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Return of the    Stoneface Mack

From wage slavery to the Ninja Turds, life has continued to move in a circuitous fashion that leads to nowhere. Can a new computer placate The Keeper? Or, is he about ready to make his debut on America's Most Wanted?

I was frantically trying to put something together because I was already two days late with the debut of yet another chapter in the life of the ol' lavahead. And, Lord knows how many weeks I am behind with e-mail. Since I have been working on proofing the entire contents of LoserNet, I have lost track of the present. I found myself immersed in the events that have transpired over the (almost) three years that The Keeper has been on the Web. I always start off each season with a bit of diatribe. This time, I am at a loss for words. Perhaps it is because I am a wage slave. Or, perhaps I am just growing more weary. Web journals come and go, as we have seen with the recent demise of the competitor's journal. A journal may just be a substitute for something else in a person's life. When that part which is missing is finally found, the journal may go to the wayside. LoserNet will always be foremost in importance to me. It has been the cornerstone of my life. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I don't mean to imply that I live for LoserNet. However, I think that if you read these countless volumes of nonsense, you will know what I mean.

Computer by day. Computer by night. Oddly, I have not been working on my new computer. I have gotten used to the Netscape editor and my new computer does not have anything like it yet. However, it looks like baby will be inheriting my old computer sans modem until I can afford to buy one of those overpriced 56kbps jobs. The countdown begins for my last month of wage slavery. I have yet to work on my résumé. I have no employment queries in the works. I am merely working on proofing the contents of LoserNet. Sometimes I can see why I end up in the predicaments that I do. Maybe I am the sinister kahuna. I probably used voodoo on myself and can't remember that I did.

I may have gotten a little carried away with adding graphics to LoserNet. I do everything possible to reduce the file size. However, one needs to ask ... are they really necessary? I can't say that I am putting everything together as slick as a graphics artist would. Actually, the whole mess looks like a scrapbook. Who knows ... maybe I'll remove all of that stuff when I proof the entire contents for the third time. The only thing I'm wondering about is why I am still finding spelling errors.

I am spending a lot of time at work debugging my scripts. The real problem is that I am using both Visual Basic (VB) script and JavaScript. I use VB on the server side and JavaScript on the client side. For the most part, both languages work well together. However, Web design is not an exact science. It is not quite like programming in a standard computer language because much of it is platform-dependent. I am not exactly sure if I can finish the intranet project before the month is over. And, I'm not sure what the boss will do about this situation. Perhaps Pontus can take over where I leave off. After all, this is the way he wanted it.

The weather has been a little screwy around here. According to Paul, there is a major tropical disturbance about 1,000 miles south of Hawai'i. It has been extremely windy here with continued rain showers. The ambient temperature has dropped significantly, making me out to be a liar. I have told everyone that it is always hot here. The storm is moving further south, so we are looking forward to better weather soon. You know that I've run out of material when I talk about the weather. Sheesh!

The proofing continues ... I have spent every night working on the contents of LoserNet. I have no idea why I am doing this. I could rant and rave about wage slavery I suppose. In fact, I should mention that things continue to slide downhill at work. Paul was supposed to be teaching PowerBuilder to two people (who were to be the designees of future PowerBuilder projects). However, there was so much resistance that the classes were called off. Paul has nothing to do now. He has been continuing to improve upon his one-and-only completed PowerBuilder project. He fears that it will end up in the toilet anyway since there were so many problems in attempting to install it on the Windows NT workstations. I have continued to debug the scripts that have been increasing in complexity with each passing day.

Baby got a lead on another house in Hawai'i Kai. She met with the rental agent after work. The house apparently needs a lot of work, but it has been the only listing to appear in some time. Baby expressed her interest in renting the place nonetheless. Time is running out. Baby's daughter will be here in less than one month. The house is about a five-minute walk from moms' place, which makes it very convenient for baby to visit. Anyway, she will find out tomorrow whether she has the place or not.

We had our monthly meeting at work today. It lasted over an hour. Ironically, not much of substance was discussed. As I had suspected, no one has even bothered to look at the intranet project. Toward the end of the month, I will hear the whines of several dissatisfied fools. Of course, it will be too late to do anything because I will no longer be working there. I have designed a site to the specifications that I was given. However, they seem to believe that it will be easy to add new features as well as graphics to a (near) zero-administration site after the fact. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! I have spent most of my time writing Visual Basic and JavaScript routines such that the pages look more like high-level source code. Oh well, what do I know?

Baby got a call from the rental agent. It looks like she will be able to rent the place she looked at yesterday. The earliest that she can move in will be this coming Saturday. She will be meeting with the rental agent tomorrow after work to finalize the arrangement. She will not be locked into a long-term lease, but she was promised that the rent would stay the same for at least one year. Before I forget, I should thank Annabelle (annabell@pjmi.knaw.nl) for the virtual flower bouquet and also Richie (richpat@nbnet.nb.ca) for writing in! Yes, I know that I am backlogged insofar as e-mail replies are concerned. I hope to be caught up once I finish proofing LoserNet sometime this weekend.

