The Exodus Files
Heat

Sunday January 1, 2006

The start of another new year is upon us, a line of distinction which is purely arbitrary. Nothing has changed over the period of 24 hours. The celebration of the New Year is simply a consumerist ploy to sell more useless shit in order that the unwitting consumer can accomplish the so-called "New Year's Resolutions." I, for one, have made no resolutions since I could not fulfill the ones made several decades ago. I am concentrating on one goal, albeit a good resolution. Freedom is still my primary directive.

I did nothing for the whole New Year's weekend. I was supposed to attend a New Year's Eve party in Makakilo at Pseudo-professor Dorothy's place. However, she apparently disappeared without a trace. Pseudo-professors Mike and Ralph were also dumbfounded. In all honesty, I fully expected that to happen. I'm certain that Pseudo-professor Dorothy had lapsed into major depression and went into seclusion. She did not return anyone's phone calls. I decided to do the same, sans the depression. Moms called to invite me over to dinner. I declined. I plan to stick to my vow. I will no longer visit on the weekends.

I neglected to mention that I asked Robert about his gym membership when I saw him last week. From what I could glean, I believe that he has not been to the gym at all since he abruptly stopped going after his alleged injury. He also told me, "People think I'm in my thirties." I assumed that "people" meant babes. He was sporting a new Bluetooth headset to interface with his new Blackberry wireless device.

My level of stress has been increasing. Frankly, the latter has been affecting all aspects of my life. I have had recurring doubts about the sale of Chez Loser, most likely because of the fear of not finding any reasonably priced rental unit. With 2.5 months left, I find myself in a quandary of major proportion. Money market rates curiously dropped at the end of last week. The so-called "interest rate inversion" (i.e., short-term rates passed long term rates) has also got me wondering. I have now become painfully aware of the financial dichotomy between Anonder and I. The earnings from my investments will now make up a good percentage of my income. However, I am at the mercy of interest rates. A slight decline will put me in a deficit scenario.

I often wonder how people like Robert will survive in future. I know so many people like him. With only a few good years left, they have nothing to show for themselves. They spend every dime that they earn. A few people, like Robert, have no savings. These fools also believe that they will be able to continue working well into their seventies and eighties. What a crock of shit!

Mr. Ray sent e-mail greetings. He also updated his blog. I am inclined to agree with him that the new year will bring many new adventures, although I don't think that the latter will be pleasant for the most part. We are all trying to survive, and that's become a difficult task.

Thomas Crapper Day 2006 Update

Monday, January 2nd, was a holiday. I did absolutely nothing except for a short jaunt on the bus to go to the gym in town. On Tuesday, I departed for Hawai'i Kai in my truck at 11:45am to visit moms. My nephew was home for the day. Like his parents, he spent his time in front of the tube. Moms warmed up leftovers for lunch. Later, I walked down to the gym in Koko Marina. When I returned, I spent a few more minutes chatting with moms. I left at 4pm. Moms gave me leftovers to take home. I spent the rest of the evening in front of the tube. I was significantly unnerved by subconscious issues. Thus, I ended up driving to Safeway to buy another bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. I can't really say that I enjoyed sipping half of the bottle. It did little to quell my geriatric anxiety. The latter is what I suspect to be bubbling to the surface of my psyche. The realtors came by to remove the assorted decorations from the unit above me, possibly indicating that the unit has been sold.

I departed for town at 9am on Wednesday. I spent most of the day in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill, only leaving briefly to restore my military haircut and to go to the gym. I finally opened the so-called "gateway" to the current journal. One critical chapter was left deleted as a deterrent for undesirables. Rob, the former IT guy at the Asylum, responded to my last e-mail. He has put his place up for sale. Lori also sent e-mail. She has a friend visiting from the mainland for a few weeks. I could only assume that we won't be going surfing for a while. The surf conditions have been flat anyway. The North Shore has had major swells in the last few weeks. However, I do not want to travel that far.

I visited moms on Thursday. Moms had bought lunch from Kozo Sushi. We chatted for a while. Then, I walked to the gym at Koko Marina. The central air conditioning for the building was not working, so my workout was not enjoyable. The air was completely stale. I also managed to send off a gift to Shirley, a $50 Old Navy gift card.

Incidentally, here is an excerpt of the e-mail from Danno (in Puerto Rico):

Thank you for providing me with interesting reading material for the past ten years. Through all of the changes that I have experienced in the last ten years, through all of my ups and downs, thank you for providing me with in insiders look, on a daily basis, into the life of a person who is not much different than myself. For every problem as well as every high note I encountered, I was reminded that there were others in the world who were experiencing similar things. Knowing these things in a real time environment is akin to talking to your family during a time of crisis or good times,and not having to say a thing.

I have to admit that I was quite touched. I received e-mail from Kai (former pseudo-professor at the Diploma Mill). He's back in China after a stint in Malaysia. He has been unemployed since mid-Summer. So, he's apparently out having a good time. He also hooked up with a babe in China.

