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The Year of Living Dangerously
Countdown to Ecstasy

Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Friday May 23, 2003

We had our big potluck at the Asylum once again. Lots of good food. The event was spoiled for me because I had to take some time to talk with an attorney representing the Asylum. Coincidentally, the attorney is part of the firm that Mark works for. There were a few questions about the Toad injunction. I also found out that Roach lied in his own testimony. Not surprising. Shirley did not attend the potluck. Later, I received e-mail from her stating that she couldn't make it because of an undisclosed reason. She also put her cell phone number at the end, no doubt an attempt to force me to call her. Glen and I went to the gym, even though both of us were stuffed from the potluck. Sadly, my favorite Asian babe was not there.

Well, this is the Memorial Day weekend. When I returned home, I felt a little despondent. I don't have anything to do for the next three days except to work on my course preparation. This is really pathetic. I have done nothing for the last four years of my life. I am considering asking Shirley whether she wants to do some activities like kayaking, hiking, scuba diving, or even just driving around the damned island. I want to go to a symphony concert so I can listen to psychotic classical pieces live. I want to visit a few art museums and attend some plays. However, I want to avoid the club and bar scene, but I'm willing to do that just for the hell of it. I am even reconsidering the additional class at the Diploma Mill. If I accept the contract, then I can use what I earn as spending money for the Summer. My associates, like the Prozac and Viagra buddies, are not the kind of people that I want to do things with. They are boring like me. Boring people just bore each other. Guys really can't do much together, what with the homophobia and all. Most of the guys whom I know are loners anyway. Well, I sure would not mind having babes like my favorite Asian babe join me in these escapades. Shirley and I will probably celebrate her belated B-day next week. I will try to plan something nice. She probably wants me to call her to discuss the plans. Caroll called and left a message for me to call her back. Doesn't anyone realize that I am suffering from phone phobia? Sheesh!

What's up for the evening? Bose Acoustic Wave. Psychotic classical pieces. iBook. Moms has a turkey thawing in the fridge, so I assume the Ninja Turds are due for a visit. They will probably be coming by on Monday. I may have to buy a big-ass bottle of the "Hammer" so I can make it through the ordeal.

Saturday May 24

I left for town on the street bus at around 9am. I managed to get a few things done, but I am way behind schedule. I have one more week before my class commences at the Diploma Mill. I went to the gym and did my usual workout. The rest is the same old story. The evening? Same old story.

I've been thinking about how I have deconstructed my life in such a way that I have optimized isolationism. Say what? What I mean is that I have divested myself of useless junks but I have kept the essentials to live comfortably in a shoebox. Everything that I own, except my Orion telescope, is small and portable. There is nothing to suggest that I want to settle down. I resemble a nomad (read: homeless guy). I also noticed how cheap I've become. Before even thinking about spending any dough, I multiply the expense over 12 months. Then, I don't spend the dough. If and when I decide to engage in more social activities, I will see money flow like water. Can I handle that? What if I start asking babes out? Whoa Nellie! I may go bankrupt. Pseudo-professor Mari had once told me that she gave up socializing because it was too expensive. Now, she sits at home with her dog and her fish. She does everything by herself. She claims to be very happy. Somehow, that is not what I see. I know no one here who is truly happy. They bury themselves in work, always claiming to be busy. They don't even have time to chat. I suspect that they have no time to chat with me, in particular, because I know the truth. And, I call 'em on it.

I don't want to sound conceited, but I am the only sane person around here. Everyone I come into contact with has some kind of psychopathology. All of them are living in denial. Or, they're on medication. Well, I may have seemed like a nut case with my insistence that I am a monk. This is just an indication that I do not take life as seriously as my associates do. By making ridiculous assertions, I have been able to skirt mental illness. Comic relief is the best survival strategy. There were times that I came close to losin' it. I won't deny that fact, but I'm still here, and I am not on Prozac. Let the adventure continue!

Sunday May 25

What the hell was I babbling about yesterday? I must have forgotten to take my Thorazine. Sheesh! The injunction against Toad expires today. Will Toad go on a homicidal rampage? That's okay with me as long as Toad vents only on Roach. I lapsed in and out of a coma for most of the day. Then, I walked to the gym. Moms was preparing all kinds of food, so I assume that the Ninja Turds will grace us with their presence tomorrow. What's up for the evening? Same crap.

