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Who could have said it better than Lippy Espinda, eh? Well, the Keeper makes the journey home to Hawai'i ... this time it's for keeps. Get it? Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! 

The Life and Times of The Keeper of Lost Lives

It's a time of reckoning for the ol' lavahead. After all, it's been a long two years since LoserNet popped up on the Net. I have been thinking about my mortality lately, which inadvertently spurred a few thoughts about the concept of property. Humans have the curious desire to acquire property and to attach value and inheritance to it. Why? There really is no need to subdivide the planet and apportion the pieces to those who can afford to pay. We have even attached value to intellectual property, trademarks, and (now, of all things) domain names for the Net. Property is tangible and durable. Life, on the other hand, is transient and fragile. Perhaps we acquire property to ease our fears about our mortality. We need to touch and hold things which we can control. The purchase of inanimate objects or so-called real property allows us to exercise what we perceive to be the ultimate control. Oddly, the quantity and net worth of our accumulated property seems to be inversely proportional to our sense of mortal fear. Alas, perhaps I have been playing Windows Solitaire far too much for my own good.

Sunday June 1, 1997

Fortunately, I was able to procure some doughnuts to enjoy with my cup of Monsoon Malabar coffee this morning. Baby did some packing while I engaged in another marathon Windows Solitaire game. Sheesh! I realized last week that I have not gotten a bill for my credit card purchases. In fact, I have yet to pay for my airline tickets. I called the credit card company only to learn that the bill was sent to Convalescent City. Naturally, it is now overdue and there was a $20 late charge added. Funny, I received my new credit card in April and also the offer for a no interest loan (up to my cash advance limit). I took advantage of that offer prior to leaving Hawai'i in March. Now, why did I receive all of that stuff and not my bill? I don't think I should be paying the late penalty.

We went to Border's late in the afternoon. I wanted to do more research on the Windows 95 Registry, but there was only one book on the subject. Everyone must be fiddling around with their Registry files. I did happen to find information on a free Web virus scanner called VirusSafe Web. Since it is available at my favorite price, I will have to download it. We did a short cardio workout in the clubhouse and watched Star Trek: DSN. We went shopping at Safeway late this evening. Baby bought two pints of Safeway Select ice cream for a little snack. We ate the ice cream with little guilt. After all, it is the end of an era. I put up the last of the redirect pages for LoserNet. There was no formal ceremony. It was just me and my beloved computer.

Baby went to her office this morning. She will be tying up any remaining loose ends. I played another marathon Windows Solitaire game. Then, I walked to 7-11 to buy a frozen burrito for lunch. When I got there, I found that the burritos were sold out. I bought a blueberry muffin instead. I came back and resumed my Windows Solitaire game. Baby returned after four o'clock. She managed to also get the revisions from her boss for the Web site that (the now defunct) Highest Source Consulting was working on. I have been waiting for about three weeks for these revisions. I was ready to write off the project. Well, maybe I can make enough dough to pay for Windows 95. Sheesh!

Well, it will be another week of Hawai'i Five-O and the treadmill! At least we will get in a little bit of a workout, although at my brisk pace of 1.2 miles per hours ... well, it may take a week to burn off the calories from the ice cream. I forgot to mention that moms called last night. We didn't talk for very long since I will be home in less than a week. My bro is still waiting for that phone call to go back to work. At least I will have company in misery. Maybe my bro will even help me work on my poor six-four. Well, maybe not.

All I want to do is play Windows Solitaire. Is it a sickness? I mailed my Windows 95 and Works software to Hawai'i. It cost $8, which made me wonder why I did that. Baby and I ate lunch at Burger King. We also went to Anzen to buy some Saimin and Manapua. I worked on the Highest Source project and completed it. Hopefully, I will be able to transfer the files up to their new home soon. I also completed and mailed my loan application as per "Plan B." Now, I must wait about two months to find out if it is accepted. Until then, I will have to make payments to my present loan servicer.

Baby has been suffering from bronchitis attacks again. I have had hayfever attacks, which may or may not be related. Baby has had three of those attacks in the last year. I'm not going to dismiss allergies, but I have noticed a pattern. Whenever baby is extremely stressed out, she seems to exhibit those very symptoms. I believe that it is similar to a panic attack. She has been using an amphetamine-based bronchial dilator. An "upper" can have a sedative effect on the body. Baby may be better off with an over-the-counter tranquilizer. All I know is that there will be many more stressful times ahead in this endless journey.

