Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Wednesday March 17, 2004

I ran into Professor Marv yesterday when I was on my way to Chez Pasta. He said that the business department may have a happy hour get-together this Friday. I will most likely attend even though I don't particularly care to chat with the other faculty. It's going to be damned boring. I am not sure how I am going to make it through the year. I'll probably just end up isolated in my townhouse in Kane'ohe. That might do me some good, at least for a little while. The real advantage to having my own place is that I won't ever have to worry about seeing the Ninja Turds. That's a real blessing. And, I won't be trapped in the "cocoon" during the holidays.

An uneventful day. I basically did nothing all day. Shirley called. She had already eaten lunch, but she joined me at Taco Bell. She said that she and Lance are just "good friends." They may, however, hook up later. I gave her my spiel about all of that, which really won't make a difference. She also claimed to be very hammered when we were at the Mai Tai Bar. This may be a smokescreen for the chummy activity that was going on. I went to the gym. I also sopped in Chez Pasta for a drink. Then, I stayed in town until the last express bus. Moms bought me a take-out order from Panda Express. The fortune in the fortune cookie read, "You will take a chance in the near future, and win." It's a good thing Shirley didn't see that. I can just imagine what she would have said. It's a fortune cookie life!

Thursday March 18

The situation is looking pretty grim here. My social life has now been reduced to nothing. I have a mortgage to pay. I will be leaving the "cocoon," with the possibility that I have given the Ninja Turds a free ride. I suppose that I can keep myself busy for a few weeks as I clean and paint my new place. I will also have to go furniture shopping. The sad part is that I know I am simply creating my own hermitage, as it were. I just don't want it to end up being a coffin like The Master's hermitage. Let's face it. I am not adjusting well to the fact that I won't have Shirley to pal around with. This is a tremendous loss to me and I am, in fact, grieving over this. My trip to Cali will be a great reprieve. I hope to take full advantage of that time. I just hope that Caroll does not bring me down with her endless woeful tales. I am at the eleventh hour concerning my sanity. Something's gotta give!

Caroll called. She has gotten a new job. Hopefully, the new job will work out for her. So far, every job has been a total nightmare. I chatted with Pseudo-professors Ralph and Dorothy. Pseudo-professor Ralph will help me with the move this weekend. Debbie, my realtor, is supposed to call me tomorrow to deliver the keys for the townhouse.

I was prepared to disclose the purchase of the townhouse to my family, but I just wasn't in the mood. Everyone else knows about it, as well as my trip to Cali. My resentment has grown out of proportion. And, it all goes back to when Lori and I first moved back here. In the end, moms had decided to favor the Ninja Turds. My congratulations to the sister-in-law for doing such a great snow job.

Friday March 19

Shirley and I ate lunch at the Spaghetti Factory at the Ward Warehouse. She told Lance that she had something else to do. She ate lunch with Lance on Wednesday. Things seem to be progressing in a romantic direction. Lance called her while we were at lunch. Pseudo-professor Bill also called. He wanted to meet at The Shack out in Hawai'i Kai for a few drinks. I had to decline because I could not make it there by 4:30pm. I also ran into Professor Marv. He invited me to Happy Hour at Gordon Biersch. However, I was not feeling good at all because of a cold. So, I never made it there. Debbie also called. She wanted to give me the keys to the townhouse.

I left for Kahala Mall immediately after dinner. I stopped by Debbie's office to pick up the keys. Then, I meandered around the mall for a while. I still wasn't feeling well, so I returned to the "cocoon" fairly early. I have yet to disclose anything about the townhouse or my trip to Cali to my dysfunctional family. I am also preparing stuff to move from moms' house as well.

Saturday March 20

Caroll called this morning. She is starting her new job next week. She's going to be working in a kiosk in a mall. I hope it works out. I gave her my itinerary. So, I will be seeing her on Wednesday. The rain started up again. The weather here has been gloomy for weeks now. I am not sure what is going on. My cold has gotten worse. Yet, I have too many things to do before I leave.

This was a pathetic day. I left for Ala Moana at 10am. I ran into Pseudo-professor Robert while I was meandering around.  He was just meandering around as well. I called Pseudo-professor Ralph. He came by to pick me up. And, he helped me move the stuff, but the whole thing was a comedy of errors and a nightmare. We arrived in time to pick up the cargo van. Actually, it was a huge truck. We had to get the truck back by 4pm, so we just took everything

The rental part was a fiasco as well. I forgot my insurance card, so Pseudo-professor Ralph had to technically rent the truck. I ended paying for it in the end. After we unloaded the stuff, we were able to return the truck in time. Much of the stuff including the futon frame was damaged in transit. I was really pissed considering that I spent $60 to rent the damned truck. In addition, I took Pseudo-professor Ralph to Brew Moon for drinks and pupus. Another $50. The rain was really coming down when we were unloading the stuff. My cold is even worse now. I arrived back home at 7:30pm. Then, I left again. I drove my six-four back to the townhouse. I brought a few more items and my tools. I was able to repair a few things.

