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... Journal of Life
Sunday April 2, 2000
I did absolutely nothing today. I was tired because I got in at about 2am this morning after all the gallivanting around. This vacation was much more enjoyable than I had anticipated. I wanted to reflect on this whole situation but I have decided against it for the time being. First of all, there really isn't a situation per se. My real dilemma is the puzzling question of why I bought my Palm IIIe. I cannot understand my need for toys that I outgrow in a matter of weeks. The Bose Acoustic Wave is another story. I have grown weary of it as well. And, I am now gathering a few more CDs to give to Malia. My collection has lost its luster.
I have somehow sparked a renewed interest in fixing up my six-four. I have spent days looking at the same Jeep parts catalog. What is my incentive for this? Although I don't admit it, I seem to find pleasure in working. I like to keep busy with projects. In fact, I already have a few more projects to do around the house during my next long break at the end of May. I also plan to continue the restoration of my six-four. All other spending has been put on hold.
I haven't been to the gym all week. I had originally intended to at least go down to the gym at Koko Marina and accomplish some semblance of a workout. As the days went on, I felt less compelled to do so. On the eve of returning to wage slavery, I am contemplating a number of philosophical questions that apparently have no answers. That quandary forced my hand to remove more application programs from my beloved computer. The pattern is clear. I must purge things to break down the life complex into its basic elements. The premise is that I will be able to better find a solution when I reduce the problem to its simplest form. The problem in this case is an abstraction. Purpose in life. Material possessions cloud one's ability to discern purpose. Without tangible possessions, what do we crave in its place? We now cross over into the realm of the spiritual. If we preclude a religious or philosophical form of spirituality, then we must seek out something else. I am confused. Malia told me that I am too analytical. "You should just let things happen naturally," she added. I may unbox my Bose Acoustic Wave before 10pm. Hearts of Space will be on at that time. The music is spiritual much like the redundant passages of House music. There are other questions of the soul. I will address those questions at another time.
Monday April 3
I was not happy to return to minimum wage slavery. There just seems to be no purpose except to kill time and earn a few pennies. I may never be emancipated because of my poor planning. Well, no sense fretting over spilt milk, as the old saying goes. Malia met me at the university after her class. We ended up at Starbuck's. We spend a lot of time together for some strange reason.
Moms has to go down to the State office to get an identification card since she doesn't have a driver's license. The bank have a new policy that requires a current photo identification card in order to process any transactions. Moms' card expired 7 years ago. I can't see moms wasting her time at the damned State offices. She should just get an ATM card. That way, she could do all her transactions through a machine. No identification required. Otherwise, moms will have to stand in line for hours at the only State office that issues identification cards. As it turns out, moms has an ATM card. She just never used it, so she doesn't remember her access code. I suggested that she go to the bank and obtain another access code, then ask her friends to help her learn to use the ATM machine.
Moms has been worried because she's losing more weight. She has lost four more pounds, and she doesn't have much to spare. I told her to eat more ice cream. She already eats more ice cream than I do. "If you really want to gain weight, you should be eating more of these," I told her as I pulled out a frozen Pot Pie from the refrigerator. I don't think that moms liked that idea. Can you blame her? I, on the other hand, love those Pot Pies. Sheesh!
Tuesday April 4
A broken water main near Kahala Mall resulted in a bad traffic jam this morning. The express bus took an hour longer to get into town, and I was late to my first class. Of course, that was nothing compared to the bombshell Malia dropped on me through e-mail. Her ex-boyfriend is some kind of psycho who believes that Malia and I have something going on. Either he has some of his local homeys running surveillance or he is doing it himself. In expressing that he knew certain details about the ol' lavahead, I realized that his thinly-veiled threat may manifest itself covertly against moms or me. As a guy who apparently beats women, I can only assume that a cowardly act would easily follow. Add drugs and seedy underworld associations to his résumé and you'll see the pathetic nature of this situation. Further, his own brother was killed because of ties to the drug underworld. I am not concerned for myself as I am for moms. Psychopaths like this have no qualms or remorse for committing heinous acts on innocent victims. This kind of violent family dynamic is typical of the locals, mostly because they coincide with the same demographics as the economically disenfranchised minorities on the mainland.
