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The Exodus Files
One For Me

Saturday November 6, 2004

Professor Gordo commented about all of young hotties at the Diploma Mill this school year. "We can't do anything about it," he said. He then mentioned Thailand and the Philippines. He was alluding to the babe markets there. He also mentioned that a buddy of his was assigned to Bogota Colombia. "He was with his wife," he added. "What a waste!" Professor Gordo is a single guy, although he has a babe. He loves to talk to me about babes because I am one of the few single faculty. Pseudo-professor Glenn revealed that he and his wife are actually divorced. I had suspected something was odd when I discovered that they live in separate studio apartments in the same building in Waikiki. Pseudo-professor Ralph had arrived at the faculty computer room at about 5:30pm last night. I invited him to go on the Art Walk. He declined because he had a lot of work to do. He is finishing his doctoral dissertation. He has also facilitated over 30 classes this year, which beat my all-time record of 27 classes in a year. He is driven to do so because he has a family. I am working my ass off, but I have no reason for this insanity. The money that I earn in a month is quickly absorbed by expenses, primarily the mortgage. Here is where I failed to meet my contrarian goals. With the mortgage, I am right there in the mainstream. To people outside of the Asylum circle, I refer to Chez Loser as my "Summer home." They always laugh.

The rain stopped by early morning. I was still fatigued from another grueling week. Kevin was able to get himself off of night duty at the Asylum. The rest of us are stuck with split shifts. He always manages to get his way with his weasel-like stories of feigned poverty. His time will come. I started off my morning with a brisk tanning hike up Koko Head. Then, I departed on the benign journey to Chez Loser. The bus was on time, and I made the connection to the No. 65 bus easily. I did my lanaiboy chores again. I'm still working on removing the black mold on the concrete. I broke down and poured out a few glasses of wine. What else do I have to do? I departed at 3pm. Surprisingly, I was able to return to town in time to make the connecting bus. Chip called and left a message. He wanted to know if I was going to Barnes & Noble this evening. I was too fatigued. The rain started up again as well. As usual, I will spend the evening with my beloved iBook. Incidentally, I neglected to mention that my homey Rod called last Sunday. He left a message saying that he ran into Mark, one of the guys from the Highland house in Convalescent City. He's married now and has a kid.

Sunday November 7

My expenses are at a peak as the bills keep coming in. My car insurance is due as is my monthly credit card expenditure. I am spending far too much, and I have nothing to show for it. As I continue to operate in a negative cash flow scenario, I have done little to remedy the situation. My useless possessions are weighing me down like anchors. Chez Loser remains the biggest anchor because I refuse to buy a simple $230 dishwasher. And, I refuse to do anything about the cheap furniture sitting in there. I could give it all away and make up for it with one month of rental income. I have not put my six-four up for sale even though I rarely drive it. My driver's license is set to expire in three weeks. Absolutely nothing is getting done, yet I continue to work my ass off just to support these useless possessions. I can no longer make simple or complex decisions about my own life. I have become totally dysfunctional. I am a true wage slave. I cannot even ascertain why I've become so demoralized and frozen in inaction. It's as if I don't want to deal with anything anymore.

The bombing of al-Fallujah in Iraq has begun. Once again, we are obliterating countless numbers of people in retaliation to the so-called "insurgents." This is laughable logic at best. We invaded a country and replaced its former puppet government (read: Saddam) with another puppet government all because the former converted to euros. We had been starving the Iraqis for years with bogus UN sanctions. Now, to "liberate" them, we bomb them to oblivion. I cannot imagine what all of these fat slobs would do if a foreign power invaded and occupied this country. Actually, I know the answer — appeasement. That's already happened when the Shrub regime installed itself as the government. However, I am aligned with the World Socialist Party now. I rely heavily on the World Socialist Web Site and the alternative media to provide me with accurate news. Mike Ruppert also offered good survival advice on the From the Wilderness site — "There's a great first rule in economic warfare. It's exactly the same reason why flight attendants instruct people to put on their oxygen masks before assisting others when an airliner's cabin depressurizes. To save the world you must save yourself first. The way you start to fight with money is to get out of debt. If that means simplifying your life then that's good anyway, you'll use less energy. But to be debt free is to stop paying your money to the corporations and banks that are creating this naked aggression anyway. These are the same corporations and banks that will come and pluck your economic corpse when the economy crashes next year as it surely must. If you are debt free then there will be less for them to pluck."

The rain finally stopped in the early morning. The sky was overcast, but it cleared up before I departed on the benign journey to Chez Loser. Yesterday, I was certain that I would not go, but what else was I going to do? The bus trip went well again. I thought of stopping off at Safeway. However, I thought better of it. I sprayed down the lanai again with chlorine bleach. The mold is gradually clearing up. Caroll called. We chatted briefly. She's now at a new car dealership. I had one glass of wine. Then, I left at 2pm, just as it started raining. I was fortunate that the bus arrived shortly afterward. It was sunny and hot in town. I was able to make my connecting bus because it was running late. The bus was packed, but I was glad to be returning to Hawai'i Kai earlier than I expected. I decided to do my tanning hike up Koko Head again. A little bit of exercise is better than none.

