E Pluribus Unum

Not quite a chant piece, but it is certainly a Latin phrase that is endeared by many. Hardly anyone knows what it means. The medium on which it appears is most important. Yep, money ... dinero. I have made this journey I call life on very little dinero, a feat onto itself. That is about the only death-defying act I have accomplished. I have lived the mythical life of a pauper roaming about strange lands and living amongst its people. In the end, the result is the same. |X|=0, where X is my pathetic life. Perhaps it is a lot less pathetic than I construe it to be. I am a lost one in a crowd of many. However, I am the Keeper ... yes, the Keeper of Lost Lives. I can taketh and I can giveth away. Baha! Ha! Ha Haaa!

Cali ... land of opportunity. The eternal babefest. Home of Convalescent City. This is my first full day back here. I still felt like I needed some Maalox. It was a beautiful day here, though, but it was meaningless without baby's presence. I need to put an end to this charade and get out of Dodge!

Tom and I talked for quite a while last night. He caught me up on all the Convalescent City news. He was also surprised that I came back. That makes five of us. Sheesh! I have begun to realize that my plans, albeit honorable, have precluded baby. My decisions, inadvertently, will keep us apart for a long time. I once thought that I needed to buy time to get out of my financial crisis. I needed to get things done, I said to myself. I need a job to pay off my loans. I needed to fulfill an agenda (that I established prior to meeting baby). That was fine and dandy until I realized that it could take years, maybe decades, for me to reach a point that I could call comfortable. In the meantime, what about baby? Exactly my point. Kevin, Skip and John may all be correct. I am a damned fool! What am I going to do? Should I ask baby to drop everything and come along on a wild goose chase? Should I drop everything and head due north? All I know is that this present situation is not going to work. I will not be sleeping well until this issue is resolved.

I picked up my mail. I had a huge stack of crap. I went to Jack in the Box to get some coffee and sift through it all. After that, I tried to take care of business, but I was thwarted at every turn as usual. I met Big John at Denny's. I explained my precarious situation to him. He was glad that he wasn't in my shoes. Who wouldn't be? I was supposed to meet The Bull after that, but I missed him. This time, I was late. Since when is The Bull ever on time? He did tell me (on the phone) that there has not been an all-you-can-eat Chinese night since I left. The Bishop may also not be in love anymore, but he is into some kind of massage thing. Somehow I didn't care if I saw any of the old gang. It's the same old thing. And, life goes on whether the oversized lavahead is here or not. I stopped in to see my homey Rod and also The Master. I felt that I needed to because there is no telling when I will up and leave. Tom and I went down to Farmer's Market and ate at the Firestone Café. He mentioned that Steph did not make it to Alaska. She is now on the East Coast, so I will not be able to see her. Even with all this, I could not get into the convalescent spirit.

Another beautiful day in Convalescent City, and another babefest! I felt much better today. I didn't feel as claustrophobic. I continued in my quest to finish my business. I did all I could. I called The Bull and arranged for us to meet downtown. I got there on time. The Bull was late. I ran into Billy and talked with him for about 20 minutes. The last time I had seen him was out near the canyon in June. He tried to persuade me to take up rollerblading. Billy left shortly after. The Bull finally showed up. We went to the Juice Club. Rama was working there. She ended up talking to The Bull while the line behind us grew. We finally got our drinks and sat down.

The Bull told me all about the babes who have been after him all Summer. He is interested in only one babe, Jen, who works at Applebee's. Tam has taken some more time off and has moved to Lake Tahoe. The Bishop is no longer in love. The Bull had an interesting tryst down in Orange County with Renata, the babe he met on the plane to Hawai'i. She apparently jumped his bones, but he doesn't want anything to do with her. "She's too submissive," he told me. The Bull has been going to Mother's Tavern now that his club, Mango's, has closed down. Several gym guys want The Bull to take them to Mother's with him. I'm sure that is because he's a babe magnet. The Bull did bring me an application for the Rosarita Ensenada ride that Team Loser is supposed to do at the end of the month. We are supposed to ride the canyon tomorrow.

I noticed that my access stats are down even more. This further adds testimony to the boring nature of my life, and it proves that people really want to ear about winners like The Bull. Add to that my confusion about whether to leave Convalescent City next week and you have the makings of a Thorazine soirée. Tom and I walked over to Burger King for dinner. Whoppers, our way, of course! On the way, we stopped in Lucky's. One of my old homeys, Jeremy, was working there. I have not seen him in years since he transferred down to Oxnard. When we came back, I looked at my photo album again. The time has come for me to make a decision. Kevin and Robert (Brattle@world.std.com) have been urging me through e-mail to return to Oregon. They may be right.

I worked on my six-four to get it ready for the big trip. Yep, my six-four and I are headed back to Oregon! Tom and I decided to walk downtown. Along the way, a car pulled up next to us. It was JD, one of the Highland house homeys. He gave us a ride to town. JD said that he heard I went to Oregon because of a babe. I'm sure that his source was Rod. Tom and I spent a couple of hours in Barnes & Noble before we headed back. Later, we walked to Burger King for dinner. Whoppers, our way, of course! When we came back, it was time for America's Most Wanted, the film crew of which is presently in Convalescent City filming a segment on the strange disappearance of a young woman here in June.

Today was a beautiful, babefest day again here. I wished that baby was here to enjoy it. I have been happy to see old friends, but it's just not the same. I called The Bull. He apparently was illin' since last night, so we didn't ride out in the canyon. He said that he hung out with the Bishop yesterday. Both The Bull and I tried to contact the Cardinal so we could plan an all-you-can-eat Chinese night. The Cardinal never called back. I also called Steph and left a dumb message for her.

I have been talking to baby every night on the phone. Baby said that she had a bad feeling yesterday that I wasn't going back up there. I told her that I was planning to be there on Tuesday or Wednesday. I hope my plan works as I have had to finagle a lot of things to implement it. If all goes well, I have just bought nine more months of time. I will need that time. I just hope that I don't piddle it all away.

I spent my afternoon at Barnes & Noble, working on a few projects that I needed to complete. I also reviewed more nerd books. Sheesh! I realized how little I know about anything including computers. No wonder I'm unemployed and homeless! The only skill I possess is the ability to write useless journals. Why does baby have anything to do with a hopeless loser like the oversized lavahead? Maybe I should stay here and just make my preparations to go directly to Hawai'i. There are plenty of Burger Kings there, so I'm sure I can find a job.

It was a beautiful day outside again. Yep, babefest ... again! Occasionally, I spotted a homeless derelict wandering about. You know, I'm just a few dollars short from that lifestyle. Perhaps I should spare baby the agony of further discovering what a true loser I am. If I had the means, I would take baby with me to Hawai'i (provided she would want to live there). However, I can barely afford to even send a postcard there. Once again, economics (aka dinero) will determine my fate.

