It's the start of the new year and I feel like
a new man! I feel as though I've wiped the slate clean, and I can begin
anew. Really? No, not really. There is litter everywhere from last night's
fireworks soirée. People have been sweeping and hosing down the
remnants of their hard earned dough since early this morning. Have the
evil spirits been chased away? I don't know. If I had to use my intuition,
I'd say that I can sense the presence of the sinister kahuna and
the sinister one is laughing at all of these fools. As the old saying goes
... a fool and his money are soon parted. Baha! Ha! ha! Haaaaa!
Well, I hope that all of you out there in LoserLand
have had a nice New Year's holiday. Many thanks to all who sent holiday
greetings to the ol' lavahead! Hau'oli Makahiki Hou from LoserNet!
By the way, did you notice the group portrait in the title header above?
Could you tell which one was the ol' lavahead? Yep, third from the left!
Friday January 2
I took moms down to Koko Marina to do some grocery
shopping this morning. Then, we drove to K-Mart in my six-four. Moms bought
a microwave oven as a gift for baby. We dropped the oven off at baby's
place along with a box of stuff that moms' friend gave to baby. Quite a
few people have extended the spirit of Aloha to baby. Her house is gradually
looking more like a home. Someone is also giving away two futon
beds to baby. The beds were supposed to be delivered yesterday, but there
was some kind of mix-up. Later, I called Paul and made arrangements for
baby and I to meet him and his wife Barbara for dinner tomorrow evening.
Windows Solitaire has become an integral part of
my life again. I have not been able to decide whether I should uninstall
Works and install Lotus SmartSuite. Of course, since I still cannot make
a decision on that matter, I cannot work on my résumé. That
only leaves Windows Solitaire. Well, at least I've become more proficient
in using my touchpad. Sheesh!
I spent most of the day playing Windows Solitaire.
I have been on a real losing streak. Baby did a little more painting. I
stopped by and did some yard work out in the rain. We called it a day early
so we could wash up and get ready to go out to dinner. We were running
late so I called Paul to let him know. We were supposed to meet Paul and
Barbara at the Ala Wai Yacht Club and catch a ride with them to Auntie
Pasto's. Instead, we took a bus directly to the restaurant. The bus stop
is right across the street. When we got off the bus, we could see Paul
and Barbara standing in line outside. In a matter of minutes, we were seated.
We enjoyed a delightful Italian meal and great company. After dinner, we
went out for coffee at the Starbuck's in the Ward Center. I am glad that
I met Paul, although it was the "temp" experience that solidified our friendship.
I erroneously thought that I would have connected better with some of the
kama'ainas but I, like Paul, was shunned by them.
Big Day Arrives
Baby has been a little stressed out for over a
week now. She has not explicitly stated as much, but I think that it is
fairly obvious by her actions. I can understand her plight since she is
spending a lot of money to rent a place just minutes from moms' place.
Baby is also concerned about her daughter. Her daughter spent the last
six months in Oregon. Baby seems to think that her daughter is very unhappy
about something, which would also explain the sudden weight gain. The problem
seems to stem from the on-going custody situation. Baby's daughter will
be flying in tomorrow. The futon beds have not been delivered yet,
so baby and her daughter may be staying at moms' place for a week. There
will be a lot of tension in the house for sure.
Sunday January 4
I'm still playing Windows Solitaire! I was also
able to move more of baby's things to her new place when the Ninja Turds
briefly went somewhere. Baby was painting the walls in her hall. I did
some miscellaneous yardboy chores. We had a late start to the airport,
so we arrived there later than we expected. We found parking and took the
Wiki-Wiki Shuttle to the main terminal. By the time we got there, baby's
daughter was gone. Apparently, the airport people keep a close eye on kids.
The airline agent told us that baby's daughter was at the baggage claim area.
So, we took the shuttle back to where we came from and went downstairs
to the baggage claim area. We couldn't find baby's daughter. After asking
around, we found out that she was in the lounge by the ticket counter.
Baby and her daughter were reunited at last. We gathered up the luggage
including a bicycle. I had to remove the bicycle from the shipping crate
in order to fit it in my six-four. Then, baby and her daughter had to share
the passenger's seat. We dropped off all of the luggage at baby's place.
Baby gave her daughter a quick tour of their new house. Then, we went to
mom's place. Mom's wanted me to cook Shoyu Chicken in the kamado,
so I obliged. Baby and her daughter went for a walk in the park. They returned
in time for a delicious dinner. The Ninja Turds were locked in their room.
After dinner, we piled into my six-four and drove
back to baby's place with a load of stuff. I parked my six-four and left
it there. It started pouring, so we waited until the rain stopped and walked
back to moms' house. The Ninja Turds were in the living room watching the tube.
Interestingly, they stayed up much later than usual. Baby suspected that
they were observing the situation. In fact, the Turds were behaving
strangely ever since our return from the airport. Moms said that my bro
left abruptly. He came back shortly afterward. Then, the Turds all
left together. My sister-in-law cooked some kind of cabbage dish and ate
it for dinner. She refused to eat anything that moms had prepared. As far
as I know, my bro either did not eat or he went down to Mickey Dee's for
a lardburger. I walked baby and her daughter part of the way to their place.