I spent most of the day in deep contemplation about my situation. I am also working on some kind of action plan. My first priority is to finally get my Hawai'i driver's license. I will need it until I sell my six-four. I will have more free time after my Diploma Mill classes end, which is when I will take care of the rest of my business. That will be after the Big Five-O. Life is going to change drastically three weeks from now. I suspect that my whole viewpoint will change radically as will my priorities and agenda. Most certainly, my useless possessions will become completely worthless to me. To be honest, I am quite fearful of what will happen once I officially become a geriatric at the end of the month. I am keeping everything in check right now because I am still in my forties. It's taking every ounce of energy to do so. The countdown begins. Only 22 days to go . . .

Monday November 8

The furor over the "election" continues. Al Martin wrote an interesting article speculating that the election could have been rigged at a much more subversive level than vote tampering. Both candidates, he asserted on the Al Martin Raw site, are Skull & Bones members. It's possible that the election was thrown by the challenger. Martin presents some compelling facts. The World Socialist Web Site posted some interesting articles yesterday, two of which discussed two economic events, the Shrub regime's need to raise the national debt ceiling and China's recent interest rate hike. There's also a revealing article by Naomi Groce concerning the "deconstruction" of the Democratic Party. Finally, there's a compelling profile of Mike Hoffman of the group, Iraqi Veterans Against War. Here's an excerpt: "I hate to keep using catchphrases, but one man's terrorist is another man's revolutionary," Hoffman said. "These people are just fighting with whatever means they have right now. They're watching their friends and family killed all around them, and they are striking back in whatever way they have. If you talk to any of the guys on the ground over there right now, whether they agree with the war or not, they would all say that if someone came to the US and did what we're doing over there, they would all be fighting back. We would all be doing exactly what the Iraqis are doing by any means we had."

There's also a lot of speculation that the Shrub "mandate" was made possible through the engorged memberships of both the evangelical and charismatic churches. There's a good possibility that the "election" was a one-issue contest, namely the gay union issue. This theory is highly plausible, but I will take it one level higher. There's a good percentage of the population who are finding solace in these nouveau "Christian" religions headed by pinhead demagogues like the late David Koresh. With all of the corruption and crime going on, and then the "September 11th" spectacle, these myriad dimwits felt that Armageddon was at their doorstep. They bought into these new religions because the latter were not as dogmatic and hypocritical as the traditional churches of Christendom (read: Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant). Little did these morons know that most of this breed of evangelical and charismatic demagogues are right-wing zealots who freely mix religion and politics. History always repeats itself. Now, there are thousands of Jimmy Swaggart wannabes out there. They live high on the hog with their parishioners' tithes. Fear is the word we keep hearing these days. And, it's not just about terrorism. It's about Armageddon. These people are dimwits, but they are not entirely fools. They have an innate sense that the end of the world is nearing. Now, they must make amends before the Creator. Their shepherds are false prophets who mislead the flocks into believing that this is "God's chosen nation." To cover all bases, they also must support Zionist Israel unconditionally. And, they most certainly must support their "messiah" (read: Shrub) in his crusade to conquer the infidels. This is the fate of our land as clearly half of this country believes that we are now embarking on the final war as prophesied in the Book of Revelation. They have all been promised a ticket to Heaven by the devil in disguise. Had they all read the prophesy much more closely (if they read it at all), then they could see how their own blasphemy will bring on Armageddon. Nowhere in the Good Book has the Almighty commissioned mortal humans to embark on crusades to destroy the "Gentiles" after the coming of Christ. The mass slaughter and genocide recorded in the so-called "Old Testament" was mandated by the Creator to insure that His then-chosen nation of Israel would survive to realize the prophesy concerning the delivery of the "Seed" (read: Messiah). It is also very important to note that Israel lost favor with the Almighty shortly after that. These facts are important to know because it is the foundation of the stupidity happening right now. You will not read this commentary anywhere else because this analysis is solely my own.

An uneventful day. I was quite fatigued this morning after I read that the offensive against al-Fallujah had been launched. I was able to view an interesting documentary about Iraq produced by the BBC on the Net. I was not able to finish viewing it, but it certainly made me understand that my observations are quite accurate. By the way, I've also been relying upon the Information Clearinghouse site for news as well. I was pretty much occupied by my thoughts concerning our rush to Armageddon. I also chatted with Lori on the express bus. She had a doctor's appointment today, mainly because of side effects from menopause. She also talked about Thanksgiving dinner. She said that she has a movie for me to watch called, "Showtime," when I am there. "You have to see it," she said, laughing in between words. "Deniro plays you." I'm not sure if I will be in the holiday spirit by then. Right now, I am thinking that I will just go over to Chez Loser and sit there by myself for Thanksgiving Day. The Ninja Turds will be coming over to moms' house, and I really don't want to see them. The rest of the day was meaningless, and I have no energy to transcribe the details. It's always more of the same. Robert and Pseudo-professor Ralph were in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill late in the afternoon. Robert is planning a B-day karaoke party for himself in two weeks. He invited us, but I am not planning to go. All I could think about is exiting the madness and recording my feeble thoughts in the journal.