I am at the crossroads of whether I need to purchase a nine (9mm) from the Internet Gun Shop. I used to joke about this in the old days. Now, it's a sad reality that I must face. I must take literally the old Scripture, "To be forewarned is to be forearmed." The fact that Malia must deal with this endlessly is because of the kids they share. I have been here before as you may recall. My role is no longer to play middleman to domestic squabbles. I will continue to be Malia's friend and do things with her. We are not doing anything wrong. However, I should also exercise caution as I am dealing with a psychopath. Finally, I talked with Joanne, a colleague at the business college. She spoke to me in confidence. 'There's a student who really has a thing for you, and you know who it is." There was concern in her voice.
Wednesday April 5
The morning opened up with melodrama. Malia was at wit's end because her ex-boyfriend and her son had allegedly disappeared without any notice. She left school early because she was losing it. Later, I talked with her. She had reported the situation to the police. By noon, the missing duo were located. The suspect had allegedly gone to the Big Island for a day but neither called his son's school or his place of employment. The story was beginning to sound suspicious to me. Then, I came up with something that was nagging at me since my discussion with Malia yesterday. The suspect had allegedly mentioned my age but he was off by a year. Mind you, very few people know my age. Most guesses are at least 10 years off. This is a minor point. I have to assume the worst case scenario. I am being set up for some kind of fall.
Many other things that Malia has told me is now suspect. For example, she mentioned many times that there are many coeds at the business college who are interested in the ol' lavahead. I happened to ask Clara, one of my former students, whether she knew of any faculty members who may be the big talk of the social circles. There was only one guy mentioned. She added that no one has discussed any of the other faculty. "All the others are too ugly." That includes the ol' lavahead, which is the most realistic assessment.
I am very disappointed by this situation. I thought I had a good friend but I appear to be caught up in something nefarious. After being duped by the handmaiden, I cannot let a similar situation happen again. Now I understand Joanne's concern.
Thursday April 6
Perhaps I am over-reacting to the situation. Rather than reverse polarity, I should just be careful and watch for any danger signals. I will only be vulnerable if I choose to be. Just another day in da 'hood. I was supposed to have lunch with pseudo-professor John. I waited for quite a long time before deciding to go to Taco Bell. On the way back, I ran into him and our department head. They had just gotten back from lunch at a posh restaurant. Pseudo-professor John couldn't even look me in the eye. In an attempt to play that dumb butt-kissing game, he had forsaken his friend. Needless to say, I'll remember this. There won't be any grudges. I just won't have the time to listen to his pathetic stories anymore. Politics requires finesse, something most people lack. There is a delicate balance that must be preserved. Ambition usually gets in the way, which result in exclusionary tactics. "Don't worry, my friend," I muttered, "I'll be back." By the way, the latter was Arnold's famous words in Terminator.
So, here I am. Back at the beginning. Basically without a friend in the world, it seems. That's okay. I can trust most people about as far as I can throw them. To calm my nerves, I installed the preview release of the new Netscape browser last night. It was nice but it caused a lot of problems. So, I uninstalled it today. Thank goodness for CleanSweep! More stupidity at the business college. Our self-appointed department head, Philip, has decided that the campus will upgrade to Office 2000 as soon as possible. All computer faculty will be required to be Mickey MOUS certified "experts" by the end of the year. What a joke! If we are going to waste time and money, why not just have us become MCSE certified? It's too bad there isn't a version of CleanSweep to enable me to uninstall these pathetic situations. Sheesh!
Friday April 7
Maybe I just need to buy a tube and a VCR so I can sit around and lapse into a coma while watching mindless crap. My classes have dwindled down to handful of people. I am wondering about how many students I will be giving failing grades. It's pathetic. Malia is apparently having some problems with one of the business college faculty. I believe her story because I know of the players. "Count your days. Soon you'll be at the university," I told her. Yet, at times I have to wonder if that's any better.
