Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Monday April 5, 2004

Lori and I chatted on the express bus this morning. We will be doing lunch sometime. We are also getting together next next for dinner along with Debbie and Brenda ( and all of their significant others) to celebrate the purchase of my place. I am not sure what there is to celebrate since my employment situation is very precarious. I spent most of the morning at the Asylum. I generated a bunch of useless and patronizing e-mail to meet the objectives of my new job description. Malia sent e-mail. Then, Lori sent e-mail. Yes, I only hear from the babes.

Shirley and I had lunch at Taco Bell. She asked about my trip. I asked her about Lance. Apparently, things have cooled off, although I was not given any reason. Shirley's B-day is at the end of week. We will most likely go out to dinner. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing more work. I also went to the gym. Robert stopped by the faculty computer room. He hurt his back when he slipped and fell while taking the trash out at his "cocoon." He also told me that it's over as far as the babe situation is concerned. He had read an article that burst his pretty balloon about the Russian babes. Did he really think that those Russian babe sites were legitimate? Sheesh! Pseudo-professor Bill was there as well. He said that he'd give me a call on Saturday. We'll probably get a few drinks somewhere in Hawai'i Kai. Pseudo-professor Glenn also came by. We are most likely going to hit the Indigo Happy Hour next Tuesday. I am just trying to have a good time.

Tuesday April 6

Sometimes I think I should follow Lori's plan. She made of the fifty things she wants to before her time is up. Then, she just went down the list and did them. I have got to do something to get me out of the doldrums. Of course, Lori does not have to worry about losing the roof over her head. However, the Asylum has made my life so miserable that I need some kind of diversion. I am not even certain that I want a babe anymore. I have become more inclined to return to the monk life-style. Well, I am just going to work on getting my place ready for occupancy.

The visiting professor position was simply a joke. Several of us in the lowly pseudo-professor rank were exploited and used to stage a coup to oust Professor Manny. I am a little perturbed by all of this since I may have jeopardized my own position at the Diploma Mill. The Asylum was even more dismal. Frankly, I am getting sick and tired of these political games. These asswipes have nothing better to do than to stir up trouble.

I am also becoming keenly aware that many people resent the ol' lavahead. How can the low man on the totem pole afford to buy his own place? Most of the faculty are married with two incomes and they are not exactly better off than I am. In addition, how can the ol' lavahead look like he's still in his thirties? That alone must really torque some jaws. I try to lead a very low key life-style. I don't get involved in the political machinations of the idiots around me. And, I always make sure to make time for myself. I wasn't dealt a better hand in the card game of life. So, they should get over it.

A side note about babes. For example, there's Shirley. She has high expectations. She still lives in the "cocoon." She's about ready to turn 24 years old. She wants to be married in four years. She also wants to live in a house in Kailua. You can imagine what the prices for houses are, so there is almost no way that any young couple is going to afford a place even with two incomes. Most of the guy friends whom Shirley knows are still living in the "cocoon" as well. Lori told me yesterday that many babes "go from father (or parents) to husband." I suppose that's true. It truly amazes me that these babes are totally unaware that most guys only want da wild thing. Just like the babes, they bring nothing to the table. The more I think about, the more I see that I am better off as a monk.

Wednesday April 7

An uneventful day for once. I spent most of the morning at the Asylum sending a barrage of e-mail. I am trying to maintain a virtual paper trail. Shirley and I ate lunch at Taco Bell. Obviously, she is not spending a lot of time with Lance. She told me a humorous story about Shorty. Apparently, Shorty's arm is in a sling. She was hammered one night and she scraped her car against something. She got angry and punched the offending object. Shorty has been doing a lot of "social" drinking lately. I ran into Professor Manny at the Diploma Mill. He did indeed clear up the fact that political machinations were at play. I was somewhat sad to hear that I had a part in that fiasco, albeit unwitting. I went to see the math department head after the gym. I wanted catharsis concerning the situation. However, he feigned any real knowledge of what was happening.

I am at the stage where I don't really know what's going on anymore. I am tired of the political machinations. I just want a quiet life, preferably with a babe. I thought about driving over to my place this evening, but I was too fatigued. Friday is essentially a holiday for me, so I will go furniture shopping. Then, I will go to my place. I've got a huge side-by-side fridge. I'm probably going to stock it with wine. I'll be going back to cans of tuna and Bush's baked beans. That's the bachelor life, eh?