Tuesday November 9

Pseudo-professor Ralph and I walked over to the Uptown Café. He ate breakfast. I drank a cup of coffee, which was most relaxing. We discussed the usual trivia. I brought up the discussion that I had walked in on yesterday at the faculty computer room when Robert was there. Apparently, Robert was trying to find something that would "outrage" him enough to make him apply for a decent job. Isn't the fact that he's almost broke and destitute reason enough? Or, how about his own revelation that young hotties are not interested in old guys unless the latter have big bank? The students at the Asylum are establishing old patterns even though we've been using Spooky Ol' Al's methods to control their minds. I am still standing by my prediction concerning the dump. Rumor has it that Ernie has submitted his resignation yet again. This time, he claims that he's going back to the monastery. Oh brother. The rest of the day was uneventful and meaningless. I have been fatigued and pretty much lifeless after continued reading concerning the situation in Iraq.

I read an interesting article on the Online Journal site by Karl Schwarz titled, "A Conservative Christian Republican demands truth from Bush." It is rather eye-opening, especially in view of Schwarz's theory about the missing weapons at al-Qaqaa. He wrote, "It raises a question as to whether various parts of the United States government might be creating enemies and WMD programs just to further the aims of certain oil, defense and related Bush/New World Order interests, and that same group is now having to go into cover-up mode to get rid of the evidence because somebody got it on video and photographs too." In addition, he provides some undeniable facts concerning the missing cache of explosives, an apparent organized Israeli campaign to "liquidate" former Iraqi scientists, and a few other bits and pieces of information which indicate that there is a major bipartisan cover-up at play. Scott Ritter, the guy who has told the truth all along, described the decaying situation in Iraq, which substantiated most of the reports from the international and alternative news media. Ritter stated in the article for al-Jazeera titled, "Squeezing Jello in Iraq," that there is only one operable Iraqi military unit, the 36th Battalion. This "new Iraqi army" and the puppet Allawi government could not survive without the military power being supplied by Shrub. His conclusion? "Falluja is probably the beginning of a very long and bloody phase of the Iraq war, one that pits an American military under orders from a rejuvenated Bush administration to achieve victory at any cost against an Iraqi resistance that is willing to allow Iraq to sink into a quagmire of death and destruction in order to bog down and eventually expel the American occupier." I have had a sick feeling lately, one that is similar in symptomatology to what I felt after the Supremos delivered the presidency to Shrub in the year 2000 and also when the whole moronic nation beat the war drums to invade Iraq.

Wednesday November 10

A meaningless day. I went through the motions of existence, but nothing was really of much concern to me. At every spare moment, I check the Net for the latest news from Iraq. I have been watching "Mosaic," which is a compilation of Middle Eastern news channels on the LinkTV site. At the Asylum, Erin told me that she was stressed out from the new scheduling. Moments later, she told me that she had just submitted her resignation. Although I am only an acquaintance, I can say that it will be sad to see another familiar face leave. The rest of the day was even more meaningless. I have been trying to distance myself from my surroundings. People are driving me berserk. What really gets to me is that our troops are killing people halfway around the globe in our name and no one gives a shit. As a matter of fact, most people don't care, if they are even aware of it at all.

Shirley called and left a message that she was going to the Mercury bar after class with Nicolette. I called her back while I was walking to the bus stop after my night class at the Asylum. I declined the invitation. The babes don't need a fucking old fart or a faculty member around. I would just get in the way of their fun. I have not heard from Shirley in a week, which is probably for the better. I am the last of her "older" friends. She and Erin are no longer chummy for obvious reasons. That whole incident also affected her friendship with Ramona as well. I remember that Shirley and I used to chat on the phone almost every night a little over a year ago. Now, we barely keep in touch. I, myself, have cut off contact with almost everyone. I don't call or send e-mail to any friends. I rarely return phone calls as well. I am also weaning myself of my cell phone because I want to terminate the service early next year. I can no longer afford it. I have also pretty much decided to decline Lori's Thanksgiving dinner invitation. I'll probably spend the day alone at Chez Loser. I am thinking about having a can of Bush's baked beans for dinner along with a big-ass bottle of the "Hammer." A few days after that will be the Big Five-O. I have decided that there will be no celebration. Shirley wanted us to go out for a few drinks, but I will not be returning any phone calls at all during that time. These are the last few days of my stolen youth. In 19 days, I will be a senior citizen. It is Year One of the New Beginning, and I must jettison the past. I cannot look back anymore.

