The Exodus Files
Richest Man in Babylon

Zipper Day 2006 Update (continued)

On Tuesday, I had to work at a conference sponsored by the Diploma Mill. I am one of the members of the planning committee. I had to cancel my class at The Seminary. Not a problem, though. The Seminary was one of the campuses participating in the conference. Lunch for the conference attendees was held at Indigo. The food was excellent.

Moms called early Thursday morning to find out if I was planning to drive out to Hawai'i Kai. I was surprised since I had told moms on Monday that I was not planning to visit later in the week. The day turned out to be a fiasco. The sinister kahuna was working overtime to bring me to my knees. I returned from The Seminary early enough to allow me time to wash the truck. In the course of doing so, I ended up scratching the paint on the hood badly as I attempted to remove some bird shit. I tried to rub out the scratches with car wax, but to no avail. Traffic to Hawai'i Kai was congested because of road work near Kailua and also by Makapu'u Point. I finally arrived at 1:15pm. Moms made a nice lunch. Later, I went to the gym in Koko Marina. I decided to go to Kahala Mall afterward. The place was a shambles. The stores were all open, but the carpet had been removed. I spent time at Barnes & Noble, one of the few stores unaffected by the flooding. I drove along the beach route back to Kane'ohe. I stopped at Waimanalo Beach Park to enjoy the view. Gale force winds ruined what was to be my salvation for the day. In addition, it was raining near Sandy Beach, so the truck is dirty again. When I returned to Chez Loser, I was privy to hear the assorting stomping, slamming, and thumping, courtesy Chubs and her BoyToy.

I happened to peruse an interesting book, "Generation Me" by Jean Twenge while at Barnes & Noble. Twenge has actually hit the proverbial nail on the head in describing the social malaise we call "society" these days. From the point of view of an educator, the treatise make even more sense. The whole problem rests upon progressive parenting, or how people of my generation (read: baby boom parents) are raising their kids. Educators are the worst. They tend to deal with kids intellectually in order to preserve the little turd's "self-esteem." This is why discipline went out the door. The book also provides the answer to why I no longer can remain in this field, and why I must exit society soon.

Friday was an uneventful day. I heard that the academic coordinator for the Diploma Mill math department was voted out. My time in the math department is truly limited. My prediction that I will be fully unemployed by the end of the year is becoming a reality. Pseudo-professor Glenn wanted me to join him for the Art Walk, but I declined. I just wasn't in the mood. When I returned to Chez Loser, I was privy to listen to whole evening of stomping and the usual slammin' soirée courtesy Chubs. Her stupid kid was also running back and forth all night.

I was awakened early Saturday morning by Chubs' stupid kid. He was running back and forth from 6:45am. Chubs and the little turd departed about 10am. They were stomping down the stairway. I thought the whole building was going to come down. I looked out the window. Whoa! Chubs has a really fat ass. It's huge compared to the rest of her. No wonder she stomps just as loud as IdiotBoy. Chubs' stupid kid is also a porker. The little shit has a fat ass as well. That's why it sounds like a sledgehammer hitting the floor while the fat little turd is running back and forth.

No wonder that I am perplexed by the claim that Hawai'i is a top-rated "healthy" place to live. People allegedly live a very healthy life-style here. What a crock of shit! Who conducts those studies anyway? One look around will reveal a proliferation of fat slobs. People here take pride in consuming mass quantities of food. Then, there's the matter of smoking. From my own daily observations, I am certain that well over half the population in Hawai'i smokes tobacco, not to mention the high inidence of drug and alcohol abuse. Do not be fooled. Hawai'i, in general, does not exude a healthy life-style.

Debbie called late Saturday afternoon to inform me that the realtor scheduled to come by had canceled. in fact, so far only two of the five appointments actually showed up. Will Chez Loser sell, or did I miss the mark yet again? Chubs ditched her stupid kid and went our clubbing. I saw Chubs leaving in her clubbing outfit. Frankly, I have no idea how she stuffed herself in that thing. Chub's BoyToy arrived at about 9pm. Chubs did not return until way after midnight. Chubs was drunk because there was all kinds of stomping and other noises. I can never enjoy the time at my place because I am at the whim of everyone else. We're talking "Generation Me" here.