Payday
Friday December 5

Today was payday. I have only two more paychecks left before my return to the nebulous world of the unemployed. And, what a world that is! The boss was busy calling his own cell phone number to see if his voice mail worked. Later, I heard him mention something about King Cobra. My ears perked up. Well, hey! Don't let the smooth taste fool ya! Actually, he was talking about some golf thing. I realized that when Paul mentioned that he saw the boss running around earlier with a golf club in hand. I pieced it all together when I remembered that I got all kinds of golf sites when I used "King Cobra" in a query via several Web search engines. I waited over 20 minutes for a bus after work. Traffic was extremely heavy and all the buses were tied up somewhere. A bus finally came by. It took over 30 minutes to reach downtown mainly because there were so many people waiting for the bus along the "milk run." Since it was almost five o' clock, I decided to stop in at baby's office. We took the express bus home. Baby met with the realtor at her new home to finalize the rental agreement. She will be able to move stuff in starting tomorrow.

I walked with baby to her new place. It is just a few blocks away in the next subdivision. It's actually a fairly decent place, especially being over 30 years old. It needs a little work. Baby will be spending the rest of the month cleaning and painting her place. The owners will reimburse her for the work. We walked to the library after that so I could donate a few nerd magazines. We also checked out the crafts fair that was in progress at Koko Marina. My bro returned home right after his carpentry class. The Ninja Turds meandered around until two o' clock. Then, the whole family went to Chuck E. Cheese Pizza for my nephew's B-day party. Whoopee. While they were gone, I helped baby move a few boxes to her new place with my beloved six-four. After we finished moving the boxes, we took moms over to see the new place.

Later in the afternoon, I discovered that my loan deferment application was returned. I filled in the form properly, but it was still rejected. I will begin my payments this week. I was really fatigued after reading that nonsense. I also received a form from my car insurance carrier. I may have to cancel my current policy and reapply (with the same firm) to qualify for a discount. Say what? Baby and I also had a long discussion with moms this afternoon. Apparently, my bro has been doing a lot of complaining lately, mostly about baby and I. Moms said that he confronted her the other day to find out when baby and I were moving out. He has been pressuring moms to kick us out of the house. Moms refused and told him that if he didn't like that, he should move. My bro told her that the only way he'll move is if moms gives him back the money he has paid in rent for the last eight years. Can you believe that? He also told moms that she should support him once he is laid off from his current job. Moms is finally becoming concerned about the situation because it is affecting her health. I think that her only option is to enforce a rent increase up to the average for the area (about $1,300 per month) and initiate eviction proceedings if they refuse. Moms needs to force them out.

I took baby to Assaggio's for dinner to celebrate her B-day. I can't say that I was in festive mood given the latest circumstances with my loans as well as with the Ninja Turds. It was a nice dinner nonetheless. Before leaving for Assaggio's, I pondered my current situation. I wondered why the same things seem to happen to me over and over again. I'm not one to get much of a break in life. The loan situation is a case in point. Didn't we see this same scenario six months ago? Earlier this morning, I was discussing the loan situation with baby. It doesn't matter that I paid off almost half of my loans in six months. I paid $19,000 and I am basically broke now since I bought a new computer. My prior payments mean nothing to the loan people. If I screw up and miss a payment, I will be penalized. My interest rate will climb two percentage points and my credit will be intentionally ruined. If that happens, I will ask myself why I even bothered to pay any of it off. I guess these are the rules of life that I must live by. All that and now I have to put with that crap being dished out by the Ninja Turds.

My homey Rod called today. He has moved back to Cali after a short stint in North Carolina. Things aren't going quite so smooth for him. He actually returned in October to attend a wedding and never went back to NC. He tried to get his old job back in Convalescent City. No dice. I enjoyed talking with Rod. I kind of knew that he was going to call since we share the same B-day. I forgot to mention that Caroll sent me a postcard from Italy. That's right ... Italy. I have not talked with her yet, but it seems that she must have made it out of her last predicament unscathed. I am dying to hear the details. Big John sent a B-day card, which served to remind me that I am very late with my correspondences including e-mail. My apologies to all. I hope to have those out before the weekend is over now that I am done with the proofing of the entire contents of LoserNet. Sheesh!