On Friday, I was back at the Diploma Mill. There was a message from Pseudo-professor Dorothy. She had just returned from visiting her daughter in Cali. I spent most of the day on the computer. That's really all that I have to do in life, and that's really about all that I enjoy doing. I also made my obligatory visit to the gym. I say "obligatory" because the gym is not an option or a luxury. I was supposed to meet Pseudo-professor Glenn and his wife for the Art Walk. I decided to return to Chez Loser early instead. I have had no desire to pad up my non-existent social life. Frankly, I am moving further and further into social isolation as the days go on.

I also discovered that my one and only class at The Seminary was down to three students. I dispatched e-mail to the Dean to inquire of the status of the class. I assumed that the class was going to be nixed. Thus, my income will drop even further. I listed my pathetic furniture in the free classified again. I thought that I would give this option another try before just donating all of it to the Salvation Army.

Rather than panic about my situation, I reflected upon my previous rough pro forma analysis. I noted, too, that my Social Security and Medicare contributions for the year 2004 amounted to $3,100 and some change. Since I will be making less earned income, then I will be paying out less for both. In the end, the sale of Chez Loser may not be in my best interest. At best, it will be almost equal in advantage as selling the place. We've already learned that Hawai'i has the highest rents in the nation, soon to be even higher when the property tax increase goes into effect. Therefore, I am, as I stated previously, caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. My only true viable option could very well center on becoming homeless. Nonetheless, I will proceed as though I am going to divest Chez Loser. I will continue to sell off my useless possessions (e.g., furniture) and make all of the minor necessary repairs. Mind you, I will not be bothered to live in an empty townhouse if I don't sell the place. I do absolutely no entertaining, so no one will ever know.

I spent the rest of Friday evening in front of the damned tube. On Saturday, I departed for town at 12:30pm. I spent an hour in one of the student computer labs at the Diploma Mill before going to the gym. Foolishly, I sent in my $12.50 to renew my AARP membership. I have gained nothing from that membership except the AARP Magazine.

I have come to realize that my truck has been a source of significant cash outlays. I knew when I first decided to buy a new vehicle that I was going to drain myself financially. I justified the purchase because I need reliable transportation when I am not riding the bus. In addition, I found that used vehicles about a year old were not much cheaper. What I need to do is drop the comprehensive and collision rider on my insurance. Then, when the truck is a little over two years old, I will stop taking it in for dealer servicing (required for the factory warranty). Incidentally, petrol prices have hovered at $3.59 per gallon for the lowest octane.

It's easy to see that I am getting nowhere closer to emancipating myself. Rather than find freedom, I am becoming more enslaved to my useless possession, to Chez Loser, and to wage slavery. I've also discovered that I may have to file estimated taxes from this point forward, which means that I will have to pay some token amount quarterly for the interest earned from my investments. What a pain in the ass!

Sunday was more of the same. However, I was able to sell one of my beds thanks to the free classified ad. On Monday, I drove to Hawai'i Kai in the morning to pick up moms. We drove to Ala Moana. Moms bought another pair of shoes at Robins. Then, we ate lunch at Patti's Chinese Kitchen. Moms was fatigued, so we returned to Hawai'i Kai. I walked down to the gym in Koko Marina to do my usual workout. Then, I had to drive to town in the late afternoon. I had called The Seminary, only to discover that my one-and-only class was not cancelled. I had to quickly compose a syllabus.

On Tuesday, I had to wake up at 5am. I caught the express bus to town and transferred to a street bus. I arrived at The Seminary at 7:30am. My class had only five students, all of whom were virtually asleep. I was able to finally obtain a copy of the textbook. The Seminary is quite laid back. I am not too worried. The only thing that bothers me is that Tuesday and Thursday are supposed to be beach days.

The early morning express bus was quite crowded, which made me realize how fortunate I really am. Some of those people have been doing that routine for decades. I complain about wage slavery, but I have not been locked into that kind of routine. In essence, I have about as much freedom as is humanly possible for someone who is not wealthy. Yet, what is freedom? In my spare time, I have nowhere to go unless I spend exorbitant amounts of dough. Even then, the cost outweighs any pleasurable outcome.

I also set up another message board (i.e., Speak! VI). The new version is much more sophisticated than all of the prior versions, although I seriously doubt that anyone will participate. The readership of the journal has declined to near-zero ever since I discontinued the practice of making daily entries. Mind you, I was tempted to return to the daily format. I have had to omit many of my thoughts because of the abridged format.

Pseudo-professor Ralph had attended the Diploma Mill commencement for the Winter term at the Waikiki Shell. He said that he saw Shirley there. So, I assumed that she had participated in the ceremony. I have not seen or heard from her since she stopped by on December 25th.

I spent two days working on Pseudo-professor Mike's old Windows 98 computer. He wanted to archive files from the computer to his USB flash drive. However, Windows 98 either froze up or continually crashed. My services were a barter exchange to make up for the books that Kevin had stolen and sold.

Friday was quite mundane. I spent most of the day in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. When I returned to Chez Loser, I spent the rest of the evening in front of the tube. On Saturday, I left for town at 12:30pm. I spent an hour at the faculty computer room at the Diploma mill before I went to the gym. I spent yet another boring evening in front of the tube. I took a short tube break and drove to Safeway to purchase a few items. I gave in to temptation and purchased a bottle of Sutter Home Chardonnay. I wasted no time popping the cork. I derive no satisfaction from the fire water, yet I continue to imbibe.

