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Return of the    Stoneface Mack

I spent the whole day reconstructing what used to be my computer. I actually got everything working except Dial-Up Networking (DUN). The process took all day, but I was satisfied with the progress I made. I can't say that I have enjoyed this whole experience. I'm not exactly sure if I want to stay in the computer field anymore. I may not have much choice. I doubt that I am going to get another job in the computer field. In fact, I'm beginning to doubt that I will find another decent job again. My suspicions lead me to believe that I will end up working as a hamburger engineer at one of those fast food places.

Moms told me that my bro and his family are moving in two weeks. They apparently found a one-bedroom apartment for about $800 per month. Frankly, I am a little surprised. The situation between baby and I has improved. It's almost like the computer ... partition, reformat and reinstall the operating system ... if you know what I mean.

Moms and I went to Ala Mo's this morning. Moms wanted to look around for a few things that she needed. She didn't find anything that she liked. We ate bento lunch at Shirokiya. I enjoyed riding the bus with moms. It reminded me of when I was a kid. Moms and I rode the bus everywhere. Now, forty years later, I'm doing the same thing. I watched moms as she took a short nap. Moms has gotten much more tired and more frail in the last few years. It saddened me to think that I may have only a few more years to spend time with moms. It saddened me more to think that the present situation at home has been less than desirable. Moms deserves better than that.

I decided to call the Fujitsu support line. Although I had sent in my warranty registration card about two months ago, I found out that my computer was not registered. After I completed the registration process, I talked with a service representative. I explained what happened and what I did to recover everything. We went through the same diagnostics that I had gone through several times already. Then, I was told to recover the system with the factory backup CD. I would have to partition the hard drive for FAT16 first. Of course, that meant that I would lose everything that I did for the last two days. Reluctantly, I began the task of reformatting the hard drive.

I restored everything from the backup CD as instructed. Using the FAT16 partition prevented the truncating of the file and folder names. I tried DUN again. Same problem. I called Fujitsu technical support again. I updated the service representative on all that had transpired. He walked me through another set of procedures that eventually caused my computer to crash. I got the same error message as the last crash. I figured out why, too. Whenever anything is changed in Windows 95, a reboot is usually required. Never skip the reboot and continue with more changes. If a reboot is required every time a change is made, then do it. Otherwise, the so-called "blue screen" comes up with the error message that it can't find a device driver called by a redirect. I think that I'm done dealing with Fujitsu. In any case, I had put all of my important files back on the computer including what was left of my e-mail archive after the last crash. Now, I've lost everything because I no longer have the backup floppies.

I spent the rest of the day reformatting the hard drive. I restored the FAT32 partition. I reinstalled Windows 95 and all the drivers. Since I am not using the factory backup CD, I must do this all manually. I'm back to where I was two days ago. This time, I have held off from installing any more than I have to. DUN is still not working.

I have not received any calls from any potential employers. I also did not get a call from the firm I had the second interview with. That is not a surprise to me as it was made clear that a better candidate was being sought. I would be hired only as a last resort. I don't consider myself a whiz kid, but I think that it would be a terrible waste of resources if the ol' lavahead ended up as a hamburger engineer. If I can't be recognized as a worthy resource, then so be it.

Although all of my e-mail archives are gone, I happen to remember a piece of e-mail that I received last week. It was from some brain donor babe who pointed out that I spelled Weird Al Yankovic's name wrong. I surmise that she is more than just a fan of Weird Al. Anyone who would write and attempt to chastise the ol' lavahead for spelling Weird Al's name incorrectly is probably a stalker of the fatal attraction variety. I need to warn Weird Al. I have nothing against Weird Al. Did you know that we share the same alma mater? That's right. Can you guess where Ozzie Smith and John Madden went to college? And, they all lived in Convalescent City at one time. Sheesh! Of course, some alumni are destined for fame and fortune. Others like the ol' lavahead are just an embarrassment.

I finally received a slam letter from the firm I interviewed with. It looks as though they found someone else in the eleventh hour. Well, bully for them! I'm glad that they didn't get stuck with an incompetent fool like the ol' lavahead. Heck, he can't even fix his own computer. What a loser! I met baby's daughter after school and we took the bus to Kahala Mall. We met baby there and did our usual Wednesday night at Barnes & Noble. I don't even know why I continue to read those computer nerd magazines. I'm only a novice computer hobbyist at this point in time.