The long awaited reunion occurred last night. The Bull, the Cardinal, the Bishop and I met for all-you-can-eat Chinese dinner. This was not old home week, though. Both The Bull and the Bishop mentioned that quite a few people were upset when I left a day early and nixed the farewell dinner back in June. I didn't realize that it was to be such an elaborate soirée. Things soon lightened up. The Cardinal and the Bishop spent most of the evening doggin' out The Bull (about Renata) and the ol' lavahead (because of his trip to Oregon). I formally said my good-byes this time. I finally felt like some kind of closure was effected. The Cardinal said that he talked to Tam. He told her that The Bull still had a thing for her and she went off. Apparently, Tam has been on a vendetta, going out of her way to tell all the babes at the gym about The Bull's tenacity as a stud. Whatever goes around comes around. Sheesh!

Caroll called yesterday to find out how I was doing. I made preliminary arrangements to see her in Salinas when I make a run for the border tomorrow. I enjoyed my last day by engaging in another wild goose chase. I tried to get into the clinic. Booyah! I tried to renew my unemployment. Booyah! I did get in a lot of walking, though. I ran into Mike (who took the Armadillo pictures) outside the unemployment office. Times are hard, eh? We talked for a while. Then, I continued my wild goose chase. After I got tired of that, I went to Barnes & Noble with my beloved computer to get the last bit of work done. I was supposed to meet Mateo there, but he didn't show. I went to Burger King for dinner. A Whopper, my way, of course! Then, Windows Solitaire! Oh well. That about ends my uneventful week's stay in Cali ... "I'll be back." Thanks, Arnold! And, many thanks to Chicken Guy and kafka@paranoia.com for advising me further on this situation.

I got up and ran a few errands in the morning. I also needed some Fodgers really bad. I have had Smooth-FM playing in my six-four during my stay in Convalescent City. When the time finally came for me to depart, I realized that it was sans fanfare just as it was back in June when I first left. Once again, my journey begins, but this time the journey goes somewhere. I'll see y'all in Oregon!

I arrived at Caroll's place in Salinas at about 2:30pm. We sat, drank coffee and talked for a while. Then, we watched Fair Game. We ate dinner at Lyon's and watched Casino, a depressingly violent movie, later in the evening. Caroll got me up at 8am this morning, although I didn't sleep at all. We had some coffee, and I left an hour later. I enjoyed the short visit with Caroll. She always provides some interesting spiritual viewpoints about life that make me think beyond the mundane.
 

The drive was long, but I didn't encounter any fiascoes along the way. I had time to think about a lot of things. I wondered why I made the drive to Convalescent City a week ago. I guess I needed to make the trip. At least I was able to visit with friends who I may not see for a long time. I also wondered what my plans would be beyond my return to Oregon. I have several contingencies in mind, but I can't guess which one would be the most viable. I'm playing a shell game with my life, and I'm losing big time. I arrived a little before 10pm. I was a little nervous because I would be meeting baby's daughter for the first time. I rang the doorbell. Baby answered the door. I was very happy to see her. I met baby's daughter, although it was her bedtime. Baby and I stayed up for a while and talked. And so, the new adventure begins.

I'm playing a shell game with my life, and I'm losing big time.

We didn't do much today, which was nice. The skies have been overcast all day. I washed my poor six-four. It deserves that after being driven two thousand miles in a week. Caroll called and we talked for a while. She has been playing the life version of the shell game, too, and I think she is at wit's end. I don't blame her. I'm going through the same thing. Baby and I have been discussing some serious aspects of our relationship. She has expressed her desire to move to Hawai'i next June. I want to move ASAP since I bought only enough time to get settled there. I told baby to give it some serious thought because that is a drastic move. She has herself and her daughter to consider. What do I have? My six-four? My computer? I can move anywhere at anytime. We ended up in the computer room to play Windows Solitaire for old time's sake. There was a young girl in there playing Wolfenstein, so we watched her play while we waited. Apparently, Wolfenstein has been a hit! To top off the day, we went to Safeway. Can it get better than this?

Baby has expressed her love for the oversized lavahead in many ways. I do not take any of that lightly. I'm sure she wants to know if I have the same feelings for her. The truth is that I don't know because I don't know what love is. I'm just like Data on Star Trek: TNG. Sheesh! I know how miserable I was when I left for Cali. I think about her all the time. Our last two weeks of Summer were very pleasant. It seems strange not to know what love is. What I do know, however, is that I would never use the term in vain. Too many people are willing to say they love each other, only to end up hating each other in a month's time. I would certainly like to have us end up in Hawai'i, but I want to insure that it is dream came true rather than a nightmare. What is interesting is that I never thought that I would find myself in this situation. I was caught by surprise.

This is usually the day the sinister force goes hog wild but, fortunately, I spared any of that. The rains started up today. It looks and feels like Winter already. Baby and I went out to buy my printer cable, and also a JavaScript book. I sat and read my book for the rest of the day. Baby began putting together things that she wants to sell. She wants to make preparations in case she ends up moving. I have been vacillating on this issue because I do not want to be responsible for baby making a bad decision. Overall, the whole scenario has caused me a lot of stress. I have to make critical decisions within a few weeks. I have no more time to piddle away. For now, it looks like Hawai'i is where I'll be heading within a month. Who knows, though? Anything can change at any time.

Fodgers and no doughnuts! I had to exchange my printer cable because it was defective. Now that I have the printer up and running, I need to get the book manuscripts going. Instead, I spent the rest of the afternoon reading the JavaScript book. This is why I am a loser. I cannot remain focused. I have been a little preoccupied with my immediate future. Baby cleaned off some jewelry which she wants to sell. She wants to start putting price tags on everything. She seems very serious about moving. We went to the gym together for the first time in weeks. I knew that I needed to go because I was getting even more puny. I can barely lift up the 830-page JavaScript book. Sheesh!

Fodgers and doughnuts did little to quell my anxiety. I feel trapped by my own stupidity. I bought the Sunday Honolulu Advertiser for $6 just to check out the classifieds. Things didn't look real encouraging. As I suspected, I only qualified for the hamburger engineer openings at Burger King. Each day has become a greater source of anxiety for me because I now live minute-by-minute. Anything could change at anytime. Baby spent the day polishing up her jewelry for a friend's garage sale next weekend. I read my JavaScript book. We played some Windows Solitaire and later did a short workout in the clubhouse. One West Waikiki was on the tube.

Frankly, I don't know what to do anymore. I have to suffer the consequences of poor planning. Since I do everything by the seat of my pants, I have to expect to incur some abrasions. It is too bad that I can't seem to shave off some stone from the oversized lavahead. I don't think that I am alone, though. In general, life is designed to keep people from succeeding. Obstacles are deliberately placed to keep us down in the rank-and-file. That's just another chapter of our own inhumanity.