No other excitement for today, I'm afraid. I'm just as fatigued as I was before the vacation. I haven't even done my taxes yet. So, what's in store for the weekend? I'll probably charge my new battery with my new battery charger. If I get ambitious, I may even unbox my Bose Acoustic Wave. Yeah, life is a little boring for the ol' lavahead. Yet, I'm thankful because this is better than putting up with crap. One year ago, I was a mess. That's why I haven't looked at the [UJ] archive since it was closed. There are no memories there. Heck, maybe I should celebrate by indulging in the nothingness of my being (read: sitting in the detestable resin chair).
Saturday April 8
I did absolutely nothing today since it was raining again. Well, I tried to paint some of the areas on my six-four that I treated for rust. What a maroon! The wind was blowing the paint everywhere. Some of the overspray coated the lenses of my dork glasses. I had to spray everything closer than normal, so the paint ran, as to be expected. Moms cooked all kinds of food so I knew that my sister-in-law was coming by. I don't know why but that always puts me in a bad way.
I'm listening to How Many Times by Peter Daou on NetRadio House as we speak. That's about the only way I can listen to House music. As I was looking around at the various nerd sites on the Net, I came across one devoted to Wolfenstein. Do you remember Wolf? Remember when I used to play that damned game religiously in Oregon? There must be a bunch of dedicated Wolf fans out there.
I am more calm than I was earlier today. I was tempted to buy a big bottle of the "Hammer," but changed my mind. I am always reminded of the mediocre crap I have to put up with. Mostly, it's because I'm too poor to afford anything but cheap crap. I have no idea how I figured that I could afford a Z3. I couldn't even afford to buy the more expensive can of spray paint for my six-four. At times I want to just break down and cry because I am so pathetically poor. Everyone else can just go out and buy a new $50,000 car in cash. I had to use my credit card to buy a $2 can of paint. How can I feel like I am worth anything? My whole life is now devoted to finding stuff for free. That's why I'm a monk (and computer nerd). I can obtain everything I need to survive for free. What a loser!
Sunday April 9
I finally worked on my taxes. I definitely owe $1,700, there's no mistake about that. There is also a good possibility that I have to open a retirement account (IRA). I may have no choice as I would incur a penalty otherwise. With less than a week before the deadline to file, I must make a decision. Once again, my hand is being forced by the powers-that-be. I drove my six-four to Koko Marina and bought a six-pack of cheap brewskis. What else could I do? I downloaded and installed the latest version of VirtuaGirl last night. You know, it is a really good utility. I call it a utility because it is a "must have" for all nerds and losers.
So, another weekend has come and gone. And, what can I say? I unboxed my Bose Acoustic Wave for the day, mostly in anticipation of listening to Hearts of Space this evening. It's Pledge Week on public radio. I listened to all of the names of the people who donated money. Was it coincidence that every single name was a haole surname? Or, has my original contention that only the haoles have money in Hawai'i proven to be true? Well, I think we all know the answer. I'm a local boy and I certainly have no money to donate. Some people have thousands of dollars in spare change to donate. Obviously, they are not at the low end of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs like myself. Alas, all of this is moot. The object of this game is to keep from snapping. I suppose that, once I write out the checks for what I owe, I'll get over this nonsense. I just feel as though I'm merely spinning my wheels. Easy come, easy go, eh?
Monday April 10
I investigated the IRA situation a little more. Looks like I'll be setting up that retirement account. My credit card bill arrived today. The six-four battery fiasco ended up costing me $110 in all. Other stupid crap bloated the bill to $300, of which I have no idea how I'm going to pay it. This really is a sorry situation.
Pseudo-professor John came by the faculty computer room to see if I wanted to join him for lunch. Fortunately, I already had eaten a Whopper (my way, of course!). He hinted that he had more "insight" about the situation at the university. Frankly, I don't want to hear anymore of it. Pseudo-professor Robert was working on a few projects. He asked about the university health plan again. What happened to all of his other schemes? And, pseudo-professor Rick has turned in his resignation. That's the exciting life at the university. As for the ol' lavahead, he's just wondering if he should uninstall VirtuaGirl. After a while, it really becomes irritating.