All I want to do now is to sleep. I want this cold to be done with. I want some piece of mind. By the way, I like my new townhouse. It really is a nice place. I need to do some work on it, but it will be a nice place to live. I have no choice anyway, since I just signed my life away.

Sunday March 21

This morning, the weather was terrible. My cold has gotten worse. I spent most of my night thinking about how I really didn't want to leave the "cocoon." Although the townhouse is nice, it was a bit lonely there. Yet, is loneliness better than the smothering effects of the "cocoon"? It was interesting to see baby's apartment and also the way she lived. I am still surprised that she had so much stuff, yet a lot were never used. She is really an enigma. Lori had called yesterday. I have to pick up a couple of items for her from Trader Joe's. I also have to find something for Shirley when I am in Cali. Today, I must figure out what to bring to Cali with me as gifts. I haven't even started packing yet.

I left for Ala Moana at 11pm. I shopped around for the usual Hawai'i gift items. Don't people get sick of those macadamia nut chocolates? There are hundreds of varieties of the same thing. I stopped off in Waikiki to look around for gifts. I ended up at Kahala Mall. I bought some Mau'i Caramacs and the famous Big Island Chocolate-coated shortbread cookies. The latter are $10 for a small box. Are they any good? They're okay, but not at that price.

When I returned to the "cocoon," I noticed that the Ninja Turds were here. They left immediately after I walked in the door. Something must be up. I told moms that I was going on vacation, but I still haven't discussed the townhouse. After today's suspicious activity, I am going to hold off until the last minute. After dinner, I took a few more things to the townhouse. I sorted through more of baby's stuff. It's laughable, but baby is inadvertently going to accessorize my place. Caroll called. We chatted briefly. My former student, Ryan, called and invited me to go to Nick's Fish Market tonight. He is doing the music tonight. I am starting to note all kinds of faults with my new place. First of all, it is filthy. I need to clean the carpets. The moisture and salt air is as bad as it is in Hawai'i Kai. The distance from Hawai'i Kai is further than I thought. I don't want to be driving that route often. The bus stops are not very close to where I live. Since it rains a lot more in Kane'ohe, I should have given that more consideration. What could I do? Anything in town would have been a lot more expensive.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I'll be flying to Cali for a week.

Monday March 22

The bus ride to the airport took two hours. The security check-in was a nightmare at the gates. However, I am not complaining. I finally boarded the plane. The flight ended up being 20 minutes ahead of time, and the journey was very pleasant. John was waiting when I got off the plane at 9:15pm. He still looks the same except that he is now completely gray. We drove to Rio Del Mar in Aptos, just south of Santa Cruz. I finally got to see the million-dollar beach house. It's small, but the whole interior has been redone. It's completely custom, something straight out of Architectural Review. We sat and chatted until the wee hours. John warmed up some canned clam chowder for dinner. It was delicious.

Tuesday March 23

I should mention that I have had a bad cold for a few days. And, it is not letting up at all. John and I walked to the only coffee shop near the beach. The funny part is that I have been here before. Caroll once rented an apartment just a couple blocks away. We drank our coffee and hit the road for San José. I ended up doing a few domestic chores with John for most of the day. He had to take the dog to the grooming place. Then, he took Linda's car in to the car wash. That ended up costing $149, if you can believe it. We walked around for a bit. We stopped in Trader Joe's. I bought the Ginger Chews that Lori wanted. We then went to Antipasto's Deli to buy lunch. We took the dog to the vet after that. We drove back out to the beach house. There was a bottle of wine lying around, so we drank that. We went out to Safeway, bought another bottle of wine, and drank that as well. John warmed up more canned clam chowder for dinner. I called Caroll and chatted with her briefly. Then, I got to play with John's new Acer Ferrari computer.