Am I really as stupid as I look? Why else would I have wasted my life away? JavaScript has been keeping me occupied even though I'm in my eleventh hour, as it were. I spent the rest of my time on the computer in the clubhouse. It took me over an hour to get it to boot up. Apparently, the boot ROM is malfunctioning. Good thing I'm a computer nerd! Baby had a meeting to go to, but she joined me for a Windows Solitaire marathon when she returned. I think that baby is worried that these may be our last few weeks together. At this point, I can't say because I have no idea where I'll be. It is unnerving, at best. I have spent too much time on vacation. I don't know how to stand on my own two feet anymore. The Bull is on vacation, too, but he has big bank. Well, it's time I just bite the bullet. Burger King, here I come!

I spent most of the day on the computer in the clubhouse. I am finally putting together one of the two manuscript submissions in the works. Of course, I had to play a little Wolfenstein as a diversion. And, I also had to read my beloved JavaScript book. I think I'm going to start up the JavaScript Institute. It will be similar to the now-defunct Del Rio Research Center. Naturally, I know nothing about JavaScript. That's the beauty of it all!

I have been having strange dreams every night. I know it is because of the stress I am experiencing as a result of my transient lifestyle. I have been winging it. This strategy seems to help alleviate some of the anxiety. I can't even begin to think about what's in store for me in the weeks to come. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I spent another whole day on the computer. After I finished what I needed to do, I ended up playing Wolfenstein for a couple of hours after the clubhouse closed. Baby was banging on the outside door. I let her in. She told me that I was late for dinner. Well, hey! I made it to the fourth level! Of course, I had the game set at the "Daddy, can I play?" level. Sheesh! At least it kept my mind off of other things.

There is so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I want to begin submitting the manuscripts, and I need to establish the groundwork for the JavaScript Institute. I will also need to research my move to Hawai'i. My biggest dilemma is whether I should ship my six-four back. You know, my six-four and I have been through a lot together. The real issue, though, is what will happen to baby and I. Seven months is a long time, and who knows what will happen between now and then. I guess this is all the more incentive for me to get the ball rolling on some of these projects. Our collaborative novel is still incomplete, but I am willing to take a risk and submit manuscript proposals to potential publishers. It should only take about three weeks of solid work to finish it. Only time will tell. Yet, if I don't take a more proactive stance about my destiny, then I will be doomed to failure.

Well, I made it to the sixth level of Wolfenstein! That's quite an accomplishment for me. I wonder if I should put this on my résumé. I spent all day on the computer playing Wolfenstein and working on both the manuscript and my résumé (yuck!). Baby joined me later in the afternoon and played Windows Solitaire. We apparently lost track of time. It got so late that we missed gym time. Sheesh! Kevin was supposed to visit this weekend, but he apparently cannot make it. It looks as though he will be here next weekend to celebrate his birthday with his virtual homeys!

I spent yet another full day in front of the computer. Baby drove out to Troutdale to drop off some garage sale items. I am far behind in the things that I need to do. It is just too easy to click on Wolfenstein. Sheesh! When baby returned, she played several rounds of Windows Solitaire. I am beginning to think that we are both spending far too much time at the computer. Baby had found the onion-flavored Bush's baked beans at Thriftway the other day. We broke them out tonight.

After dinner, baby did not feel too well. She conveyed to me that she was overwhelmed by the thought of when I would have to leave. The thought had hit her when she was manning the garage sale alone while her friend was doing something else. I haven't given my departure very much thought. After I left earlier this month, I knew that I would not want to feel that kind of devastation again. I will face that situation when the time comes.

Fodgers and no doughnuts! Wolfenstein! Windows Solitaire! That about sums up this rainy, overcast day. What else could we do? I did get a few things done on the computer, though. I made it to the sixth level of Wolfenstein again. For some reason, the game crashes when I get to that level. Actually, I don't know why I have been investing so much time playing Wolf. I have never played computer games except for Windows Solitaire. Now, I know that Wolf is a little archaic as far as games go. Well, hey! I can't afford Duke Nukem or Quake! And, I don't have CD-ROM. I need CD-ROM. I also can't get the JavaScript Institute going if I don't have CD-ROM. How else am I going to snake those great JavaScript code?

I have been thinking intermittently about the situation that baby and I face. Baby wanted to know if I want her to follow me to Hawai'i. I can't ask her to come along on a whim. I do not want to bear the responsibility of leading someone astray. All I could tell her is that she was welcome to follow me. However, there will be a tough road ahead. Jobs are scarce and the cost of living is sky high. That's the price one has to pay to live in Paradise. Well, where there is a will, there is surely to be a way. I just hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew.

Yep! Fodgers and no doughnuts again! Whassup wi' dat? We found out that the local punks broke into the kitchen and stole all of the doughnuts yesterday. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! Maybe someone should have called 9-1-1! I played Wolfenstein but I was removed from service on the fourth level. Baby played Windows Solitaire for a while. It was such a nice day, though, that we didn't feel like wasting all of it in the computer room. So, we went to Egghead Software. After that, I went along with baby to Troutdale. Apparently, baby sold off a few more things than she had anticipated, so we went to Trader Joe's right afterward. No Bush's baked beans tonight, thank goodness! Err ... I meant that we had to substitute something else for the Bush's since Trader Joe's does not stock them.

I had a series of unusual dreams last night again. I have noticed that each and every dream has something to do with computers, the dumbest yet being the one where I materialized in Wolfenstein and became a part of the game. Needless to say, these dreams have been leaving me a little fatigued. Baby's ex-hubby showed up at the door this morning. I had a feeling that this was going to happen. Although his explicit intentions were to discuss their daughter, it was obvious that this was also a scouting mission for other more nefarious purposes. I have had reservations about this situation for some time, with respect to baby's daughter. I am sure that everything has been somewhat confusing to her. My main concern was not to become involved in things outside my sphere of influence, albeit negligible as it may be. I just hope that things do not escalate into the realm of stupidity.

Guys have an interesting way of making their presence known. For lack of a better term, I'll just call it the Code of the West. First contact is to feel out the situation and obtain visual data. If necessary, this is also where an implicit warning is delivered. I am not one to play into this game. I have neither the time or the patience. My initial JavaScript code did not work and I am in a bad way. Perhaps it is not the JavaScript code. Maybe it is my pathetic life once again tugging at my britches.

Baby had another meeting to go to, so I went to Burger King for lunch. Whoppers, my way, of course! I carefully perused the place to see if it would be a good work environment. I lost my appetite for my Whoppers. Baby and her daughter both had dentist appointments, so I continued to work on my various projects. I could barely concentrate. My biggest concern and fear is the future. Either I'll get my Toilet Ducks lined up in a row, or there will be hella flushing!