With less than a month left of my contract, I have become sentimental about my beloved cell phone. That sentimentality also encompasses my ISP. Why? I could save about $35 per month by eliminating those useless services. I'm always asking myself, "Well, what if I need that?" I haven't "needed" either service for two years now. Sheesh!
Tuesday April 11
An unexciting day, at best. When I returned home, I read the alumni magazine that is sent to me for reasons unknown. I thought I might see something about Barbie Doll Heather but there was an article about Weird Al Yankovic instead. As you may recall, Weird Al and I share the same alma mater. Odd, isn't it? Weird Al is rich and famous, and the ol' lavahead is poor and unknown.
I talked with the handmaiden's friend Anne on the express bus this afternoon. Yesterday, Mark got to talk with her. She has been somewhat verbose lately, mostly about her current psycho employer. From what she says, it's a living nightmare. I have been fortunate because I am not subjected to that kind of crap. I have other demonic forces to contend with.
For me, I'm just happy that I can spend time with moms. This has been my single most important priority. I don't always see eye-to-eye with moms, but I have to remember that it was moms who raised me. I certainly didn't change my own diapers. This is a frustrating, yet joyous, time in my personal life. I am glad to be here.
Wednesday April 12
Another uneventful day in the life of a fool. I checked the new LoserNet message board, Speak! From what I can tell, we're up to six readers now. That's kind of pathetic, isn't it? All I do for fun these days is update my software. Last night, I downloaded the new version of ZoneAlarm. Tonight, I'll have the latest version of my FTP client. Wheee!
I was somewhat productive today. I spent most of my free time in the faculty computer room. I can't even begin to list all of the things I still must get done. My Palm IIIe is no longer being used to keep track of anything. I've gone back to relying on my feeble memory. So, I have another useless toy to throw on the dung heap. Heck, I haven't even backed it up since February. The university allegedly upgraded its modem pool this morning. Why did my connection expire after 15 minutes? Do you see the kind of mediocrity I must put up with on a daily basis?
I am extremely fatigued, most likely because I'm coming down with something. A lot of my students have taken ill. Malia has been out most of the week with a tonsillitis. I cannot afford to be sick, yet I'm around sick people all the time. It's kind of a Catch-22 situation. Geraldine asked me if I would chaperone the Spring Formal. I told her that I would commit if she also got pseudo-professor Robert to commit. The Dynamic Chaperone Duo may ride again. Sheesh!
Well, aside from that, I've been eating at Burger King quite a bit lately. I have neglected to mention this. Remember when a Whopper (my way, of course!) would make my day? It still does. I sat outside at the end of Fort Street Mall and leisurely ate my Whopper. Maybe I'll do that again tomorrow.
Thursday April 13
My fatigue continues. I have to make it through the week regardless. It's just going to be that much harder. One of my students shared part of her life story with me today. Her nickname is Sasha. She's in her late twenties. She has four kids from three different guys. The first two guys were losers and still are. The third guy lost his mind after they broke up and stabbed her repeatedly. One scar remains plainly visible on her right cheek. She is now engaged to another guy. He works three jobs and has a controlling personality. I have related this in a matter-of-fact fashion because it is so typical of my local students. The babes always hook up with losers. Naturally, they end up having kids. The guys usually hangs out with other loser buddies, does drugs, surfs, and does whatever they feel like doing. The babes work at some peon job and support the family. Some of these babes are gorgeous. I know of fairly affluent guys who would kill to meet just one of them. Interesting, isn't it? The lives of many of my students are a shambles. Poverty, pregnancies, drinking, and drugs seem to be formula for failure. That is what we, as educators in Hawai'i, face as obstacles when attempting to help these people succeed. There are no support groups for them. Even their families urge them to take any job that comes along because that is "better than nothing." Going to school is a waste of time when they could be amassing their fortunes while working at a minimum wage job. Sheesh!