The Ninja Turds retired shortly after I returned home. Baby seems to think
that they will be trying to move my nephew into his new room as
soon as possible. I think that she is right. I will be moving back into
that room tomorrow. I have lived in the "warehouse" just one week short
of seven months.
Monday January 5
I took the bus into town this morning because
I had a few errands to run. I picked up my new dork glasses first. Then,
I dropped in at baby's office. However, she and her daughter had
just left for lunch. As I walked out of the building, I happened to see
them at a table in the Bishop Square courtyard. I suggested to baby that
I could take her daughter with me for the rest of the day. Her daughter
readily agreed. So, we began the journey. We took the bus to the Ward Center.
We walked to Computer City. I had seen a 36.6kbps modem advertised in the
paper for $99. There were none in stock, so the brain donor salesperson
tried to sell me a 56kbps modem for $300. Do I look like I am made of
dough? In the meantime, it started pouring outside. When there finally
was a break in the rain, we walked about a city block to the building where
my favorite auto insurance company is located. When baby's daughter and
I walked in the office, there was a long line. I estimated that the wait
would take over an hour. I had told moms that I would be home at two o'
clock so I decided to postpone the insurance nonsense. I also didn't think
that baby's daughter wanted to sit and wait for an hour in that dungy office.
We walked to Ala Mo's and caught the bus home. I was hoping that it would
not be raining out in Hawai'i Kai. I was wrong. Moms didn't want to walk
to Koko Marina in the rain, so I was beside myself to find something for
baby's daughter and I to do. The skies cleared up enough for us to walk
to baby's place. I brought a few of baby's things and my toolbox. I put
the bicycle back together so baby's daughter could ride it around. Baby
came by to get her daughter at six o' clock. Baby packed up a few more
things to take back to her house. Only a few items of clothes remain. She
seemed a little sad about moving out. After all, she has been a part of
my family for seven months. Moms wanted them to stay for dinner. Baby didn't
feel as though the Ninja Turds wanted her there, so she declined. I walked
All Yo Dough!
My bro and sister-in-law seemed a little happier
today. Maybe it's just my imagination. They have their house back.
My sister-in-law can drop the act now and return to her old behavior. I
still spend most of my time in the "warehouse." My Bose Wave radio is still
in there, too. So, I do my computer stuff in there. What's Windows Solitaire
without tunes? Sheesh! Yes, I'm still attached to the "warehouse." After
all, it was my home for seven months.
I went back to the insurance company only to discover
that there was an even longer waiting line than yesterday. A couple of
guys who came in at the same time as I did were equally distraught over
the situation. One of the guys talked to the receptionist. She said that
there was a 40-minute wait. Then, it would take another 40 minutes to write
up the policy. She also bluntly told him that the whole process was to
discourage people from changing their policies. Isn't that great? The whole
point is that the insurance company does not want to refund any money to
anyone. It is in the policyholder's interest to maintain the current policy
or increase the coverage (and the premium), we were told. Yet, about a
month ago, there was a major newspaper article about how the insurance
companies in Hawai'i had another record year of profits. Little wonder
that everyone is cynical these days. There is no question that money is
the driving force and motivation, not just for major companies, but for
individuals as well. I'm ready to move to Truk!
I dropped in baby's office around noon. She took
a break, and we all went to Burger King for lunch. Whoppers, our way, of
course! Baby has been offered the position that just opened up. However,
her employers do not want to give her the equivalent salary. She will be
put on a 30-day probationary period instead. Say what? Hasn't she already
worked there for three months? Sometimes, I'd like to kick those tightwads
in the groin as hard as possible with some steel-toed boots.
Baby and her daughter came over for dinner tonight.
The Ninja Turds did not seem too happy that moms invited them over without
their permission. I happened to find more of the Ninja Turds financial
paperwork in the recycler. Apparently, they have saved about $3,000 total
in the last eight years (not including their retirement accounts). What
was shocking is that I discovered withdrawals from my nephew's account.
He should have about $3,000 in his account. He only has $500 left. Now,
how could a three-year-old spend that much dough?
I discussed the matter of the Ninja Turds with
moms again today. I am very worried at how far this situation will escalate.
The Turds have been very quiet. They have probably realized that I am not
moving out. Baby said that she overheard my nephew asking his mom when
he could sleep in his new room. My sister-in-law replied, "Not yet. Pretty
soon." The cat is out of the bag now. Of course, it doesn't take a genius
to figure out what the Turd's plans are. I suspect that there is something
more nefarious ahead, though. I believe that my sister-in-law wants to
get me out of the picture so that my bro will be the sole heir to moms'
modest house. Then, she will file for divorce and clean house, so to speak.
The writing is on the wall, but my bro is too stupid to see it. Of course,
the Ninja Turds may not want to wait that long. "Maybe they might want
to kill me," moms conjectured. I wouldn't put it past them. I met baby
and her daughter at Kahala Mall at six o' clock. We spent the evening at
Barnes & Noble, which was a better option than sitting at home with
the Ninja Turds.