The sinister force was at it again last night! Big John called from Convalescent City to tell me that my loan is all screwed up. Big John is acting on my behalf to pick up the necessary paperwork. If this loan goes defunct, so will my life. Sheesh! Baby discovered that she needs to have a root canal done. Her dentist prescribed some pain killers. After taking one pill, she was illin' pretty bad.

Big John called again this morning to tell me that the loan is definitely screwed up. I sent an e-mail off, but I did not receive a reply by the end of the day. I went along with baby to run a few errands. She needed to pick up a prescription for antibiotics. Apparently, her tooth is infected and she needs to reduce the infection before her appointment tomorrow. We also stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up more goodies. I played a little Wolfenstein in the afternoon. Well, hey! What else can I do? My life is falling apart before my very eyes. We did go to the gym fairly late last night but we both got in a descent workout. Unfortunately, we have only been able to work out about once a week. I need to stop playing marathon Wolf!

The weather has been very nice for the last three days. We have not been outside much to enjoy the weather, however, because of ... you guessed it ... Wolf! I took baby to the dentist today in my six-four because I didn't want her to drive after having dental surgery. We spent the rest of the day in the computer room. Baby played Windows Solitaire and I lapsed into a coma. Later, I played Wolfenstein with baby's daughter. Baby and I then spent the rest of the evening on our respective computers. I have a lot of work to catch up on for the newly founded JavaScript Institute.

... I lapsed into a coma.

Kevin called this evening to confirm his arrival here on Friday. He is bringing some of his Black Forest birthday cake (Yum!) to share with us. He is looking forward to working on baby's car with the oversized lavahead. We are going to pull out the starter. Kevin said that we can get in some male bonding time. In the old days, I would have also thrown in some King "Don't let the smooth taste fool ya!" Cobra for the total Day wi' da Boyz experience. Sheesh! Lord knows I need it. I called about the loan. It is all screwed up. It looks like it will take over three weeks to reconcile the whole situation. It's a good thing that I'm Big Money Grip like The Bull. Yeah, right. Why the sinister force continues to toy with the oversized cranium is a question that is beyond me.

Although it was just another beautiful day outside, I found myself confined in the dark, windowless computer room. I managed to get a lot of correspondence done but all of it is merely to break through the bureaucratic red tape. I am no further than I was three months ago. I can't believe how much time is spent dealing with this kind of nonsense. I did happen to notice that my chest is now proportionally concave to the convex surface of the CRT computer monitor. What does that tell you? And, I did not even have time to play Wolfenstein. You know I be illin'!

The JavaScript Institute is alive and well, at least in my mind. I need to hire some programmers because I have no idea what is going on. Well, hey! I'm a useless bureaucrat! Moms sent me more classified ads from Hawai'i, and I noticed right away that Burger King is hiring. If I send off my application now, then I'll be good to go! Whoppers, my way, for the rest of my life! Yes! Baha! Ha! Haaaa!

 Most of my day was spent at the computer. Baby was out and about on various errands for most of the day. She finally got back around 7pm. I did a short cardio workout in the clubhouse, and I got to watch the Three Stooges! Kevin arrived shortly afterwards. He was famished, so we went to Burger King! Kevin ordered a Whopper his way without onions. When he got his Whopper, he discovered that there was a slice of onion in it. "What a loser! I can't even have a Whopper my way!" he exclaimed. Baby and Kevin spent the rest of the evening chatting about da man's music. I worked on my JavaScript Institute projects for the rest of the evening.

Kevin and I did a little shopping in the morning. We wanted to get started on baby's car but she had some errands to run. We gave her plenty of time to do that as well as to allow the engine time to cool off. We got a late start on the car. We found that we could not remove a bracket that was blocking the starter. Demoralized and emasculated, we resorted to a contingency plan. We ignored the starter and began the process of elimination with the clutch cutoff switch. Kevin bypassed it with a paperclip. We will see if this is the problem. The next suspect is the relay. No, I won't be bypassing that with a cheesy paperclip. Sheesh!

Baby played Windows Solitaire while she waited for us. Then, she tried to do a workout in the clubhouse, but she suffered what appeared to be a bronchitis attack. After her symptoms subsided a little, we all took a walk. We made a nice dinner here. Then, we went to Tower Records and to Starbuck's. It was not an exciting birthday celebration for Kevin. Well, hey! I'm an unexciting guy! On the way back from Starbuck's, Kevin lamented about the babe situation (after seeing some babe that worked there). I mentioned that I could hook him up with The Bull because The Bull is a babe magnet (as we all well know). Kevin said that he, too was "a babe magnet, but in a non-ferrous world."

Baby was not feeling any better today. Kevin and I left for Nike World in Portland. On the way, we saw a Copeland's SuperStore. I mentioned that Convalescent City is the world headquarters for this chain. We stopped there and Kevin found a pair of shoes that he liked. We then went to the Burger King drive-thru and ordered some Whoppers (our way!). We brought lunch back including a Whopper for baby. So much for Portland ... we never left beautiful Beaverton. We were all supposed to go to the gym this afternoon, but there was no way that baby would be up for that. Kevin and I went on a short tour of beautiful Hillsboro and beautiful Beaverton. He wanted to see the St. Mary's electrical substation (yep, the ones with the transformers and distribution lines for electric power), so we drove there. Once an engineer, always an engineer! After all the excitement, Kevin decided that he would get an early start back to Seattle. I spent the rest of the day making sure that baby had everything she needed. Mind you, I'm not a pampering kind-of-a-guy. Baby spent most of the day resting in bed, so hopefully she will be better tomorrow.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, would you be my ... would you be my neighbor? (sing-along) Errr, sorry Mr. Rogers, but I was having flashbacks of my old days living below Loser. Memories. That's all I have. Baby spent all day in bed. I am beginning to wonder whether she has something far more serious than the flu. She has been running a mild fever and the bronchial symptoms have not subsided. I ran over to the Drug Emporium to get her some temporary relief. I spent the rest of the day working on stuff for the JavaScript Institute.

Caroll called yesterday. She mentioned that she went to Convalescent City to look for a place to stay. She needs to be there two days a week. She confirmed that the housing situation is out of control. Even the motel rates are inflated. She finally got an e-mail account. I wonder if I should tell her about the Web and LoserNet.

Time sure flies when one is having hella fun! I continued working on stuff for the JavaScript Institute. So far, the code has been working. I have not been designing anything exciting. Frankly, I don't know what to design. Baby spent a good portion of the day in bed. She needed her rest. I have been a little worried that she may actually have some form of pneumonia. We will know in the next few days, if the symptoms persist. I have been under the weather since last week, too. I think I just have a bad cold, though. I had to put my beloved JavaScript book down much earlier in the evening than expected. For some reason, I developed a whopper (definitely not my way) of a headache!