After reading the AskMen forums and a slew of conflicting articles on the dating game, I have come to the conclusion that it's all nonsense. Waiting too long. Not waiting. Deciphering "signals." The "nice guy" syndrome. Feigning confidence. Getting the phone number. Rejection. The first date. Blah, blah, blah. This dating game is like everything else in life. It's controlled by the moneychangers and the shysters who want to capitalize on the fears and anxieties of an unsuspecting populace. They dissect and quantify the mating process in the guise of advice. Pop psychology is thrown in for good measure, but the real psychology is being applied on the unwitting victim. Incredible amounts of doubt and fear are being harvested which, in turn, increases demand for a large variety of products and services. When the latter is perceived as the de facto vehicle for success, the herd mentality takes over. Those of us who remain out of the loop will face a difficult road ahead. I am out of touch with the values of society, most of which is currently being formulated by the writers of sitcoms and "reality" programming on the tube. I am observing an incredible amount of false expectations in people, as well as an unusually high level of "projection." That's why the odds for success in relationships has decreased significantly. Yet, people are quite cavalier about this sorry state of affairs.

In her last e-mail, Shirley mentioned that she thinks she's fat. Give me a break! If anything, she's too thin. I suggested that she join the the gym, and then I'll show her how to become a hardbody hottie. I've got to find a babe, even if it means that I end up in a bad handmaiden-like situation. At least I would feel more alive than I do now. Sitting here, waiting for the Turds to come by is not my idea of living. The real problem, of course, is that I have losers for friends. I seem to attract losers. What does that tell you? In actuality, most unattached guys just give up when they reach 30 years of age. They become like The Master. They don't want to do anything unless there are babes around, but no babe wants to hang around losers. Catch-22. Perhaps I should rescind the five-year plan. It seems to be be stifling my progress. Or, perhaps I should just throw in the towel. I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. I am just like the other losers who are running down the clock.

Monday May 26

Unbelievable! There was an article by Shania Falcone on the AskMen site that addressed my phone phobia. "Once men begin to understand women's fanatical love of the phone and the crucial role that it plays in their lives, men can approach the phone with the respect it deserves, and treat telephone conversations with skilled tolerance rather than bored annoyance," she pointed out. I really love Step Four — Become one with the phone. Sheesh!

I saw the handmaiden's friend Ann at the bus stop. We only chatted briefly. I took the next bus to Hawai'i Kai and got off at Koko Marina. I did my usual workout at the gym. I planned my day well because I did not get to see the Ninja Turds. Moms said that Mr. Turd was supposed to stop by, but I knew that he wouldn't. Who cares? The only thing that bothers me is that the dolt file clerk brought over two other kids along with Turd Jr. They threw gravel all over the yard. I'd like to kick those little pieces of [dung] right in the ass. What a great holiday I had, eh? No wonder I'm ready to throw in the towel.

Tuesday May 27

At the Asylum, I was telling a few students in my class about the stalking incident with Toad. Then, Tiara and Michelle blurted out, "I'm sorry, but who the hell would want to stalk you?" Obviously, they were insinuating that I am an ugly, old loser. Well, tell me something that I don't know. Damned brain donors! Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa! I have to look in the mirror every morning so I know know how pitifully ugly I am. However, those two fat trollops need to take a good look in the mirror as well. I played along and told them that I am a virgin because no babe was ever attracted to the oversized cranium. That seemed to shut them up. I didn't bother to tell them that, in my lifetime, a few babes were actually not sickened by the horrific face of stone.

Glen and I were at the gym at the usual time. He has been bringing up my favorite Asian babe a lot. In fact, we did not think that she was going to be there, but she arrived a little later than usual. Baby wore a new skimpy gym outfit. She really stood out because she wore a tight magenta top. Glen kept telling me about the tight little body that she has. Well, yes, I've known that for a while. Later, she walked past us in the cardio section. "She's a hottie, and she knows it," I said. Glen nodded in agreement. I shouldn't act like I know what's going through baby's mind, because I don't. She obviously has a good job, so she has a lot more going for her than just the fact that she's a hottie.