I uninstalled Works last night after I discovered
that some of the better features were conspicuously absent. I installed
Lotus SmartSuite this morning. Without FAT32, it occupies a lot of my hard
drive space. I uninstalled several other titles from the bundled package
that came with the computer to compensate. I deliberated for days on this
matter because I do not have the setup disks for those programs. My main
concern is the resale value of the computer. Isn't that stupid? Like someone
is really going to want Quicken or Smart Games Challenge. Sheesh! Well,
at least I'm finally getting around to designing a new résumé.
I spent all day composing my new résumé.
However, I was not happy with the end result. For some reason, I come across
like a real putz. There is not much I can do about it. I have been on vacation
for a week now and I desperately need to get something going soon. The
rest of my day was occupied by a combination of Windows Solitaire and straightening
out my junks. "Straightening out" is my term for recycling. I have
been going to the gym daily, although I noticed that I have atrophied significantly.
I also take a shower there so I can avoid the shower game with the Ninja
The gym is also giving me grief. Baby and I joined
the gym through a special promotion. We paid a special rate for a three-month
membership and we received a free month. However, the gym just sent me
a bill for this month. Here is another case of greed. Everyone wants everyone
else's dough. Did you notice that you are discarded like an old toothbrush
when you run out of dough?
Friday January 9
All I did today was run off several copies of
my résumé. At this rate, I may actually start looking for
a new wage slave position in the new millennium. Baby called this afternoon.
Moms answered the phone and invited baby and her daughter to dinner. The
Ninja Turds were not happy when baby showed up for dinner. My bro refused
to eat dinner. After baby and her daughter left, my bro got into a heated
discussion with moms. My bro called me into the fray. I took the position
of a mediator. Unfortunately, I had to leave because I was going to meet
baby and her daughter and take the bus to Kahala Mall. That may have been
a logistical error on my part. We spent the evening at Barnes & Noble.
Baby and I discussed the situation. When I returned home, my bro was still
up. He was outside in the storage closet. I said nothing and walked into
the house. A few minutes later, he went to bed.
I cannot help but wonder what happened. Prior to
my departure, my bro stated that he and his family were planning to move
out. He still wanted moms to pay back the $400 per month they paid over
the last few years. My bro also said that neither he or his wife was interested
in moms' house. He reiterated his accusation that moms discriminates against
them. In any case, the whole incident resulted because moms invited baby
over for dinner. My bro has apparently found a scapegoat for everything
that has gone wrong in his life. On the other hand, moms has found a reason
for dispelling all of the Turd's excuses as myths.
Moms related an interesting anecdote to me. During
dinner two days ago, my bro brought his dinner plate to moms and showed
her that a strand of hair was in his stew. He then realized that it was
his hair since the color and length matched his. Moms hair is gray. Moms
also told me that the bro went to Mickey Dee's and bought a lardburger
for dinner. The whole situation last night occurred because baby came over
for dinner. My bro is using his intimidation tactics to attempt to force
moms from inviting baby over to his house. My bro has a mind of
his own, but I think that my sister-in-law is pulling his strings. My bro
also complained that baby does not acknowledge him or his wife. Baby used
to be cordial to the Turds until my bro yelled at her for no reason.
Moms is usually gone Saturday mornings. My sister-in-law
now does her own laundry and spends most of the time on the phone. This
morning, she was using the cordless phone and talking in a low whisper
rather than at the top of her lungs like she usually does. No doubt, she
is telling the world about the evil ol' lavahead. I spent the day going
back and forth to baby's place. I did the yard work as usual. Then, we
went to City Mill in Kuapa Kai to buy a few more things for baby's place
including a small desk for her daughter. Baby and her daughter stayed in
Kuapa Kai because they were going to meet a friend and go shopping at CostCo.
I brought the stuff back. It took me almost two hours to assemble the desk
and chair. One screw was missing from the kit, so we eventually had to
go back to City Mill. Baby decided to buy two small chairs that were on
sale since she still has no furniture in the house. We set up the chairs
(more like stools) in the living room in front of the large window. We
sat there looking out the window at dusk. If the neighbors had seen that,
they would have thought we were psychos.
Sunday January 11
appear to have stabilized at moms' place. What I mean by "stabilized" is
that everything has returned to the same stupid state. Like a bad sitcom,
it just keeps coming back. My bro left for his carpentry class early yesterday
morning. He did not return until moms had gone to bed. This is my bro's
way of telling moms that he is very displeased with her, and it is one
of the many means that the Turds have at their disposal to control moms.
I helped moms cook the turkey in the kamado. In the meantime, baby
and her daughter had to meet a friend at the airport. Baby called to say
that she would be over at 6:30pm. She left a message on the answering machine
because my bro was screening calls. It's a good thing that moms heard part
of the message, otherwise we would never have known. My bro mentioned nothing
about the call. Just a few minutes before 6:30, the Ninja Turds decided
to leave abruptly. This is the standard modus operandi to indicate
their displeasure with something. When baby and her daughter arrived, moms
was happy to see them. We had a nice turkey dinner, but most of the conversation
revolved around the behavior of the Turds. Moms disclosed that my bro has
refused to pay her rent from this month on. Yet moms is expected to cook
for them and wait on them hand and foot. Baby is right. The Turds believe
that everyone owes them something because they are some kind of royalty.