My computer is still unable to connect to the Net via DUN. As the days go on, I am getting more and more perturbed. I went to Computer City today to price a few modems, although I have no idea why. There is no need for me to purchase another modem since my computer is unable to interface with my present modem. And, have you seen the prices of modems these days? Sheesh! Later, I walked to Koko Marina with moms and helped her carry the groceries back. This is probably the most pleasant part of my non-descript life as an unemployed loser.

I think that my days as a self-proclaimed computer nerd are coming to an end. The fiasco with my computer has left a bad taste in my mouth. In fact, I'm losing complete interest in anything that is related to computers. Right now, I feel real stupid that I spent so much time and money to become a mediocre computer nerd. I should have bought a TV/VCR combo and a bunch of hurdy-gurdies. Then, I should start smoking and drinking again. If one is on a downhill slide, why not just go all the way?

My nephew and sister-in-law were home today because the little whizzer is sick again. The tube has been on all day. My nephew has been screaming and whining whining for most of the day. Actually, he does that whether he is sick or not. I sent out a few more employment queries, although it is plainly obvious that I'm just wasting paper.

There has been major shakeup at baby's working place due to massive incompetence. Perhaps it was good that baby stayed on because she has finally been promoted to a different position. She had been working as the receptionist. Now she will be underwriting loans. This has all come about because a few people have resigned, most likely because they were on the verge of getting fired.

I spent the day at baby's place. Baby's neighbor, Ray, let me borrow his old push-type lawn mower. He has a power mower, but I wanted to use the push mower. It took me several hours to cut the grass. I have to admit that I got quite a workout with the lawn mower. Baby and her daughter went to the beach to go boogy-boarding. So, I was basically left to my own devices. I also called the Fujitsu technical support line again. My patience has been depleting rapidly. I explained the whole problem again for the third time. I was told that a senior technician would call me within a few days.

Baby treated me to dinner at the California Pizza Kitchen in Kahala Mall. That was my reward for being a good yardboy. After dinner, we spent the rest of the evening at Barnes & Noble. I perused a variety of computer nerd books to see if I could find an answer to the DUN problem. I found nothing. Most of these books are fairly useless. Instead of spending $40 on one of these books, why not just read the on-line documentation that comes with Windows 95? It is basically the same thing.

 I spent most of the day playing Windows Solitaire. I took a short break to go over to baby's place and wash my six-four. Baby and her daughter were gone for the day. I ate lunch at Burger King yesterday and today. Whoppers, my way, of course! I sure missed my Whoppers. I can't even remember the last time I ate one. You know, there is nothing like a Whopper to make a lousy day better. Sheesh! I don't know what to make of this Windows Solitaire marathon. Somehow, when life gets unbearable, I always play Windows Solitaire. Frankly, I'm ready to break out Wolfenstein Nightmare. Do you remember those good ol' days when I played those games for hours? Do you see why I can't get a job?

 My bro was sick today. It looks like he contracted whatever his son had. Whassup wi' dat? Did somebody forget to wash their hands again? Maybe there's some truth in the old adage, "Whatever goes around, comes around." Do you remember when my bro yelled at baby and tried to blame her her for the cold he had? He's been sick for the last two weekends. Isn't justice great, Itlan? Say, whatever happened to The Tick? And, what about Speak? Maybe that is why I've been in a foul mood. I just hope that someone starts distributing the old episodes of The Tick on CD-ROM. Lord  knows I will need a little levity if I am going to keep from going insane.

My bro and his son were home today because they both were still sick. I spent most of the day playing Windows Solitaire again. My computer is still basically a doorstop since I have not heard from the Fujitsu technical support people. No potential employers have called either. I have been entertaining the prospect of applying for welfare. I can only hold the loan people off for so long, and it is becoming very obvious that I will be unemployed and penniless for a long time. I have to ask myself ... how did it all come to this?

Baby's daughter has not really adjusted to living in Hawai'i. She has become a little defiant, although she is still relatively well behaved. The problems are a little beyond skin-deep and have roots tracing back several years. She has been shuttling back and forth between her separated parents. During the Summer, she lives with her godparents. She is given a significant amount of attention by all of her family members. Naturally, she has become a little spoiled. We have already seen the results of an excessive form of that kind of child-rearing in the example of my nephew. Only time will tell, but I suspect that she may be returning to Oregon for good in the near future.