Sunday was more of the same. I took the bus to town and sepnt an hour in one of the student computer labs at the Diploma Mill. After that, I went to the gym. I had listed my Pier 1 rattan settée for sale. There were a number of calls. I ended up selling it when I returned to Chez Loser. Only the Papasan chair is left in the living room along with my widescreen LCD tube sitting on the floor. Quite a pathetic sight.

Moms called early Monday morning to arrange to meet at Kahala Mall. I departed from Chez Loser at 9am and caught the bus to town. Since this day was a holiday, the Diploma Mill offices were closed. I transferred to a bus destined for Kahala Mall. I arrived a little early, so I bought a cup of coffee and perused Barnes & Noble. Moms and I ate lunch at Panda Express as usual. The Mongolian Beef was spicy hot. I was sweating profusely. After lunch, moms and I sat outside and chatted for about an hour. Then, we walked to the bus stop. I waited with moms until the bus arrived. It was late by 20 minutes. I caught the bus back to town. Gym time, and back to Chez Loser. Sitting in my place is somewhat depressing since I have no furniture. I ended up driving to Safeway to purchase another bottle of wine. I sat in front of the tube, sipping the wine, for the rest of the evening.

Moms told me about an article in the Monday paper concerning the horrific rental situation in Hawai'i. I managed to find the article on the Net. I am becoming even more distraught about not being able to find rental housing once I sell Chez Loser. There was another article of interest in the Tuesday paper. A few "experts" are predicting a crisis when the baby boomers like myself become decrepit senior citizens. I have previously predicted such a scenario. It does not take a soothsayer to see a crisis developing. Although people are living longer, they are not necessarily healthy. Drugs are used extensively to prolong people's lives. There will not be enough long-term care facilities to handle the influx of decrepit geezers.

I visited moms in Hawai'i Kai on Wednesday morning. I brought a couple of new pillows that I had lying around since I sold one of the beds. Moms gave me a small Jade plant to put out on my lanai. I also borrowed the vacuum cleaner again. Moms and I chatted until noon. I left for Kane'ohe after that. After unloading everything, I caught the bus to town. I went to the gym, but only managed to do a brief lats workout. All of the elliptical machines were being used, so I skipped my cardio workout. I felt a tinge of guilt. I have been doing a cardio workout daily. Why can't I miss a day without feeling guilty?

Since I parted ways with the dreadful Asylum, I have been keenly aware of my previous life of always being rushed. I was running around like a chicken without a head. The latter life-style became so ingrained that I only felt worthy when I was overworked and stressed out. My life has changed since then. I no longer lead a hectic life. I try to take my time when going from place to place. Naturally, the bus schedule usually circumvents those efforts. For the most part, however, I still try to maintain a slower pace. I see people rushing about all around me, yet they get to their destination no faster than I do.

I met Rob, the former IT guy at the Asylum, for drinks at Indigo Happy Hour. The food was really good, and the jackass bartender was not there. Rob has listed his place for $600,000 and some change. He will have to split the proceeds three ways. He has not been looking for another place to live. Rob seems to believe that Internet Jon will come through with a job for him and may also be able to provide a two-bedroom rental owned by Internet Jon's family. So far, Internet Jon has not come through with anything. I was able to catch the North Shore express bus close to 6pm. The bus apparently makes some of the same stops as the Kane'ohe express bus. I now have another option, thank goodness. I spent the rest of the evening in front of the tube. For some real excitement, I went through and set the channel labels. Am I livin' large, or what?

The virtually empty townhouse has caused me some minor grief. I feel as though I am living in the projects. Like a fool, I began looking at the Pier 1 Web site. I saw myself falling prey to the idiocy that makes people buy shitty furniture. Later, I typed "shitty furniture" into a search engine. The resulting links were entertaining. As I've mentioned before, I really don't want any shitty furniture. I could afford to buy good furniture, but the thought makes me ill. Good furniture is too expensive. And, what kind of pleasure would I derive from it? I only sit in the Papasan chair. Yet, I became fixated with the idea of purchasing some other furniture to put in the living room. I even considered purchasing one of those futons complete with wood frame from K-Mart. Yuck! Chez Loser would look worse than a pathetic dormitory room. By the way, Wednesday January 18th marked the start of the final two months before I can officially put Chez Loser on the market. I have only four pieces of furniture, including the Papasan chair, another chair, a bed, and a plant stand which I use as an end table.

Overall, my possessions are quite limited. I have no tableware, per se. I have a small Corningware® bowl, one knife, one butter knife, a pair of chopsticks, a corkscrew, a can opener, one wine glass, a coffee mug, three plastic cups, and three plastic storage containers. My small appliances consist of a microwave oven, a coffee maker, and a rice cooker. I also have the Samsung® LCD widescreen tube, a cheap DVD player, and the cheap powered multimedia speakers with subwoofer. The coffee mug, by the way, has been with me since 1984. Susan had given it to me as a gift when we broke up. There is an ogre-like character on it with the words, "No More Mr. Nice Guy." I have very little in the way of clothes and shoes. In fact, I am contemplating the idea of donating most of it to Goodwill, especially the wage slave clone outfits (read: Dockers®) that were required by the Asylum. As I see it, the divestiture of my useless crap will be easily facilitated. Soon I will have barely anything, just like Anonder.