Thanks to John (firstname.lastname@example.org) who wrote, "You know
what you need, brah? A nice cup of Fodgers, and some Stooge Tetrazini, and then
perhaps you could do some pacing around the warehouse! It's been almost 3 years
since those fun days in Convalescent City, and I want some PACING, dammit!!"
The way things are going, I'll be pacing up a storm real soon!
5, Moms 0
Monday January 12
Unbelievable as it may seem, moms has decided
to give the Turds another chance. She does not want them to move out, so
she a made a nice big dinner for them. She stood and watched as they ignored
her and devoured everything in sight. I was a little sickened by this new
turn of events, so I took some things over to baby's place. I asked baby
not to come over to moms' place anymore. Moms has just empowered the Turds
to do whatever they want. I would rather spare baby and her daughter the
nonsense of being kicked out of the house by my bro. I guess my time is
up over here, too. It took me about an hour to get a grip. I have detached
myself from the situation. I will need to move out soon before I get kicked
out by my bro. I guess it is a blessing in disguise. If I were to stay
here too much longer, my heart would be broken from the crap I would be
privy to witness.
In summary, everything is back to normal here. We're
at maximum dysfunction! I cannot change moms' perception of guilt. She feels
that she is responsible for the Turd's behavior. She is trying so hard to
find out what she can do to make things right with the Turds. I have to wash
my hands of the whole affair or I'll become as mentally deranged as the
people directly involved in this tragic tale.
I spent most of the day working on my computer.
I put several employment queries together. However, the mail carrier came
early. I had to walk to baby's place so I could drive my six-four to the
Post Office. The fruits of my labor may pay off. I received my first phone
call from a potential employer.
the Stomach Turns
The Ninja Turds seemed to be extremely pleased
about the way things have worked out in their favor. The three-year-old
"baby" was sick and made a mess in the car. Moms cleaned up the mess with
a minimum of assistance from my sister-in-law. Moms seems happy about the
situation, too. She made another big dinner. My sister-in-law was extremely
animated tonight, which almost made me sick to my stomach. I dropped a
few things off at baby's place. I told her that she can no longer use the
phone to call me at moms' place. If my bro were to find out that she called,
he would probably explode in a tirade. Baby wanted to know if moms made
that decision. Well, moms wanted me to tell baby that she can only call
when my bro is not around. I just couldn't see playing that game. I also
told moms that I will be giving my room to the Turds this weekend so their
precious Little Turd will have his own room.
I was sitting in the "warehouse" late last night.
As I was doing my usual computer nerd nonsense, I was privy to see my sister-in-law
and moms bring in all of the former's bedding. The three-year-old "baby"
got sick in bed. My 39-year-old sister-in-law woke up moms. She had moms
tear the bed apart and soak the sheets. Can you guess who washed the sheets
today? I forgot to mention that my sister-in-law called the little whizzer's
pediatrician at home last night. From the brevity of the phone call, I'd
say that someone was not too happy to get a call from the dolt. If only
she could train the pediatrician to jump at her command just like she trained
Off the Desk
My bro was home all day. He had to watch his son.
I assume that that the little whizzer had to stay home from daycare since
he is allegedly sick. I was in and out for most of the day. I also called
my only employment prospect. However, after a brief discussion, that prospect
dissipated. I just didn't have the right qualifications. I met baby's daughter
after school by the library near Koko Marina. We both hopped on the bus
and went to Kahala Mall. Baby met us there and we spent a nice evening
at Barnes & Noble.
like I spent most of the day on the bus. I wanted to get out of the house
because my sister-in-law was at home with the little whizzer. I stopped
off in Waikiki and walked to the Ala Wai Yacht Club to visit Paul. He was
busy at work on his boat. I chatted with him for a little while and caught
the bus to town. Baby and I went to Burger King (Whoppers, our way!) for
lunch. I then took the long way home via Ala Mo's. That's when the sinister
kahuna decided to strike. I happened to sit in a seat that was wet.
Someone took a whiz in the seat. I moved to the next seat but my pants
were already soaked. It was a long bus ride home. This particular bus only
stops near Koko Marina, so I had to walk home with my whiz-soaked pants.
After I changed my clothes, I left again. I took another bus and went to
Computer City. I bought a 4-outlet surge protector for one dollar. What
a bargain, eh? I took yet another bus back to town and I was able to connect
with the express bus that baby was on. What a day!
Can you believe the excitement that I am privy
to? I also discovered that the sinister kahuna struck once again.
One of the LoserNet sites has been down for two days. Actually, who really
cares? Why does anyone want to read about some loser who sat in a whiz-soaked
seat on the bus? Who wants a running dialog about the stupid events in
this household? Sometimes I wish I could just clean the desk off with the
back of my arm just like G did in Homicide ... just take my arm
and knock everything on the floor! Finally, The Bull (EquityBull@aol.com)
has informed me that the Cardinal's mom passed away a couple of days ago.
I am certain that he is devastated. Hopefully, I will be able to contact
him this weekend.
Friday January 16
I spent most of my day playing Windows Solitaire.
I lost a considerable amount of virtual dough. Since I have become hard-core
unemployable, I have decided that I should do something that is very easy
to accomplish. What else meets that criteria except losing at Windows Solitaire?
