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Old Man Noises
And Other Strange Tales

The strange tale of The Keeper of Lost Lives continues. Yet, it's time to wipe the slate clean. The journey to nowhere went exactly nowhere. Now, The Keeper is a little older and a little wiser. Closure leads to a new beginning, or so he hopes.

The Life and Times of a 41-Year-Old Virgin, The Keeper of Lost Lives and Old Man Noises & Other Strange Tales probably comprise the longest running Web journal in existence. The collective works of the oversized cranium came about quite on a whim. The ol' lavahead embarked on a journey of brow-beating self-revelation with the goal of sharing as much of the excrutiating and painful experience as possible. If you have not read the journal from the beginning, please at least peruse the archives. Come with us now and join the amazing cast of thousands as we bumrush the realm of the mundane and the relatively unknown. No other Web site dares to take you there. Then again, no other Web site pushes the envelope of sanity.

The face of stone made the final journey home to Hawai'i, but all is not Paradise. Everything has changed ... for the worst. And, the ol' lavahead's many years as a loser only served to expedite his demise. With nowhere else to turn, he faced the proverbial music.

Old Man Noises
One | Two | Three
As Lippy Espinda always said, "Hele on, braddah!" Now, the ol' lavahead must take that trite saying to heart. Changes are going to come, but only he can determine what those elusive changes will be.

The Promised Land
One | Two
Things have finally come to a head, as it were. The ol' lavahead has no choice now ... it's do or die. Can the ol' lavahead fill the shoes of the shepherd? Can he lead the flock to the promised land?

The Lost Journaltm Series
Regular One
Circumstances dictated that the journal be put on hiatus temporarily. However, the journal continued on and went "underground." The truth will always prevail. However, there's more than meets the eye. Continue the journey as we head down a different path.
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight
Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen

The Journal of the Mind
The [UJ] Archive
There are many questions about what went wrong and why the journal became so disjointed. Even Regular One cannot give a proper explanation. The real answers are here but only a few will be privy to know the truth.

Millennium
The year 2000 is upon us. The ol' lavahead is stuck in the same old doldrums. Or, is he? A curious omen indicates that changes are ahead. Drastic changes. Will the ol' lavahead catch the wave? Or, will be stuck forever in the vortex of stupidity?
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight
Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen
Fifteen | Sixteen

2001: The Viagra Years
Well, the ol' lavahead has proven that stupidity prevails. Another year has gone by and nothing has changed. In fact, the situation has worsened. Is there a way out? Perhaps only Arthur C. Clarke knows.
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight
Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen
Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen

Glass Menagerie
The journal continues in its inane, ludicrous fashion. How much longer can it go on? Forever, of course! The Glass Menagerie. Zoo of chimps. Ship of fools. Come, let's all make old man noises together now, shall we?
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight
Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen
Fifteen | Sixteen= | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen

Note: The journal will no longer be indexed.


Follow the adventures of the ol' lavahead as he attempts to break out of the ranks. Alternate between hope and despair as the ol' lavahead proves that he is and always will be ... The Keeper of Lost Lives.