On Thursday, I called the attorney who did all the paperwork to settle moms' estate. Specifically, I wanted information to help moms prepare her tax return data. The attorney called back and left a message. Moms will have to file Form 709 in addition to regular tax forms. The sale of the house to my bro will also complicate matters. According to the attorney, moms will not owe any taxes. I worked up preliminary calculations that proved the latter to be true. Moms will have to find an accountant to prepare the final taxes, though. Even if moms owed any taxes, my bro and I should split the amount.

Pseudo-professor Mike had invited me to a movie and dinner along with a few other people. Dinner was to be held at the condo owned by his babe (read: mistress). I did not join them for the movie because it coincided with my gym time. I also did not attend dinner because it was too late in the evening. I was up from 5am in the morning because of my early class at The Seminary.

I watched an interesting E! documentary about the life of Jenna Jameson on Friday night. I would have more of a commentary if I was affected by the babe situation. However, I will say that it is quite obvious why baby became a success. Babes wield incredible power over all guys. Incidentally, I will have to start amassing a huge hurdy-gurdy DVD library soon. That's as close as I will get to any babe since I am a decrepit old loser. Sheesh!

Some of my tax information arrived in the mail on Friday, so I began compiling my tax returns by putting the data into the spreadsheet template. This will be crucial insofar as the disposition of Chez Loser. I will be able to make a better pro forma estimate of my financial situation. That's what I did on Saturday when I arrived in town. I spent an hour at the student computer lab at the Diploma Mill. Then, I went to the gym. I spent the evening in front of the tube.

Moms called on Sunday morning to invite me over for dinner. I drove to Hawai'i Kai at 3pm. First, I went to the gym. My bro and his family were gone when I stopped by to visit moms. I ate dinner and briefed moms about what the attorney had told me concerning the gift tax. Moms also gave me a lot of leftovers to take home.

On Monday, I took the bus to Kahala Mall after my class at the Diploma Mill. Moms and I ate at Panda Express as usual. Then, we sat outside and chatted. I had performed some initial tax calculations for moms. I tried my best to explain it all, but moms had difficulty understanding. Primarily, I wanted to compile all the data to make it easier for the person who will ultimately be preparing the final tax returns for moms.

I had an interesting chat with Professor Manny at the Diploma Mill. He has sold his condo. He and his wife are now renting a place for $2,000 per month. I am pretty sure that they plan to leave Hawai'i within a year. I also had a chat with Professor Darwin about how much he has put away for retirement. He said that he has about $2,500 in a Roth IRA and $40,000 in a 401(k) plan. He and his wife now rent a place. He is 42 years old. I was shocked to hear how little he has put away, considering that he also has a young daughter.

I ran into Joe, one of Lori's co-workers, outside my class at the Diploma Mill earlier in the week. He said that he is now taking classes because he resigned. Lori had told me prior about the political strife on the job. Later, I corresponded with Lori by e-mail to tell her that I had run into Joe. I also corresponded with Rob, the former IT guy at the Asylum. He hasn't sold his place yet.

I discovered that I may have made an accounting error in the journal. I looked back at all of my financial records and realized that I have not been maintaining stasis. In fact, I had actually realized a net surplus (about $17,000) over the last two years. However, the surplus is soon to be a thing of the past as I will be required to draw heavily from savings in order to remain solvent.

The new owners of the unit upstairs of Chez Loser began moving in Friday evening. They were making several trips and dropping small items off. My reprieve from idiocy will soon be over. The fact that it was raining heavily all week merely added to the somber state of affairs. I decided to drive to Long's and purchase a couple of bottles of wine. Fortunately, the Corbett Canyon label was on sale for $2.99 per bottle. What a deal! My life is going down the crapper anyway. Heck, this is Thomas Crapper Day! Yes, he invented the flush toilet (read: crapper). Well, here it is, January 27th, and what do I have to say for myself?

My life has settled into a sickening, albeit benign, routine. I spend my days engaged in wage slavery. Then, in the evenings, I spend most of the time in front of the tube. On my days off, I still end up in town, usually in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. My social life has dwindled down to nothing. I decline to participate in any social activities. On the weekends, I spend my time alone, usually doing nothing. Often, I simply engage in analysis of my situation. I tend to ruminate on a variety of possible scenarios and solutions. I go to the gym every day. I have no choice since I must take a shower there. Still no hot water in Chez Loser. My meals are simple. I eat bread and peanut butter for breakfast and for snacks. For lunch, I normally bring along four granola bars. Dinners still consist of frozen vegetables, rice, and canned tuna, salmon, or beans. I have also been trying to purchase more fresh fruit to eat. I still have a few vices, namely Spam and hot dogs, although I do eat either regularly.

Obviously, I do not have to live in the manner that I have chosen. Asceticism is a choice, but the latter is a prudent survival decision as well. I could easily spend money like there was no tomorrow in an attempt to satisfy my every whim. Only an incremental amount of contentment would be gained by such a foolish move. In the end, I would end up depleting my savings. Then, I'd be in deep shit. I am inclined to agree almost wholeheartedly with Anonder's subtopic titled, "Happiness and the Purpose of Life," in his treatise, "Philosophical Fragments."