The Sunday routine was the same. I left for town at 11am. I spent time in the student computer lab before going to the gym. I've been contemplating converting the journal to a "blog." I tried a minor experiment with the now-defunct Myspace "blog." The journal really has lost its significance in the general scheme of things. My only goal is to exit society, which is basically what I chronicle. However, the process has been excrutiatingly slow. I waffle back and forth about the idea as if I cannot really commit. Thus, perhaps a useless "blog" will suffice. "Blogs" are perfect for convoluted thinking. I have posed the idea as a poll on Speak! VI. I would also like to eliminate one of the mirror sites. Only one is necessary for archiving. The "blog" will also be easier to maintain since no manual formatting is required. Everything is done in a template. All I have to do is type in my useless banter. The more I think about it, the more I believe that this will be the final update for the journal.

I met moms at Kahala Mall for lunch. We ate at Panda Express, as usual. These few moments that I spend with moms provides me with insight about why I remain here in Hawai'i. I set up a prototype "blog" on Blogger later in the afternoon. I observed the same kind of issues that I had experienced with Myspace. However, such a "blog" woulld easily meet the minimal needs of the journal.

I had also set up a poll on Speak! VI querying opinion about the conversion of the journal to a "blog." There were only a few responses, which led me to believe that there are only about four people who read the journal. Keeping two mirror sites active is even more ludicrous to me. I will eliminate one site and most likely go with the "blog."

On Tuesday, there was no more feedback on the "blog" issue. In fact, no one even perused the "blog" prototype. Wednesday was exactly the same, although Anonder had posted a topic about divesting useless possessions. He expressed how he had felt felt "burdened" by the few possession that remains with him as well with living in a "fixed place." I must admit that I have experienced the same feelings over the last few weeks. I finally sent Shirley an eCard. Her B-day was on Sunday. She's 26 years old. Time is flying. I'm guessing that she's still working at Daiei, and she is devoting all of her spare time to her BoyToy. The longer that she waits to use her college degree, the more useless it will become. Well, for locals, "true love" overcomes all adversity. I just hope that everything works out for her.

The alternative news sources are homing in on the new threat to take military action (read: nuclear weapons) to crush our latest "rogue" nation, Iran. What would Samhain say? Just like Iraq, the issue is oil and the conversion to Euros. Because of the poor results of the conventional military intervention in Iraq, Shrub and his cronies must use other means to fight a new war. Human resources have been stretched thin already. As always, there's more than meets the eye. However, I am too fatigued to even discuss the matter. The cattle are too stupid to understand. They are more concerned about what to download to their iPods. Sheesh!

There were two showings of Chez Loser On Wednesday. I have not heard any feedback so far. Nor have I received any offers. I can barely tolerate my time at Chez Loser, the latter being only partly due to Chubs and her stupid kid. I am paying a lot of dough to sit in a mausoleum and watch the damned tube every night. Worst yet, I finally have started drawing from my savings to pay off my bills. The new carpet ($1,600) was the big ticket item for the month. I also have car insurance ($432) and registration ($180) to pay by the end of the month. My reserves were down to $4,200 as of April 13th.

On Thursday, there was an unscheduled showing of Chez Loser. Since I did not know about it, I left the place in disarray. The agent had also left the front door unlocked and two of the ceiling fans running. I had called the Nissan dealer to schedule the 9-month maintenance for my truck. When I told the service representative that there was a little over 6,000 miles on the truck, she laughed. She advised me to get the oil changed, but to postpone the other maintenance until the mileage coincided with the schedule. I was assured that the warranty would not be affected. That was good news to me.