Thursday April 8

I facilitated my morning class at the Hawai'i Loa campus. I actually thought that it would be a nice uneventful day. I even took the bus to the HomeWorld furniture store to look around. The furniture was way too expensive for me. I had to stay in town because I had to meet with students in my night class at the Asylum. The class is being converted to independent study, so it will no longer meet at all. When I got there, I found out that I had missed a meeting that was hastily called at 3pm. The notice was sent out by e-mail only a few hours earlier.

The bottom line is that the Asylum has been sold. The new owner is a Persian guy, if you can believe it. He's from Cali. He actually owned ten small schools similar to the Asylum. He recently sold them off. Now, he owns the Asylum. Vivian, the human resources person, was still there when I arrived. The new owner, Sam, was also there. He was taking a tour of the place. Everyone was kissing his ass. Vivian gave me a notice. It was a termination notice, the same one that every staff and faculty member will be receiving. No one there looked happy. I suspect that the people who heard the news from the grapevine are probably in a really bad way. Heck, I was in a bad way. If any of you do not believe in the sinister kahuna, maybe now you will change your mind. I have not slept one night in my place, and now I may lose the place.

I have an interview next week with Chaminade, but it's only for a part-time position. I am also still in the running for the visiting professor position, and even Professor Manny is behind me. I called Kevin and Chip. Chip called back within a few minutes. He's not sure what to think. I called Vivian. She believes that everything will turn out for the better. She is certain that we will at least make it through as a transition team. As for me, I am like Chip. I don't know what to think. We're all expendable. Kevin finally called back at 9:30pm. He's not sure what to think either. We had quite a long discussion. In any case, we know that our time is limited. We have to establish a few contingencies.

I am prepared to make a number of moves. I have $94,000 in savings, of which $13,500 is in IRAs. And, I have $1,800 in my checking account along with a pathetic $650 in my new 401(k) account. I will do what is necessary to keep the townhouse. Rather than panic, I will continue as planned. I will still buy the furniture. I will still move in. It's all a risk, but this is the Year of Living Dangerously.

Friday April 9

I left for town before 9am. Lori called while I was in transit on the bus. We ended up meeting at Kahala Mall for lunch. We ate at the small Japanese concession in Zippy's. The food was good. Afterward, we had a drink at Chili's. I am buying a used queen-sized bed from Lori's friend Colleen. For $150, I cannot go wrong. We will move it to my place on Tuesday. I went back to town to go to the gym. Then, I took the bus back to Kahala Mall. I looked around Barnes & Noble for a few minutes while I waited for the next bus. After dinner, I took the bus back to town. I went to Pier I to look around. Several items are on sale that I want. One is the "Papasan" chair. The sale ends tomorrow, so I will probably drive there in the morning. I took the bus back to Kahala Mall. I browsed around Barnes & Noble again while I waited for the next bus. There's an Asian hottie who works there. I've seen her there for over a year. Man, if I could have a babe like her, I'd be a happy old guy.

I cannot say that I was in a good mood today. I can sense that there is a strong undercurrent of stress building up because of the shitty news from yesterday. Over the past five years, the fucking Asylum has been at the root of most of my problems. I have had to tolerate all of that crap while I remained single and celibate. How much more unnerving can that get? At this point in time, I am uncertain about what I am going to do. I deeply regret the purchase of the townhouse because it has only increased the stress level. I have no idea why everything fell apart at the seams at the same time. It's beyond coincidence. The sinister kahuna is trying to bring me to my knees. It waited until the opportune moment when I was at my weakest. I am about ready to snap. This is what probably brought Robert to the breaking point when he was on Mau'i. That's when he really threw in the towel. He lost his townhouse and went into bankruptcy. I cannot let this happen. If I fall into the Abyss now, I will never come back out. What am I going to do?

Saturday April 10

I am even more unnerved than yesterday. I am losing my job, and I have to spend money on furniture. Buying the townhouse was probably the worst decision I made in my life. I knew back in January that something was going to happen. Sure enough. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Now, I am up Shit Creek without a paddle. It's laughable because this is how my life has been for as long as I know. I get a small break and then everything collapses. And, the most sorrowful aspect is that I don't have a babe. Kick a man when he's down!