I sent out more employment queries, although sometimes I just have to laugh. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! Out of the numerous queries I sent out, I only received one slam letter. This is not a hopeful situation, my friends. This is just another example of the kinds of duffers who staff personnel offices. Where do these losers come from? How do they even get a job? Sheesh! I have come to the conclusion that I only have two choices left in life. One, I can apply for welfare as I mentioned yesterday. Or, two, I can sign up to learn a trade. That's right, I can learn a new vocation. Wouldn't it be funny if I enrolled and ended up in a computer class learning Microsoft Word? Speaking of Microsoft, did you see that picture of Bill wearing a cream pie for a hat?

My bro and his son were home again today. They are both still sick. I am beginning to suspect that my bro's current job has come to an end. The construction site is about a mile away. One of the bus routes passes right by the site, and so I have been able to monitor the progress. From what I have seen for the last month, the carpentry work should already be winding down. Moms said that my bro and his family will be moving on Sunday. They seem to be genuinely excited about the move. Oddly, I wish them well. I just hope that they can learn to appreciate how good life has been for them in the last eight years. Perhaps they will be able to see things in a much more humble fashion in the future.

After 30 minutes of trying to get my nephew "in the mood" to go to daycare, my sister-in-law decided that he was too sick to go anywhere. So, she took the day off. Moms and I left for Kahala Mall fairly early this morning to do some shopping. My sister-in-law took the "baby" to the doctor. Interestingly, the little whizzer was able to stand up fine and eat his Chicken McNuts meal from Mickey Dee's. In essence, the "baby" is being rewarded for acting sick. Little wonder why he is supposedly sick all the time. His mother receives little attention from my bro, which seems to increase her need to maintain the little whizzer's dependency on her. So, the sick one and his mother spent the rest of the day watching the tube.

I called Fujitsu technical support again because the promised service call never came about. I had to repeat the details of the problem once again. Then, I was told that a technician will call. I have now posted the problem on a Microsoft newsgroup because I need to find the solution quickly. Tonight was Barnes & Noble night. I was actually happy to get away from the Theatre of Stupidity. When I returned home, everyone was asleep. So, I managed to play a Windows Solitaire mini-marathon.

My sister-in-law was not able to get her son in the mood to do anything, so she told moms that he was real sick. She then asked moms to baby-sit the little whizzer today instead of taking him to daycare. So, moms had to cancel all of her plans for the day to take care of the little whizzer. As for me, what can I say? I am seriously considering replacing Explorer with Solitaire as the main shell for Windows. Aside from that, I have no life. I managed to go to town and restore my monk haircut. I also went to K-Mart and bought a phone and an answering machine. Man, do I know how to generate excitement, or what? Whew! I can really see why LoserNet is not a popular Web attraction. It's just plain boring, damnit. That is why the ol' lavahead is shutting down one of the mirror sites at the end of the month. Since I am running out of material to discuss about my daily non-existence, I may have to resort to reminiscing about old days long gone. Old guys love to reminisce, and the ol' lavahead is definitely getting old. Sheesh!

It's sinister kahuna Day! I'm not a superstitious guy, but I do know that the sinister force and the sinister kahuna both exist. I'm just glad that neither of them decided to toy with the oversized cranium. Sheesh! Moms and I took the bus town. She wanted to buy a few garden supplies from Wally's Garden Shop. We also went to Long's before returning home. After lunch, moms and I walked to Koko Marina to do the daily food shopping. I made myself scarce at moms' house because I just didn't really care to see the Turds. They have been making an inordinate amount of noise in the morning before they leave for work. I assume that this was deliberate. Little do they know that I am already awake. I am just waiting for them to leave.

My new computer is still functioning as a door stop. No one from Fujitsu technical support ever called me back. I have restored all of the functions on my old NEC notebook computer. LoserNet has e-mail services once again. I should have just kept using the old computer. Heck, I can't even get a job in the computer field. Why do I need a new computer? In fact, why didn't I just buy a Windows CE hand-held computer?

Did you have a nice Valentine's Day? I hope so. I spent most of the day at baby's place finishing up a variety of projects. Baby went to the gym in the morning. Her daughter started Hula lessons at Aunty Leilani's place. Baby had an appointment in Kaimuki so she and her daughter left before lunch. I also went shopping for some motor oil for my six-four. All of the stores in Hawai'i Kai were charging close to $2 per quart. This was an outrage. So, baby and I ended up driving to K-Mart. We bought quite a few things to make the trip worthwhile. Baby treated her daughter and the ol' lavahead to dinner at the Joy Garden restaurant in Koko Marina. It was an enjoyable meal.