I like to augment my losing streaks! Well, hey! I'm a loser! Aside from
that, I have nothing else to do except wallow in my misery. I find it strange
that I have been indoctrinated into the wage slave mentality. My self-worth
seems to hinge on my ability to secure employment. I can't believe how
crappy I have been feeling. The face of stone has been on the verge of
exploding. I went with moms to Koko Marina. She purchases about $25 of
food daily. Most of the food items are for the Turds. So, moms spends about
$600 per month on food. The Turds believe that they were paying her a lot
of money ($400 total per month). Now, they have refused to pay her anything.
Moms bought me $3 worth of bulk Saimin to insure that I'll have something
to eat just in case things get tight. Moms and I could actually live off
of $100 worth of food in a month. We don't have the expensive and discriminating
palates of the Turds.
It's time for Theatre of Stupidity! Let's
tune into the dinner scene now, shall we? The scene takes place in moms'
kitchen. Moms is looking for something to prepare for dinner. She seems
"You can cook whatever you want. I don't want to cook tonight," moms
announces to the Turds. The Turds are laying around on the couch in the
living room. They are almost oblivious to moms.
The Turds continue to lay around. Like clockwork, moms begins cooking a
full meal. After moms finishes cooking, she tells them that she is going
to take a shower. The minute the bathroom door closes, the Turds jump up
and serve up their dinner. In the meantime, I am sitting in the "warehouse"
listening to this and transcribing the whole event for LoserNet as it happens.
Exit, stage left.
"Don't worry, grandma. I'll fix something. I bought some alfalfa (sprouts)
today," my sister-in-law replies.
"That's not enough for dinner. That's just a salad," moms says. She
expresses concern about the little whizzer. "What is he going to eat?"
"Don't worry, grandma. I'll fix something," the dolt replies again.
The preceding was an example of how the Turds have
trained moms. My sister-in-law actually did her laundry this morning. She
spent all morning on the phone, too. Then, she lounged around and slept
most of the afternoon with my nephew. I went over to baby's place to do
some yard work. It started raining just as I finished, so I did some other
miscellaneous work around the house. Baby and her daughter were gone for
most of the day. After dinner, we went to Kahala Mall to do some shopping
and eventually ended up at Barnes & Noble.
Sunday January 18
you remember that classic scene from The Shining? I am about as
close to the edge as Jack was in that movie. Instead of typing "All work
and no play makes Jack a dull boy" on reams of paper, I opt for hours of
Windows Solitaire fun. Sheesh! Baby and her daughter have kept fairly busy.
They were gone most of today. The good news is that baby finally got some
furniture for her place. The bad news is that the house needs more work
than we initially thought. One of the exterior walls is pretty much rotted.
The house is of a single wall design, so water has been leaking through
the wall. The carpet is also in bad shape. Baby called the property manager.
She was told to get an estimate from a contractor. The estimate was around
$15,000. The real issue is that the house may not be considered fit for
habitation by law. If that is the case, baby and her daughter may find
themselves in a predicament.
Moms cooked up quite a feast in the kamado.
She packed some of that food up for me to take to baby. My sister-in-law
noticed that the quantity of food on the dinner table didn't look right.
So, she snooped around and found the food moms had packed away, although
she didn't say anything about it. I took the food to baby's place. Baby
and her daughter came back with me so they could visit with moms. They
have not been here in over a week. We all sat in the "warehouse" and talked
until the Turds retired for the evening. Fortunately, we were spared of
any acts from Theatre of Stupidity.
Monday January 19
I almost didn't realize that today was a holiday.
Every day is a holiday when one is unemployed. I have felt crummy now for
two days. At first, I thought that it was because I was "in a funk" (as
Steph would say). I told moms that I have had some stomach problems. She
said that my bro had displayed the same symptoms yesterday along with a
high fever. I was fortunate to be spared the fever part. I believe that
this was the illness that my nephew also had. Why did it spread around
the household? Did someone forget to wash his or her hands? I am surprised
that my bro didn't try to blame it all on baby.
I decided to go over to baby's place and work on
the yard. Ray lent me some gardening tools so I could trim the hedges.
That project turned into a five-hour ordeal. The end result was worth the
work. Ray and his wife Gladys are baby's neighbors. They are a retired
couple. Ray always comes by to talk story. That's a Pidgin English
phrase, by the way. Gladys grows a lot of different fruits and vegetables
in her garden and she is always giving something to baby. That's the nice
part about living in Hawai'i.
I did absolutely nothing today. One would think
that, with this much spare time, I would get around to sprucing up the
LoserNet site. That seems to be my life story ... too little, too late.
I received a slam letter this afternoon. That really made my day. So, I
walked over to baby's place to drop off some pieces of mail that came for
her. I went to the gym for a brief workout. I was actually hurting from
trimming the hedges. Well, the hedges are about eight feet high. When I
returned home, moms told me that someone had called about a possible job.