I called Glen to see if he could help me out. I can't fit the "Papasan" chair in my six-four. I picked him up at his place and we switched cars at Ala Moana because his wife takes the car to work. He has a mid-sized SUV so the chair can easily fit in it. It turns out that Pier I doesn't stock large items in the store. The items are at the Warehouse on Nimitz Highway. The warehouse is closed on weekends, so I will have to pick it up next week. I was quite perturbed. Glen and I went to CompUSA for fun and then we switched cars again, and I dropped him off. I drove back to Hawai'i Kai. I called Lori and drove to her place. I got a tour of her house. She broke open a bottle of Merlot for me. I sat and talked with her for a while. Then, I borrowed her vacuum cleaner. I drove to Kane'ohe. I spent the rest of the afternoon there. I did a quick vacuum job. The carpets actually looked a lot better. I drove to Safeway and bought a bottle of cheap Merlot. I continued my celebration and did what I could around the place. I was somewhat hammered by late afternoon. Lori had given me a nice wood wine rack. I'll soon fill it with more wine. I left my place at 5:30pm. I dropped the vacuum cleaner off and went back to the "cocoon." Shirley's B-day was yesterday, but she and I will be celebrating tonight. I originally made reservations at Ruth's Chris teak House. Shirley wanted to go to Roy's instead, so I changed the reservations.

Sunday April 11

Dinner was excellent at Roy's. Shirley and I were there until 10:30pm because we had late reservations. She also mentioned that she and Lance do not have much in common, so the romance has cooled off. However, her friend Ramona now has a boyfriend. Well, the only thing that never changes is the amount of grief that I get. No babe. No life. And, soon no job. Sheesh!

I tried to tell Shirley that guys don't want to settle down until close to 40 years of age. Most guys just want a "girlfriend" so they can have a steady source of da wild thing. That's it. She argued with me on this point. Is she so naïve to not realize this? When Lance asked her out, he wanted them to go out drinking. Sometimes he asked her to the movies or to do something more benign. Taking a babe out drinking is the key to loosening them up. Then, the chance of da wild thing is increased. Why don't babes see this? Most young guys neither have the financial resources or the maturity to invest in quality time with a babe. Then, if the babe doesn't put out, it's over. Shirley will have to learn this the hard way, I suppose.

I am happy for Lori, by the way. She has the life she's always wanted. She seems very happy. We were just better off as friends. And, there is no doubt that she has made a lot of things possible for me through her friends. In my current situation, I find that Lori has much more optimism about my future than I do. Yet, she's probably right. Her ideas make sense and I will give them consideration. I find that babes often provide good advice. Most of the guys whom I know cannot offer any kind of sensible opinions. Seeking out Russian babes is an example of the kind of advice I get from them.

Moms was preparing all kinds of food yesterday, so I thought the Ninja Turds would be by when I was gone. However, it turns out that moms was planning to cook today. So, the Turds will be by later. I will make myself scarce. I am not sure if moms has told the Turds about anything yet. I am too fatigued to care about those losers. I've got my own set of woes.

I hiked up Koko Head this morning. Then, I took the bus to Ala Moana. I bought a bottle of wine and some snacks. Then, I was off to Kane'ohe on the bus. It was raining when I got off. I forgot to bring my umbrella. I was really perturbed when I finally got to my place since I was drenched. I piddled around all afternoon. I actually found some hardware lying around which I used to finish the futon. I had gone to City Mill earlier and discovered that it was closed. The futon is as good as new. I put the covers on the futon mattress, which made a big difference. I have also decided that I am not going to buy a dining set. Instead, I am going to buy a cheap set of resin chairs and a resin table for my lanai. That's going to be my dining set. Yep, I'm going to eat outside. I will also get some candles from Pier 1 to add to the ambiance. I was pretty hammered by late afternoon. I locked up and left for home on the bus. That's my exciting day. At least I figured out a way to save hundreds of dollars.

My place will be nice when I am done. I noted that I will only need a loveseat for my living room. And, a 5' by 7' rug will be perfect to cover the soiled carpet. I also buy dishes and flatware from Pier 1. I will only buy a set of two. That's all I will need. At least I will live well until the foreclosure. Too bad I don't have a babe.