I have been losing interest in keeping up the journal, most likely because I no longer maintain it daily. My life has also become so mundane. I have nothing new to disclose. A few armchair psychiatrists may be quick to diagnose my problem as one of chronic depression. That could very well be. The majority of people in modern society are chronically depressed. That's why everyone is on meds. They are all on Prozac or Welbutrin. The only real cure is to exit society. It is not surprising that loners (e.g., monks, hermits, etc.) are often viewed as psychotic. Anonder brought up the latter point in "Philosophical Fragments." The people who make those kinds of assessments are usually suffering from so-called "co-dependency issues." Little wonder why they fear and even despise those who are truly independent. Not surprisingly, I have found little use for friendship. I only deal with people on a casual acquaintance level. That's really about all one can expect from society.

As an afterword to my end-of-year summary, I would like to state that the last five or so years have been a true lesson in foolishness. I believe that most of my time was spent grasping at straws mainly because of the babe situation (read: mid-life crisis). It's hard to fully embrace that the babe situation is over because the latter is a phase of life issue dealing with one's mortality. Specifically, growing old both physically and mentally, looking old, and becoming decrepit are not easily accepted. Right now, I see this in Robert, as he desperately tries to cling to what's left of his lost youth. I can tell that he still believes he will hook up with a young hottie. Well, I have certainly not accepted my fate blindly. Rather, I am gradually going through resignation with mild resistance. By pushing myself down Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to the survival level, I have been able to avoid the issue almost entirely. My new priority is semi-retirement and my exit from the madness of society. This is the focus of the journal from this point forward.

Hermitage. My propensity toward misanthropy has increased exponentially. I have come to despise people in general, mainly because of their inconsiderate attitudes and uncivil behavior. No surprise that my compassion for humanity is close to non-existent. If only I could live alone out in the middle of nowhere, I keep telling myself. A hermitage is what I need, just like The Master's place. There really is no compelling reason to attach oneself to any part of society. In the movie, "Heat," DeNiro stated, "Never become attached to anyone or anything that you cannot leave in 30 seconds if the heat is around the corner." I found the latter to be profound advice. In the days of old, life may have meant a lot more to people. Today, life is just another disposable commodity. So are people. For the time being, Chez Loser has become a hermitage. There are no visitors. No one is ever invited. I no longer keep the front door open. For the most part, it looks as though no one even lives there. What is the purpose of all of this vanity?

V-Day 2006 Update

I spent most of the weekend of January 27th in a drunken stupor. I kept going over the same plan to divest all of my useless possessions. I have no idea why I must continue to review this matter since it's a done deal. I am certain that Anonder did not spend even a fraction of time comtemplating the divestiture of his beloved sausage-shaped sofa.

I decided to mummify my Myspace account on Sunday January 29th. I did not archive the blog. What's the sense? It's a useless piece of shit. By Monday, there will be no trace of the ol' lavahead on Myspace. This move is essential for my ultimate goal to exit society. I have also tentatively decided to terminate one of the LoserNet mirror sites in the near future. The less exposure that I have, the better it is for me. By the way, did you celebrate Thomas Crapper Day?

My new upstairs neighbors spent almost all weekend moving shit in, although they have no furniture. Naturally, they were completely oblivious to the fact that I live right below them. They were continuously dropping what sounded like heavy farm implements on the floor. What is more idiotic was the ensuing slammin' soirée. Each ttem that was placed in the cupboard was accompanied by a loud slamming of the cupboard door. Why not leave the door open while putting the shit into the cupboard? That is why I have no patience with (or tolerance for) people. They are all brain donors. With that, I made a mental commitment to sell Chez Loser.

Moms and I met for lunch at Kahala Mall on Monday. We ate at Panda Express as usual. I only briefly told moms about my plan to sell Chez Loser. I did not want to cause moms to worry about me needlessly. I also gave moms the tax forms that I had completed. All of the figures were included to make it easier the person who will ultimately prepare the final tax forms. In all honesty, my nerves were quite frayed by the late afternoon. I decided to send e-mail to Debbie, my realtor, to express my desire to sell Chez Loser in March. I had to commit before I had a chance to change my mind. I was more in control of my senses than the day before, so I inquired about purchasing another place. I am interested in a small leasehold condo like those found in the Executive Center downtown. There is no way that I could rent a place. My students have told me that they are paying between $1,200 and $2,000 per month for essentially something no larger than a phone booth. My plan is to hold on to the new place for two to four years. Thus, I will look into more creative forms of financing such (read: ARMs). I am looking at making a capital gain equivalent to what it would have cost me in rent over the two-year period. I believe that the latter goal is attainable in view of the fact that all new condo developments in town are starting at $400,000 per unit. I am planning to sell Chez Loser for something close to $390,000 or so. An insane figure for a non-upgraded unit, although that's the going price now. I will easily be able afford another place once I cash out of Chez Loser.