Wednesday May 28

Sometimes life is just too comical. Kevin discovered that his application for Roach's position was ignored. Someone else has already been hired. In the past two weeks, he has been talking to me as if I am an outsider insofar as the Roach Inquisition is concerned. He is convinced that he single-handedly brought down the Roach Empire. Today, he described how his testimony was critical in bringing Roach to his knees. Several students were standing by us. I hailed Kevin as a hero, and the students agreed. I could see him gloating. He then continued about his courage and fortitude. I walked out of the room. I do not care to be recognized for my complicity in that affair. By the way, I was the only person to talk with the Asylum's legal counsel. What does that tell you? I am not surprised by what happened. I can see that Kevin is really weak. He is the only son in a patriarchal Chinese family. His sisters became successful attorneys. He teaches at the Asylum. His father looked upon him as a failure. He relies on his beliefs in Buddhism to carry him, but it is really a crutch to mask his weakness. He hastily married his foreign wife because he needed moral support. Lately, he's been reciting a lot of her opinions, which left me wondering if he had any opinions of his own. It's been almost a year since he began searching for a new job. Constantly, he would tell me that he would be leaving soon for some big $80,000 per year job. It's all come back. Here is where my pride did not get in the way. I let him enjoy his glory because his soul craves it. It made him feel good about himself at my expense. Does it really matter?

Glen was already at the gym when I arrived. My favorite Asian babe arrived at the usual time. She has really been dressing up for work lately. I did a double-take when I saw her. She is drop-dead gorgeous. Glen and I are now always talking about her. I have never told him about my observations of her proximity behavior. "She's always in sight, right where we can see her," he said. We were in the cardio section and she was across the way by the lat machines. Although Glen is observing the same phenomena, I will still attribute this to "coincidence." Later, she walked by us again. I happened to be on the Lifecycle in front of Glen at the time. When she walked by, I made sure that I looked straight at her. Of course, that was difficult to do because she is such a hottie. I am actually glad that Glen has been around. It's nice to have some male bonding.

Glen and I were also talking about local babes, specifically local Asian babes. "They're really bossy," he said. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't place it before. This is also a trait that I see in Shirley. That's the way it is here in Hawai'i. The familial system is explicitly patriarchal, but the babes run the household. Everything from raising the kids to handling the family finances is done by the babes. Now I see why I will never end up with a local babe. I sure hope my favorite Asian babe is not like that, not that it matter.

Thursday May 29

At the Asylum, I told Kevin, "You need to get rid of Bug, just like you got rid of Roach." I could tell that he enjoyed my homage to him. Domingo and Glen wanted me to join them on a jaunt to CompUSA, but I declined. I was hoping to do some work at the Diploma Mill. I was piddling around in the faculty computer room when my Prozac buddy came in. He sat at the computer next to me. I was taken by surprise when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Pseudo-professor Linda standing next to me. She has returned from the UK for the Summer. I was trying to have a nice conversation with her when my Prozac buddy came to life. He interrupted the conversation continually. Then, he tried to be comical, but he was coming across like a moron. Pseudo-professor Linda pretty much ignored him, but he didn't stop. She finally left.

On the way to the gym, I saw my Prozac buddy sitting in Taco Bell by himself. He had left to go to lunch moments earlier. Here, the guy with six business cards, attorney, mortgage broker, cell phone salesman, with all of these "friends" in high places, an Ivy League degree, sitting there eating his Burrito Supreme by himself. He told me that he needed to make $10,000 per month to feel good enough about himself and attract the kinds of drop-dead gorgeous babes that he deserves. He doesn't need Prozac. He needs Thorazine.

I'm glad that I have the gym. I was ready to explode, but I calmed down when I began my sets. Glen was there, as usual. My favorite Asian babe arrived a little earlier than usual. She was my area for the longest time. As always, she's either in my line of sight or visible by means of the mirrors. I wanted to tell Glen about the stupidity with my Prozac buddy, but I didn't. No one knows what is going on except those of you who read this journal. I do not trust anyone. By the way, I am sure there are a few people who are upset with the old fool because of his post on the forums. Later on, I will discuss the matter of stereotypes and how much I despise them. Did you know that the ol' lavahead is an ethnic minority? He was also victim to those stereotypes, but he fought them all the way. He also knows that there is some truth to those same stereotypes as well.

Shirley sent an e-mail last night. She has been very busy hanging out with her friends. She is also going to Colorado this Summer for two weeks with Ramona and a few other babe friends. It's interesting how babes can do this, but guys won't due to extreme homophobia (especially older guys). We still haven't decided on when we will celebrate her belated B-day. I suppose that she wants me to call her on the phone just like a date. She also said that she is willing do do a few things with the ol' lavahead, so we may have a little fun this Summer. That may be my only fun.