Thursday November 11

I have been looking forward to this holiday. I've been so fatigued from my grueling work schedule. The night classes at the Asylum are taking a toll. Almost all of us are working the split shift except for Kevin. I walked to the gym in Koko Marina and did my usual workout this morning. I decided to make the benign journey to Chez Loser. Yesterday, I told myself that I was not going. However, I changed my mind because I did not want to sit around and vegetate in my favorite chair. The bus trip to Kane'ohe went well. I got off near Safeway. Naturally, I bought a big-ass bottle of wine. I sprayed the concrete in my lanai again. Most of the mold is gone. I will scrub the concrete by hand with some detergent next time. I spent the rest of time imbibing my favorite beverage. I was pretty hammered before I left at 2pm. When I arrived in town, I thought that I had missed the connecting bus. I caught the next bus to Kahala Mall. Along the way, I saw another No. 1 bus pass us. When we finally hopscotched the other bus, I was able to see its route destination. Apparently, the connecting bus had been late. I quickly got off at the next bus stop and transferred to the other bus. I was able to return to Hawai'i Kai at 3:30pm. Otherwise, I would have spent an hour at Kahala Mall. I was able to go on my tanning hike up Koko Head. I felt much better. Overall, I had a nice day.

I received a letter from the University of Phoenix (UP). I have been asked to send in my transcripts. Pseudo-professor Ralph had hand-delivered my résumé. All of UP's classes are in the evenings. However, Pseudo-professor Ralph indicated that the distance learning classes are the way to go. I will see where this takes me. I cannot imagine that I will be able to last at the Asylum. I am certain that "Samhain" will not sleep well at night until he realizes his goal to reduce us all to part-time status. The turnover remains high. Erin will be first faculty casualty. Barbie, the current registrar, will also be resigning. The other staff members are already trying to pass some of their work on to the faculty. With Student Services dissolved, there is no one to organize the graduation and orientation events. Some of the faculty are keenly aware that we will eventually be required to coordinate the events without pay. I am not volunteering to do anything. The Asylum is not a charity. This is, of course, part of the devious plan concocted by that cheap fuck. He's going to penny-pinch himself out of business. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Friday November 12

As the days count down to the Big Five-O, I am finding myself to less tolerant of any kind of bullshit. I have been reading about the situation in Iraq as well as watching "Mosaic" on LinkTV. It appears that the situation there is escalating into a real war. The passing of Yassir Arafat is certainly untimely, given the grave instability that exists in the Middle East. What is sad is that the Zionists did not allow him to be buried in Jerusalem. I also read a sickening article titled, "Did God Intervene?" by Deborah Caldwell on the Beliefnet site. The entire article detailed how the misled sheep in this country have come to believe that Shrub was enlisted by the Almighty to save the world. Here is an excerpt:

"This was Providence," evangelical leader and presidential advisor Charles Colson told Beliefnet. "Anybody looking at the 2000 election would have to say it was ... a miraculous deliverance, and I think people felt it again this year." By allowing Bush to stay in office, Colson said, God is "giving us a chance to repent and to restore some moral sanity to American life."

There's a lot more, but it's really too nauseating to even quote. This is the prevailing attitude amongst the rich, fat slobs who think they will buy their way into Heaven. Yet, halfway around the world, the warriors of the "chosen nation" are engaged in a war that makes absolutely no sense. The war in Iraq is now a holy war. We have military leaders who are saying that Satan lives in al-Fallujah. The majority of people in the US believe that the invasion was justified. All of them are religious dimwits who believe that Shrub was chosen as a matter of "Providence." And, obviously, most of the "insurgents" and "terrorists" are backed by radical religious clerics.

In my day-to-day dealings with people, I should encounter a large percentage of these religious types, at least one out of every two people. All I see are disgusting, foul-mouthed, rude, fat slobs. Where are these so-called "Christians"? With all of this talk of "repentance" and "moral sanity," there should be clear signs of a society living by the teachings of the Good Book. Actually, it makes me sick thinking of these "Sunday-go-to-meeting" hypocrites. They've already been "saved," so they don't need to worry. Their tithes bought them a place in Heaven. They worship the same god as "Samhain." They really belong to the Satanic Order of the Demons of Money (SODOM).

I did not enjoy being in town after a nice day off. Wage slavery is becoming quite detestable. With each passing day, I am planning my exit from society. Kevin asked me about the situation with Erin. He found out from his students that she was divorced and dating a former Asylum student. I only confirmed what he had discovered, but I did not mention anything about Shirley's involvement. I managed to get an application for a new driver's license. I will have to go to the Satellite City Hall in Kane'ohe since the one in town does not service out-of-state transfers. I will get another driver's license. However, I am worried that I will change my mind about selling my six-four. I have no time to become sentimental about my useless possessions. I must make swift decisions before the world as I know it comes to an end.

Saturday November 13

The cost of living in Hawai'i keeps increasing. Hawai'ian Electric is requesting a 7.7 percent rate hike. It is already the most expensive supplier of electricity in the nation by a wide margin. Matson and other shipping firms are increasing shipping prices by 3.5 percent in addition to the three fuel surcharges added this year. The cost of goods and services is going to really increase now. It won't get any better. I am assuming that housing prices will not decline as a result. The only way to survive here it to cut back on spending and to divest all useless possessions.