The person apparently tried to call me on my beloved cell phone. However,
I had left it on but forgot to take it with me. Sheesh!
the Stomach Turns ... Again
I have not always made favorable comments about
my nephew, which is kind of unfair since he is only three years old. I
have discovered that he has two different personalities. No, he's not a
psycho in the making. He has one personality to satisfy his parents, particularly
my sister-in-law. This is the personality that is predominant at home and
includes a lot of whining and crying. The other personality only became
apparent to me this weekend. It is my nephew's secret personality. While
my sister-in-law was engaged in some short attention span task, my nephew
peeked into the "warehouse." I was sitting in the chair. He whispered a
hello to me, smiled, and waved. I waved back. He did the same thing a second
time. I am inclined to believe that he knows that he has to act a certain
way in front of his parents. They seem to want to stunt his emotional growth.
Thus, he gives them what they want. Yet, I cannot help but sympathize with
Moms took the bus to town early this morning.
She went to get a haircut. I left on the next bus and got off in Kaimuki
to drop off some stuff at the Goodwill store. I took another bus and went
downtown to meet moms. We were supposed to meet baby in front of Long's
Drugs. Baby was not there so we walked to the office building where baby
works. Moms waited out in the plaza. I went upstairs to find baby. She
was not there. As moms and I walked back toward Long's, we saw baby. With
that confusion out of the way, we all went to have lunch at an okazuya.
After lunch, moms and I took the bus home. Lunch was good but it provoked
more abdominal pains. I was not feeling too well by the late afternoon.
I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go to Barnes & Noble tonight
or not. As I walked down toward the library to meet baby's daughter, the
pains got worse. I had to sit down and rest twice. I remembered that I
told baby to call her daughter's school and let them know that I would
be coming to get her. Of course, by the time I made it there, it was well
beyond the time I had said I would be there. Fortunately, baby never called
the school. We finally made it to Kahala Mall and met up with baby. Aside
from the continuing abdominal pains, I had a pleasant evening.
I returned the call from yesterday, and I have
an interview tomorrow afternoon. I have received no other calls. I surmise
that the demand for mediocre Web designers has dropped here in Hawai'i.
Oh well. I don't think that I have much of a chance for the position. Perhaps
I suffer from that new malady, information anxiety ... the fear that one
does not possess adequate knowledge about anything. Lord knows, every time
I look at those computer nerd books at Barnes & Noble, I feel as though
I am an imbecile. The truth is ... I don't know much at all. Sheesh!
The job interview was a loser. I could tell that
I came across like a putz because I didn't even understand what I was babbling
about. I can go back to my routine of Windows Solitaire marathons. When
I really think about it, I cannot understand why we need more powerful
computers. Windows Solitaire ran fine on the old version of Windows. With
a Pentium machine, I can watch that spectacular display of bouncing cards
in the rare event that I win. Seriously, folks, why do we need any more
computing power? Of course, I'll be the first to admit that the Windows
Solitaire game board looks better on my new 12.1" screen. Sheesh! Well,
at least my touchpad acumen has improved drastically.
I have mixed feelings about the whole job situation.
It is nice to have the dough, but it has been nice to be able to spend
time with moms even if I just walk with her to Koko Marina and carry the
groceries home. I have not been able to do that for over 25 years. How
many people have the time to spend with their aging parents? I don't know
why but I feel that I owe some time to moms. No amount of dough will ever
be able to compensate for this moment in time.
Friday January 23
I walked down with moms to Koko Marina early this
morning. Moms bought me a cup of coffee at Mickey Dee's with her senior
discount. I sat there and drank the coffee while moms went to the bank
for an appointment. We went grocery shopping after that. Baby called from
work at 8 o' clock this morning because the bus driver had told her that
the schools were not in session today. Baby's daughter had gone to school
this morning. I called the school and found out that classes were in session.
Because this particular school is on a year-round schedule, it does not
observe the same days off as some of the other schools.
of the Line
I met baby downtown during her lunch break. We
caught a bus to the Ward Center. I wanted to check on a sale at Border's.
The software section is being closed out and I had previously seen a Linux
package for about $10. When we got there, the only version left was for
the Digital Alpha processor. Who own an Alpha machine? Naturally, we had
to stop in Computer City. Finally, we went to a discount fragrance store.
Baby bought a bottle of perfume. We took the bus back to town so baby could
go back to work. I caught the next bus home.
I have decided to do a total revamp of LoserNet
again. I will probably do the whole design on my computer before I upload
it to one of the sites. Of course, the content won't change much. As usual,
it is a matter of style. I don't know why the concept of style has become
so tantamount. I guess I just feel inadequate after the interview yesterday.
The end of the line has finally come for baby
and I. We have had many difficulties and worked them out before. However,
there comes a time when it makes no sense to continue. I cannot say that
I am overly affected by the situation, which is probably a good indicator
of how things have been going. Perhaps I am in some kind of "funk" (as
Steph would say) already and there is not much much that could make it
worse. At least, we are not dependent on each other for survival. I surmise
that it is all for the best.
The Turds are continuing to live in their little
dream world. Weren't they supposed to move out? Well, they told moms they
were going to move out, but they didn't say when. My sister-in-law
pulled this same trick over 8 years ago. Somehow, my bro asked moms to
let the dolt stay at the house. Eight months later, my future sister-in-law
was living the same lifestyle she does today ... expense-free ... all the
while telling moms that she was going to move out. Of course, she never
did. Actually, even a dolt can do the math. Why would they want to move
into an empty house with $1,500 rent, $500 food expense, and $200 utilities
expense every month? Isn't it easier to tell moms what she wants to hear?