More crazy crap happening in Hawai'i. The city dumped raw sewage into the Ala Wai Canal during the heavy rain and flooding of the past few weeks. The shit contaminated most of the beaches along the South shore. Well, so much for surfing, eh? Petrol prices keep climbing. As of April 12th, the average price for (cheap grade) was about $2.88 per gallon.

Friday was a holiday. I ended up in town to go to the gym. After my workout, I treated myself to a Jamba Juice smoothie courtesy the last gift certificate that Lori had given me. Then, I spent the evening in front of the tube, as usual. Chubs was much quieter than usual during the entire week. Even when her chubby kid was there, the noise level was minimal.

There were no showings scheduled for the weekend. I was a little despondent about the latter until I realized that most people were preoccupied with filing their tax returns. I left for town at 10am even though Chubs was still on good behavior. I spent most of my time at the faculty computer room. Then, I went to the gym. On the way back to Kane'ohe, I observed that petrol prices at a few service stations were $3.06 per gallon for low grade, which reflected the gas cap increases cited in the paper.

On Monday, I met moms at Kahala Mall for our usual lunch at Panda Express. Moms usually gives me the classifieds and some of the advertising inserts from the Sunday paper. My bro was uspset that moms had been giving me the inserts. So, I ended up with only the classified. The stupid part is that moms pays for the paper. Chubs was back to her old routine. Stomping. Slammin' soirée. Her porker kid was running amuck again.

I happened to read a small abstract on the Alternet site about the presence of PCBs and dioxins in farmed salmon. I did a little more research to discover that those pathetic carcinogens are in all fresh water fish products. Other fish like tuna have traces of mercury. Earlier I had read that certain fruits absorb pesticides more than others. I became quite perturbed that we are all being poisoned by the food we consume. There's nothing that can be done, except to make careful food choices. However, those choices are limited.

The front page of the newspaper has now featured the new "rogue" nation, Iran, almost daily. The old "weapons of mass destruction" theme has come up, just as it did as a pretext to the invasion of Iraq. Venezuela, particularly Hugo Chavez, is also a major talking point. It is quite obvious that the latest smear campaign against Chavez is a pretext for yet another coup to have his command "terminated." Will the alternative news sources be correct once again? Sheesh! Even the dimmest bulbs should be able to connect the dots. It's all about the oil.

On Wednesday, I met Debbie, my realtor, in the lobby of the Executive Center at 11am. We were able to view three units in the building. I can't say that I was impressed. The units are all small. Not surprising since the Executive Center was one of the first hotel-condo conversions. The typical hotel wallpaper did nothing to enhance the rooms. The bathroom fixtures were all in black, which accentuated the build-up of years of grime and soap scum. Did you say, "mausoleum"? Exactly. Debbie also scheduled another Open House for Chez Loser on Sunday. When I returned to Chez Loser, I noticed that only one of three appointments had shown up. The realtors leave their business cards.

On Friday, Lori and I ate lunch at Murphy's. I ordered a greasy cheeseburger. I have to admit that it was delicious. We chatted about the usual mundane nonsense. Lori is going to China in three weeks to run the Great Wall Marathon. We are probably going to start surfing again sometime in June. When I returned home, I was privy to listen to Chubs and her stupid fat kid all night long. Both of them were up past midnight. Chubs was most likely drunk. The fat bitch was cackling away on the phone like an old sea hag while her stupid kid was running amuck.

The noise started up again about 8am after both of the Jenny Craig flunkies woke up. I decided to leave for town at 9am. My greatest fear is that the two chunky monkeys are going scare off potential buyers of Chez Loser with all the noise they make. Along the way to town, I observed that petrol prices have gone up to $3.15 per gallon for cheap grade. Peak Oil is here, my friends. The fuss about turmoil in Nigeria, Venzuela, and Iran are a ruse. Petrol prices are never coming down again.

I read an article in Alternet titled, "Avoiding Everyday Toxins," by Marco Visscher about the prevalence of toxic chemicals in our everyday lives. I was shocked to learn about carpet toxicity. Apparently, new carpet emits high levels of toxic fumes. I was at wit's end. Is anything safe, for fuck's sake? We are being poisoned by everything around us, including the crappy food that we eat. There is no escape. There is no reprieve.