Monday April 12

An uneventful day. There is still an air of apprehension at the Asylum. Kevin and I met with the Dean. He tried to assuage our fears. I just couldn't buy it. I am very skeptical of the whole situation. I did glean one useful piece of information. The new owner is not too keen about increasing our pay. Overall, I have never seen so much confusion in my life. The communication from upper management has been non-existent. Shirley did not call to meet for lunch today, so I assumed she was busy. I had to walk outside to run an errand. I saw her sitting across the way with a stud, probably the older, local guy she mentioned a while back. She looked down at the ground immediately when I was in her view. When I returned to the campus, she did the same thing. Of course, I acted like I never saw her. It really doesn't matter to me. However, I see what's happening. After her friend Ramona hooked up, she is now in a bind to follow suit. One has to understand that Ramona was like a pillar of strength to Shirley. I believe that's one of the reasons why Shirley stayed single for so long. Now, with Lance and the other guy, it's obvious that she wants to hook up.

Robert came by the faculty computer room this afternoon. I was surprised to see him. We chatted about the usual nonsense. I also told him about the crap at the Asylum. He seems to be satisfied with life in the "cocoon." Pseudo-professsor Bill was also there. He had called me from Iowa on Saturday. He was there for a funeral, so he could not meet me for drinks. I learned that the funeral was for a buddy of his. He had just seen the guy during Spring Break. He had a massive heart attack. The guy was only 54 years old. It really becomes obvious how little time there is. Since I ride the bus every day, I am privy to see a large number of senior citizens. Growing old is not pretty. And, to think, Robert and I are just wasting the last precious moments by doing nothing. Truly, we still do lead parallel lives.

Tuesday April 13

There was a call from a blocked number shortly before 8am this morning. I only know two people with blocked numbers. I was fatigued today because I didn't sleep well last night. Yesterday was a long day because I had a night class. After I finished with my morning class at the Hawai'i Loa campus, I returned downtown. Lori called at 12:30pm to tell me that she and Colleen were on the way with the bed. I caught the shuttle back to the Hawai'i Loa campus. They were already waiting there. I caught a ride with them. We dropped the bed off at my place. At $150 for the whole thing, it was a steal. It's a queen-sized bed. They dropped me back off in town. I went to the gym. Then, I stopped by the Asylum for a few minutes. Rather than go to the afternoon meeting, I ended up at the Indigo Happy Hour with Pseudo-professor Glenn. We had already arranged to meet last week. That was a lot of fun. We left in time for me to catch the last express bus out of town. I was extremely fatigued when I returned to the "cocoon." Too much running around.

Wednesday April 14

Now is as good a time as any to discuss the state of the babe situation. I am becoming keenly aware that Robert is on the money concerning this matter. It's truly over for us. Babes want exciting studs. Guys who make their mouths water and are sexually attractive to them. None of the babes care if we have money or have a house, although they are not impressed by the "cocoon." Robert and I are both very blasé and boring. We're not studs either. And, we're both too old. In a few short years, we'll be shriveled up prunes. Actually, this is a real thorn in my side. I am sick and tired of the single life, but that's the end of the line for me. I really should have bought a studio (read: cell) in one of those high-rise condos. I could have just lived a simple life like I did in the Roach Motel. A sleeping bag would have worked fine. I could sit on the floor and use a dim lamp like I did back then. Who really cares? The place would have cost me less than half of what I paid for my place. No one has really seen my place. Pseudo-professor Ralph got to see it. And, Lori saw it for the first time yesterday. I am not planning to invite anyone over, yet I am making the place look really nice. It's a total waste of time and money. Obviously, I must have some ulterior motive. Perhaps I can impress a babe, I must be thinking. What a laugh!

I wanted a queen-sized bed minimum. Why? Am I expecting to find a babe soon? Moms would have given me the small bed that I sleep on now. Isn't that enough for a loser? I am putting a "Papasan" chair and a loveseat in the living room when I am the only one who will be sitting in there. At least I had the sense to mummify the puchase of a dining set. What could be more pathetic than a dining room set for four when I will be the only one eating there? Am I going to sit in a different chair every night? So, why did I buy four wine glasses? I now have the sense to realize that I only need dinnerware and flatware for a maximum of two, yet who will be the other person? All of this costs money. Why am I spending that money for nothing? The futon is both a couch and a bed. I could have put that in the living room and left all the other rooms empty. What am I doing?