After all, life in moms' house revolves around the Turds as it is. All
they have to do is make life as unpleasant as possible for the ol' lavahead
and he'll eventually move out. Then, they will have no incentive to leave.
Sunday January 25
I have had to listen to the constant whining of
the little whizzer. He has taken it upon himself to throw multiple tantrums
all day long. My sister-in-law continues to threaten to spank him, but
she has never once disciplined him in his three years of existence. Worst
of all, the dolt never shuts up. I cannot figure out who is more irritating
... the dolt or her son. I am beginning to see why my nerves are shot.
I didn't have much to do today, since I am no longer doing the yard work
at baby's place. I took a few more things to the Goodwill store. Then,
I went to the gym. I will be going to the gym every day from now on since
that is where I have to take my shower. Moms did some cooking on the hibachi
this afternoon. Moms wanted me to take some food over to baby' place. So,
I walked over there and dropped the food off. I didn't stay much longer
since there was no reason to.
Monday January 26
Well, my prophesy is coming true about the Turds
making life hard for the ol' lavahead. Apparently, the firm that I interviewed
with called on Friday. Moms thought the message was for my bro so she wrote
down the message for him. No one told me anything about it. All of this
only came up because I had also gotten an e-mail from the firm. My sister-in-law,
using her Georgia Peach voice (which is sickening, I might add), said,
"Oh, we were wondering who that was that called. We knew it wasn't for
us. You mean you didn't get the message?" I should have kicked her right
in the ass.
I didn't do much today. I walked down to Koko Marina
in the morning with moms and I helped her carry the groceries back. Moms
talked about painting the inside of her house. She is under some misguided
impression that the house will be empty soon. I told her not to worry about
it because that will be years from now. Moms seems to believe that the
Turds will be moving very soon. I seriously doubt it. The Turds have been
on good behavior (appearances only) for about two weeks. It's just about
time for them to revert back to their old behavior. As you may recall,
the Turds always become extremely nice to moms after a major disagreement
with her. Then, after two weeks or so, they go back to their old ways because
they think that moms has forgotten the whole incident by then. It really
is like a pathetic broken record. It makes me sick to my stomach. The Turds
just keep floating around in the bowl and stinking up the joint. Someone
needs to flush the toilet already.
see that my nerves are pretty much shot. I walked down to Koko Marina this
morning. I wanted to have a cup of coffee in solitude, so I went to Mickey
Dee's of all places. I ended up yelling at a brain donor who thought he
was more important than everyone else in line. After I came back home,
I called the firm that I interviewed with last week. I have a second interview
tomorrow morning, but it is not as promising as it appears.
I am trying to acquaint myself with the monk lifestyle
again. It hasn't been that difficult since I pretty much wrote the book
on the monk existence. I have not felt any sense of loss or remorse. I
feel nothing at all. I don't think that I have been numbed by the initial
shock of my new situation. If anything, I have been numbed by the stupidity
of the Turds. I went to the gym this afternoon. As usual, I took my shower
there. When I came home, I decided that I would spare my sanity and take
a bus ride. So, I hopped on the next available bus and rode it to Ala Mo's.
After I got off, I jumped on another bus to head in the general direction
of home. After taking two more buses, I finally made it home. What a life
I lead! Between riding the bus for fun and Windows Solitaire, I've got
just about all the angles covered. The real pathetic part is that I enjoy
this kind of pathetic nonsense. Well, hey! I'm the CEO of LoserNet!
I took the bus to town this morning for my interview.
It lasted about 30 minutes. Once again, I came across like a true putz.
I can never understand why this always happens except that I am a true
putz. Instead of going straight home, I got off the bus at Koko Marina.
I went to Mickey Dee's for a cup of coffee. I am beginning to think that
I have been craving some Fodgers. Why else would I go to Mickey Dee's for
coffee? Yuck! As usual, I went to the gym and basically did a mediocre
cardio workout. Well, hey! I just go there to take a shower! After an early
dinner, I took the bus to Kahala Mall. It was not the usual Wednesday night
since I went to Barnes & Noble by myself. It was enjoyable evening
nonetheless. I decided to stop in and see baby on my way home. She seems
to be doing fine. In fact, she was just on her way out with a gym friend
to go running. As for me, I was ready for another marathon Windows Solitaire
session. So, life goes on for the both of us. Finally, many thanks to everyone
who wrote in to boost the ol' lavahead's morale. I certainly appreciate
hearing from everyone.
I just cannot believe how stupid I am. I have been obsessed lately with
removing any trace of Internet Explorer from my beloved computer. One of
the reasons is the lack of hard drive space since my beloved computer did
not come with a FAT32 partition. Mind you, I have tinkered with the Windows
Registry for quite a while now. I have never had any problems. Hence, I
have never backed up the Registry prior to tinkering with it. Well, you
can just about guess what happened next, eh? I used a batch file to automate
the procedure. If only I knew then what I know now. I did not see the fatal
error until I had already executed it. Foolishly, I restarted the computer.