I hiked up Koko Head this morning. I am trying to get in some exercise when I can. After that, I embarked on the benign journey to Chez Loser. I usually stand under a tree near the bus stop because the sun is so hot. A thick babe joined me. She said that she had a sore throat, so she couldn't talk that much. For the next ten minutes, she talked my ear off. She's Italian, as I came to discover. She's against the war in Iraq, but Saddam had to go. She knows that the people in Iraq don't want us there. We can't force democracy upon them because they don't want it. Blah, blah, blah. She covered a lot of material in ten minutes. I was happy when the bus finally arrived. Of course, it was late. We chugged along at 5mph and intentionally stopped at every traffic light. I was losing my mind. Naturally, I did not arrive in town in time to transfer to the No. 65 bus. We were so late that I thought I also missed the No. 55 bus. Within a minute, the bus arrived. I am not sure why I get so upset when the bus is late. I have nothing else to do. I have nowhere to go and no one to see.

I spent about two hours scrubbing the concrete in the lanai. I was partaking of the leftover wine in the fridge while I worked. I was hammered in no time. I also carried about a week's worth of newspapers from moms' house. I dropped the latter off at the recycling bin that is along the walk from the bus stop to Chez Loser. I am trying to determine alternative methods sans automobile to deal with my common errands. I departed at 3pm. I was certain that I missed the transfer to the next bus to Hawai'i Kai. I was fortunate that it was running late. It started pouring after I got on the bus. It rained all the way back. Pseudo-professor Ralph called and left a message. He may have found a buyer for my beloved six-four. I called him back. It turns out that a babe student of his had just totaled her car. So, I gave him the Kelly Blue Book price as an approximation. I hope to get an offer that will allow me to purchase a new PowerBook computer. I was feeling a little nauseous after another day of guzzling cheap booze. So, I will not do anything this evening. I will spend time with my iBook. That's about all a fucking old fart can do.

Sunday November 14

Last night, I thought about the implications of living without a car. I hardly drive now, yet I was having second thoughts. Once my six-four is gone, I will be a real economic peon. Only the poor and destitute have no cars. I will ride the bus with them, along with the psychos and senior citizens. Most people who ride the bus are just a step above animals. They spit on the floor. I've been privy to seeing several fools put a finger over one nostril and squirt the mucous out of the other nostril all over the floor and seats. I'm surprised that no one has taken a piss on the floor yet. Many of the passengers have not taken a bath in days. And, extremely bad breath is the default. However, driving is really not an option. I am prone to road rage. I cannot tolerate the stupid forms of driving that I've encountered. In addition, the number of cars is increasing. Accidents are also increasing. I am not a big fan of insurance companies either. Overall, the convenience of owing a car cannot outweigh the disadvantages.

I should give tribute to Pseudo-professor Ralph. He's been trying to help me out. I am sure that he knows all too well the struggle to remain financially solvent. And, it's easy to become discouraged and just give up. I am at that point now. When I cross over into the senior citizen demographic at the end of the month, I will have no other purpose in life except to exist. I will continue to remain active in my own little way. However, life as I know it will pretty much be over. In any case, I am deeply grateful to Pseudo-professor Ralph for his assistance.

The weather turned bad last night. Heavy rains continued until this morning. I decided at the last minute to depart for Chez Loser. I did not want to be around in case the Ninja Turds showed up. I was fortunate that the weather cleared up. The bus trip to Kane'ohe went well. I brought more newspapers to recycle. I immediately began partaking of the fire water when I arrived at Chez Loser. I was hammered in no time. There wasn't much for me to do, so I started packing things to give to Goodwill. I decided to start bringing some of my things back to moms' house, at least the stuff that fits in my backpack. I am evacuating Chez Loser because I am certain that I will either rent the place or sell it. I will make the final decision right after the Big Five-O. I am deferring the decision until then because I cannot predict my frame of mind. I suspect that radical changes will occur.

I departed at 2pm. I was the only passenger on the No. 65 bus as it left Kane'ohe. As the bus chugged along the Kamehameha Highway, I observed all of the traffic. I watched as people pulled up to the small shops with their cars. People think nothing of driving a 3,000-pound vehicle to buy a small Subway sandwich. It's just so routine to hop in the car and drive anywhere. Here we are, on the doorstep of Peak Oil, and no one gives a shit. We are invading countries to secure what's left of world petroleum reserves. People have voted to support the occupation of Iraq and the future invasion of other countries by their own actions. Indiscriminate squandering of resources is a strong vote. Nothing is going to stop the inevitable, no matter what. There's so much collective stupidity, ignorance, and apathy to insure the destruction of society. When I really think about it, there's no need to save money. What is it going to be good for after Peak Oil? Lori keeps telling me about her long-term healthcare insurance. She's trying to sell me on the idea, partly because her husband sells insurance. Fear is what sells, I suppose. Yet, the greatest fear would be the inability to predict whether the insurance company will be around in ten years. And, if Peak Oil hits us, then where is the energy to run these convalescent facilities going to come from? "Long term care" translates to "intensive care." We are talking about scores of life support equipment. When the going gets rough, do you think that the masses will be privy to this kind of care?

