
and it has invested heavily in expensive development software. Yet, who
in the staff knows what to do with it? Pontus the Putz? Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
Give me a break! The equipment was funded by a government grant. I overheard
the boss telling one of his cronies to purchase anything just to spend
the money. Otherwise, the money would have to be returned. Do you wonder
why your taxes are so high? I set up my new antenna amplifier and attached
one of those cheap dipole antennas to it. I have the antenna hanging over
my clothes that are hanging off a stack of boxes in the "warehouse." I
can receive I-94 in stereo now. I am thankful for the little things that
The sinister kahuna already struck yesterday,
though. Today was an extremely quiet day at work. I did not even see or
hear from Pontus the Putz. Is he busy working on the new intranet design?
Nah! We are supposed to be collaborating on a new design which is due next
Friday at our next meeting. I started working on the project using Visual
InterDev. I will be attempting to use Active Server Pages (ASP). By the
way, Pontus the Putz has been talking about ASP since day one. He has yet
to develop anything that works using ASP. I noticed that he had a project
on the intranet server. I used Notepad to view the files. He downloaded
a few ASP pages from the Microsoft site, but none worked. Can you guess
why? Putz has been talking about Visual Basic (VB) since day one. Have
we seen any VB applications come out of the putz's deprivation chamber?
Hell no! Well, at least I know that everyone showed up in their Halloween
costumes today. They were masquerading as computer professionals. Sheesh!
When I returned home, I was extremely fatigued. This has been a long week.
I spent the evening in the "warehouse" and listened to my beloved Bose
Wave radio. What a way to end the month, huh? Well, hey! I'm an unexciting
More Junk Stuff:
Hele on, braddah! Hele on, braddah! Those
were the lyrics for theme song of Lippy Espinda's Pidgin English Theater.
It might as well be the theme song for LoserNet. Let's hele on to
November now, shall we?
The Keeper of Lost Lives: Stop This Island ... I Wanna Get Off!
The Keeper of Lost Lives ... Tralfaz
Moms ... Herself
Baby ... Herself
© Copyright 1997 by The Keeper of Lost Lives
LoserNettm Love It, or Lose It.