Friday May 30

What to do ... what to do ...

I have discovered that Roach has extended his employment for another two weeks. I also learned that he did not resign because of the Roach Inquisition. Rather, he was using his resignation as leverage to get another promotion and pay increase. That's how arrogant the little piece of [dung] is. Mr. Z sent me an e-mail to offer me the class at the Diploma Mill. I am now wondering whether I should take his offer. Since I won't be doing much this Summer, I might as well make more dough, eh?

"The tribulation will increase with each passing month. I will be pushed to the limit of sanity. I will be tempted with what I cannot have. Then, I will be denied my dignity." Well, my prophesy for the year has come true. I didn't think that I would be denied my dignity so soon. Couldn't it have waited until later in the year? Sheesh!

What to do ... what to do ...

Saturday May 31

Woke up. Drank a lot of coffee because I didn't sleep well. You can probably guess why. I left for town at 9am on the street bus. The ride was pleasant as the bus was pretty much empty for the whole trip. Pseudo-professor Robert was in the faculty computer room when I arrived. Perhaps I should thank him for what he did because it really does not matter. I have nothing to lose. I did some work, but not that much. I drank more coffee. I also called and left a message for Shirley. Then, I went to the gym for a quick workout. The ride home on street bus was also very relaxing. Shirley called and left a message. I could be imagining things but she sounded a lot a lot happier, probably because I was forced to call her on the phone. This obviously proves that I was right all along about babes and the damned phone.

What's up for the evening? Same old [dung]. That's it, I'm through! I'm throwing in the towel right now. I am renewing my vows as a monk. To celebrate, I may walk down to Koko Marina and pick up a big-ass bottle of the "Hammer." Yeah!

Countdown to ...

I took the street bus down to Koko Marina. I bought a bottle of Vendage Chardonnay, the one with the pathetic plastic cork. I walked home with the elixir. Naturally, I pushed the cork into the bottle. A few ounces of the elixir splashed in my face, no doubt to remind me of my loser status. The Net was so pathetically slow, which further enhanced my pathos. Surely, this is my lot in life, I said to myself. This is how I spent my Saturday night, It's all part of the Master Plan. Really? No, not really. I have been wasting far too much time on the babe situation. It's a lost cause. Why do I continue to fool myself into believing otherwise. Man, the "Hammer" always makes me see the light. Even the fake "Hammer."

What I should do is return to the fold and adhere to my five-year plan. I should accept the contract for the additional class and work my ass off. Then, I won't have time for any Tom Foolery. This is what my so-called "colleagues" do, and they're happier than a clam. I just have to wait out another year, and then the game is completely over. That's a stipulation in the Master Plan. When I hit the big Five-O, I become a monk permanently. The way I'm going, I'll be there in a wink of an eye.

Sunday June 1

Woke up. Big headache. Drank coffee. Lapsed in and out of a coma for most of the day. Summer is officially here. Last night, I amused myself by participating in the AskMen forums with the small handful of Saturday night losers. I had to add my two cents to the thread started by some clown, "chorizo," who has the hots for his babe professor. What a riot! My nerves were completely shot. I had to buy some things at Foodland for moms. I also bought a 40-dog of Miller Lite. I am drinking it as we speak.

Monday June 2

Although it was my day off, I left early for the Diploma Mill. I didn't sleep well last night. I had a couple of panic attacks as well. Pseudo-professor Ralph arrived at the faculty computer room just minutes after me. After wasting the day doing nothing, I went to the gym. Glen was already there. My favorite Asian babe arrived on time. She spent a good portion of her workout in my area. She is such a hottie. I was, of course, not in the mood to even be distracted.

I called Shirley and chatted with her for a long time. I did this from the faculty computer room. We will be going out on Friday, so I have to make dinner reservations and then figure out what to do afterward. She sent me e-mail later with her work schedule so that I can try to plan some other activities. I also discovered that I may have no choice but to take the additional class at the Diploma Mill. Mr. Z made it clear that, if I do so, he will put me on the "special favors" list (read: extortion) when he relinquishes his office to his successor next term. I'll only be able to see my favorite Asian babe twice in the week. If I ever met her, could you imagine what Prozac would do? This is going to be a long, cruel Summer. I will have to spend it alone and friendless just like Prozac.