An uneventful day at the Asylum. We are all just waiting around for our demise. I went to the gym. Afterward, I spent my afternoon in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. I listened to House Music on Net radio. Lori called and asked me to take a bus to the Blaisdell Center. I would catch a ride with her there. I stopped off at Ché Pasta for a glass of wine. By the way, I didn't realize that I had spelled the name of the place wrong all this time. I rode the bus to the Blaisdell Center. Kirk and Lori picked me up. We drove to Waikiki. Dinner was at Hy's Steak House. It's fabulous place. We sat and drank wine while we waited for Debbie and Brenda to show up. I was somewhat hammered when everyone arrived. We moved to the dining room. We were there until 10:30pm. I was so full. Before ordering, I asked asked Lori why she helped me out. She was on the verge of crying, so she used her menu to hide that from everyone else. She told me that she wanted us to always remain friends. She said that she really cared about me. I was very touched. As you know, Lori has helped me out throughout this process right down to the bed I just bought. All in all, it was a memorable night.

Thursday April 15

I was really fatigued today. I barely made it through my class at the Hawai'i Loa campus. After I returned to town, I tried to rest for a bit. Then, I took the street bus to Chaminade University. I had an interview with the department chairperson. He did most of the talking. In the end, he told me that he needs an expanded curriculum vita from me. Once I submit it, he will push through the paperwork for Fall term. The position is part-time. However, there are some interesting conditions. First, I can be hired immediately to do math classes. That's good. However, the university is planning to expand into engineering through a partnership with Dayton University on the mainland. My engineering background was particularly attractive to him. There is a possibility that I could get into the ground floor of the new program. He also found my various degrees and teaching diversity to be a plus. I will submit the paperwork within a week.

The Dean at the Asylum is pretty certain that most of us will continue on in our current positions. He is trying hard to sell the technical programs to the new owner. That's not too difficult since the new owner is technically oriented. He was a software engineer.

There's been a lot of activity on Speak! III by LoserNet. Anonder made a rare appearance. I am digesting his opinions as we speak. He is disappointed that I did not follow his advice on investments and babes. In a sense, I did follow some of his advice. All of my investments are locked in conservative funds. I am looking at the townhouse as a reasonable investment as long as I can pay the mortgage. I would have had to rent a place anyway. Most places are unfurnished, so buying furniture is moot. I am revamping my needs so that I can reduce my expenses. I am also taking a more conservative approach to furnishing my place. And, I am slowly realizing that I don't need babes. I lived without a babe for so long, so it doesn't make a difference. I have to come to the same point that Anonder is at. It's really the same as the monk life-style.

Friday April 16

An uneventful day. I spent the morning at the Asylum. Then, I went on a shopping adventure. I took the bus to K-Mart near Dole Cannery. Obviously, I went to check out the housewares. Lori was not kidding. I will be able to buy a nice rug for about $40 as well as some other things. Lori is going to give me Colleen's bedding tomorrow morning. So, I will have sheets and a comforter. I then took the bus to Ala Moana to check out the microwave ovens at Sears. I went back to town and looked around Ross and Macy's. None of this is my idea of fun, by the way.

I did not hear from Shirley all week, so I assumed she's busy with stud. The pressure is on. She's the only one of out of all of her babe friends who is still single. That's fine with me. I've got too many other things going on now. Each day is a lesson in crisis management. I went to the gym. Then, I took an earlier express bus back to the "cocoon." After dinner, I decided to drive to Pier I and pick up my "Papasan" chair. I took the back seat out of my six-four to make room. I stopped by Foodland and bought three more bottles of wine for my wine rack. Parking at Pier I was a nightmare. I finally was able to load up my "Papasan" chair. I drove to Kane'ohe. It felt nice to be home. I assembled the chair and put it in the living room. I tried to figure out the layout of the room. I think I know what I will do. I am going to buy a loveseat instead of a sofa. The sofa will be too big. I also tried to assemble Colleen's bed. The screws for the frame are slightly stripped, so I will need to bring some tools with me tomorrow. The place is looking pretty good.