My bro and sister-in-law began moving some of their stuff today. Even after several trips to their new place, there were still quite a few things left. I have no idea how they are going to fit all of that stuff into a one-bedroom apartment. That's going to have to be a part of their learning experience. Tomorrow is their big day. They will be moving out after their eight-year stay at moms' house.

I spent most of my day at baby's place although baby and her daughter were gone for most of the day. I just did not want to be around the commotion. I came back home for lunch. Fortunately, only moms was here with my nephew. Later, I returned home sometime around dinner. Only moms was here. The house was pretty much empty. I was even surprised to see that the "warehouse" was empty. Moms seemed a little despondent. I kept moms company as best as I could. Later, I walked over to baby's place. We walked back to moms' house so baby could visit moms. Moms seemed to be in better spirits.

Tomorrow, I begin the task of restoring moms' house to the way it should look. I will be painting the whole interior of the house in the next few weeks. There are a lot of repairs that must also be done. It is going to be tedious and time consuming. However, I want moms to feel comfortable in her own home.

I spent over 12 hours today working on moms' house. I filled, sanded and painted all day. The project is going to take a lot longer than I had originally anticipated. The repairs and surface preparation are time consuming. However, once I start on a project, I am firmly committed to it. In fact, I have not even had time to play Windows Solitaire.

 That reminds me ... Fujitsu technical support has still not called. I find that a little disheartening. Sad to say, I don't think I will ever buy another Fujitsu computer. Perhaps I should not buy any computer from this point on. What good is a computer anyway? I need to get back to a simple life. If I rid myself of these wretched computers and if I sell my six-four, I will only have my Bose Wave radio and Mr. Potato Head. My Bose Wave radio has been reinstated to full service again. I have been listening to classical music on the local public radio station. It is the only decent station I can receive in stereo. I am beginning to enjoy classical music. There is something very calming about it. Since the "warehouse" is now somewhat empty, I was able to place the Bose Wave in a better location for optimal sound. This has been the first time that I have been able to hear the Bose Wave as intended.

It was another 12-hour day for me. I have to admit that I am a lousy painter. I just can't seem to use a roller. So, I had to apply a second coat of paint to areas I had already done. Of course, the walls were in extremely bad shape to begin with. I tried to resurface some of the areas that were haphazardly repaired previously. These were patches that hid holes in the walls and doors that my bro had perpetrated a few years ago when he felt that it was necessary to take his anger out on inanimate objects. In all fairness to my bro, he has also helped moms maintain and repair the house during the last eight years.

I have not gone to the gym for three days now. This may also be adding to my stress. I have become obsessed with completing the painting project. If I work 12 hours a day, I can anticipate a three-week completion time. Originally, I anticipated doing piecemeal work over a longer period of time. Somehow, I thought that I would be employed within a reasonable period of time, so I accelerated my work schedule. Who was I kidding? I'll be unemployed for hella long time.

I only worked on the house for about five hours today. I had to go into town for my second job interview. As usual, I performed poorly in the interview. I am just not cut out for the working world. I cannot play the game properly. I am becoming more convinced that I need to seek out a peon job. I can put in my time and not worry about additional responsibilities beyond that. If I secured a computer nerd job, I would be involved with my work well beyond the standard work hours. Work projects will end up like this painting project. I will end up spending an inordinate amount of time and sacrifice my personal time.

Baby and I did not go to Barnes & Noble tonight. Baby is still recuperating from her 8.5 mile run early Monday morning. She was a participant in the Great Aloha Run. Baby and her daughter have come by moms' house every night since they no longer need to worry about upsetting the fragile world of the Ninja Turds. Moms seems to be adjusting well. She has even started to clean different parts of the house again. She said that she gave up on the cleaning a few years ago because there were so many junks all over the place.

I spent yet another full day painting the house. I have to admit that my patience is rapidly depleting. The work is tedious and monotonous. Of course, working 12 hours per day does little to make the project seem refreshing. I should actually be enjoying the monotony since I am a monotonous kind-of-a-guy. Needless to say, not much else has transpired since I invoked this project. I could go into laborious detail of how I clean my brushes and rollers. I could also discuss my philosophy about priming a surface prior to painting it. Who really cares? All I know is that I have become obsessed with this painting project. Even when I sleep, I am dreaming about what I will be doing the following day and how I will accomplish those tasks. Do cows dream of Milk Duds?