Chubs did not return until 2:30am Sunday morning. The fat-ass bitch made all kinds of noise. I heard a guy's voice as well. Chubs apparently went out clubbing and hooked up some loser. Chub's BoyToy has not come around this week, so the field is wide open.

Sunday April 23rd was Open House day. I left for town on the bus at 1:30pm. Originally, I had planned to drive to Hawai'i Kai, go to the gym, and then to Kahala Mall. I just didn't feel like driving anywhere. I was a little under the weather with what appears to be a cold. I was not surprised since so many people around me have been illin'.

On Monday, I met moms at Kahala Mall. We ate lunch at Panda Express as usual. Moms told me about a disturbing incident. Apparently, my bro's son lit a candle and left it burning somewhere. Moms told my bro about it. Mr bro claimed that his wife was watching it. When moms approached my bro's wife about the safety issue, the dolt snapped back saying, "This is my house. Don't tell me what to do in myhouse." I warned moms that the situation is about to reach critical mass. The whole situation is starting to worry me.

According to Debbie, my realtor, there were six groups of people who attended the Chez Loser Open House. Two were neighbors. So far, no offers. However, all I need is one offer, right? I have come up with a contingency plan for Chez Loser in the case that it does not sell. I may turn it over to a property manager and rent it out. Units in the Chez Loser complex are now going for $1,800 per month. I, myself, would become a renter. More details later.

I stayed up late Monday night watching four hours of the first two episodes of the new "Battlestar Gallactica." I was impressed. I had actually been watching the series for the past few months. I have been impressed with the series, "Hustle," too.

My last day of class at The Seminary was on Tuesday. I do not have any classes scheduled for the rest of the year, so I assume that my time there is done. Obviously, my income will drop significantly, and I will be in survival mode.

Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!Stomp! Slam! Thud! Thud! Slam! Slam! Stomp! Stomp! Thud! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! Slam! Stomp! Slam! Thud! Thud! Slam! Slam! Stomp! Stomp! Thud! Yep, that's what I have to listen to almost every day for hours at a time. Sickening isn't it? If Chubs and her little piglet would lose some of their blubber, the noise level could be reduced.

On Wednesday, I ordered a Nalu Board (same as an Indo Board) for $95 with shipping. The Nalu Board is a balance board (i.e., a mini-surfboard balanced on a cylinder). It seems like a lot of money, I know. I need to practice and work on my balance for surfing. I also need diversions that use absolutely no power of any kind. I am also considering the purchase of a few intelligent one-player games from Barnes & Noble. The games are challenging and require no external power as well. Incidentally, Chez Loser has officially been on the market for 30 days.

Pseudo-professor Mike invited me to lunch in Chinatown, along with his mistress, Bea. I accepted knowing that he wanted me to help him with his new Apple MacBook Pro. Well, he did not purchase the computer, although it is essentially his. After lunch, I assisted him with the computer.

I ran into Alamar, former Asylum student, at the Diploma Mill. He was in the student computer lab. He bought a Nissan Frontier just like mine. It's even the same color. Well, one difference. He has the crew cab (full four-door). He was also checking out a Nissan parts dealer on the Net. I told him that I was looking for the tent that fits on the bed of the truck. He laughed and showed it to me. Not bad for $211 and some change.

There were two showings at Chez Loser on Thursday. I was still home when one of the realtors came by. I was waiting for the Salvation Army truck to arrive. I had to leave for Hawai'i Kai before noon. I left the stuff in the lanai. What did I donate? My beloved Papasan chair was one of the items. Quite reminiscent of when Anonder donated his beloved sausage-shaped sofa, eh? I visited with moms in Hawai'i Kai. Then, I went to the gym. Lori and I were supposed to go bodyboarding, but that never came to fruition. I spent the rest of the afternoon at Kahala Mall. Overall, a nice day.