I received my first e-mail from Caroll. That was exciting, in and of itself. When is The Bull going to be on-line? That is a question most of the babes on the Web want to know. I shudder at the thought. I am always glad to have associates join me on the Net. It's getting hard for me to even afford a postage stamp. Sheesh!

The whole loan situation is turning into a nightmare. I found out that my payments are scheduled to begin in a month. What happened? I called around to see what's what, but all I could decipher from the red tape was that I'm a moron. Why is it that things go haywire when I'm a thousand miles from Convalescent City? Baby felt a little better today but she still exhibited some bronchial constriction. We went out to look for some magic pills. We had difficulty locating the pills at three drug stores. We found out that the over-the-counter bronchial dilators were in big demand because they can be used in home-brew methamphetamine production. Sheesh! We finally found them at Payless. We went down to the computer room. I took my beloved notebook computer with me so that baby could play Windows Solitaire while I worked on some JavaScript.

I have been eating a lot of Trader Joe's granola. Well, hey! It's cheap! Kevin did not like the granola. He preferred Froot Loops. I found that the granola is cheaper than Froot Loops, and Froot Loops are just sugar-coated air. I also made some Trader Joe's black bean chili for baby. You know, that hot chili will kill all germs! She didn't seem to like the taste. Naturally, I loved them. Say, did you know that Bush's has a new variety of beans? Yep, Bush's Chili Magic! Yum! I can hardly wait to try them.

Baby and I went to the gym last night. I was feeling so puny that I had to go. I am spending far too much time on the computer. Speaking of which, I was in the computer room in the clubhouse and a guy named Todd stopped in to talk to me. He said that he was a "computer specialist." I think he was trying to drum up some business. I told him that I was working on a project for the JavaScript Institute. He then delineated on his training techniques in the proper use of word processors. Is it my concave chest that brings all these computer nerds in my direction? Do they seek solace in my company?

Baby's daughter has been asking me a lot of questions lately. I think she is wondering about what is going on, and I don't blame her. Here, some computer nerd just pops out of nowhere for no reason at all ... I'd begin to wonder, too. Baby seems a little unsettled about the future just as much as I am. I don't have any answers right now. Big John sent me a couple of articles about the tight housing situation in Convalescent City. There is no way that I will be living there again. It seems that my choices are being made for me once again.

Things are getting a little strained around here again. The majority of the problem now lies with my own inability to cope with life stressors. And, I am spending far too much time on the computer. I have no choice, though. The worst part is that I am becoming emaciated. My twig-like physique is shrinking even further. Sheesh! The rains started up again, which certainly did little to help the situation. Baby and I went to the gym in the evening. Baby later mentioned how puny I've gotten. I just about lost it. Maybe I should just throw in the towel already! You know, I'm even a disgrace as a computer nerd. My JavaScript projects are full of bugs. And, I have to debug them on a bug-infested version of Netscape. This can be considered a classic case of stupidity in action.

I got up early for Fodgers and doughnuts. Baby slept in. I'm sure she was fatigued from the week with that strange disease. I was left to my own devices for most of the day, though, as baby had many things to do. As usual, I was on the computer. I think that one of the JavaScript problems I was working on was caused by a date object bug in Netscape. At least that sounds good enough for me. I went to the gym by myself, and then I stopped off for a Whopper (my way!). Baby and I later went to a housewarming party in Troutdale. I spent most of my time at the buffet or in the computer room since baby was off talking with a few of her friends. I was playing Doom, when one of the kids came in to talk to me about Duke Nukem. He explained to me all of the unique features of Duke Nukem. All in all, it was a fun evening. Well, hey! I'm a computer nerd!

The weather has been nice for the last two days. Baby and I both got up early for Fodgers and doughnuts. We didn't do much all day. I felt a tinge of anhedonia. Well, hey! I'm getting puny! We went for a walk in the afternoon, and we also went to the gym. I managed to check my weight and, sure enough, I lost 15 pounds. Sheesh! You know, I know the perfect way to lose weight for all those people who have a weight problem. Forget the Slim-Fast! Just become a computer nerd. That's right. Lose pounds and inches in a matter of a few weeks without the drudgery of exercise or those annoying diets! Just purchase a nice multimedia computer with an ergonomic keyboard and mouse. That deserves another "Sheesh!"

I removed the paperclip switch bypass on baby's car yesterday. The starting problem is still occurring and now it's either the relay or the starter. Fortunately, the weather has been holding up. I didn't get much done today. Baby wasn't feeling too well. She still has residual symptoms of the mysterious disease that hit her hard last week. We went to Crazy Chef Sato's for lunch. Baby had a late afternoon meeting to attend, so I ran some errands. I stopped off at Trader Joe's to buy more granola on the way back. I also got some empty boxes. Now I will be able to start packing some of my stuff.

I wasn't in the mood to do my stuff for the JavaScript Institute. I discovered that my poor programming techniques were responsible for the various bugs in my code. Sheesh! Baby and I have been up late these past few nights. She spends hours with e-mail. I have been doing JavaScript. I am becoming a little fatigued. Even Wolfenstein has lost its luster. I need to get back to writing. What a loser! I keep vacillating between incomplete projects. No wonder nothing gets done, and I move closer and closer to a lifetime of hamburger engineering at Burger King.

It was a long night for baby. She had a major relapse of bronchitis. However, I am beginning to believe that it is a somatic response to several stressors. There seems to be no clear-cut reason for it. Not surprisingly, the symptoms reduced significantly when she was in a self-induced state of relaxation. The symptoms reappeared later in the afternoon. We talked about several possibilities over a long game of Windows Solitaire. Baby is carrying a tremendous amount of old luggage with her. She needs to divest some of that luggage or it is going to affect her health severely. I feel powerless to do anything, though. In actuality, what could I do except to be a friend? I think she is too entrenched in a lifestyle and circle of friends that are suffocating her. Baby had another relapse after dinner. I was going to take her to the hospital, but she didn't want to go. I went out and got her an inhaler, and she recovered enough to spend several hours with e-mail. Sheesh!

I talked with Caroll after reactivating my Sprint card for the second time. She is having a tough time making it, especially since her loan is also tied up. Sometimes I just wish life would go smoothly for all of us. The firm that handles the Epson printer rebates rejected my rebate request. It claimed that I sent in an invalid serial number sticker. Well, I checked the box again, and that was the only sticker outside. I assume that this is a creative technique of skipping out of paying me the $30 rebate.

What a day I'm having! I decided to tackle the nonsense about my printer rebate. So, I went down to the computer room to print out my letter. The printer ribbon was out, so I had to unbox my printer (the focus of the rebate fiasco). It took me almost an hour to get it working. Somehow the ink cartridge did not want to prime. I felt like taking it out to the dumpster. Baby ran some errands while I played with the printer. Later, I accompanied baby when she went out to get her hair trimmed and also to do some shopping. We got back in time for her to play Windows Solitaire in the computer room. I inspected the printer and found that the ribbon was kinked. I straightened it out, and the printer worked fine. All that nonsense could have been spared. Sheesh!