By Tuesday, I was quite apprenhensive about my decision. The prospect of ending up homeless was not inviting. Yet, I was not compelled to change my mind. In fact, I became even more convinced that I am doing the "right" thing. When is this madness going to end? All I want to do is spend some time with moms and possibly go surfing. Aside from that, I just need a place to sleep. I am caught in a society that is fraught with greed. The moneychangers have us completely enslaved.

The madness of our society has become malignant. The Shrub sycophants are beating the wardrums once again, this time to get everyone to lockstep in the march to war against Iran. We are hearing the same bullshit that put us in the big mess in Iraq, a sure indication that something else is afoot. The real problem is that the moronic masses will be fooled again with the same old rhetoric. My guess is that Peak Oil is finally going to wield its ugly head. That's why Osama has popped out of nowhere again. Why can't anyone see these tired old patterns? Can you say, "brain donors"?

On Thursday, I rushed back to Kane'ohe on the bus after my class at The Seminary. Someone was moving stuff into the unit upstairs when I arrived. From what I can ascertain, there is a young couple residing there. The person who was moving the boxes of shit appeared to be the mother of one of the latter. I believe that the parents of the couple were the ones who purchased the place. People have been visiting every day, most them in their early twenties. On Tuesday evening, a group of them were sitting on the wall of the balcony overlooking my lanai.

I stopped by Lori's place to drop off a chair and the plant stand that I was using as an end table. We chatted briefly before a neighbor dropped by. Lori is looking very good, and that's not just considering her age. She still has a hot body. That reminded me of why we used to do da wild thing so much. Naturally, that's all water under the bridge. I then visited moms. We ate lunch. Then, I walked to the gym in Koko Marina. I drove to Ala Moana at 4pm and parked there. I caught the bus to town and spent some time at the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. Two kids were in there unattended, which really irked me. I ate two bean burritos (green sauce, no red sauce) from Taco Bell for dinner. I have no had fast food in such a long time. Overpriced, but I enjoyed it. I returned to Ala Moana at 7pm. I bought a few grocery items and a bottle of wine at Foodland before I drove home. The morons upstairs were making all kinds of noise, At 11pm, the husband (or boyfriend) was hammering the wall. Later, the couple had a brief shouting match. I was trying to get to sleep at the time. Needless to say, I was not able to sleep at all after being awakened several times. The situation will only get worse.

I called the Human Resources loser at the Asylum to ask about my W-2 form which I need to file my tax return. The clown claimed that he had mailed it, but it was returned. A likely story. I neglected to mention that Samhain had sold an half-interest in the Asylum to another family member. After the dump goes under, Samhain will end up missing a hand or two.

Lori has been trying to sell me on the idea of buying an annuity. When I chatted with her on Thursday, she said that she was finally starting up an annuity. Mind you, her husband is a financial planner for an insurance company. Judging from what I've read on the Net, the commission on annuity sales is fairly high. At times I wonder if I can really trust anyone. Lori has a dream life right now, but the latter is quite expensive to maintain. The pressure to maintain a level of income to preserve that life-style must be stressful.

On Friday evening, I stayed in town for the Art Walk. I joined Pseudo-professor Glen and his wife, along with Pseudo-professor Mike and another Diploma Mill faculty member. There were a lot of hotties out, not that I really noticed. I did not enjoy the overall experience. I was glazed over during most of the small talk. However, I did partake of the free wine. When I returned home, I could see that the upstairs neighbors had all of their lights on, as usual. Lots of stomping around and other noise. Some people came by to pick them up. I could hear people running, each step accompanied by loud thumps. I had a short reprieve until the fools returned at midnight. A young kid was with them, judging from all the noise.

I woke up on Saturday morning to the sound of a moron running back and forth upstairs, most likely the kid who stayed over. The running continued until I left at 10am. Someone was also continuously dropping large heavy objects on the floor. As always, none of these idiots have a clue that I live right below them. They spent $380,000 for that dump, so they can make as much noise as they want. If it was not for the fact that Chez Loser could yield about $150,000 after it is sold, then I would have probably gone berserk and committed mayhem.

I spent a couple of hours in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. I was all alone, which was quite nice. I did some grading and also spent some time on the Net. Sad to say, I really enjoy sitting at the computer and wasting time on the Net. Later, I did my usual cardio workout at the gym. I returned to Chez Loser at 5pm. The clowns upstairs were not at home. Amazing how quiet it was! I savored the moment. Had the fools been home, I would have gone to Ala Moana to hang out at Barnes & Noble.

The fools upstairs returned at 2:30am, making a moderate amount of noise. I was awakened at 7am on Sunday by the fools for no apparent reason. Then, it was silent until 8:30am. I got up and made my coffee. I read the paper, walked the recycling to the bins at the neighboring school as usual, and piddled around Chez Loser. I left at 11:05am for town on the bus. I spent an hour in the student computer lab at the Diploma Mill before going to the gym. I was invited to Debbie's SuperBowl party. However, I did not attend. When I returned to Chez Loser, I discovered that no one was home upstairs. I savored the silence.

I met moms on Monday at Kahala Mall. We ate lunch at Panda Express. My bro no longer has to fly to the Big Island, according to moms. As always, I sat with moms at the bus stop before we parted company. Later, I chatted with Heather, one of my former students at the Asylum, on the express bus heading to Kane'ohe. She works at one of the title and escrow companies in town. She described the large number of home sale and refinance paperwork passing through her office. She said that a lot of people were selling to cash out their property, but a few people found themselves with no place to live. She confirmed that the rental market was tight and that rents are going up. She and her husband are currently renting a place. Heather also offered a 20 percent kama'aina discount on escrow services.