Chez Loser is looking quite empty. The only furniture that is remaining is the bed. I still have quite a few "odds and ends" that need to be divested. If a possession is not used almost daily, it should be classified as "useless" and immediately be qualified for divestiture. Obviously, the latter policy puts my truck and surfboard dangerously close to divestiture.

As of April 28th, there were five units in the Chez Loser complex for sale, two of them leasehold. The only units to have sold in the last three months were all leasehold units, obviously because they are a lot cheaper than the fee simple units. There are three fee simple units for sale including mine. We are all asking essentially the same price. One unit has been on the market since last November. The price was dropped three times so far. With each passing day, I am becoming much more anxious to move on. Frankly, I despise the life-style that I am living.

Friday evening was quiet. Two of Chubs' babe friends came by. They all went out clubbing. When all three were upstairs, I observed that Chubs was the only one who stomped. So, the floor isn't really paper thin. Chubs returned at 3:30am. The ho' must have been bombed out of her mind. There was a lot of stomping around and the usual slammin' soirée,

Incidentally, I haven't consumed any alcoholic beverages in a month. This is a milestone for me. How many times have I been through this crap before? Too numerous, I'm afraid. However, I am not imposing any strict code to abstain from such beverages. I cannot afford to spend money on useless "luxuries." Booze has been costing me between $28 to $40 per month. Being on the wagon for three months will pay for my Nalu Board.

Well, here it is, Zipper Day (April 29th). The often unappreciated Zipper was invented on this day back in 1913 by Gideon Sundback. As always, I am including a summary of pertinent issues as of this date. Primarily, the decision concerning the conversion of the journal to a "blog" will be made tomorrow, April 30th. Be there!

The "Blog." Converting the journal to a "blog" became a point of contention during April. I spent most of my time pondering its implementation. I can safely say that I was more concerned about the journal and "blog" than my precarious housing and employment situation. I have many reservations about "blogs." I became more apprehensive when I reflected on the Myspace "blog" experiment. With a readership of less than ten people, the whole debate is moot. Yet, the journal is really my escape from society. It has always been a "journal of the mind." When locked in the prison of a degenerate society, one's liberation can only be facilitated through the mind. Viktor Frankl recorded similar observations while in a Nazi prison camp. One way or another, the journal will continue on.

Moving to the "blog" format requires that a certain level of control be relinquished. For example, most of the journal is locked out from search engines. Archiving will also be different. Rather than save HTML pages, the archive can only be text files. There is no way insure that the "blog" site will maintain an archive or whether it will have any kind of permanence. Naturally, the latter has caused a lot of apprehension. Yet, what is worth archiving? The journal has become drivel as of late.

Employment. My employment situation is becoming quite precarious. Last paychecks for the term will arrive at the end of May. I will have no income ($0) until the second week of July. However, I am facilitating one class during the Summer. Thus, I will be earning about $1,000 gross (net $800) per month. Obviously, I will be dipping into my savings to compensate. I have done nothing to seek out new contracts or any supplemental income. It is not my intention to become a freeloading bum. However, I am fed up with wage slavery and the bullshit that always accompanies the slavery. Needless to say, I will have to adjust my life-style to match my negligible income.

Purpose. I have given up on finding any kind of "purpose" in life. I have resigned to the fact that my life will remain meaningless until the end. My only priority is to spend some time with moms, the last of my parents. Thus, the thought often enters my mind, "What am I going to do once moms is gone?" I have no answer. I am moving further and further away from all social contexts, opting to be alone in solitude. At present, my only real goal is to divest myself of as much of the material life as possible. Needless to say, I need to make preparations for the inevitable. I am assuming that I will be a complete basket case. Thus, I will need to minimize long-term obligations, especially financial ones. The bottom line is always the same - divest useless possessions and live as cheaply as possible.