Baby seemed to be doing better today. She still has that nagging cough, but she was able to breathe. She made a nice Trader Joe's specialty dinner for us. I spent the rest of the evening doing what I should have done earlier if it weren't for the stupid printer. And, baby helped me debug some of the new JavaScript code!

The heatwave finally subsided, so I spent most of the day in the computer room. I needed to get some of the JavaScript Institute stuff done. I also needed to fill out the form for one of those weekly shoppers. Yep, it is time for me to sell my six-five. I am still debating about whether I should sell my beloved six-four. Alas, the six-four has been to hell and back with the ol' lavahead. How could I abandon it now?

Toward the evening, baby left for a Tupperware party. I stayed in and continued to work on stuff for the JavaScript Institute. I have come to realize how useless JavaScript is. It is merely a lot of hand waving that only appears to produce something useful. In effect, it is just another time-killer.

 It was drizzling most of the day, so I spent time working on JavaScript. LoserNet will soon be a bustle of JavaScript activity. There are already numerous modules in beta test, if you can believe it! Baby took the ol' lavahead to lunch at Benihana of Tokyo. Our hostess asked if we wanted tea. I almost replied, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot," just as Captain Picard would say to the replicator. I actually picked that habit up from Kevin. Every time he made a cup of Earl Grey, he would bellow that out. Incidentally, I can hardly wait to see Data in the new Star Trek: TNG movie coming out next month! I spent the rest of the day on more JavaScript stuff in the computer room. Baby came down to play Windows Solitaire. There were people waiting to play Wolfenstein on the computer, so we left. We returned at 7pm, and waited for the guy ahead of us to finish playing Heretic. That took a while. Baby and I played a long game of Windows Solitaire. We ended up missing another day at the gym. So, it was another night on the computer! Sheesh!

The rain beating against the pane glass windows was incentive enough to stay in and work on the computer. No Fodgers and doughnuts this morning because the clubhouse was being decorated for a wedding. Later in the afternoon, we heard a loud "meow" outside. Opening the door, we saw a little Siamese kitty. He immediately ran inside from the rain. Cats are interesting creatures to watch. They prowl around and investigate everything. Then, they lay down to clean themselves before taking a nap. So, too, with kitty. Unfortunately, we had to put him back outside before we left for the gym. We did a short workout and stopped off at Trader Joe's. We had another Trader Joe's specialty meal. I spent the rest of the night in front of my computer with a cup of Earl Grey. Baby read the Hawai'i tour book. After two hours of burning the midnight oil, I finally finished more projects for the JavaScript Institute.

Fodgers and doughnuts! I got my much needed caffeine and sugar fix this morning. Baby ran an errand or two while I sat around like a putz in front of the computer again. My JavaScript routine caused Netscape to crash. Fortunately, I have Doc Watson running. I have been spending all day working on Web frames. I now know why I have never implemented them. They are useless. Baby convinced me to go to the gym since I was on the brink of losin' it. I did a short meathead workout, and then I went to the gym's tube lounge. Star Trek: Voyager was on. I am not a great fan of this series or Star Trek: DSN, but I needed my fix of sci-fi. I felt much better. Baby also read the competitor's journals aloud to the ol' lavahead, so I was finally in deep relaxation.

In a way, I am glad that I have JavaScript as a diversion. I have been looking upon my move back to Hawai'i with greater apprehension. Moms has been sending the classifieds, but it is not looking real promising. Moms also sent me a package of coffee, chocolate covered macadamia nuts and some toothbrushes. What would I do without moms? Actually, moms is the main reason I must move home. Both moms and pops are getting up in years and I need to see more of them. Even if I move over there for less than a year, I will not regret the decision.

Can you guess what I've been doing all day? Yep, the computer and JavaScript. It was raining all day anyway. I finally got the frames problem solved, but now I have trouble with the actual code. My poor computer was put through the wringer as Netscape crashed several times. Even Doc Watson was getting a little tired of it. I have no other choice since Netscape is the only way I can run and test the code. As much as I hate to admit it, Visual Basic and VBScript may be the way to go. My programming skills have declined considerably. Actually, they were never very good. That's why I will end up at Burger King. Put the frozen, processed French fries in the basket, throw them in the vat of greasy, hot shortening and turn the timer on. Now that's my kind of programming!

Baby's daughter has been away since Wednesday. She didn't see my six-four parked here, so she thought I left Oregon. I was out at Trader Joe's and, naturally, I had to stop in at Egghead Software, too. She seems to think that the ol' lavahead is okay. Well, hey! It's the Data-like personality! What else could it be?

Another wet day here in Oregon! I had some errands to run including buying a box for my new printer. This was the first time I bought a box to ship something. The printer has some odd dimensions, so none of the free boxes I got from Trader Joe's would fit it inside. I worked a little on the defunct JavaScript program. So far ... zilch! It is a loser. Speaking of losers, I noticed that NetSurfer Digest briefly mentioned my ol' pal Loser (along with the competitor) in the current e-mail issue. It was part of a blurb on a Web page that indexed Web journals. The Keeper happened to be listed, which gave me a sense of being. Later tonight, I will be trying to connect directly to my account via long distance so I can download the new version of Netscape. Hopefully, JavaScript runs better on that version. I also want some new sound bites so that my computer will also provide endless amusement. Sheesh!

Incidentally, I have received several interesting comments off of the new form. I should mention that the form was supposed to be JavaScript enhanced, but none of the modules are up and running. I must apologize for not replying quickly. My access is limited. I am usually on-line long enough to use Xmodem but only to transfer the daily journal entry.

I was not able to download Netscape or the sound files last night. I forgot that the modem pool has only 10 modems. Can you believe it? Baby and I had another misunderstanding this morning. She seems to think that I am toying with her. Babes need a lot of affirmation. The ol' lavahead is not used to this. When the ol' lavahead was growing up, the only affirmation he heard was "stupid kid." We finally worked things out. I then went along with baby to do a couple of errands. When baby's daughter came home from school, we all went down to play Windows Solitaire.

We had to go out to a friend's place in Troutdale. She wanted some help with her computer. Basically, she is trying to set up her new business on it. I was not able to help much, although I optimized the computer. Baby's friend's significant other came in to talk to me about Doom. I was trying to review the CD-ROM for JavaScript that I brought. I could not find the code I was looking for. Later, he played Doom II while I watched. He warped over to the 31st level, and the setting looked all too familiar. It was Wolfenstein! He gave me a full copy of Wolfenstein. Sheesh! I've been trying to snake software that I really need and I end up with more Wolf! Is that some kind of poetic justice, or what? The babes finished their discussion and joined us. That was the signal for the end of the evening.