When I arrived in town, I decided to take my time. I've been in too much of a rush lately. I bought a bean burrito at Taco Bell. To me, that's a great meal even though it's made of pure lard. I caught the No. 1 bus heading to Aina Haina. My plan was to get off in Kaimuki, which I did. Sitting outside was not too much fun today because it was drizzling. The bus to Hawai'i Kai was late, which made the experience even more horrendous. I watched all of the people driving by. They are living the good life for now, I chuckled, but they are in for a surprise when we will all be pitted against each other for survival. Even as a senior citizen, I will be prepared to bumrush these fools.

Monday November 15

The Asylum is sinking quickly into the Abyss. Vivian, the human resources person, told me that "Samhain" has put her on probation. He actually wanted to fire her last Wednesday, but opted for probation. She is now required to keep a written log of her work activity and submit it at 30-minute intervals for review. It is quite obvious that Vivian is being intimidated to resign. That way, she cannot make an unemployment claim. In addition, I suspect that there's some kind of "ethnic cleansing" going on. Vivian looks to be of African-American descent. Almost all of the Asylum staff have been replaced by distinctly Caucasian people. It is my guess that "Samhain" is a racist of the worst kind. The only non-white people that he expects to see should be in the classroom. These are the economically disenfranchised who have been bamboozled into believing that an Asylum degree will open doors to opportunity. The real truth is that he's fleecing these poor fools. Those students will be left holding the bag as their enormous student loans come due. One would think that, as an immigrant Iranian, he would have more compassion. However, it is commonly known that these kinds of people detest their own origins and deeply desire to be blonde, blue-eyed Caucasians. Disdain for one's own ethnicity is the root of psychopathology. It results in aberrant and megalomanical behavior. Adolph Hitler is an example.

I also learned how Kevin was able to weasel his way out of the night shift. Kim, the Director of Education, had come into Vivian's office when I was there. She is hiring a new computer instructor for the night shift. That's when she told me the story. A student allegedly claimed that Kevin was having an affair with a night student. The student allegedly called Kevin's wife. So, to keep his marriage intact, Kevin claims that he cannot work at night. Even Vivian could not believe how stupid Kevin's story sounded. Could he not have an affair with a day student as well? That would be a lot easier since Kevin's wife works all day. Kevin is usually off by 1pm. Ironically, Kevin is upset by what is happening at the Asylum. "They will get theirs," he keeps telling me. He, too, will reap what he sows.

Pseudo-professor Ralph told me that the student who was interested in buying my six-four has decided to buy a bike first. If I still have my six-four in two months, she will be interested. That's bullshit. I have decided to donate my six-four to charity, if I can write off something close to the Kelly Blue Book value. This is the last year that car donations will be worthwhile. Next year, car donations will have a write-off value equivalent to what the car sells at auction. The auction receipt must be retained as proof. I will need to donate my six-four before my car insurance expires on December 4th. At this point in time, I'm not sure if I will bother with a driver's license. These are part of the radical changes I've discussed. The Big Five-O is the impetus, but there's more. I am beginning to sense a strong bout of despair coming on as a result of the latest incursion in Iraq. I was foolish to have become distracted last year when the initial invasion took place. I'll be honest. I put aside all of my concern and became one of the mindless sheep. I was so disgusted by the cacophony of stupidity which eventually turned into a lock-step chorus of ignorant warmongers. At one point, I was the only one arguing against the invasion of Iraq. One need only read the article titled, "Who is the Real Enemy?" by John Kaminski (replicated at Information Clearinghouse). He states, "Yet it apparently has occurred to no one with any degree of power in this warped society of ours that this means all the lives we have squandered in our War of Lies in Iraq are an absolutely evil abomination, completely unnecessary, except to maintain the fiction that the lies about weapons of mass destruction and al-Qaeda somehow don't really matter, and that we can kill anybody we want at any time." I am not certain how long I can be a part of this charade. No one talks about the atrocities. In fact, everyone simply acts as though nothing is happening. Yet, even I can feel the force of the souls being extinguished. It is my feeling that the real Armageddon is coming very soon.

I saw Lori on the express bus this morning. She is expecting me to attend Thanksgiving dinner. I said nothing, so she assumes that I will be there. The way I am feeling right now, I doubt that I'd be much company. I don't want to engage in small talk. I doubt that anyone will want to discuss the Iraq situation, especially not from my viewpoint. When I returned to Hawai'i Kai, I had an interesting discussion with moms. We discussed the rising costs in Hawai'i, amongst other topics. Moms said that her funds are running low. I suggested that moms sell the house and buy a small condo. Moms is adamant about staying in the house until the money runs out. This is extremely foolish thinking at best. I am not sure about what will happen, but I suspect that things will get messy. Moms suggested that I sell or rent out Chez Loser. I am now thinking that selling the place is not an option. I have to stay fully vested in something that should be a decent investment and may eventually be where moms and I have to live. My family has no track record of sound decisions. Hence, I must sure that all bases are covered.