Guess what I did today? Yep, another 12-hour painting day. I am actually beginning to see some progress. As I do the assorted repairs and painting tasks, I cannot help but ponder the true existential nature of the whole experience. The task is mundane ... so mundane that Robbe-Grillet may even be compelled to write about it. This could be a whole new twist to his classic piece, In the Labyrinth.

Baby's friend is visiting Hawai'i along with her boyfriend. They flew in from Portland yesterday. Baby and her daughter will be spending most of the weekend with them. I, on the other hand, will be spending all weekend with my paint brushes. Well, at least I'm not sitting in the closet in seclusion.

I almost lost my mind today. I don't know why. I think that my 12-hour painting sessions are getting to me. Moms even commented that she was getting a little worried. Perhaps she thought that I was beginning to cross that fine line into the virtual hermitage of insanity like my Uncle Mike did years ago.

Baby and her daughter went to the Mariah Carey concert tonight at the Aloha Stadium. I stayed home and painted into the night. I crave the monotony of this mundane task. It is so boring that it is sickening. Yet, I am beginning to experience a sense of perverse pleasure. This is the same pleasure experienced by monks during penance. I enjoy being the low man on the totem pole. I love the sickening decadence of the loser's life. The pain is pleasure. The pleasure is pain. And, I ... I am The Keeper ... Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!

More painting. More pain. More pleasure. The Keeper of Lost Lives. The ol' lavahead. The oversized cranium. The oversized pumicehead. The unemployed fool. One and the same. The beloved Bose Wave radio plays classical music all day. I paint by Prokofiev. I spackle by Stravinsky. And, I lament at the Wailing Wall by myself. Sheesh! For the most part, it is just the ol' lavahead and the confounded roaches. Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. My next obsession ... errr, I mean project ... is to exterminate all those damned roaches. Shouldn't I feel at home since I used to live at the Roach Motel? Not exactly. The only roaches at the Roach Motel were the tenants.

Baby and her daughter came by to visit late this afternoon. Moms invited them to stay for dinner. It was nice to be able to enjoy dinner without any scenes from Theatre of Stupidity. Ah, the simple life. I found two cans of roach spray, so I am ready to begin the roach extermination project. Busy, busy, busy. That's my middle name ... the ol' busy, busy, busy lavahead.

I was thinking ... something I am not used to doing anymore ... and I wondered how I would end this journal. Would I end it abruptly like the competitor did? Could I end a three-year saga with just one simple paragraph? Yes, I could. The key, of course, is banality. This journal (and my life) is ... so banal. Banality. I have even resorted to using incomplete sentences. Alas, I am finally moving into the mainstream. Who would have suspected that I would eventually sell out? I think that I need some rest. A long rest. Speaking of selling out, I received a copy of the Internet Explorer 4.0 CD in the mail. Thanks, Bill! That pie in the face has sure invoked some benevolence on Bill's part. Since my new computer is basically a doorstop, I figured that I should install Bill's Crashing Browser. When one is on a downhill slide, why stop? Pick up the pace (not the picanté sauce) and ram any fool that gets in the way! Booyah!

I had another interview this afternoon. I left home earlier than I had originally anticipated so I would get there on time. It turned out that I had an hour to kill once I arrived downtown, so I visited baby at work. She took her lunch break and we walked around town essentially doing nothing. The interview was not exactly an interview. I have been invited to teach part-time at a local university. I use the term "invited" in an optimistic fashion, although nothing has been finalized. I will be looking over the curriculum and submitting my subject preferences within the next three weeks. If approved, I may be teaching on the campus as early as May.

I am becoming more inclined to accept my lot in life. I need to seek out a job that I would really enjoy. You thought that I was going to mention a career at Burger King again, didn't you? No, I now believe that my call is to work at Starbuck's Coffee. Yesterday, I thought I should work at Long's Drugs. It's too bad that the Bose factory is not in Hawai'i. I would truly enjoy working on the Bose Wave radio assembly line. Actually, I could work on the assembly line for a toothpick factory. It's all the same to me. Sheesh! Well, the carpets in moms' house were cleaned today. However, I decided that I should get a head start on the roach situation. I sprayed the couch and the coffee table. Within minutes, roaches were literally dropping out of the woodwork. Whoa! I spent the rest of the evening spraying various items of furniture. The fumes of insecticide have definitely affected my cortical functions.