Food. I am still subsisting on a minimal diet. I am not even certain if the diet meets the daily requirements for adequate nourishment, no less the minimum caloric intake. I have added Grape Jelly as another food staple. However, it is really just gelled grape juice. I am becoming more and suspicious of the food we eat. I have noticed that regular peanut butter is no good. To keep it solid, either palm oil or partially hygrogenated oils are used. Both oils increase the saturated and "trans" fat. Needless to say, the food we consume is doing us in. I also need to find a substitute for milk. I am certain that the hormones used to fatten the cows is ending up in milk and other dairy products. Here is a partial compilation of my findings:

Food TypeProblem(s)
Dairy ProductsHormones, residual pesticides, saturated fat
Fish & SeafoodMercury, cholestoral, PCBs, dioxins
Fruits & VegetablesResidual pesticides, artificial color
Meats & Meat ProductsPreservatives, artificial color, hormones, saturated fat, cholesterol
Poultry & Poultry ProductsHormones, saturated fat, cholestoral
SnacksSugar, saturated fat, trans fat, preservatives, artificial color, sodium

Processed ShitProblem(s)
CannedDebris, sodium, saturated fat, artifical color
PackagedPreservatives, artificial color, sodium, saturated fat

Most food that we eat contains small quantities of food coloring and preservatives. The FDA states that these levels are harmless. I assume that "harmless" is the quantity in one food item. What if that crap is in everything that we eat? Are the quantities still "harmless"? I don't think so. Otherwise, can you explain why chronic illnesses such as colon cancer are rising disproportionately? The reason for the high incidence of obesity is also linked to the kind of food we consume. Now, here's my usual daily diet:

MealFood ItemsCalories
BreakfastWheat bread (3 slices)
Peanut butter or grape jelly spread
Coffee (5 cups)
LunchQuaker Oats® chewy granola bars (3 bars)
Nature Valley® granola bars (1 bar)
DinnerFrozen mixed vegetables (3/4 cup)
Canned tuna, salmon, or beans (1 can)
Bowl of rice (1 cup uncooked)
Psillium husks (3 tsp) with non-fat milk (1 cup)
Fresh fruit

Looking at my daily diet, one could conclude that I am either starving or malnourished. The caloric count barely comes close to 2,000 calories per day. In addition, the daily minimum nutrition requirements are not met. I work out at the gym daily, which means that I am burning more calories than someone who is sedentary. Yet, I am not losing weight. Rather, I am probably maintaining my weight with respect to reduced metabolism coincident with aging. My goal is remain healthy and ambulatory as I grow older. As I have mentioned before, there is no way any of us can depend on long-term care in the future. Note that an adjustment in my dietary choices is necessary. Canned fish, regular peanut butter, and milk will have to completely removed from the menu.

Growing Old. I have noticed that old age is now wielding its ugly head. I have had an increase in gray hair. There is also an increase in annoying physiological symptoms. My left ear has a very loud ringing noise (tinnitus). I have noted the latter before, but it is getting worse. My left shoulder blade has been subject to muscle twitches every few seconds. My eyesight is becoming fuzzier with a decrease in the ability to focus on close objects. I have also seen a decrease in the elasticity of my skin, although visible only under close scrutiny. So far, I have been able to stave off the other effects of old age. Working out at the gym is most likely the main reason. I have been able to maintain the same physique that I have had since my late-twenties or early-thirties (the best shape I've ever been in).

Home. Perhaps I am going insane. I have been pondering my definition of "home." Well, I actually do not have a definition. In looking back at my life, I determined that the pivotal point concerning this matter was when I spent an entire Summer homeless. After that, I never felt that I had a "home." Nor did I feel "at home" anywhere. There was always a marked transient nature to it all. These feelings have only grown stronger in the last few years. I long to sell Chez Loser, but I have been less inclined to look for new housing. The whole nature of life is transient these days. I am not eager to fork out a lot of dough to live in another mausoleum populated by fat, inconsiderate cadavers.