Money isn't everything. Usually, only rich jackasses say that. I am coming to the realization that it's true. The more I seem to worry about my financial goals, the less likely I seem to meet them. The basis of money for me is in its future value. I have no need for it now. Yet, I have to wonder, will it bring me freedom then? Or, am I just insuring that I can afford my medical bills when I become decrepit? As you can probably guess, I am still vacillating on the issue of setting up a retirement account. Sometimes I wonder what I will do when it comes time to make some real decisions.
Friday April 14
The stock market went down the toilet in the last few days. Of course, that comes hours before I have to open my retirement account. More fun and games at the business college. Philip, our self-appointed computer curriculum coordinator was excited to reiterate his plans to me. The business college has been approved as a Microsoft testing site. As he is the only other business college faculty (aside from the ol' lavahead) to serve as a pseudo-professor at the university, he also revealed the other half of his two-fold plan. He allegedly approached the Dean at the university with a plea for a pay increase for the computer science faculty. "History never changes. They use the same books forever. We, on the other hand, have to constantly keep up with technology," he told me. "We deserve more pay." I think that he's going to get us all fired.
I also had to attend a faculty meeting in which Philip once again detailed his grandiose plans. There were many accolades for him. I guess no one realizes that the hardware infrastructure is a shambles. Hardly any of the computers on the network are working properly. I just hope that his ambition does not precede him. He and many other faculty at the business college talk down to me as if I am inferior to them. It's somewhat pathetic as most of them are frustrated losers in reality. And, I don't have a tendency to trust anyone there. Well, at least there were free sandwiches at the meeting. I ate three of them.
I am discovering that life is one big improvisation. If it is taken too seriously, psychosis sets in. Of course, the more comedic one is, the more one makes. Most of us are still merely Court Jesters. Boys in the army.
Saturday April 15
I finally completed my Federal tax filing and submitted an application for a retirement account. I decided to take a chance on an aggressive mutual fund even though the market is in a major correction phase. Since I am usually thwarted at every turn, I figured that I had nothing to lose by taking a contrarian approach. To celebrate this feat, I bought another six-pack of cheap brewskis. I consumed the two cans I had left from last weekend, but that wasn't enough. Big headache. And, after only four cans total. I think I have to switch to the "Hammer."
After reading all the hype about Windows ME, I realized that my Fujitsu computer is nearing the end of its useful life. I will not be able to make many more upgrades to my existing software due to hardware limitations and because I still use Windows 95. I'm not sure when I'll be able to purchase a new computer. Linux seems tempting as a replacement for Windows. The latest version would run just fine on my Fujitsu. Can I get used to the K Desktop, though?
Aside from that, I sat in the detestable resin chair all day. I have to file my State tax next week as well as pay off all of my other bills. I have parted with a significant amount of non-existent dough in one week. My financial goals are completely shot. I'm not sure what to say anymore.
Some scathing e-mail arrived in my in-box about my disposition of late. I have no answer for my humorless life as it stands, until I discovered that Hermit (aka Ogre) proffered an explanation:
Hope that this third attempt at an online diary doesn't turn into an odious "woe is Me" drivel as before, but it appears to be this way. What else truthful and subjective to write about? Nada. Most diarists are not happy, contented people. Otherwise, no need for a diary because they would be jet-setting around with other happy and contented people.
I now await Anonder's updates.
Sunday April 16
Hermit's ...err, I mean ... Ogre's journal is interesting. It always has been and I oftentimes wonder why it is not dedicated to its own site. I laughed at the biting, cynical humor which even surpasses my own earlier attempts at same. His misadventures remind me of my days way back when.