Baby and I took the bus to the Ward Center. I had to go to Computer City to pick up another rewritable CD-ROM and a game joystick. These were rebate items, so the end purchase price will essentially be free. Now, I know that we are all wondering why I got the joystick. No, I'm not plugging it into the new computer. I will explain shortly. Baby bought a new computer case for my new beloved computer. It is identical to the old case for the old beloved computer except that it is gray instead of black. Baby had to meet a friend at the airport. Her friend was flying in from the mainland and making a two-hour stopover in Honolulu before continuing to Kauai. I went over to the Ala Wai yacht harbor to visit Paul on his boat, the Romany Star. We spent the afternoon doing the nerd thing ... copying stuff onto CD-ROMs. His wife Barbara came back shortly, and we spent a pleasant afternoon talking. During the course of the conversation, we began discussing our employment experiences here. Barbara has encountered the same kind of nonsense that Paul and I have been going through. She seems to think that it's the Hawai'ian way. Both Paul and Barbara believe that the high cost of living in Hawai'i is not just a matter of shipping ... it is also due to the amortization of long-term inefficiencies in how businesses are run. More and more, I am inclined to agree. Paul bought a Dilbert calendar for the grab-bag gift extravaganza at our upcoming office party. That is why I got the joystick. Sheesh! Both of us are not very excited about the office party, but we know that not attending the party will be politically detrimental for us. I was supposed to meet baby at Ala Mo's at 6pm. Somehow, our wires got crossed and we never met. I waited until 7 o' clock before taking a variety of buses to reach home. Baby was already home. I was a little perturbed that she did not call me on my beloved cell phone and tell me what was what.

I didn't get much sleep last night as a result of the anxiety that the loan people have created for me. I called the loan people to find out why my paperwork was rejected. I was told that I did not fill in the form correctly. I followed the instructions carefully. I had to provide a list of contact names of potential employers I had contacted. Since many did not have names listed, I used the approved substitution ... Personnel Department. Unfortunately, the rules changed on me upon review. My arguments did not matter, so I had to send a check to the loan people. My payment period has begun, and I have no dough. Isn't it great how life works? I tried to contact the employers of which I had no contact names. I was able to obtain a few with the exception of Burger King. The individual I talked to was obstinate and rude. I should have placed an order for a Whopper, my way. That would have mummified the conversation. The whole situation left me fatigued.

I went to the gym for very short workout. Then, I came back and started working on both my beloved computers once again. I tried to uninstall Internet Explorer that is pre-loaded on my new computer, which basically was a nightmare. Many of the files had to be deleted manually. I have also begun the process of migrating my files over to my new computer. However, I am still composing the journal on the old computer. I have not transferred any of my e-mail to the new computer, so there will be more delays. LoserNet is in a state of disarray.

I am glad that I will soon be emancipated from wage slavery. This afternoon, Pontus the Putz dropped in my deprivation chamber (read: cubicle) with another co-worker. I was told that she would be inheriting the intranet. Apparently, Pontus and the other designee are just too busy with a host of other programming tasks or so they claim. In addition to learning Active Server Pages (ASP) and two scripting languages, this poor babe will also be learning Visual Basic and PowerBuilder. That is the price one has to pay for being the low man on the totem pole, as it were. The only thing that torques my jaw about the whole situation is the fact that Pontus the Putz was responsible for the scrapping of the original intranet project in favor of using ASP. Now, when the going gets tough, the putz gets going. What a true loser! And, exactly what is he busy with? The putz and another co-worker are sweating it out because they have a presentation on Thursday of another DOS application that they have failed to upgrade to the liking of the users. So, Pontus the Putz is brushing up on his excuses. The punch line is that the upgrades were not implemented because the application will soon be ported for Windows NT. Oh brother ... like the Visual Basic stuff is rolling out the door right and left! Those poor users could be waiting for a long time. Making excuses for the inability to perform seems to be primary job description that these fools have in common.

Paul leaves work earlier than I do because he comes in earlier. So, I told him about the latest fiasco concerning the intranet. He felt sorry for the new designee. I spent the afternoon training the new designee but it is a classic case of too little, too late. There is no way that I will be able to show her how to use Visual InterDev as well as teach her how to program in VBScript and JavaScript. Essentially, I am wasting a good part of my day that would be best spent finishing the intranet project. Since I have to devote all that time to a lost cause, I am certain that I will not finish the project. I have been set up to fail. Then, when I am gone, I will be blamed for everything. The same thing has happened to Paul with his PowerBuilder project. The boss rarely looks me in the eye anymore. I am certain that he knows that I am on to him. There is only so much of this ohana crap I can tolerate. Maybe I have been away from Hawai'i too long. I am now a stranger in my own homeland.

I met baby downtown after work. We took the bus to Kahala Mall and spent an enjoyable evening at Barnes & Noble. I read the usual computer magazines, although I am getting a little tired of them. I think I am beginning to overdose on this computer nonsense. I am spending far too much time with the damned computers both at work and at home. LoserNet is still in a state of disarray. However, I am finally using my new computer to perform the administrative tasks. Now, if only I could figure out how to migrate my old e-mail files over to new computer ...

I finally decommissioned my old computer today. That signals the end of yet another era. My beloved computer has been with me for the last two years. It had been on the journey with me from Convalescent City in Cali to Oregon and finally to Hawai'i. It has served me well. I had thought about selling it, but I have decided to keep it in the LoserNet family.