Wednesday March 24

John and I drove to San José to pick up my rental car. We then drove to Starbuck's for coffee. We sat there for a long time. Caroll called and asked when I was leaving. She then disclosed to me that she had to go to court in the afternoon, so she would be late. Why didn't she tell me this earlier? The drive to Sacramento was boring. It took two hours. Caroll called a few minutes after I arrived at 1:30pm. She was still at the courthouse. I went to Burger King and bought a Whopper (my way, of course!). Later, I came to find out that the trailer park which Caroll lives in is right next door. I browsed in a few stores. I finally decided to check in at the La Quinta motel. Caroll had reserved a room. I almost lost it when I saw that the room was $69. Caroll called right after I took a shower. She was back at her trailer. I drove there. We then went to Safeway to buy food for a barbecue. Caroll had invited her sister and brother-in-law over. I helped her start the fire. Her sister's family arrived shortly afterward. Their daughter was also with them. I cannot say that I enjoyed their company. However, I had to tolerate the family stupidity because that's the way families are. I was glad when dinner was over. I drove back to the motel and took another shower. I drove back to Caroll's trailer. We ended up talking until 2am.

Thursday March 25

Caroll and I left for downtown Sacramento at 9am. We went on the tour of the capital building. Then, we had a snack at a coffee shop. We took a few pictures before I had to leave. The weather turned bad quickly. It was pouring when I was driving back to San José. It took me three hours to get there. I took a quick shower. Then, John and I were off to see a play that his daughter was in. We arrived on time. Dinner was served. There were bottles of wine at the table, so I had to partake. After dinner, we walked into the theater. After the play, John and I drove back to Rio Del Mar. We had to stop and get more wine. We ended up getting pretty hammered.

Friday March 26

I had to leave the rental car at the San José house. So, we had to return it before going to the airport. We drove to the airport but we missed the exit. I had a 9:30 flight to LA, but I missed it. The next flight wasn't for another hour. John waited around with me. I was on standby for the next flight at 10:30am. When I went back, I found out that it was full and there was no hope for the next flight. Another guy on standby was waiting next to me. He suggested that I try the flight to Burbank. So, I ran down to the other gate. I was able to book a 10:45am flight. The flight took about an hour. It went quickly. An uneventful trip.

Saturday March 27

An uneventful flight back to San José. John and I dropped off our stuff at the beach house. We drove to Santa Cruz and walked around the pier. We ate dinner at the Miramar. Naturally, I had to have some wine. After dinner, we went to Safeway to get more wine. John put a DVD on for us watch back at the beach house. The movie was called "Second-Hand Lion." It was good. I polished off the bottle of wine myself. John went to bed. I called John in Modesto and chatted with him. I was actually in a bad way because of baby. I finally went to bed. What a lousy last day!

Sunday March 28

John got us up at 5am. I was tired for the rest of the day. We drove to San Francisco Airport. We made it in record time. So, we spent over an hour in the coffee shop. I finally boarded the plane. The trip was uneventful. I spent most of the time trying to figure out what happened with baby yesterday. I had no answers. I was really despondent about leaving Cali. Aside from yesterday, I had a great time. I really didn't want to return home. Caroll and Shirley called, but I was not able to chat with either of them. The trip on the street bus was okay. I returned at the "cocoon" at 3pm.

Monday March 29

When I finally returned to the "cocoon" last night, I was tired. Moms was trying to cook all kinds of food for me. Caroll called last night. Lori was on the express bus this morning. I gave her the Ginger Chews. We discussed my trip. I chatted with Pseudo-professors Bill and Glen. This Friday is the monthly Art Walk, so I am going to join Pseudo-professor Glen and his wife for that. We are also going to the Indigo Happy Hour. As always, I have an evening class on Monday.

Tuesday March 30

I received a distressing e-mail from the Dean at the Asylum. One of the computer faculty resigned last night. He apparently resigned because he was about to be terminated. No one has given me any details, but reason was very serious. His departure left two evening classes without an instructor. Thus, the Dean decided that I will take them. One of the classes was this evening. There was no way that I was going to be there with just a two-hour notice. So, I avoided going to the Asylum. I was pretty irate. I will have three evening classes now. What's worse is that the evening classes at the Asylum go from 6pm to 10pm.

I went to the gym and then I piddled around the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. I left for the "cocoon" on an earlier express bus. I decided to tell moms about the townhouse during dinner. Moms told me that I should have bought a place a long time ago. Moms is going to invite the Ninja Turds to move back in, and she will be leaving the house to them as well. I expected nothing less. I am on my own. I told moms that I can no longer afford to pay the rent, but I will have to stay for a couple of weeks. So, starting this weekend, I am going to clean my place and go furniture shopping. Moms wanted to give me a bed and my favorite chair, but I declined. I want to choose my own furniture.