More cheap brewskis. Big headache. Miscellaneous chores around the house. What a weekend I'm having! I contemplated that fool Philip. He's a Microsoft man now. His allegiance is undeniable as he only speaks in terms of Microsoft products as if no other existed. "When you open your e-mail in Outlook Express like I do ...," I remember him babbling at the faculty meeting. Was I the only one in the room who uses Netscape Mail? The Gates One is proud to have blinded fools like Philip in the ranks. I could almost assume that the putz would commit atrocious acts for his beloved leader. And, what of this fool? I recollected earlier today while in a stupor, that he had told me of his humble beginnings at the university. He was an instructor in the English Foundations Program, which is designed for students whose primary language is not English. Most of the classes are at the grade school level because the sole purpose of the class is to facilitate English usage skills. So, how did he become a Computer Science pseudo-professor? The point is somewhat moot and fades in comparison to his new role as Acting General in the Microsoft Corps. That only makes me wonder. Why am I now subservient to the whims of a complete idiot?
Monday April 17
Malia gave me a single, red rose this morning. An unusual gift. My day was filled with grief as all of my students disappointed me with their pathetic whining. Lame attempts to get out of doing work that is due in just a few days. I've never seen it this bad, and I am assured that my refusal to capitulate will be reflected in my evaluations. The only thing that brought me relief was the thought of initiating comprehensive oral exams. Yep, the students in the next term will be privy to my latest innovation. Weekly comprehensive oral exams. They only have themselves and their predecessors to blame. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
The rose made it home safe, even through the crappy ride on the express bus. I protected the rose from clumsy, bumbling passengers throughout the trip. Moms found a thin vase for the delicate flower. I trimmed the stem and placed the rose in its new home. Seems strange to find value in a flower, especially in the hustle and bustle lifestyle of the commuting wage slave. It is such a pretty flower. In actuality, it was the only reason I didn't erupt in violence today. Guys usually don't take to flowers the way babes do. In fact, guys are oftentimes dumbfounded when given flowers. My rose is on the table next to me as I type away on my beloved notebook computer. It has no symbolism. All I know is that life on this planet would do fine without humans. We have done so much to screw everything up. We neither value life nor do we appreciate nature. We feared it so much that we attempted to conquer it by destruction. Now, it seeks vengeance. The natural holocausts of late are only a warning. We have fooled with the delicate balance of life. Now, we will pay the piper. The flowers will live on.
Tuesday April 18
Leila, one of my former students came to see me after class this morning. She was shaking terribly and so I knew something was wrong. She explained the situation to me. I'm not sure what to make of it. She believes that certain male faculty member is paying a little too much attention to her in class. What really gave her the willies was when he came up from behind to see what she was doing on the computer. He was so close that she could feel his breath. I gave her the protocol for sexual harassment including a copy of our campus policies. It is up to her to document the incidents and to approach the suspect to tell him politely to desist from that kind of activity because it makes her uncomfortable. She is afraid to do that.
The administration inadvertently became involved by late afternoon. I had gone to Tina, our human resources person, to get a copy of campus policies. Leila later attempted to get my phone number from Tina because she works as a student assistant in the office. Tina pieced things together and called me. I was not home but the message was nice. She was impressed that I had given Leila the correct advice about what to do. However, the cat is now out of the bag. This is a delicate situation because the suspect's career and reputation is at stake. And, the heart of the matter may actually be a cultural misinterpretation. I have to be careful about my own involvement in this situation. Aside from that, moms bought some very hot Kim Chee. That's the best Kim Chee I've ever had. Why can't life be as simple as a good bottle of Kim Chee? Sheesh!
Wednesday April 19
I had to devote an hour of time to meet with the Dean, Tina (from Human Resources), and Leila concerning the alleged sexual harassment incident. The administration is going to handle the matter. I am a little dumbfounded because I cannot believe that the faculty member in question really perpetrated such a deed. Nonetheless, I am more involved than I wanted to be. When the word gets out, I will be at further odds with the faculty.
Pseudo-professor John was upset today. I've never heard him cuss before. First, he told me about a student who wants tutoring on the last nine weeks of material since the student never attended class. Then, he went on a tirade about the university, our department, and few of the faculty. It was a side of pseudo-professor John I've never seen before. In some respects, the debacle was humorous. The cussing came in when he discussed one of the few doctoral faculty we have in our department. "Lock us both in the same room, and I'll run circles around him," he added, obviously referring to intellectual capacity.