I am going to pick up some dinnerware and flatware at Ross. Seems to be the best prices. And, yes, I am buying only a two-place set. I had a bottle of Merlot still open from last week. So, I polished that off while I piddled around my place. I left at 10pm. I will spend most of the weekend there. I also plan to go furniture shopping sometime. When I returned to the "cocoon," I noticed that moms prepared a turkey to cook. The Ninja Turds will be over sometime again. I'll be making myself scarce.

Saturday April 17

Moms began cooking early this morning. So, I left fairly early. I tried to call Lori, but her phone was off. I left a message. She called while I was walking to the bus stop. I will have to pick up the bedding later in the week. The bus ride went well, although it took me forever to get to Kane'ohe. I set up the bed and did a few other chores. Caroll called. I chatted with her for a few minutes.

Pseudo-professor Bill called as well. He wanted to meet for a few drinks. I really did not want to drink for the rest of the weekend, but my resolve is obviously weak. He wanted to meet in Waikiki. I left Kane'ohe at 3pm. Traffic was bad near Ala Moana. It took me about an hour to get from Ala Moana to Waikiki, much longer than the trip from Kane'ohe to Ala Moana. I finally met up with Pseudo-professor Bill. We walked to Moose McGillicuddy's. We chatted for a while. I missed the last bus heading to Hawai'i Kai, I was completely hammered. I had to take a bus back to town to catch the bus to Kahala Mall. I had enough time to use the restroom before the bus to Hawai'i Kai came. When I returned to the "cocoon," I opened my mail. My first electric bill arrived. I was charged $16 for 3 kwh of electricity. I was outraged. It should have been less than a dollar, but the electric company has some kind of minimum. So much for energy conservation, eh? I was so furious that I drove back out to Kane'ohe just to turn on my big-ass fridge. I was still hammered, so I laid down on my new bed. Man, was it ever comfortable. I did not want to get up. I finally drove back to Hawai'i Kai. What a day!

I am worried about my drinking problem. Yes, it has turned into a major problem. I am drinking too much. I need to stop. I am going to try to tone it down this week. Even though I have bought a few bottles of wine, I am going to resist the temptation to pop the cork. The crap has been getting bad, but that's not a good excuse. Lord, I need help on this one.

Sunday April 18

Pseudo-professor Bill and I had an interesting discussion yesterday. He finally told me about why he ended up in Hawai'i. His wife wanted to move here. She got a job as a teacher. He quit all of his gigs on the mainland. About a year ago, she decided that they should get separate apartments to "explore their individuality." About two months later, he filed for divorce. He apparently gave up a lucrative business. She's also older than him. She's fifty, which also explains why she lost it. It was all very interesting. We also discussed the babe situation. He asked me if I was really wanted to meet any babes. He was coaxing me to see whether I was truly interested in finding a babe. I said that I didn't know. I really don't know anymore.

The House of Lolo is another story. I have not been discussing the idiots since I went berserk before last Summer. The old ho' no longer owns the Esplanade. She now drives the son's new Mustang. The son alternates between the Mustang and new Volkswagen Beetle. The young ho' usually drives the Beetle. Cars are still coming and going at all hours, but no one really hangs out anymore. So, essentially, it is a lot quieter. The House of Lolo is a good example of the "cocoon" gone awry.

I have decided that I am going to buy one of those Pier 1 rattan setteés instead of a loveseat. Regular furniture is way too expensive, and I am going to be the only one to sit on it. I've given up with the idea of making my place really nice. I just can't bring myself to buy nice furniture that will end up looking ragged within a couple of years. With Pier 1 furniture, a new look is accomplished by just buying new cushions.

I left at 11am this morning and arrived at 1pm. It takes about two hours by bus. I spent only an hour of time at my place before I left. The fridge didn't seem cold at all, but I left it running. On the way back to town, I realized that the fridge is going to stay on permanently unless I put something in it. The more packed the fridge is, the more efficient it is. I stopped off at Pier 1 to check out the stuff there. I actually enjoy going to Pier 1, if you can believe it. If could afford all of that crap, I would put it all in my place. I noticed that baby bought a lot of stuff from Pier I as well. The bus ride to Hawai'i Kai from Ala Moana took over two hours because of all the traffic in Waikiki. The Honolulu Triathlon was the reason. Lori was entered in the event. After I returned to the "cocoon," I ate dinner quickly. I asked moms for some dinnerware and flatware. Even though Ross has good deals, I am going to try to save dough whenever I can. So, now I have a two-place setting for my place. I drove to Kane'ohe and stopped off at Foodland. I bought a bunch of frozen stuff and some canned guava juice. I filled my fridge with those items, and I also put a couple more containers of water in there. I pulled the fridge a few inches more from the wall as well.