Tuesday June 3

I did not sleep well last night, as you can imagine. Coffee is what propped me up for most of the day. I arrived at the Diploma Mill at 8:15am. I did only a little bit of preparation for my class. I met Mike at 10am at Starbuck's. He set me up with my cell phone service. Many people became somewhat frustrated with the ol' loser and resorted to badgering tactics. Not to worry, the ol' lavahead understands. He knows that his virtual homeys were looking out for his best interests. However, it was the post by Mike that made the decision for me. I am including it here for posterity:

This is going to be a long response. I've been a faithful reader of Losernet for almost 6 1/2 years now. In all that time I've never once until recently (May 3, 2003 at 04:58:30 AM by Anonymous) spoken up. I've always remained in the background, not willing to give up my anonymity. Even when the journal went offline for a while and you required everyone to email in for the private journal, I stood back, not wanting to be noticed, but I still checked in every few days waiting and hoping the journal would be made public again.

I read Losernet every day because I relate so much to you. The parallels between our lives sometimes startles me. I too went through a period with my own handmaiden. I too have been in jobs where Roach-like individuals served to make my life miserable. I also spent a portion of my adult life living with moms. I also do not know how to interact with women I'm interested in. In fact, the thought of asking a woman out pretty much terrifies me. I have had only one relationship in my life that I actually called the person my girlfriend and that was over a decade ago. I didn't go on my first date until I was 28 years old! I never kissed a woman until I was 31 (my one girlfriend). And it's not that I'm ugly or repulsive or in any way unattractive judging by the kind of women who seem to hit on me all the time (almost always very attractive, often gorgeous, often much younger than me).

At 42 years of age, I feel like life is passing me by. I'm wondering if I will ever get to be married or have kids. I have gone from obsession to obsession, always living in the past or living in the future, but never in the moment, hoping somehow that things will turn out with a woman the way I want them to. There have been many missed opportunities because I have been too afraid to take any chances, too afraid of feeling the anxiety, just wishing I could somehow just live in total isolation instead.

Right now, there is this woman whom I've know for a few years that I'm currently obsessed over. She's a real sweetheart and someone I've always loved very dearly (in a familial type of way). As I've gotten to know her over the years, I found myself just loving her more and more for who she is as a person. Late last year, we seemed to start to become closer. She invited me to her birthday, we started calling each other on the phone (me, calling! -- Mr. "The Phone Weighs a Thousand Pounds" ), I starting letting myself think about her more and more in a romantic way and she seemed to be thinking about me in that way too. I finally screwed up enough courage to ask her out for coffee. I never got an answer back from her and in fact the next time I saw her she seemed to be distinctly uncomfortable around me. So of course I took it completely personally and all I felt was the pain of rejection. What I didn't realize at the time and didn't find out until later was that she was going through a very tough time with her family where she had decided that she couldn't be in contact with them anymore because they were making her life miserable. All I could see was that she had rejected me and I had lost any opportunity with her.

I have lived in that misery for the last six months. Every time I see her, I go through another cycle of obsession and misery. But I put on the Data-like personality around her just so I won't have to be vunerable. Yet she has never indicated that she's not interested in me. In fact, I sometimes catch her looking at me across the room whenever we happen to be in the same place. Even when I'm squirming, hearing her talk about the latest guy she's dating, I would catch her noticing me, seemingly with the look of someone who's hoping I'm hearing what she's saying -- maybe to get a reaction out of me, I dunno.

But even with these indicators of interest, I am still frozen by the fear. I so desperately want to reach out, make a connection again, to take a chance. But I can't because I am too afraid of the pain and hurt that I truly believe will kill me if I have to go through it. I fantasize about that perfect moment that I know will never come where I tell her how I feel about her and she reacts to me in kind. I want the easy answers, but there are none. I want certainty, but there is none. I want to know how the future will turn out, but I am unable to.

I know how you feel and what you're going through. I don't know what to tell you and I'm certainly in no position to give advice. All I know is that I wish I could reach out to this woman whom I truly love unconditionally, someone I love for everything she is, good and bad, someone I respect and admire, someone who really makes me say, "Wow!," someone with whom I wish I could just talk to again.

T, however things turn out for you, whatever your decision is, whatever the outcome, just know that you are in my prayers. I don't know what the future holds for you and I don't know what it holds for me. I just want you to know that you are not alone all this and that I'm walking along every step with you.