Malia and I had lunch for the past two days at Heidi's Deli. Today, we ended up at Starbuck's before she had to go. I always tell her about what's going on with everything, even though some of the information is confidential. Pseudo-professor John is making me nervous about recommending the university to anyone. Did I give Malia a bum steer? I hope not. I will investigate this further. If he's right, I'll help Malia matriculate into a different university.
Thursday April 20
A bomb scare at the courthouse downtown caused a major panic. Traffic was re-routed which also included the buses. I waited for an hour for the bus that takes me to the community college. It never arrived. That particular route runs every 20 minutes. Soon, there were no buses running along Hotel Street as the traffic was re-routed yet again. With only a few minutes to spare, I called the computer lab on campus to see if anyone could dismiss the class. The sad part is that no one knew what was happening. From where I was standing, I could see a huge crowd of people gathered. Yesterday, there was a huge labor union demonstration at the State Capitol building, which is a block from the courthouse. I thought that there might have been another demonstration that broke out in a riot. By the way, these are the same unions which represent the useless State employees I've discussed before. The members are upset because they were not given their token 10 percent annual raise for substandard work.
Hermit (aka Ogre) now has his own Web site. Let's hope that the complete hermit archive will soon reside there. I avoided pseudo-professor John, opting to have lunch with Malia instead. Nothing new with the sexual harassment case. The Dean thanked me for assisting with the situation. Moms believes that someone stole my State tax return from the mailbox because the envelope was gone before the carrier arrived. Moms and I had sardines and rice for dinner. I'm just glad that the day is over. Sheesh!
Friday April 21
I discovered a lump growing right above the same tooth that has caused me problems for months. Looks like I'll have more grief down the road thanks to the sinister kahuna. Malia met me at my evening class at the university. After my class was over, we bought a big bottle of the "Hammer" and drove back to her place. I worked on her new computer for a bit. Then, we watched Rush Hour on video. Oddly, I had seen the first half of the movie before but I cannot remember when and where I saw it. Anyway, Malia had to pick up her daughter so we left right after the movie. All in all, a nice evening.
Malia and I talk about all kinds of things. Actually, I really value her friendship. Of course, like other babes, Malia tends to treat the ol' lavahead like a boyfriend at times. She also believes that I'm looking for a gorgeous gym babe type. She always asks questions that are framed in such a way for me to confess this "preference." I suppose that I used to think that way, what with the Virtual Harem (see Lavahead Express) and all. Frankly, if I was in the market for a babe, I wouldn't be much concerned about the way baby looks. However, as a monk, this is a moot point.
Saturday April 22
Big headache. Now I see why I call it the "Hammer." Malia called to say that she had a headache, too. Mark also called. He and I ended up driving along the coast to Bellows Beach Park in my beloved six-four. We spent a couple of hours there before heading back. We stopped off at Loco Moco in Koko Marina for a nice local-style lunch. When I returned home, I lapsed into a coma in the detestable resin chair.
I'm still trying to work on my perpetual modem problem. Malia's computer works fine and she is able to connect to the same ISPs with no difficulty. My modem driver is current. I believe that these drivers really work through a single unimodem driver. So, the problem may just be my modem. My last attempt at a fix will be to force the modem to connect in one mode (V.90). If that doesn't work, I give up.
Sunday April 23
Today is Easter Island Day. That's right, it's a day of tribute to those lovable little faces of stone adorning the whole damned island. Many thanks to Ulla (in Finland) for the reminder of this special occasion. The dentist called again today. I spoke with him this time. He is certain that I need a root canal. That's going to be a lot of dough for him. And, I will also have to dish out some dough because I doubt that the cost will be fully borne by my dental insurance. I also doubt that any of the stoneheads on Easter island ever needed a root canal. The sinister kahuna is trying real hard to break me down. It knows that the quickest way to accomplish that task is to toy with my already troubled finances.