I continued training the new designee. I am not too concerned anymore about whether I finish the project or not. The new designee is confident that she will be able to continue with the intranet project once I leave. I could hardly wait for pau hana time. By the way, that's Hawai'ian for the end of the work day. I was extremely fatigued but I enjoyed the ride from Kalihi to downtown. I realized that I would be making this trip for only two more weeks. In a way, I'll miss it ... the "milk run" and all the passengers with Kim Chee breath. I like riding the bus because I have time to contemplate life. I actually come up with some stuff to write about, but I forget it all by the time I reach home. Soon, I'll have nothing to write about. Sheesh!

The boss spent a few hours on the phone trying to scrape up some dough to pay off a few creditors. He also called his insurance company about his wife's coverage. He was making idle threats to the representative about the havoc he could wreak if, Heaven forbid, his wife's policy was to lapse because of some incompetent idiot. Oh brother. The other former designee told me that it was the boss who decided to pull him and Pontus off of the intranet project and that the whole thing came as a complete surprise to both of them. Yeah, right. The boss has not made a single definitive decision since I've been there. I think we all know that Pontus the Putz was instrumental in choreographing the whole affair. Fortunately, today was also the big end-of-the-year company party. There was a lot of food and good Hawai'ian entertainment. The whole affair lasted from 10 o' clock to 4 o' clock. Paul and I only took a break to get some lunch. The food was excellent. I was so full that I wanted to lapse into a coma. I decided to call off my afternoon training session with the new designee of the intranet. Instead, I continued my own work on the project.

After work, I went downtown to meet baby. We took the bus to Ala Mo's so baby could do some shopping. As usual, the place was crowded. However, it was nicer than our only other option which was to go home. Home wouldn't be so bad but the tension there is continuing to mount. I suspect that the Ninja Turds are becoming anxious about the arrival of baby's daughter next month. I noticed that they were very quiet in the living room the other night when baby was talking with moms about enrolling her daughter in school. Normally, my sister-in-law is talking incessantly.

Baby went to town with me this morning. I had to go to the eye clinic and order my new dork glasses. It has been a long time coming. My regular glasses have seen better days. One of the reasons that my vision is blurred is because the lenses are so badly scratched. The scratches diffuse the ambient light which makes everything appear blurred. The waiting list was long and an hour passed quickly. Baby had an appointment in Kaimuki, so she had to leave. I waited another hour before I finally was able to see an optician. I met baby at Ala Mo's later. We had our usual iced coffee drinks at Gloria Jean's. Then, we went to Liberty House for the big One-Day Sale. Baby wanted to buy a certain dress, but it was sold out. We decided to stop at Kahala Mall and check the Liberty House there. The dresses were in stock, so baby got what she wanted. The Ala Mo's experience is finally getting to baby. She is growing tired of putting up with the long bus commute and battling with the huge crowds there. We may not go any further than Kahala Mall from now on.

The Honolulu Marathon was today, although we didn't get to see any of it. Baby and I left fairly early so I could get the annual safety check for my six-four. Yes, for $15, a brain donor checks to see if my lights work and so forth. I had to change my Cali plates in order to pass the safety check. I was in a bad way after that. Baby and I went to City Mill to pick up painting supplies. She wanted to start painting her new place today. We came back in time to eat lunch with moms. Moms was a little perturbed because the Ninja Turds left without saying anything after she had made lunch for everyone. We assumed that the Ninja Turds were going to spend the day with my sister-in-law's sister, who is visiting from Texas. Baby and I spent the rest of the day at her new place. I cleaned up the yard, and baby decided to do some house cleaning before attempting to paint.

I was fatigued when we returned home. I wanted to take a shower but my sister-in-law decided to take a long, hot shower first. I went outside and took over the hibachi cooking chores from moms. In the meantime, moms told baby to take a shower after my sister-in-law was done. My sister-in-law became very upset because she wanted to "give the baby (who happens to be three years old now) a bath." Naturally, she complained to moms. After I finished cooking, I took a shower since everyone else already took their showers. When I got out of the shower, I heard my bro yelling at baby. He accused her of not washing her hands before setting the table. He also made idle threats about what would happen if he or anyone else in his family got sick. It has become plainly obvious that my prophesy is coming true. My bro is beginning to lose it. And, he is getting a tremendous amount of pressure from my sister-in-law to find a way to get baby and I to move out. The sad part is that they are only making fools of themselves. Moms has asked baby to stay through the month until baby finishes the work on her new place. Moms has asked that we not say anything about the new place. I am sure that she is afraid that the Ninja Turds will make premature plans for the soon-to-be vacant room. However, they will be in for a big surprise when I move back in there.

The boss was sweating it out this morning because he apparently discovered that the daily batch updates have not been done since last Thursday. And, the only two people who know how to run the batch were out today. The boss was almost certain that the updates were lost. He would have to tell everyone to re-enter all the work they did in the past three days. For a moment, I thought that he was going to break down and cry. Fortunately, the network administrator was able to recover the batch updates. How do these fools get away with stuff like this?