Overall, this will be a difficult time. I will essentially be strapped financially from this point forward and I will have no safety net. I am extremely worried because of my precarious employment situation. However, I can no longer live in the "cocoon."

Wednesday March 31

I spent most of last night changing my address on-line for all of my accounts. I have a lot more to go, but this is all part of the process. I am leaving the "cocoon." I can't say that I am really happy with the end result. The Ninja Turds will finally get their wish — a free house. And, moms will become a prisoner in her own house. I should be happy that I won't be enslaved by that crap any longer.

A long, crappy day. The Asylum is a complete mess. I discovered that the faculty member who resigned was allegedly caught chokin' da chicken in an empty classroom two weeks ago. The odd part is that the classroom was empty because no students showed up. I do not buy this story, although it was allegedly confirmed by a security guard. Even more idiotic was the faculty meeting. I also learned that Ernie tried to mack on the guy student who was accused of sexually harassing female students. I have a feeling that Ernie framed him because of that. There were two resignations and a lot of drama. The Dean also threatened my job. He wants me to be more like Ernie. Frankly, I am neither a con man or a faggot. Kevin apparently wants my job. No one can be trusted anymore. I must now facilitate one of the night classes, and I have to solicit businesses to see if anyone will accept our students as interns. The latter function has been tacked on because no one in the job placement office wants to do any work, This crap comes about just as I am incurring a mortgage. This could be the fastest foreclosure in history.

After I returned to the "cocoon," I ate dinner. Then, I drove to Kane'ohe. I moved a few more items to the townhouse. And, I cleaned it up a little. I want to get the carpets cleaned this weekend, if possible.

Thursday April 1

Another grueling day at the Asylum. I have been spending hours in meetings with Vivian, the human resources person. I told her that I chatted with the Dean of the nursing program at the Diploma Mill when I was at the Hawai'i Loa campus this morning. I specifically went in to discuss Ernie. Apparently, Ernie flunked out of the nursing program. The Dean laughed when I told him that Ernie is claiming to be in the medical program at the UH. He also warned me, "Make sure he's never alone with a woman," I guess he hits on anything that moves. He also mentioned that Ernie was on a Hawai'i Community Foundation scholarship. He knew nothing about the monk crap. Vivian told me that Ernie was on a three-week leave with pay. She also warned me to watch out because several people are trying to set me up for a fall. She told me that I couldn't trust Kevin.

I ran a few errands in conjunction with my townhouse. Then, I bought my dinner at Taco Bell. After dinner, I went back to the Asylum to facilitate the class. It really became apparent to me that the Asylum is a total joke, and it's going to go under. Nothing can save it. Professor Marimi sent me e-mail about a visiting professorship with the math department at the Diploma Mill. She urged me to apply. The punchline was that the notice came out today. The deadline is tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm going to give it a shot. When I returned to the "cocoon," moms was very nice to me. Now that I'm leaving, everything is okay. That's how it works in my dysfunctional family. The Ninja Turds will wear out their welcome once they move in. This move is the best decision I've made.

Friday April 2

Another grueling day at the Asylum. I spent most of the day inmeeting. I spent a few hours with the Dean and his fat bitch assistant. Both of them have betrayed me. It turns out that they did offer Kevin my position without even telling me anything. I realized this after Kevin told me that he had to tell the Dean that he was not interested in the position. I cannot trust Kevin like I used to, but I certainly cannot trust the two fools who are supposed to be the new leadership of the Asylum. They have become desperate and they are now grasping at straws.

I applied for the visiting professorship position at the Diploma Mill, but I became keenly aware that this is part of another pathetic political machination. The math department is divided into tow factions and now I have crossed the line. The issue is Professor Manny, who happens to be a friend of mine. One faction is trying to prevent him from gaining full professorship. Thus, the other faction keeps renewing him in the one-year visiting professorship to keep him on. I get along with people on both sides, so now I don't really know what's going on. All I want is a job to pay my mortgage. I do my duties well and I don't care about the politics. I just want to make my damned mortgage payments. I got a lead from Pseudo-professor Franklin, so I sent e-mail to the contact at Chaminade University. I just need to get some stable employment going. I am already planning my contingencies when the shit hits the fan. I am prepared to do what I need to do. I am not losing the townhouse because of these fucking asswipes.

I went to the Indigo Happy Hour with Pseudo-professor Glenn and his wife. Then, we went on the Art Walk. Was I hammered? You bet! Kevin called just before I boarded the street bus. He said that he told the Dean he was not interested in the position. There would be no reason to call if he did not feel some kind of guilt. Yes, it's obvious that he was ready to betray me as well. All of that for chump change. It doesn't matter. The real culprits are the Dean and the fat bitch assistant. They will all get what they deserve in the end. I am being warned that the eleventh-hour is near. It's time for me to act.