I spent the rest of the day in a comatose state while siting in the detestable resin chair. Yes, I even have a photo of this phenomenon for the archives. I have no answers. Maybe Ogre's Angst (journal) is the answer. Ogre has taken over where I've left off (http://sites.netscape.net/ogremit/ ). In the meantime, I'm going to fool with my decrepit modem. Sheesh!
Monday April 24
I made an appointment with the dentist for tomorrow. I'm not sure what is happening but I have a dull pain where the root of the tooth embeds itself in the oversized cranium. The large bump is still protruding right above the offending tooth. I'm beginning to wonder if this is a psychosomatic response to the number of stressors I've been exposed to. I once thought that the pseudo-professor lifestyle was ideal. Now, I realize that I don't have it that good. I could make more dough as a K-Mart greeter and deal with a minute fraction of the crap that I put up with now. In the end, I can only wonder why the natives of Easter Island carved out large-scale replicas of the ol' lavahead in rock thousands of years before the old fool was even born. Sheesh!
I spoke with another pseudo-professor today, although I neglected to get his name. The conversation started off about Microsoft and ended up with the situation in Hawai'i. Everything from tourism to education to the high level of corruption in government and business. He referred to Hawai'i as a "third-world nation" and a "playground for the rich." Haven't we heard this before? Rather interesting especially since he is an expatriate mainlander who spent time in many other parts of the world. All in all, the writing is on the wall. I have been on track for a while, but I am now finding corroborating evidence to further substantiate my fears.
Moms contacted the Post Office about the possible stolen mail. Moms also bought another bottle of that good Kim Chee. My retirement account has yet to be activated. My modem continues to give me grief. Angst. I know it well.
Tuesday April 25
My patience is now at an all-time low. I find myself yelling at idiots for no apparent reason. Perhaps, it's my tooth and the prospect of the root canal. Malia and I talked on the phone for a couple of hours last night. That may be another reason I was fatigued today. Babes love to talk. Talking is too much work for guys. Leila told me that she approached the suspect this morning and everything was fine. Yet, a few hours later, I discovered that the administration is going ahead with the investigation anyway. She now regrets that she didn't listen to my first suggestion. I'm not sure how this is going to play out.
I left downtown early so that I could make my dental appointment. My dentist merely punctured the large bump and drained it. He also gave me a prescription for some antibiotics. The root canal is inevitable, he told me. There is, however, no way that I can fit the operation into my schedule until close to the end of May. Maybe I should just look into a set of dentures instead.
Wednesday April 26
I had a little talk with Wingtip, one of the faculty at the business college. I called him a "pompous ass" and suggested that he "acquire some social grace and etiquette." This has been a long time coming. I'm sick of fools like Wingtip. He feels that he is on a lofty plane but that plane is no higher than the edge of the toilet bowl. At least, I'm up closer to the plunger. Why I even wasted my time with the idiot is another matter.
The number of pathetic stories and excuses have been ramping up as the end of the school term approaches. Today, one student was in tears because she was afraid of failing the class. She has only attended class a handful of times. It's all starting to wear me down. Then, instead of support from my colleagues, I get grief in the form of a pompous ass. I should have kicked his pompous ass. It's getting worse by the day. My tirades are increasing. Violence is close at hand. Why?
I'm really acting like a trapped rat. That's because I am trapped in a rut of stupidity. I have lost control of my life again. Other stupidity is tantamount to this situation. A thank you letter from Leila really was a thinly-veiled attempt to court the ol' lavahead. Malia also disclosed that she has firm suspicions that a student in my class is enamored by the oversized cranium. I have no piece of mind now. Sometimes I wonder if the ol' lavahead will himself become the victim of a sexual harassment plot by a babe scorned unwittingly.
My life should be simple. I live at home with moms. I'm a peace-loving monk. I'm working and trying to save up enough dough to retire. A squirrel trying to get a nut. Nothing more. Nothing less. Crap just follows the old fool like flies unto [dung]. I can safely say that, when I'm home, I'm glad to close the door to the outside world.
To be continued ... Go
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