Babe Situation. The most surprising outcome of the last two years has been the declining priority of the so-called "babe situation." I have made no effort to even befriend babes. I have met a few babes close to my age (within -10 years) and have observed a detestable, albeit quite common, personality disorder. The arrogance, cynicism, and belief in the inferiority of guys is intolerable. Young babes have similar traits. Mind you, the damned biology still affects me. However, those impulses are declining with age. Even my hurdy-gurdy DVD library is becoming obsolete, which was quite intentional. The hurdy-gurdy DVDs served as a means - an outlet, as it were - to an end. The end of the babe situation, that is. I am more inclined now to agree with Anonder (i.e., one's hand can be a reasonable substitute for a babe). There is no question in my mind that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. As I have stated many times, I cannot think of any married guy whom I would trade places with. I've spent time with my married friends, usually when I stay with them during vacations. That's how I know. In addition, my own experiences tell me that I am not cut out to share my life with a babe. I am a loner. I am a monk. I am the Keeper of Lost Lives.

Existential Vacuum. My agenda has been a vacuum. An existential vacuum. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! Seriously, I have nothing to do. So, I spend most of my time in front of a computer, be it at the faculty computer room or the student computer lab at the Diploma Mill. I have had no desire to hang out at the shopping malls. What do I have to purchase? I don't even want to go to the beach or go surfing. It's too damned crowded. I cannot deal with people anymore. However, I'm not upset about my limited life-style. As long as I am alone, I feel content.

Hermitage. I have actually surprised myself by how well I am doing alone. All I want is solitude and quiet. I continue to minimize my social contacts and to remain clear of any social situations. I don't even spend time chatting with students anymore. I don't use my cell phone, and I have given out the number to no one else. The babe situation is finally a done deal. Sure, I still have the urge to do da wild thing with a babe. However, I have no desire to get involved with babes in any way. I have become a true loner. When I am forced to chat with anyone, I am ill at ease. I can no longer make conversation or small talk. As with Anonder, I am living in the world of my own mind. Not to worry. I spend a lot of time reading. My conversations are now silent ones with the authors of the reading material. And, I have my extensive hurdy-gurdy DVD library. I'm livin' large in a small way!

Sunday April 30, 2006

I was given another reprieve last night. Chubs went out clubbing again. I surmise that her BoyToy is history. He has not been around for over two weeks. Poor Chubs! When Chubs returned home at 2:30am, the ho' made a lot of noise. Drunk off her fat ass, no doubt. I spent the evening in front of the tube as usual. I forgot to mention that I watched, "Boat Trip," on the tube the other night. Roselyn Sanchez was in the movie. Oh baby!

Debbie called when I was already downtown to let me know about a showing later in the afternoon. She believes that I will be able to sell Chez Loser soon. Apparently, there are large number of military families coming in this month. So far, nothing has panned out. I will continue to divest my useless possessions in the meantime. I am also letting my supplies of food and sundries dwindle down to nothing. After that, I will apply the JIT ("just in time") method of purchasing.

The end of April has seen petrol prices peak at $3.29 per gallon for the cheap grade. The State government has decided to terminate the "gas cap" because of continued public outcry. Petrol prices will not go down no matter what. The Board of Water Supply announced that there will a fee increase of 58 percent over five years, with a 15 percent rise starting this Summer. The cost of living in Hawai'i keeps going up.

The time to make the decision to "blog" or not has come. I worked on the blog prototype for a few days, and it is now ready to assimilate the journal. I had some reservations about porting the journal over to a "blog." I listed those concerns in the last update. Yet, what is so important about the journal? And, why does it need to be archived? What had to be said has already been repeated ad nauseam. If the "blog" site were to disappear, would the consequences be so devastating? I doubt it. I could easily save the "blog" in a raw text file. If the "blog" remain simple (read: devoid of images and links), then it could easily be duplicated at another "blog" site in case the chosen "blog" provider goes out of business. Then again, what is there to archive?