Baby did not feel like going home after work. Do you blame her after that nonsense the bro pulled last night? Frankly, I am getting a little worried about my bro's mental health. His behavior is best described as psychotic. I fear that he will lose it and I won't be there to stop him from going on a homicidal rampage. Moms is already the main recipient of his rage now. What will happen when he really loses it? I met baby after work. We took the bus to Kahala Mall. Baby did a little shopping to buy some things for her daughter. After that, we went to Barnes & Noble to relax. We returned home to find that my bro was locked in his room. My sister-in-law and nephew were out for the evening. Moms said that my bro came home after work. Then, he left. He did not return for dinner. So, moms put the food away. When my bro finally came home, he just went to his room and locked the door. We did not see him for the rest of the evening. Can you say "losin' it"?

It has been about a week since I've installed Netscape Communicator. Since that time, I have grown very dissatisfied with it. Netscape Composer seems to format these pages the way it wants to regardless of what I think. The Navigator browser refused to properly display LoserNet's extremely modest pages. What is odd is that Navigator Gold did not have a problem with any of the formatting. It is almost as if Communicator was designed by an entirely different software team. Sad to say, I'm just about ready to switch to Internet Explorer. I am just going to keep Composer's format until the end of the month and fix the files with Super NoteTab. What really gets my goat is that I will have to upload all these files again after I modify them to satisfy Navigator.

I had a discussion with moms this afternoon. I was a little frustrated because moms is almost unaware of the abuse that she has been subjected to. My bro has obviously been showing his displeasure with the whole situation. Moms, however, has been extremely worried about him. She couldn't sleep last night because she thought that my bro went to bed hungry. It hadn't dawned upon her that he probably bought some junk food while he was out. My bro and sister-in-law have been using fear and intimidation to control moms. They have her trained just like a pet. Frankly, I am about ready to put an end to this charade. Moms has been afraid to confront the bro. She wants to wait until he's in a better mood. The only problem is that he has not been in a good mood for as long as I remember. My bro came home during the discussion, so I left for the gym. Baby went to visit a friend. She did not return until late. I'm sure that she wants to stay away from the Ninja Turds. Can you blame her? The Ninja Turds wanted to play the shower game with us again. When I came home from the gym, my sister-in-law ran into the shower. Fortunately, I already took a shower at the gym. Oddly, the dolt waited until baby returned at 8:30 before she decided that it was time to give the little whizzer a bath. Is that all these fools can think about?

The wage slave's life is a pathetic one. Take my situation, for example. I have spent several days training the new designee of the intranet project. I have been planning out my curriculum in the morning for my presentation in the afternoon. It has become obvious to me that I am wasting my time. I covered ActiveX Data Objects today. During my presentation, the designee asked me how to import a page designed in FrontPage into Visual InterDev. Say what? Paul has been working beyond the call of duty. He has worked out a way to install his PowerBuilder application onto the Windows NT machines without using the troublesome install program. Paul was ready to install his application. However, the boss came running into our deprivation chamber. He wanted Paul to cease and desist. The boss told Paul that there was a misunderstanding. Paul should only be working on tying up any loose ends and not worry about installing the product on any more workstations. Say what? I think that it is fairly obvious that the boss is anticipating our departure. I met baby after work. She had another great day of wage slavery, too. So, we looked forward to a nice evening at Barnes & Noble.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much of my free time reading computer nerd magazines. Out of all the books and magazines that I could peruse at Barnes & Noble, I somehow always choose the usual nerd titles. Then, after reading a few of the articles, I feel so inept. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Paul has been reading LoserNet. I'm not sure if he likes being one of the cast members. Well, hey! Everybody's a cast member! The boss spent most of the morning on the phone about his on-going loan fiasco. He was gone for a couple of hours after that. It is somewhat amazing that this nonsense has gone on for so long. Well, that is the way things work in Hawai'i. There has been quite a furor over the questionable practices of local car dealerships. Apparently, the dealers have been adding several thousands of dollars to the sticker price of the cars sold here. There is no logical explanation. People have accepted this as they accept every other aspect of the high cost of living. Yet, why is it that K-Mart, Circuit City and Computer City charge the exact same price as on the mainland? What happened to the so-called shipping surcharge? Is Computer City taking it in the shorts just to gain a foothold in the Hawai'i market? I doubt it. Hawai'i is just a drop in the bucket in the scheme of things.

I met baby after work again. While we waited at the bus stop for the express bus, my sister-in-law walked by. We didn't see her until she walked right past us. She did not say anything. The rains started up during our ride home. The great part is that it is fairly warm out even when it is raining. We returned home in time for dinner. The Ninja Turds decided to play the shower game again. This time, I had already planned a contingency. Baby and I went over to her new place to take a shower. I'm glad that we didn't have to play the shower game. Sheesh!