I spent all day on the computer. Baby ran some things over to her friend's new consignment shop. I installed the full version of Wolf on the computer in the clubhouse. Baby and her daughter went to a B-day party around 6pm, and so I was left to my own devices. I wanted to go to Burger King for dinner (a Whopper, my way!) but thought better of it. Instead, I stayed in and installed Wolf on my beloved computer. Sheesh!

I was up most of the night trying to download Netscape. My first attempt took over an hour, but the FTP server just stopped on me. I had only about 500K left. I was ready to lose it since I was doing a long distance logon. The second attempt took another hour. I was able to retrieve the whole file, though. The only highlight was that I was also able to download my new sound files!

Baby had several appointments today, so I played with my new version of Netscape. What else could I do? We will be on the road to Seattle tomorrow. Baby has a meeting on Sunday. Our old friend, Kevin, has invited us to stay with him. So, what did I do for the rest of the day? Wolf ... need I say more?

We had a late start to Seattle. Baby had a few errands to run. I was having Fodgers and doughnuts while playing Wolfenstein. Baby's daughter joined me for a couple of games. It was raining most of the way up. Miraculously, the sky cleared up. We arrived at Kevin's place in Kirkland (named after Captain James T. Kirk) about 3pm. We sat and chatted with Kevin and moms for a while, and played with the true owner of the house, Lord Watson (Kevin's kitty). Instead of Bush's baked beans, we ate at Rikki Rikki, Kevin's favorite Japanese restaurant. After dinner, Kevin dropped me off at his place. I used his computer to work on stuff for the JavaScript Institute. They went to see Matilda, and it apparently turned out to be a surprisingly delightful movie.

I got up early to continue work for the JavaScript Institute. Baby slept in. Kevin went to church. Baby's daughter was slightly bored. When Kevin returned, we were all up and about. Baby had a meeting in Seattle, so she and her daughter left at about 1:30pm. Kevin and I went to Burger King for some Whoppers. This time, it was my turn to be denied a Whopper my way. I felt betrayed. We then went to the see the Hawai'ian art display at the University of Washington. After that, Kevin took me on a little tour. The weather was unusually nice. The sun was actually out! He showed me the house he used to live in, and the park along the Puget Sound just a few blocks away. There was a beautiful view of the Olympic mountain ranges. The highlight of the trip was the tour of the Microsoft empire. "This is the home of Windows Solitaire!" Kevin proclaimed. I felt a tinge of sickness as I realized that Bill Gates and I are the same age. Strange how Bill is a stud, and the ol' lavahead is a ... well, loser seems to sum it up nicely. We all met back at Kevin's place at six. We had enough time to catch a bite to eat at Romio's Pizza (formerly Harry's). After dinner, we made the drive back to Oregon.

I immediately broke out the computer last night. I tried to install some of the programs I had copied over from the CD-ROM. What a loser! Each had a 30-day self-destruct unless I send in some dough. Sheesh! I loaded those programs on the clubhouse computer this morning. Baby had several meetings to go to, so what else could I do?

I am getting a little nervous about my departure. Everything seems to be coming apart at the seams, as usual. I still haven't even checked on the cost of shipping my six-four to Hawai'i. Perhaps, all I really need is a lobotomy. I will have to think out my situation. So far, I have been careful to avoid any thinking at all. I find that the less I think, the less I tend to complicate matters. When does one draw the line, though? I could easily see myself becoming a Wolfenstein brain donor. Sheesh!

I spent most of last night working on my JavaScript code. I finally got it to work. As it turns out, the error was my own doing (or undoing). In an attempt to maintain proper syntax, I put a bracket in the wrong place. Sheesh! At least I finally could sleep! I have devoted most of this day to working on the rest of the project. Baby had a meeting and several errands to run, which kept her out most of the day. The weather has been dreary and cold, too. Fortunately, the rain stopped.

I have been having some surreal out-of-body experiences lately. It is kind of like I am sitting somewhere else, watching myself on the tube. Well, in a way I am starring in my own sitcom. This is a strange feeling. I wonder if I am going berserk, or perhaps this all due to anxiety about my uncertain future. I need a distraction. Wolfenstein? I don't think so. As soon as the projects for the JavaScript Institute are done, there will be much more nonsense for me to do.

 I burned the midnight oil last night with JavaScript. I was finally able to achieve moderate success. I also had a bizarre dream last night. The only part I remember is me bringing a bottle of King Cobra (Don't let the smooth taste fool ya!) and engaging in some dereliction with two other derelicts. I woke up with a massive headache. I was also freezing since I didn't have the covers over my upper body. Speaking of dereliction, my monk haircut has grown out. I dread the thought of going back to see Butch, though. If I need a Flowbee haircut, I can do it myself. Sheesh! I took one short break to play Wolfenstein, but I couldn't play it longer than ten minutes. Perhaps I have weaned myself of this foolishness. Or, maybe I am just fatigued because I have been competing for time on the clubhouse computer with other fools for the last three days. When I finally have real work to do, everyone else wants to play Wolf!

I burned the midnight oil again with JavaScript. I am putting the finishing touches on the projects for the JavaScript Institute. I also revised a few pieces of code that worked fine on Netscape 2.02 but not on the latest version.

The sun came out for a few hours today. Baby had a whole series of appointments, so I was left to my own devices. As I sat and drank my morning coffee, I thought about my return to Hawai'i. My main reason is to spend more time with moms. Kevin's mom lives with him, but she will be moving to Las Vegas soon. He thinks it's for the better. Interestingly, he mentioned that many babes are wary of going out with guys who live with their mothers. Perhaps this is more evidence that babes like da bad boyz. I had some Trader Joe's chili beans for lunch. Then, I continued to refine my JavaScript project. I have become a true computer nerd. All I do is work on the computer. I have no other interests now. That is beginning to scare me.

I had another weird dream last night. It took place in a what appeared to be a Southern mansion. The story was classic mini-series genre, but I cannot remember my role in it. I spent most of the day at the computer. More JavaScript problems! I finally reconfigured Winsock after another Xmodem incident. Why didn't I do this earlier? That's my lot in life, I presume. I also reviewed the classifieds that moms sent me from home. As usual, all I get out of the classifieds is black ink all over my hands. I saw the usual "team player" nonsense. If there are so many team players, why are there so many problems in the workplace?

I have been in a bad way for the last few days. I can't even pinpoint what it is. Kevin and I discussed the subject of depression while we were driving around Seattle. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I suffer from that problem, too. Steph called it "being in a funk," as we all know by now. All I know is that I want to be left alone. I really don't want to have any discussions. I don't want to think. All I want to do is download useless files. Sheesh!

We went to the gym last night but that did little to alleviate anything. I had another crazy dream. This time, the cast from Convalescent City was in it. We were all cavorting around in a limo. I don't understand the significance of these dreams. At least it wasn't a Wolfenstein Nightmare.