Windows started up, but there was clearly something wrong. Most of the
programs still ran, but I no longer had some key features of the operating
system. In a sense, it was comical. Baby and her daughter stopped by just
minutes after this fiasco ensued. They sat and visited with moms while
I puzzled over what to do next.
I broke out all the CD-ROMs that came with the
computer. I tried to reinstall Windows but my CD-ROM does not come with
a setup utility. It is merely an archive of the cabinet files. I decided
that I needed to make the emergency disk. This was about the only function
available at this point. I thought that I could recover the old copy of
the Registry. Stupidly, I then realized that I had restarted the computer
once already. The only good archive of the Registry was long gone. I had
no choice but to reformat the hard drive. Baby and her daughter left around
ten o' clock. That is when I started by first partitioning the drive. Well,
at least I now have a FAT32 partition. I formatted the drive, and reset
the CD-ROM drive and made it the boot drive. I used the backup CD to recover
the hard drive to its original state. After 30 minutes of this nonsense,
I discovered that the recovery was not quite ideal. All of the long file,
path, and folder names were truncated to the 8.3 DOS standard. So, the
taskbar looked idiotic and the Registry did not coincide with the naming
convention. The Windows desktop was rendered useless. I decided to call
it a night. Fortunately, I managed to back up my e-mail inbox and parts
of the LoserNet archive. Windows Explorer was not functioning quite right
Friday January 30
I could barely sleep. So, I got up at six o' clock
and began the tedious task of reconstructing my computer. I methodically
went back and forth between Windows Explorer and the Registry editor in
order to correct the problems. My first task was to get First Aid 97 up
and running because it can make proper corrections to the Registry. Even
without one of its virtual device drivers loaded, it worked fine. Almost
12 hours later, I had my beloved computer almost completely operational.
I took a break so that I could take moms shopping in my beloved six-four.
I bet you wondered what happened to my six-four, eh? It was in baby's garage
until the incident on Saturday morning. Now, it is parked out on the street
again near moms' house.
Screen of Crap
Well, my beloved computer has been through hell
and back in just 24 hours. I should have lost it and gone on a homicidal
spree. I did manage to peel off that little sticker that was next to the
LCD screen. It said, "Made for Windows 95." Oh brother. Well, that's a
lesson to be learned, ladies and gentlemen ... don't screw around with
the Registry! The true test will be when I am able to send up these files.
First, I have to download an FTP utility. I wanted to get a few résumés
sent out today. That never happened. I also wanted to catch up with my
backlog of e-mail. I managed to stop by to visit baby. One of moms' friends
bought a laundry basket for her, so I took it over there. We talked for
a little while and then I left. After all, I have several more hours of
fun with my computer. Sheesh!
My elation was short-lived. My beloved computer
crashed again this morning as I attempted to solve a problem with Dial-Up
Networking (DUN). For some reason, DUN could not get my PC Card modem to
respond. I ran several diagnostics and there seemed to be nothing wrong
with the modem. The card and socket services seemed to be working fine
also. As I made my nth attempt to reconfigure DUN, Windows decided
to quit. I got the "blue screen" nonsense. I was not about to go through
the same ordeal as yesterday to make the cheesy CD-ROM backup work. So,
I called Paul. He said that he had a Windows 95 CD-ROM with the setup utility.
I formatted my hard drive and took the computer for a little ride. Baby
went along with me and my computer. As it were, I could not boot from the
CD-ROM because it didn't have a driver. My computer can only have either
the CD-ROM drive or the floppy drive installed at one time, so there was
not much else I could do. Paul made a copy of his emergency disk with a
generic CD-ROM driver. Then, he made me a copy of Windows 95 with the setup
utility. The whole process took over an hour, so we were able to talk
story. Paul will be leaving for the mainland on Monday. He has a short
consulting stint in Cali. Then, he is going to check out Seattle.
boy! Go home!
I spent a few more hours with my computer, and
I was able to install Windows 95 after I copied and modified Paul's emergency
disk onto my newly formatted hard drive. I then invoked the setup utility
from the command prompt and I was on my way. By midnight, I had restored
most of the drivers. This was a tedious task. Thank goodness that I was
able to recover those files. I decided to try DUN again. Once again, nothing
happened. The Windows modem diagnostics reported several errors. However,
when I plugged the modem into my old computer, it worked fine. What is
going on here? Well, I have lost some of my archived stuff. I am using
my old computer to access my accounts. And, I have to physically transfer
files from my new computer to the old computer using a floppy disk just
so I can upload files to LoserNet. Is this kind of pathetic nonsense just
privy to the ol' lavahead?
Let the games continue
That's what some drunk guy at the shopping center
told me when I was a kid. First, he asked me if I had any spare change.
Of course, I didn't have any dough. Things are not that different today.
All I have are two computers (one of which is now just a paperweight),
my Bose Wave radio and my six-four. Can this adventure really continue?
Keep going on the downhill slide with The Keeper as he moves into February.
The Keeper of Lost Lives: Return of the Stoneface Mack
The Keeper of Lost Lives ... Tralfaz
Moms ... Herself
Baby ... Herself
© Copyright 1998 by The Keeper of Lost Lives
LoserNettm Love It, or Lose It.