I had also chatted with Professor Brian. He and his wife, Professor Cathrin, live in the Executive Center. He gave me the lowdown on the Executive Center. The place is completely leasehold, running about $400 per month for the maintenance fee. The fee includes utilities, including the central air conditioning. The lease payment is about $100 per month. Thus, if I purchased a place there, then I may be paying the same amount or more as I do now. What is worth the cost is the convenience of living in town.

I spent most of my spare time on Tuesday in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. I set up a My Yahoo! portal. I put everything in it including RSS feeds from all of my favorite alternative news sources, my favorite links, and links to sites that I have memberships and accounts with. Almost every Yahoo! feature and service has been incorporated. Now, my "command center" is portable.

I discovered that the fools upstairs may actually have a kid. I'm not sure why the kid is not there every day. The kid, of course, has been spending most of the evenings running back and forth. My nerves have become more frayed as the days wear on.

On Thursday, Pseudo-professor Mike and I ended up at Indigo Happy Hour. The food was delicious. A copy of my tax information finally arrived from the Asylum. The original is allegedly lost. Nonetheless, I was able to to put the numbers into the tax spreadsheet template. My tax refund will only amount to $800 this year because of the taxable income from my investments.

Later in the evening, I was sitting in my Papasan chsir and watching the tube when I saw something scurrying around on the floor. It was a centipede. I scooped it up and threw it in the commode. Then, I searched Chez Loser to see if there were any more critters. I also observed that the shutoff valve for the commode was leaking. More crap to take care of!

The weekend was the same old shit. I ended up purchasing a big-ass bottle of Vendage Chardonnay on Saturday. It was gone by noon on Sunday. I managed to finally wash the truck on Sunday. I also fixed the commode. Turned out to be the flexible hose from the shut-off valve to the tank.

I met moms at Kahala Mall on Monday. We ate lunch at Panda Express as usual. My bro apparently bought a new lawnmower. Moms tried to tell him that a lawnmower is useless for the yard because the ground is uneven. That is why I got rid of the lawnmower in the first place. My bro may soon start commuting to Mau'i for work.

My huge order of hurdy-gurdy DVDs arrived on Monday evening, just in time for V-day! Yes, several hundred dollars worth of hurdy-gurdy DVD were ordered for my new Monk Collection. That's as close as I will get to any babe from this point forward in my life. Tragic, yes, I know. Man, there are some real hotties doin' da wild thing on video! Whoa Nellie! I'll be ordering even more hurdy-gurdy DVDs very soon. Later, I will post all of my favorite titles and recommendations. Sheesh!

Well, that's really all I got goin' on for V-day. Hurdy-gurdy DVDs. Big box of tissues. Big-ass bottle of wine. My hand. One-man houseparty! Just like the old days, even better with my new DVD collection.

Debbie, my realtor, has not contacted me. We were supposed to meet for lunch last week, but the plans fell through. This week looks the same. I am anxious to put Chez Loser on the market. I had originally planned to list Chez Loser on V-day, but that did not happen. Oh well. I have no idea where I will live once I sell Chez Loser. However, as the days go on, I care even less. As long as I have my hurdy-gurdy DVD collection, I'll be fine. Oh yes, I plan to keep my surfboard as well.

I posted an article by Joe Bageant titled, "Middle Class Lockdown," on Speak! IV. It is so ironic that I would find an article which articulates essentially all of my thoughts and feelings about contemporary life. To say that I am disllusioned would be an understatement. I've never felt this kind of "disconnection" before. Life as we know it is on a collision course with fate. Peak Oil is becoming a reality, as we knew it would. The movie, "Syriana," as well as Shrub's State of the Onion (no "typo"), have hinted to the latter. Oil prices had previously remained low to keep the masses from going on a rampage. Even we've discussed here in the journal is coming true.

Survival will soon supercede freedom in priority. I, myself, will continue to divest the last of my useless possessions. As I said, I will be down to my priceless hurdy-gurdy DVD collection, my surfboard, and my truck. I suppose that I will need something to view my DVD collection, too. This is the new adventure. The new chapter. And, you will be here with me as we travel down that path.

President's Day 2006 Update

V-day was a wash, as far I was concerned. Thank goodness for my new hurdy-gurdy DVD library. When I returned to Chez Loser that evening, I discovered that the idiotic neighbors upstairs were having a party. There was a lot of stomping (or staggering), drinking, yelling, smoking, laughing, and an impressive non-stop slammin' soirée. The party went on until midnight. By then, I was certain that my decision to sell Chez Loser was sealed.

The journal has been devoid of many anecdotes as well as the comical shenanigans of some of my colleagues. When I composed the journal on a daily basis, I was always able to include most of the daily events. These days, I no longer own a computer. In the days of old, I spent the evenings reflecting on the day and writing my journal entries. I now must compose my journal in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. Having access to a computer does not normally coincide with my desire to srite anything. Thus, we have the current abridged version of the journal. I am considering the reinstatement of the daily journal once I put Chez Loser on the market. I will also try to eliminate the redundant daily events.