Tuesday November 16

I joined Pseudo-professor Ralph at the Uptown Café this morning because it's a relaxing place to hang out. When I arrived at the Asylum, I was told by Vivian that Ernie has officially submitted his resignation. His last day is December 31st. I suspect that he has given "Samhain" a month to beg him to stay as well as give him a pay raise. My guess is that Ernie will be jettisoned. I will give credit to Ernie. He has done a lot for the medical office program. This is also the sole program that "Samhain" believes will save the Asylum. However, greed has overcome the fool. I am still standing by my prediction that a clear downward trend in enrollment will be evident by V-Day next year. My classes at the Asylum and the Diploma Mill were lively today. I told my class at the Asylum that I was planning to donate my six-four. A couple of the babe students asked what I would do if I had a date. I laughed. Where have I heard this before? The class of twenty-two is all babes except for two guys. They all started asking me personal questions. Was I married? Where do I live? And, so forth. I avoided answering the questions. At the Diploma Mill, Professor Barbara came into my class right as it started. She asked if I had seen a black notebook. I was highly suspicious of her. She's the one who has been asking my students if I let my class out early. There is some kind of surveillance going on, but I have no idea why. My students were suspicious as well. My night class at the Asylum went well, too. When I arrived back in Hawai'i Kai, I noticed that there was more crap stacked in moms' living room. The Ninja Turd garage sale will happen this weekend. Wheee! I will have to move my six-four, so I will probably drive over to Chez Loser early Saturday morning and leave it there overnight.

Wednesday November 17

I neglected to mention that Bill came by to visit at the Asylum. He's been back for three weeks. Remember that he had to leave for the UK because of his ailing mother. He had also been fired from the Asylum just a week prior. I asked him how his mother was. He said that she had passed on just about four hours after he arrived at the hospital. "She literally died in my arms," he said. We chatted for a while. He's been surviving on his unemployment claim. What happened to Bill has certainly provoked some thought on my part. I keep wondering what I am going to do once moms is gone. Moms is really the only family I have.

I saw Lori on the express bus this morning. We chatted about the usual nonsense. She wants to take me to lunch at Palamino's on my B-day. I accepted, even though I do not want to celebrate the dreaded day. Last week, I told her that radical changes are going to happen after the Big Five-O. "So, what? All your hair is going to turn gray the next day?" she asked, laughing. Lori still wants to go kayaking, but the earliest that can happen will be during the Christmas break.

The Asylum was chaotic as usual. I discovered that there's an ad in the classifieds for a subordinate for Kim, the Director of Education. The subordinate will supervise the faculty, amongst other duties. I lobbied several faculty members to try for the position including Erin. It is imperative that one of our own is placed in that position. I also chatted with Vivian. I offered my thesis about "Samhain" being a racist. She concurred. The rest of the day was meaningless. My only observation is that no one cares about the disgraceful war in Iraq. No one discusses it. No one even thinks about it. Out of sight, out of mind. Yet, if any of these assholes would ponder the ramifications for even a couple of minutes, perhaps they would be more grateful of their own situation. Instead, I am privy to deal with the same arrogant, ungrateful shitheads. I am becoming more morose with each passing day. I am not even certain about what I want anymore. Now, I don't even care if I sell my six-four. I'll just maintain the status quo, I tell myself. Then, I realize that I don't want all of this crap. I will probably go insane just like Anonder.

Thursday November 18

Yesterday, Robert happened to be in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. He wanted to know if I was going to his B-day party. I won't be there because I don't want to pay $10 to go to his party and buy food and booze to bring as well. That's the strangest party I have ever heard of. He also said that he's come to grips with the babe situation. He believes that the young hotties are repulsed by old guys. "Sublimation," he keeps telling me. His bass guitar is his salvation.

I am extremely fatigued. The whole day was a blur. At the Asylum, I came to discover that Sierra, one of the office help, will taking over the Registrar's position from Barbie. Sierra is allegedly one of Kim's relatives. It's almost laughable, since Sierra is totally incompetent. However, this is not my problem. "Samhain" wants to cut costs. And, he doesn't seem to care that he has a completely moronic staff. Heck, I don't care either. It just means that my prediction will come true.

The crap for the Ninja Turd's garage sale is stacked everywhere in moms' living room. The Turds must be bringing stuff daily. I can't even imagine where all of this junk has been stored in their one-bedroom apartment. There's thousands of dollars worth of crap. Well, it's all really worthless now. I can see why the Turd's have not bought their own place. Seeing all of that crap is incentive enough for me to divest myself of all my useless possessions.