I have begun to document the intranet project. I only have a few days left, and I need to provide the new designee with a design framework. I also wrote a short letter to the boss. In the letter, I detailed my work and training schedule for my remaining time. I also formally thanked him for hiring me. Later in the day, Paul asked if the boss said anything to me about the letter. The boss has not said a word to me in weeks. Well, so much for a recommendation, eh? I surmise that the incomplete intranet project will be blamed on the most likely scapegoat ... the ol' lavahead.

I met baby after work again. We took the bus to Ala Mo's for no particular reason except that it was a better idea than going home. We just did the usual routine. I spent the remainder of my evening on my new computer. I have been having some difficulty with the trackpad. It is a frustrating substitute for a real mouse. I repeatedly end up opening and closing windows unintentionally. I had also mistakenly highlighted and deleted some text with one touch. The keyboard layout is slightly different from what I'm used to, so I end up making quite few errors. The overly sensitive trackpad is also responsible for my deletion of one application. It's all fitting for LoserNet, though.

Five minutes after I woke up, moms was in the "warehouse" and starting up a load of laundry. She was a little stressed out since she was running a little late. Moms wanted to finish her load of laundry before she left so that my sister-in-law could do her stuff. Mark your calendars! It's an historic moment! After moms left, my sister-in-law went into a full production with the laundry. I was looking around for Francis Ford Coppola. Baby and I left almost immediately. We walked to baby's new house. Baby continued to clean. I worked out in the yard again. We returned home a little after noon. The Ninja Turds were gone. Moms was doing more laundry. What happened? Apparently, my sister-in-law did one load of laundry. She just did her clothes and the little whizzer's clothes. She somehow forgot to wash my bro's clothes as well as the sheets and towels that they used. After lunch, we went back to baby's place and finished up what we could.

Baby had to leave for downtown. She and a friend were entered in the Jingle Bell Run. After the race, baby was to meet me at Kahala Mall. We anticipated that we would meet at eight o' clock. I went to the gym to kill time. Then, I took a bus to Kahala Mall. Moms packed a small dinner for me to bring to baby. I heated it up before I left. The trip to Kahala takes about 20 minutes, so I figured that the dinner would still be warm when I met up with baby. Kahala Mall was extremely crowded, so I sat outside. I kept my eye out for baby. About an hour passed, so I decided to check inside. When I walked in, I saw baby sitting and talking to another woman. As it were, baby was waiting about an hour, too. I asked her why she didn't call me on my beloved cell phone. She said that she didn't want to lose the seat she was sitting in, just in case I walked in. Say what? I have the phone in my hand. She could just tell me where was. Sheesh! We went to Barnes & Noble for about an hour. We read magazines and drank coffee. All in all, it was a nice evening.

Baby and I worked all day at her new place. Once again, I worked on the yard. Baby began the task of painting the kitchen. I came back early and took a shower. Moms had dinner ready. Baby had not returned yet, so I decided to walk back to her place and get her. When we came back, we saw the Ninja Turds leaving. After we had dinner, I worked on my computer. Baby sat and talked with moms. Apparently, there was yet another incident last night while baby and I were at Kahala Mall. My sister-in-law was talking to her son at the top of her lungs about her house. Moms was trying to take a nap at the time. She got up and tried to set the record straight with my nephew. "This is grandma's house," she told him. The bro decided to put his opinion in. Moms then asked them sarcastically, "If I give you your $400 back, would you move out?" Moms didn't go into further detail except that "all hell broke loose."

The boss spent all day on the phone handling more personal business. He is apparently moving into his new house this weekend, so he is making all the arrangements for the utilities and whatever else. Mind you, this has been going on all last week, too. I'm not sure, but doesn't this begin to fall under the classification of employee theft? I finally got a real monk haircut today. Baby and I took the express bus home together. When we arrived at home, my sister-in-law was on the phone calling her friends and relatives on the mainland. Never mind that the peak rates applied. She doesn't pay for her calls anyway. After dinner, the shower game started up again. So, baby and I walked over to her new place. We did a little work and then took our showers. My bro returned home late. Usually after an incident with moms, my bro avoids her for a few days. My sister-in-law told moms that he was putting in some overtime hours at work. Hardly likely. The express bus passes right by the construction site. The gates were already shut at 5pm.

Sometimes I have to wonder how anyone can put up with all this garbage and live a decent life. I am sure that I am not alone when it comes to dealing with stupidity from all fronts. And, the bottom line is always just money and greed. My family, my job ... it's all the same thing. Paul and I were discussing this matter today. "Where can you go?" he asked. There is nowhere to go.

The big office party was today. Well, it wasn't that big since there were only nine of us. The party was held at the Pagoda Restaurant. There was a buffet lunch, so several of us ate too much. We had the grab-bag gift exchange, and the network administrator was the fortunate recipient of the joystick I got at Computer City. I was the recipient of a nice electronic organizer. The staff also gave Paul and I each a gift ... a T-shirt with the company logo on it. They were nice shirts. The card that accompanied my gift had the Dilbert Zone "Deprivation Chamber" logo on it, perhaps in honor of my attempt to secretly embed that virtual reality episode in the intranet. I'm glad that they appreciated the levity.