I read that post over and over again. Tears actually welled up in my eyes.

I barely made it through my class because I was unprepared. I've got to get my act together. I discovered that one of my students was in my high school graduating class. I talked with him for some time after class. I arrived at the gym much later than usual. My favorite Asian babe was already there. Glen was also there, which surprised me because he said he would be late. My favorite Asian babe was looking real fine, and she was in proximity for a long time. At one point, I watched her walk a longer route just so that she could pass by inches away from me. Later, I noticed that she was always in my line of sight. Baby would be the ultimate test in facing rejection and humiliation like a man.

After the gym, I returned to the Diploma Mill. Prozac was still there. He had arrived just before I left for the gym. And, I also saw him before my class. I was cordial, but I can no longer deal with him. I dropped in my department office to accept the other class assignment. Jeannie, the secretary, and I had a good laugh because the contracts were already made out. So, I picked up my textbooks and resources. This has been a long day. I was somewhat stressed out earlier, but somehow a quiet calm overcame me. The express bus was 30 minutes late and I was the least bit bothered. Maybe I'm just too tired. Or, perhaps I have quelled the source of my frustration.

Wednesday June 4

An uneventful day. I did nothing except talk with various other faculty. I pretty much summarized the day in Speak! III by LoserNet, which I will quote excerpts:

Sitting here at the Diploma Mill on my day off can be rather enlightening. I learn that I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. As I meander down Fort Street Mall, I become keenly aware of my non-existence. It's simply mind-boggling. There are lessons to be learned from the latest fiasco. The main lesson is entropy. The longer time passes, the more likely that entropy will enter the system. Human nature is, in essence, chaotic.

I keep reading Mike's post, specifically, "I fantasize about that perfect moment that I know will never come where I tell her how I feel about her and she reacts to me in kind. I want the easy answers, but there are none. I want certainty, but there is none. I want to know how the future will turn out, but I am unable to." Haunting, isn't it?

I ended up restoring my monk haircut. The same guy as last time cut my hair. I gave him a decent tip. Heck, I have now allocated up to $1,500 for my Summer escapades.

Glen was already at the gym when I arrived. My favorite Asian babe was also there. She really amuses me. It's too bad that I can't hook up with her. Can you imagine what Prozac would do? Glen bought me a smoothie from Zeus Juice after our workout. Shirley keeps calling my cell phone to see if I will answer it. It was a nice day. I did feel more alive. However, it would have been an even nicer day if baby had called. I am now living what I quoted from Mike's post.

Thursday June 5

The Diploma Mill's authentication server went down so I lost my lousy dial-up connection. Pretty fitting, isn't it?

By late evening, I felt despondent, my hope of ever finding a babe dashed completely. All of those old doubts came back like a flood. Am I that despicable? Am I that unworthy? I looked for answers that were not there. I read Mike's post again. It almost seems as though I could have penned it myself. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I am still a monk. Now, it seems more like a prison sentence. My optimism returned when I realized that I faced the moment of truth without going through another "time of reckoning."

An uneventful day. My class at the Diploma Mill went well. It seems that, when I face adversity, I become even more comical than usual. I am going to have a good Summer no matter what happens. I had an interesting discussion with Pseudo-professor Paul yesterday, of which I will go into detail sometime later. Glen was already at the gym when I arrived. My favorite Asian babe wasn't there. I told Glen about my rejection by baby. "There are other fish in the sea," he said. A simple answer, but one that many of us do not accept. Most of the guys whom I've been around would not say anything like that. They would help me wallow in my misery, if not promote it. That's been the problem all along. We take the process too seriously. Even if the babes reject us, they will not look at us unfavorably unless they are truly evil. However, I will say that babes do not take well to rejection.

I walked to the Diploma Mill after the gym. My Prozac buddy was in the faculty computer room. I gave him my new phone number and chatted with him. I hold no grudges. In fact, he was the only one who could tell me the name of the new restaurant at the Ward Cineplex. My students actually told me about the place, but I forgot the name. I have been asking people all day because I need to make reservations for tomorrow night. Through Speak! III by LoserNet, Mr. C (in Kailua) suggested a place in Lanikila, but I want to stay in town. That way, we can do something after dinner as well. He also mentioned that he has seen Shirley at Daiei. If only she knew that she is a cast member. Sheesh!

To be continued ... Go to D.10

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