Peak Oil is upon us, whether we chose to believe it or not. A recent article by Kenneth Deffeyes of Princeton University sheds light on this matter. Deffeyes believes that we have passed the half-way point of oil production using end-of-year production numbers from Oil and Gas Journal. Highly coincidental (and suspicious) are the debut of the movie, "Syriana," the increasing number of pleas to look at alternative fuel sources and conservation techniques, and the "non-reliance on foreign oil" theme expressed by Shrub. Oil prices are not coming back down, and the situation will be further exascerbated by the stalemate with Iran. The aftermath of Hurricanes Rita and Katrina are only a cover-up for the increase in oil prices. After the intial spike in oil and petrol prices, I had observed a marked increase in bus ridership. Petrol prices went back down slightly but never recovered to previous levels. Bus ridership went down again. Then, petrol prices spiked again. However, bus ridership did not increase. The masses of morons quickly adapted to the new prices as to be expected. At this point in time, petrol prices could increase to $5 per gallon and not affect consumption. Humans follow the same kind of pattern as bacteria do in developing immunity to antibiotics.

The stupidity of humanity can be further extrapolated to include the issue of waste and trash. We are burying ourselves in useless trash. Worst yet, it takes energy to produce that crap. Petroleum is by far the cheapest fuel to produce energy. In addition, petroleum products are the only reason that we can sustain agriculture to feed the world. Why then is so much energy being used to produce shitty fast food?

My simplistic summary of the world condition in two paragraphs will be ridiculed by many. However, any fool with a brain need only look around to see that we are heading to the Apocalypse. And, I'm not talking about the ridiculous housing "bubble," huge government deficits, and the like. Thus, the sale of Chez Loser is a minor event. My only goal is to cash out the real and perceived equity in order to increase my net worth. The financial system will remain in place for some time, even amidst a collapse of most of the infrastructure. Without cheap energy, the population base is unsustainable as well as our way of life. Preparing for that eventuality is now of the utmost importance.

Pseudo-professor Ralph landed a book contract. It's not going to make him rich, but it will definitely bolster his curriculum vita. Professor Lisa may be back in Hawai'i soon. She has applied for a position with the Diploma Mill, but on the military campuses.

I ran into Robert along Fort Street Mall on Thursday afternoon. He was on his way to Kaiser to get more meds. He's been working at the Legal Aid Society. Apparently, the situation there has digressed to the way it was before he had taken the short-term position with the Legislature. Robert has still been dying his hair. He still wants to find a babe. He expressed that he's feeling uncomfortable with lusting after young hotties. I asked if he would settle for a babe in his age group. As to be expected, he onl;y wants a young hottie in her twenties. Robert's band has been playing for three consecutive weekends at Fox & Hound in Waikiki.

Shirley sent a V-day eCard. She's still looking for another job. She mentioned an administrative assistant position at a credit union. She has also decided to try for government positions, something her family had been urging her to pursue. Perhsps Shirley wiil discover just how difficult it is to find a decent job. I had warned her about this matter while she was attending the Diploma Mill. Live and learn.

I finally met with Debbie, my realtor on Friday. She treated me to lunch at Gordon Biersch in the Aloha Tower Marketplace. I gave her the okay to initiate the selling process. She gave me a list of units in the Chez Loser complex that have sold or are currently on the market. I discovered that the unit above Chez Loser was only on the market for eight days. It sold for $380,000 which was $1,000 over the asking price. I will have to finish the repairs and put in new carpet very soon.

The math department at the Diploma Mill had a number of TI-84 Silver Edition graphing calculators available for faculty. I was able to secure one for an "indefinite loan." Within a year or two, the TI-84 calculator will be superceded by a new model, so the loan is superfluous. I had a good time learning all of the functions. It is actually a useful intrument. The calculators are required for most of the math classes. However, I have not focused much on its implementation. My job is to facilitate the learning of math, not the use of calculators.

Well, here it is, President's Day weekend. As usual, I followed the same benign routine. Moms called while I was in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill on Saturday. Apparently, moms has been paying my bro and his family $600 per month for "rent." Moms has also been cooking regularly for them. This has been kept a secret from me until now. Just as Lori predicted, moms is now a slave in the house she gave to my bro. For week, moms has been complaining about how my bro's wife has been spending so much money. Well, when moms gives her $600 to spend freely, the reason is simple. What really gets to me is that my bro's wife said that she is saving the money for moms. What a crock of shit!

I am concerned that some kind of crap is going to go down at my bro's place. I would not be surprised if my bro's wife files for divorce. Both my bro and moms will be out on the street. Or, if moms were to become ill, I will have to borne the entire cost. Moms continues to subsidize my bro's family's irresponsibility, much to my bewilderment. Moms blames it on "guilt," which is what Lori had guessed. That "guilt" will put us all in the poor house.

Chez Loser is history as far as I am concerned. The dump should be formally listed on the MLS by the end of the month. Debbie is compiling the paperwork. The sooner that I cash out the equity, the better it will be for the ol' lavahead. The excitement is just beginning!

To be continued ... Go to E.30