I have heard from a few of the old cast members. The Bull (EquityBull@aol.com) has found another babe. Her name is Chantelle. Mike (who took the Armadillo pictures) has started up a small business in Convalescent City. And, the Cardinal ... he's still up to his old tricks. It's strange how many of us have adopted the custom of contacting old friends only during the holidays at the end of the year. It's nice to keep in touch with people. However, it is sad that it only occurs once a year. Of course, looks who's talking! I can barely reply to e-mail in a timely fashion. Sheesh! Speaking of e-mail, I would like to thank all of my virtual homeys for writing in! I also heard from John (TeamJDC@aol.com) in Modesto. His son, Gianni, is now six years old. My, time does fly.

As I rode through Kalihi on the bus this morning, I looked at all the usual sights along the way. The bus has been fairly empty since all the school kids are on vacation. I took the time to enjoy the ride, since I will no longer be taking this particular bus at this particular time past next Wednesday. My six-month ritual as a wage slave comes to an end. I will be emancipated into the world of unemployment. The office was even more lax than usual. I craved a cup of coffee, so I took a bus down the street to Jack in the Box. I bought my coffee and took a bus back to the office. The boss came in about five minutes after I returned. He wasn't supposed to come in today. He spent his day on the phone once again. I guess I'll miss all of this nonsense, mostly because it is better than sitting around at home with nothing to do. You know, Hawai'i is not that great a place to live. The weather is about the only selling point. I cannot stress how overcrowded it has become and how the quality of life has degenerated. There is still a heavy influence on familial values. As I've mentioned before, it's called ohana. However, the ohana system has become adulterated by fear, corruption and greed. The economy of Hawai'i is based on inefficiencies which translate into higher costs of living. The ohana network keeps the outsiders on the outside but it maintains the outdated and costly methods which keep many of the people of Hawai'i locked in near poverty. The whole system is likened to a kind of welfare state. Once one finds a job (if one can find a job), then it is for the long haul. However, that means a silent conformance to a pathetic system laded with injustices and inequities. Just do as you are told. Nothing more, nothing less. It is the classic three-monkey situation ... see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

I returned home at the usual time. Baby had been home earlier. I assumed that she was at her place. So, I walked over there. Baby spent a few hours painting. I did more yard work. We took our respective showers there to avoid playing the shower game with the Ninja Turds. It started raining when we were ready to leave. We waited for the rain to stop and, by the time we made it home, it was 10 o' clock. We had a late dinner and talked with moms for a while before calling it a day.

Today was a nice quiet day. It was also pretty warm. Baby spent all day at her new place. She has been painting the kitchen and dining room for the last few days. I drove my six-four to baby's place after lunch. I did the usual chores in the yard. Then, I washed my six-four and cleaned it up as best as I could. We returned home at 8 o' clock. Baby has the day off tomorrow. I have to go to work. Baby and I hope that everyone (all three of you who read LoserNet) had a safe holiday.

I went to work only because I wasn't sure if I really had to. The boss had mentioned that everyone could take an extra day off, but neither Paul or I knew for sure if that applied to us. Paul assumed that it did and took the day off. I was apparently too overly cautious. It turned out that the directive did apply to us, too. So, I left work at noon. I arrived at home right after moms and baby returned from a trip to Koko Marina. After a late lunch, baby and I walked to her place. I continued with the endless yardboy chores. Baby continued painting. She has about a week left to finish what she can and prepare to move into the house. He daughter arrives on the 4th of January.

I have been on the edge again lately. I am beginning to believe that extreme duress is an intrinsic part of my life. As I look back, I cannot pinpoint any particular time that I have not been in a state of heightened stress. Some of it is my own doing. Let's face it ... I could have produced a new résumé and sent out employment queries weeks ago. Instead, I chose to procrastinate. However, had life been perfect, what would I have to had write about? Say, I forgot to mention that I have been "on the wagon" for three years. The sinister force/kahuna has always attempted to test me around the anniversary of my sobriety. The Ninja Turds have also been acting as exclusive agents for the sinister kahuna, too. Does anyone want to trade places with the ol' lavahead?

I have been trying to rake up all the gravel that lies below the so-called grass in baby's front yard. For some reason, some brain donor had put in a rock garden and later decided that grass was better. Rather than remove the gravel, the putz let the grass just grow over the gravel pit. I must have removed 50 pounds of gravel in the last week. We had bought a cheap rake at City Mill. The rake has a plastic head that fits on the tapered end of the wooden extension. Well, the head was merely pressed onto the extension, so it falls off every few minutes. Do you see why I'm ready to lose it? Even the cheap rake rake is giving me grief! Sheesh! After dinner, baby and I took the bus to Kahala Mall. Baby bought a $100 gift certificate for moms from Liberty House. Then, we spent the evening at Barnes & Noble. Finally, many thanks to my virtual homeys Kevin (voyager@kctera.net) and Robert (rbryant@mci2000.com) who sent holiday greeting cards to the ol' lavahead! Also, thanks to Annie who sent us a box of the East Coast's finest confections! My old buddy Tom also sent me a card. He gets to spend the holidays in beautiful LA while he serves on a Federal jury. Apparently, the sinister force has found someone else to keep company with.