We made it for Fodgers and doughnuts this morning. Then, I was back on the computer. I finally solved the last of the JavaScript bugs, thank goodness, but I was still "in a funk" (as Steph would say). I'm not exactly sure what is the cause of all of this. Maybe it is burnout. I long for the simple life. I am kidding myself because there ain't no such animal! I oftentimes wonder if I should just move up into the Santa Cruz mountains and become a hermit. Don't worry, I'm not planning on sending packages of C-4 in the mail to alleged technocrats. What I really need is to seek counsel from The Master. The Master is able to maintain the hermitage no matter where he is. That's why he's The Master!

I was left to my own devices last night as baby went out visit one of her friends. I went down to the clubhouse and did a wimpy workout to kill time. I also received my payment coupons for my loan yesterday. Apparently, my deferment has not gone through due to the sinister force. I am to begin making monthly payments of $533 in two weeks. I will be doing this for the next ten years. That made my day! Speaking of debt, it surprises me to see how many people are up in arms over the so-called deficit. These are usually the same people who cannot curb their credit card usage. Surprisingly, the deficit is not the villain. Actually, it can spur growth, much like credit allows people to live beyond their means, or how speculation can generate wealth in the stock market. Perception is what makes it good or bad. Of course, only the peons like the ol' lavahead will end up chained to his debt forever.

Fodgers and doughnuts! That's the highlight of my day. Baby went to help her friend at her new store. I stayed in with my beloved computer. I am trying to wrap things up with the JavaScript Institute. Right now, I am not even sure if I will make it back down to Convalescent City. I was supposed to be there this week. Oh well. Anyway, I forgot to thank Baird_Anne_J.PRILVMS3@msmail.bms.com, jedaley@zd.com, pagomez@infosel.net.mx and my old friend John in Modesto (jdangelis@gnn.com) for writing in!

We made it to the gym last night for a short workout. Baby spent some time on-line answering e-mail. She averages about 60 pieces of e-mail daily. I, on the other hand, have received a grand total of seven ... yes, count them ... seven pieces of e-mail in over 10 weeks. Three of them were junk mail. Sheesh! I have experienced greater apprehension about moving in the last few days. Perhaps I should move somewhere else instead of Honolulu, say, like Denton (Texas). Really? No, not really. By the way, does Chris Elliot still do those Tostitos ads?

I called around to check on my deferment this morning. The news was not good. Even if my deferment goes through in time, my payments start in December. If it doesn't go through ... well, you know the drill. I felt very sick. In desperation, I quickly pulled out all the paperwork on the various repayment options. What a joke! After a few more costly phone calls, I discovered that I need to obtain a form from one office, fill it out, and walk it not more than 20 feet to submit it to some other duffer (a Paul Hogan term) in another office. What is even more dumb is that I may have to fly to Cali in the next day or so to do this. Sheesh! As usual, the sinister force has dealt me a bad hand. I don't even have the luxury of looking for a job. Burger King, here I come! The sinister force has also been toying with baby. Because of an oversight by some duffer, she has lost quite a bit of dough. What a life we're living!

Baby and her daughter went to a roller skating party. I stayed in and played with my beloved computer. I also made a few phone calls to see what can be done about the situation. The whole situation has become a living nightmare. I am surprised that I am not in worse way. All I know is that I will be wringing my hands until this is resolved.

Fortunately, Big John did some footwork for me in Convalescent City. He called to let me know who I should contact, and so I did. I sent off some paperwork as per the instructions I was given. Hopefully, my deferment will be reactivated. I had an appointment at 11am at the Auto Club (AAA). I managed to obtain some useful airline information. All I have left is to decide upon my final departure date. Baby and I ran some other errands together, and we had lunch at Burger King (yep, Whoppers, our way!). We also picked up a shipping box for my six-five. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to stuff my six-five in the box. Baby's daughter assisted me and kept me company. I had to run out and buy some tools to take my six-five apart. I ended up returning one because it wasn't the right tool. Why does that always happen? Several hours later, I was still fooling around with the box and my six-five. I was about ready to throw everything in the dumpster. Finally, I gave up. The bottom line is that the box was too small. Like a true engineer, that only served as a challenge. I took up that challenge and suffered defeat.

I was thinking about how my life seems like a laborious version of Quantum Leap. Each setting is entirely different from the other. Each requires a different persona. What will be my new persona in Hawai'i? I should call my version Quantum Loser. After all, I feel as though I am leaping from one loser's body to the next. And, I have duffers just like Al to help screw things up for me. All I need is a computer like Ziggy. Sheesh!

After admitting defeat by a lowly cardboard box, I was extremely demoralized. The empty box sat here overnight as testimony to my ineptness. Baby and I went out and got a larger box from a different bike shop. After a couple of hours, I was able to pack my six-five in it almost perfectly. Later, I changed the oil in baby's car and my six-four, such that I could finally pack my tool box for shipping. I joined baby and her daughter when they went to Barnes & Noble. I perused the computer books, as to be expected. Well, hey! I'm a computer nerd! The rest of the evening was spent playing Solitaire (no, not Windows Solitaire). We used a regular deck of cards. Sheesh!

All the packing has made me realize that I have been a little tense lately. Well, that's an understatement! I've been hella tense! I think the façade of distractions is wearing off. I know that my time here is limited. I'm not exactly sure how I am going to handle this once it finally hits home. Time has gone by quickly. Do you remember when I made the drive up here in June? I remember it well. By the way, the informal reader poll was unanimous. Everyone voted that I should stay in Oregon. I have never been one to make correct decisions. My move to Hawai'i may serve as an extreme case in point.

The weather has been extremely nice for the last three days. Baby washed her car, and I washed my beloved six-four. I made a call to Convalescent City about a project I am working on. I wanted to find out whether a trip down there would be necessary. The individual (who shall remain nameless) apparently is clueless that I am a thousand miles away. He still wants me to sashay in for tea time, although the trip would cost me about $200 or more. To say that I was chagrined would be an understatement. Later, baby and her daughter went out trick-or-treating. Baby dressed up as one of the character from the X-Men. Her daughter dressed up as Hobbes from the Calvin and Hobbes comics. I stayed in with my beloved computer. When baby and her daughter returned, they brought back a big bag full of candy. Baby's daughter shared a couple of Snickers bars with the oversized lavahead. I was overjoyed. Well, simple pleasures for simple minds, eh?

Continue the adventure now ... move on to November!

The Keeper of Lost Lives: Absolute Value Equals Zero
Starring:
42-Year-Old Virgin ... Tralfaz
Baby ... Herself
And a cast of thousands!

© Copyright 1996 by the 42-Year-Old Virgin
LoserNet^tm Love It, or Lose It.