I had another chat with Lori on the express bus this morning. I told her about this crap. She also said that I was "hot." It's funny. but she really thinks that I am some kind of guy hottie. I always notice that babes seem to be looking at the oversized cranium. I noticed this at the Indigo and at one of the art galleries. I cannot be sure why they are looking. I could be a real grotesquerie. I need to find a babe. My life is just one big chaotic mess. I need someone around to smooth it out. Fat chance, eh?

Saturday April 3

Shirley had called yesterday afternoon. We only chatted briefly. Lori called last night. Brenda, Debbi, Lori, their studs, and I are supposed to meet for dinner next week. Caroll called this morning. She just started her new job. Moms told me that she hasn't asked the Ninja Turds to move in yet. She has to fix the bathtub first, and that won't be until June. Moms said that I could stay up until then. I am, however, only extending my stay until I clean the carpets and buy some furniture.

I took the street bus to town. I bought a bottle of 409 cleaner at Long's. Then, I took the next bus to Kane'ohe. The walk from the bus stop to my place is a lot longer than I remembered. It will be heel when I have to catch the bus in the rain. I cleaned all the doors and walls today. I can get by without painting the place. I spent over an hour cleaning the fridge. It was that pathetic. Lori called. She is willing to lend me her carpet cleaner. So, I may get that done tomorrow. All I will have left is the bathroom and the floors. I was fatigued, so I left at 2pm. I arrived in Hawai'i Kai close to 4pm. I did my tanning hike up Koko Head. When I returned, I did my yardboy chores. I will try to get as many chores done as possible before I move out.

After dinner, I took the bus to Kahala Mall. I meandered around. I bought some wood glue at Long's. I will need that to fix the futon. Caroll called again. She said that she was not in the mood to talk, so she was going to a meeting. She relies heavily on the 12-step program. I was not in the mood to talk either. Actually, I am ready to become a monk again. After the crap I was privy to last week, I'm not sure if I can function in society. I will simply concentrate on getting my place together for the time being.

Sunday April 4

Malia has been corresponding regularly through e-mail. It has become apparent that there are some unresolved issues. She had asked about my trip to Cali, so I provided the details. Why would this affect a married babe? The last e-mail was similar to a jealous tirade. I am somewhat disappointed by this. However, it proves once again the difficulty in being friends with babes. When I was in Cali, Caroll gave me some crap about my trip to LA. Lori has made some curious comments as well. Why must all babes be so "catty"? Perhaps I am better off as a monk. I already have enough grief from the Dean and his fat bitch assistant at the Asylum. I don't need more grief from babes.

The hosuing situation in Hawai'i is totally out of hand. There is a shortage of inventory. Even new housing projects have gone to a lottery system. Prices for homes have gone up significantly. Townhouses have only inched up in prices, but availability is also low. New developments are selling out even before construction has started. It's totally amazing. I do not expect prices to go down even after interest rates go up. No matter what, I believe that I made a good move to buy my own place.

Lori called this morning. She and Kirk, her husband, dropped the carpet cleaner off. Kirk showed me how to use it. I was washing and waqxing my six-four at the time. Kirk is actually a really nice guy. Lori did well for herself. After they left, I finished up what I was doing. Then, I packed everything in my six-four and drove to Kane'ohe. I arrived at 10am. I spent the rest of day working. First, I cleaned the floors. Then, I put a few things away. I also moved everything into the kitchen and bathroom. I also spent some time repairing the futon. I then cleaned the carpets. I had to heat the water in a pan because I still haven't contacted the gas company. I finally finished at 4pm. I was hungry and fatigued. So, I walked to Windward Mall. I bought a sandwich and a cold drink at Subway. I noticed that the whole mall was full of locals. It dawned upon me that the Windward area is completely dominated by locals, much like West O'ahu. At this point in time, I am not sure if that is good or bad.

I stopped off at kirk and Lori's place to drop off the carpet cleaner. Lori was gone, so I chatted with Kirk for a bit. I also got to see their house for the first time. It's a pretty nice place up on the ridge. All I did this weekend were various chores that I put off for so long. At least I am getting the townhouse ready for occupancy. I've got to give the carpet a good vacuuming. Then, I will be ready to buy furniture. I am not sure if any of this even matters any more. I am a family of one. I've got much more than I need.

To be continued ... Go to D.30