I have moved further and further out of the social context, which means that I must remain focused on my own life and my own thoughts. As merely an acquaintance to others, I no longer concern myself with their personal lives. I rarely ask people anything these days. I keep to myself. I will make casual observations about people in general and their stupidity. Of course, that's only useless fodder for the mindless. My real quest is to exit society gracefully, and the journal records each slow and painful step. With so little time left, I am perplexed about why I continue to kick the can. With that, I have made the final decision to end the journal. The "blog" will assume journaling duties commencing May 1st. Further details and logistics (if necessary) will be posted on the discussion forum, Speak! VI. I believe that it will be a matter of time before the forums are shut down as well because of a lack of interest.

An overview of what's coming up is certainly in order. I cannot leave loose ends in the official journal. Chez Loser will be sold. The capital gains will be invested. At this time, I cannot be certain about my new living arrangements. I am not too keen about purchasing another place (read: mausoleum). I do not expect to be gainfully employed after the year is out. My tenure in the teaching field is rapidly drawing to a close. I may have to seek other kinds of work, but the latter will be in the "peon job" classification. I no longer want to play games with idiots who think they are Mensa candidates. I need to live a very obscure and low profile life-style.

Eventually, the "blog" will be terminated. Since I am gradually becoming the hermit that I've always destined to be, I will no longer have much to discuss. I could discuss techniques of chokin' da chicken ad nauseam, but I seriously doubt that anyone would care. What else will I be doing? Well, if my recent chronology is any indication, then I will be doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps I am getting too far ahead of myself. Let us just go from day to day now, shall we?

Will the "blog" be of a daily format? I cannot say for sure. There just may not be enough content on a daily basis. I would have fill the "blog" with useless fodder such as my benign opinions on politics, religion, and society. Gossip may also become necessary to fill the void. Who knows? I had also contemplated the use of the "third party" style that was initiated in the defunct Myspace "blog." However, there is a level of detachment, albeit humorous, that would stigmatize the "blog."

I should clarify a few more issues to tie up the last of the loose ends here. Most of the bulk updates have covered the most relevent topics that face the ol' lavahead for the rest of his life. I do not expect to deviate much, if at all, from the status quo. The clarifications should suffice as an adquate "official" end to the journal, if one decided to stop reading the journal from this point forward.

LoserNet Sites. Currently, there are two sites mirroring each other. Within a month or so, one of the sites will be terminated. The remaining site will be cleaned up for final archiving. After that, no further revisions will be made. Details will be provided in Speak! VI.

Hurdy-Gurdy Library. I will most likely maintain the hurdy-gurdy DVD library as long as I do not need Viagra. I am already finding that the hurdy-gurdy libary is becoming rote. The need to continuously replenish the library with "fresh" titles would be necessary to maintain the efficacy of the library. As other guys in my age group have told me (as well as a review of the literature has revealed), the pathetic Vienna Sausage will begin a steep attenuation of functionality very soon. When that happens, I will have no need for the hurdy-gurdy DVD library. So, what is the real purpose of the hurdy-gurdy library? Chokin' da chicken? I see a lot of hottie running amuck, and I must insure that I do not make a fool of myself like I did two years ago during the peak of mid-life crisis. Remember my foolish obsession with the former friend? What a fucking idiot! I am too old and too decrepit to deal with babes. Hence, the hurdy-gurdy library. Need I say more?

Independence. I must move into an era of true independence. I cannot have any reliance or dependency upon the cattle. Each day, my experiences with the cattle prove my thesis correct. The cattle are a bunch of narcissitic, selfish, fat-ass slobs who believe that the rest of the fat slobs are there to idolize them. I have had much difficulty capitulating to the latter's vanity. My goal is to let the cattle have their way. I will let them make me get out of their way on the sidewalk. I will let them cut in line in front of me. I will let them step on my feet or bump into me without the courtesy of apologizing. I will let them stuff their faces with blubberous junk food. The day will come life will make an abrupt change. My goal is to be able to fend for myself and survive the coming Apocalypse.

End Note. This is certainly the most benign ending for a journal that's been around for over ten years. It's not really an ending, though. It's the beginning of a new era!

To be continued ... Go to E.33 Speak! VI Forum  
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