Monday April 19

An uneventful day. I chatted with Lori on the express bus this morning. She told me about her triathlon experience yesterday. We are going to meet for lunch on Wednesday. I spent most of the day working on a few Asylum projects. It's strange to try to carry on as if nothing is going on. In less than two months I could be unemployed. Nothing really matters to me anymore. I am going to continue on until I run out of options. I had to stay in town late again because I still have a night class. Only one student showed up.

It seems as though my life has become somewhat mundane now that I have resigned myself to the single life. I have not heard from Shirley in over a week. Neither have I tried to call her. I am sure that she's very busy. She's on a mission to hook up. Shirley has changed in the last year. She has cultivated a few quasi-feminist ideas. However, all of that has gone to the wayside now. I can't say that I blame her for moving on. There is no purpose in hanging around a senior citizen. I will just continue to work on cleaning and furnishing my place. After all, it's going to be my tomb!

Tuesday April 20

An uneventful day. I ran into Erin at the Asylum. She asked if I had seen Shirley recently. I said no. She said that Shirley had "a lot going on." Well, I would say so. Trying to hook up takes a lot of time. I am not sure what Shirley is going to do. She has another year of school. She's still in the "cocoon," and she still works at Daiei. She recently got a raise, so she's making $11 per hour. However, she works only 16 hours per week. She has never lived away from home except for the short period of time that she moved in with her then-stud Mark. She's 24 years old now, so she needs to think about her future. Right now, there's not much she brings to the table.

I ended up at the Indigo Happy Hour with Pseudo-professor Glenn. It's a great ritual. The food was good as usual. I had to drop back a couple of drinks as well. Now, I must remain on the wagon until next week. Moms has been treating me a lot differently lately. It's kind of strange. I had to put myself in significant debt to get some respect.

Wednesday April 21

I chatted with Lori on the express bus this morning. Then, I spent a few hours at the Asylum. I met Lori at the main bus stop on Hotel Street at noon. We walked to Murphy's. Lunch was good. Lori said that she was going to the outlet stores in Waikele. Since she knew that I wanted to go furniture shopping out there, she asked if I wanted to come along. Her husband had dropped the car off for her in town. So, we drove to Waikele. I checked out the Ashley funriture store. Lori went shopping for an evening gown. I met up with her at the Saks store. She then dropped me off in town. I went to the gym for a quick workout. Then, I took the express bus to Hawai'i Kai.

Thursday April 22

Another uneventful day. I received e-mail from Shirley. She apologized for not being in touch sooner. She has been very busy. Well, I'll leave it at that. She also said that she valued our friendship. I never believed that our friendship was in jeopardy. However, I do see that our small little group is finally diverging. I have to laugh.

I never made it to the Asylum, which is a good thing. I drove out to K-Mart this evening to purchase the area rug and few other necessities. I also called Lori and ended up driving out to her place to pick up the bedding. We sat and drank some wine. Her husband Kirk came home a few minutes later. He joined us, and we chatted for for a while. I still have to buy a microwave oven, a living room chair, and a coffee table. I am not very comfortable spening this money on what may be the shortest houe ownership in history. Oh well. What else do I have to do?

Friday April 23

I chatted with Lori on the express bus this morning. Then, I spent most of the day at the Asylum. I had many closed dorr meetings. There is a lot of treachery going on. I really don't want to be bothered by that crap. However, my future depends on how I handle these idiots around me. Ernie, the fradulent monk, has been pushing the envelope. He just took a three-week leave with pay. He is now slated for another surgery, which will jeopardize everyone's health plan. He has used up his medical limit already. He is also going off on another paid leave, but this is the clincher. Vivian shared this with me, so I am helping her investigate this bullshit. Ernie is apparently going for his Registered Medical Assistant certification at the Asylum's expense. He has been telling everyone that he is the State chairperson for the national certification program. He doesn't even have any certifications! As for me, I am being set up by someone for the fall. I'm not sure who the perpetrator is.