Friday November 19

A meaningless day. I read with interest that Shrub and his cohorts have increased the government debt ceiling. The dollar, in the meantime, has fallen much lower than the euro. As the war in Iraq spirals out of control, the warmongers are beating the drums to do something about Iran. There are allegations from an unreliable source that Iran is accelerating its nuclear arms program. The propaganda will then increase, supplemented by more lies, until fear reaches psychotic levels. Does this sound familiar? That's how we ended up in Iraq. It also seems that Israel has purchased a fleet of new F-16 fighters, all of which was funded with our taxes. We give Israel financial aid, and it turns around and buys weapons from us. This unholy alliance with the Zionists has raised few eyebrows. It is interesting that the Book of Revelation foretold a strange alliance in the metaphor of the seven-headed beast and the harlot. I believe that the time of the end is unfolding before our very eyes. The religious and secular crusade that Shrub has embarked on will invoke Armageddon. We are slaughtering the masses of Islamic "infidels," and we are plundering their only resource, namely oil.

When I returned to Hawai'i Kai, I had to move my six-four out of moms' carport. The Ninja Turds came by shortly afterward, which pretty much ruined my evening. Mrs. Turd is both irritating and dumber than a knob. The big Ninja Turd garage sale is tomorrow. Instead of putting an ad in the classifieds, the dolt is putting signs up around the neighborhood. It's all rather tiring. Moms has been fretting over what she thought was a leak from the washing machine. I told moms that the washing machine could not be leaking from the front because the valves are near the back panel. There was a distinct chlorine smell. I looked around and discovered that one of the bleach containers had a crack in it. Moms was ready to call the appliance repair. Good thing I looked first.

Saturday November 19

Moms started setting up for the Ninja Turd garage sale at about 6:30am. The Turds came by about 30 minutes later. I decided to leave on the 7:45am bus. I did not really get a chance to relax. I was really groggy. The bus was 20 minutes late. We chugged along at 5mph. The driver made sure that we conveniently stopped at every traffic light. In Kaimuki, another No. 1 bus passed us. The latter was the bus that supposedly comes 20 minutes after the bus I was on. We then slowed down even more. I missed the No. 65 bus, but I was fortunate to arrive in town seconds before the No. 55 arrived. I walked to Chez Loser, dropping off a few newspapers at the recycling bin. I gathered up the newspapers piled up near the front door. I have been receiving the nespaper for free. I walked down to Windward Mall, dropping my newspapers off at the recycling bin. I found the Satellite City Hall. I filled out the paperwork for a new driver's license and waited in line. When it was my turn, I was told that out-of-state transfers were not processed at the Kane'ohe location. The sign on the door at the downtown branch listed the Kane'ohe branch. I can only process my application at the Kalihi and Pearl City branches, and it can only be done on weekdays during work hours. To say that I was fucking pissed off would be an understatement. Every branch has all the equipment to process driver's license applications. It's fairly obvious what is going on. It's discrimination against mainlanders. However, I am not a mainlander. The Kalihi and Pearl City branches are in the pockets of highly local populations, and both locations are quite inconvenient. The bus system and the driver's licenses are handled by the City & County of Honolulu. It's easy to see what kind of corrupt system is in place.

Upon hearing all of this bullshit, I walked out in disgust. Locals can renew their licenses on Saturday at any branch. I walked to Safeway and bought a big-ass bottle of Vendage Cabernet Sauvignon along with a sandwich and a couple of power bars from the bakery. I walked back to Chez Loser. Naturally, I started my drinking day early. I was hammered in no time. I was able to get my spare keys from the resident manager. I also finally submitted my check-in form. I decided to leave for town at 1pm. The Ninja Turd garage sale was to end at 2pm. Naturally, I missed my connecting bus. So, I caught the next bus to Kahala Mall. I was walked around Barnes & Noble to kill time. I saw my favorite Barnes & Noble babe there. What a hottie! Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll never have a babe like that. I thought about this fiasco with my driver's license. I had pretty much decided that I will not get another one. I only have free time the day after Thanksgiving Day, and I was told that the offices will be packed. If I surrender my driver's license and sell my six-four, then I will be at the fringe of society. Although I could never have a babe like my favorite Barnes & Noble babe, I will secure a permanent bachelor status by moving to the fringe of society. That's what all the babes in my class at the Asylum were telling me, as well as Shirley and Lori. Do I really want to exit society? That's the big question.

When I finally returned to Hawai'i Kai, all was quiet. Quite a few of the crap was sold. Moms made about $80 or so. I wondered where the Turds have been storing all of that crap. Moms couldn't figure it out either. All of that junk was triple the volume of the stuff that I own in total. All of the cupboards, closets, and storage areas in Chez Loser are empty. I own only the bare minimum of furniture. The stuff that I have left in moms' house can fit in a shopping cart. Well, I will probably make one last trip to Chez Loser in my six-four next weekend to bring the remainder of my personal belongings back. If I continue with my plan to exit society, then I must sell Chez Loser next year. The furniture will be sold or donated to the Salvation Army during the Christmas break. That's also when I plan to purchase and install a new dishwasher. I'll be a fucking senior citizen by then, so I must be ready to check out.

To be continued ... Go to E.13

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