I had a phone interview this morning with a local HMO. The interview was unassuming at best. I was the dark horse candidate as someone else was already chosen for the position. Since I did not have a Microsoft MCSE certification, I was not able to upset the current choice. I have no idea why there has been so much emphasis placed on Microsoft certifications. That is the power Bill has over everyone. He says, "Jump!" and all the minions ask, "How high?" Speaking of HMOs, there are a million HMOs in Hawai'i. We supposedly have a good health care system here. One has to wonder, though. Are people in Hawai'i spending all their free time at the doctor's office? How else can these HMOs stay in business?

I have been getting a little burned out on the painting project. So, my productivity has decreased. The numbers of repairs has also slowed down the process. In addition to painting, I am also doing any of the necessary repairs. The list has ballooned considerably. The situation is further confounded by previous half-ass attempts at repairs. However, it seems that I will have plenty of time to finish this project.

Another day of banality. It is banality that drives my desire to exist in an unassuming fashion. The only true power I can exercise is limited to the roach world. I am their nemesis ... their sinister kahuna, as it were. In fact, I am the Keeper because it is I who controls their destiny with a can of unscented Raid roach spray. The closest thing we have to a can of Raid in human circles is a Mac-10.

Banality is also the reason that this journal will officially come to end in two days. Mind you, LoserNet will continue on ad infinitum. The fine line between "official" and "unofficial" is both semantic and moot. The Keepers ramblings will also continue. So, what do I mean when I allude to the journal's demise? Heck, I don't know. I could be speaking in tongues and have lost something in translation. Or, my mind could have snapped while I was not looking. Virtual insanity. Interesting concept, eh? As I lose my mind, you will be right here with me! Watch as the foam develops along the ridge of my mouth and I begin drooling like a dog gone mad! This is real life like you've never seen it before! Yes!

I spent three hours chiseling away on about an inch thick layer of Fixall along the bathroom window. This was one of my bro's early attempts to emulate Bob Villa. Everyone has to learn the hard way. I'm sure that my first attempts at anything had less than desirable results. My bro had layered the Fixall over a previous half-ass job done by pops. In a way, this mimics society in general. Rather than strip away the original and shoddy base, we continue to add layer upon layer to the existing infrastructure. Within the core, the primitive structure still exists and is crumbling to dust. That is also what we do to our minds. Rather than strip away the old personality, we tend to build upon the original and faulty child-like personality. The adult personality is like the Fixall. The rock hard exterior attempts to encapsulate and contain the faulty core. However, like Fixall, the exterior is porous and old personality can seep out through the weak spots. Virtual insanity.

Baby and her daughter came over for dinner tonight. Later, moms and I went on a roach hunt. We sprayed more furniture and the roaches were literally dropping out of the woodwork again. Moms tends to save all kinds of junks like paper sack and old cardboard boxes. That is also where we found the most roaches. So, everything will now be going to the recycler. My bro has the same pack rat mentality. All that hoarding only resulted in one thing ... a proliferation of roaches.

There is almost a comedic stupidity to my life that requires little or no justification. What more can be said? Baby and I took the bus to town this afternoon. I wanted to get a copy of CleanSweep at Office Depot. How could I go wrong for $14? A new version of the software came out so the old copies were on sale. Then, we went to Ala Mo's to look around before returning home. Later in the evening, we went to Barnes & Noble for a relaxing evening. Little did I know what kind of havoc CleanSweep was going to wreak on the poor ol' lavahead.

There is much more to be said about absolutely nothing, but that kind of banality should be spread out over a period of time. We can't have too much fun in one day, can we? LoserNet is coming apart at the seams. As CEO of LoserNet, I have been derelict in my duties. I have piloted LoserNet into obscurity with reckless abandon. Perhaps I should resign from LoserNet. Nah, a good captain goes down with his ship. And, down I will go! Hele on, braddah!

No longer supported by LoserNet, the ol' renegade lavahead continues to ramble in a banal fashion. Join him as he approaches new lows in journalistic history with more idiotic banality.

The Keeper of Lost Lives: Return of the Stoneface Mack

Starring:
The Keeper of Lost Lives ... Tralfaz
Moms ... Herself
Baby ... Herself

© Copyright 1998 by The Keeper of Lost Lives
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