I drove to Kane'ohe after dinner. I brought a bunch of stuff including the area rug. The fridge was still running and it was barely cold. I had to break open a bottle of Merlot. I also checked out the bedding that Lori gave me. I do not like it, so I will be buying a whole new set. I will be calling an appliance repair service tomorrow. I will have my fridge recharged. I cleaned off the condenser coils, but that did nothing. After polishing off half of the bottle of Merlot, I returned to the "cocoon. I forgot to mention that I got a haircut yesterday. It's looks like a military cut.

Saturday April 24

I chatted withe Mark on the express bus yesterday. He had a whole mess of gifts. Apparently, today is his B-day. He turns fifty. He seemed to be taking it well. I was losing it for him. I have six months before my day comes. Sheesh! Before I left for Kane'ohe this morning, I called an appliance repair shop. I made an appointment for someone to recharge my fridge. The bus ride took almost two hours. I was there by 1pm. The repair guy came by at 1pm. I chatted with him while he worked on the fridge. The total came to $156 with tax. What a joke! I was outraged, but what can I do. I need the fridge to work properly. And, I cannot afford to by another fridge. I have a 20 cubic feet Whirlpool side-by-side unit. I cannot afford to replace it.

Caroll called. We chatted briefly. She now has three jobs. The new job is not as wonderful as she thought. She is disenchanted once again. I am beginning to wonder if she is going to make it. I am certain that she will be entirely disgruntled before the end of two weeks. She seems to believe that I am doing better than I say. That's not true. It's business as usual for me. I am not going to stress out over my employment situation. And, I am not going to lose my townhouse. Yes, it is very disconcerting to me that I am spending a lot of money on things I don't particular care to own. I have, however, made major concessions in my wants and needs. I am spending far less on furnishings, which obviously shows in the lack of quality. Who cares? I am not planning to do any entertaining. Shirley also called and left a message.

On the way back to Ala Moana, I stopped off at Pier 1 Imports. I really like that place. Sometimes I think that I am getting as bad as the babes when it comes to this crap. I have decided to purchase one of the rattan settées. I will also buy a Pier 1 coffee table. Pier 1 is eventually going decorate my whole place. Sheesh! The bus ride from Ala Moana to Hawai'i Kai took almost two hours. I almost lost my mind. After dinner, I took the bus to Kahala Mall. I decided to peruse Macy's, although I did that earlier at Ala Moana when I stopped off to transfer buses. I found a "Bed in a Bag" clearance item. So, I was able to buy some nice bedding for $33. What a deal!

In some respects, it's all kind of sickening. Rather than partying or socializing, I am spending all of my time either preparing my place for habitation or shopping for household items. It's going to be a really nice tomb. That's all I know.

Sunday April 25

I went for my yanning hike up Koko Head this morning. Then, I was off to Kane'ohe. The trip on the bus takes about two hours. Thus, it's really getting out of hand. By the time I get there, it's time to leave. I discovered that the bed is not queen-sized. I was really perturbed. I polished off the bottle of wine that was open, and I opened another bottle. I missed the 2:30pm bus, because it was early. So, I had wait for 30 minutes. I walked back to my place and had another glass of wine. I was trying to get back to town before 5pm because that's when Kahala Mall closes. The whole thing was a mess. I was really pissed off when I arrived in Hawai'i Kai. I gathered up the bedding I bought yesterday. I drove to Ala Moana so I could return the bedding at Macy's. Ala Moana was open until 6pm. I then drove to K-Mart. I bought a microwave oven and a pretty nice set of bedding all for $120 or so. Not bad. I drove out to Kane'ohe to drop the stuff off. I set up my bed. I am still missing pillows. I left the microwave oven for next time. I drank another glass of wine. I departed shortly afterward. I stopped at Kahala Mall to drop off the Goodwill donations. Then, I returned to the "cocoon."

I did not get much done this weekend. I spent most of the time on the bus, at least five to six hours per day. I really cannot afford to drive back and forth to Kane'ohe, so I am stuck with the bus. However, it is taking me forever to make the final move. I cannot transport anything when I ride the bus. So, I just go there to clean, sort through crap, and put things away. Yet, there's still crap lying everywhere. I may actually go through foreclosure before I even move in. Sheesh! What's even more stupid is how I have to buy anything and everything. I have absolutely nothing to my name. It makes no sense.

To be continued ... Go to D.31