I had another fun day with the cheap rake. I have to admit that yard work is somewhat relaxing regardless of the cheap rake. Perhaps I should start up a landscape service. I would probably do better in the landscaping business than in computer consulting. I spent a few hours with my new computer. I have still not gotten used to the touchpad. I uninstalled a few applications that came with my computer. I am now in a quandary because I am wondering whether I should uninstall Works and replace it with Lotus SmartSuite. Since I couldn't decide, I had to postpone the editing of my résumé. Sheesh!

Well, the New Year is almost upon us. Have you made your resolutions yet? I have yet to fulfill my resolutions of December 1979. I guess my only resolution is to enter the world of wage slavery again. Before I became a wage slave, I dreaded the prospect of not having any free time. I considered my free time, of which I had plenty, to be my most valuable commodity. Now, I am beside myself as I wonder what I will do with my free time when I become unemployed. If I was a self-starting kind-of-a-guy like the Bull, I would be anticipating that moment so I could initiate new business ventures. However, I am a low achiever. I need someone to tell me what to do. I need supervision. Well hey! It's the return of the Stoneface Mack!

These are my last few days at work. The boss actually came in today. Once again, he spent most of the day on the phone. And, once again, he was making more arrangements relating to his new house. After work, I stopped in baby's office and waited for her to get off work. We then took the express bus home. After dinner, we walked to baby's place with a few things. We also took our respective showers there because the shower game was starting up prior to our departure.

My sister-in-law wanted to read a story to her son this evening. It took her almost an hour to get him away from the tube. Then, she and my bro took turns reading. The little whizzer was yelling, talking and jumping around during the entire session. It was a pathetic comedy of errors. This is my family, I say to myself.

One of the other babes in baby's office submitted her resignation today. Baby has been wondering whether she will be moved into the position once it becomes vacant. The stupid part is that the babe who is quitting was being trained as a mortgage broker. Baby is already qualified to do that job. I told baby that if she is not considered for the position, then she should look for another job.

One more day left at work, and then I am a free man! The boss came in again today. He actually came by to thank me this afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised. I conducted my last training session with the new designee of the intranet. I will tie up a few loose ends tomorrow morning. I met baby after work again. She had a package full of stuff that was given to her for her new house. Later, we drove to Kuapa Kai so that baby could buy a few more things at Ross for her new house. Moms and one of moms' friends also gave a bunch of stuff to baby. The new place is looking much better now.

I called my insurance company because Hawai'i has enacted some insurance reforms. I was put on hold twice for a total of 25 minutes. I finally was able to speak with a representative. In order to take advantage of my premium reduction of $70, I must show up at the local office in person. I must cancel my old policy, which I already paid in full. Then, I have to put an additional $60 deposit to initiate a new policy. Say what? The amount I already paid will then be applied to the new policy. Only then will I be refunded the difference. Sheesh! I also called the loan people. I have been granted another six-month reprieve. Thank goodness!

There was not much to do at work. I have been taking the bus to the Jack in the Box down the street for the last few mornings. I buy a cup of coffee and take it back with me to work on the next bus. Today, my last day at work, was no different. Paul and I rearranged the furniture in our deprivation chamber and restored the original layout. Then, we said our good-byes and left. My last bus ride through Kalihi was uneventful. I looked out the window and took in all of the usual sites. I'm not sure when I'll find myself in Kalihi again.

New Year's Eve in Hawai'i is a big event. There are a lot of parties and lots of good food. The neighbors at the corner were throwing a big party. They were up before six o' clock this morning to make preparations for the Huli-Huli Pig. Most of the neighborhood was invited. Baby and I made our appearance. There were all kinds of food and drink. People were also shooting off firecrackers continuously. The fireworks have been a tradition for as long as I remember. People spend up to several thousands of dollars on fireworks just for this one night. There is a belief that the fireworks will chase the evil spirits away for the year. Does that include loan people, I wonder? As the evening progressed, the neighborhood began to look and sound more and more like a war zone. At midnight, everything went crazy. One could hardly breathe through all the smoke and dust generated from the fireworks. Well, the new year is finally upon us and there are so many changes in store for us. I am unemployed once again, and I am stressed out. The Ninja Turds will be living with moms forever. Baby will be moving into her new place this coming Sunday, the day her daughter arrives. As for LoserNet ...

The fun never stops at LoserNet, no matter how boring it gets! Move into the new year and a new month as the saga continues. Hele on to January now!

The Keeper of Lost Lives: Return of the Stoneface Mack

Starring:
The Keeper of Lost Lives ... Tralfaz
Moms ... Herself
Baby ... Herself

© Copyright 1997 by The Keeper of Lost Lives
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