Baby drove to work in Sandy and I went along. We showed baby's boss the final version of his Web site, and he gave the approval for it to be uploaded. I received a modest amount of dough for the work. At least it paid for my Windows 95 and Works. To celebrate, baby and I ate at the Burger King in Gresham. Whoppers, our way, of course! Baby also got a confirmation for her airline ticket to Hawai'i, so she went ahead and paid for it. She will be leaving next Saturday.

I uploaded the Web files late this evening. I had a lot of trouble because I didn't realize that Internet Information Server looks for the file named "default.htm" to load. When I finally realized that, I renamed the main file. I checked the result and was surprised to see the same generic page the ISP puts up. Little did I realize that I had set up my Netscape disk caching. I was seeing the cached file. Sometimes I cannot believe what a fool I really am. I then sent up the template for the CGI forms handler, but nothing worked. The CGI script did not know where to find the template. I decided to call it quits. I will contact the ISP tomorrow for advice.

The Bull wrote that he is now officially retired once again. He just doesn't get paid what he is really worth, and there is no telling how many millions of dollars that his sound financial decisions made for the firm he was consulting with. There is a chance that The Bull, the Bishop and the Cardinal will be visiting Hawai'i in July. The Bull is content to be single again. He mentioned that quite a few babes were hitting on him during his consulting stint. However, many of the babes were married and that's where the Bull draws the line. He had lunch with his former babe a few times. He is willing to take her back if she gets her act together. Sometimes I am just amazed at how The Bull does it, but I should know better. This man is a legend!

Baby met a friend for coffee and later met another friend for a lunch appointment. She dropped me off at Border's first. I spent a few hours reading Windows 95 books. When baby returned, we drank coffee at the Border's café. I browsed through every single computer magazine. Well, hey! I'm a computer nerd! I did manage to call the ISP for the Web site I am working on. I was told to upload the template to the Unix side. Easy enough. Confident that the process would take only a couple of minutes, I decided to play Windows Solitaire for the rest of the day. Well, I tried to upload the template to the Unix side as I was instructed but to no avail. The whole process so far has added on an additional three hours of time, none of which I am getting any dough. Sheesh!

Moms wrote and mentioned that there was a call from an employment agency for my bro. He never called back. He thought that the agency was trying to drum up some business since he is receiving unemployment compensation. When moms told me the name of the agency, I realized that it was one of the two which I wrote to earlier this month. I suspected that moms answered the call and mistook my bro's name for mine. She does that all the time. I just hope that this does not cause a public relations fiasco for the ol' lavahead.

I called the ISP again and found out that I can only FTP to the Unix side if I am on the ISP's dial-up. The system adminstrator was kind enough to let me e-mail the template so he would upload it. I'm glad that the project is done! Baby and I went to the GTE PhoneMart. Baby put in an order to terminate her phone service. I set up a limited (5 hours per month) Internet account today which will be adequate for my needs. I only want e-mail and FTP (to transfer files to LoserNet). For the $8.95 per month, I also get a small Web space. Baby had an appointment downtown, so she dropped me off at Powell's. I spent two hours reading Windows 95 books. Baby came by to get me. We stopped off in NW Portland to find Rich's Cigar Shop. No, I wasn't smokin' and chokin'! We were looking for a magazine called P.O.V. because there was an article about LoserNet in it. Many thanks to Kate (k8fitz@aol.com) for bringing that to our attention!

Moms forwarded a letter from the credit card company that has been giving me grief. My credit limit has been reduced by $3,000 because of my delinquent account. I called the credit card hotline and was able to fix some of the damage. After all, the bill has been the only correspondence not to show up. After I make a payment, I still need to call the fools to reinstate my original credit limit and to insure that the incident doesn't appear on my credit report.

We ate Chinese take-out from the Safeway deli and watched yet another episode of Hawaii Five-O in the clubhouse. I had forgotten that the movie Secret Admirer was on, so we only saw a few minutes of it. That movie, if you read earlier portions of this journal, has some significance in my life. My other moniker, Lou, was derived from one of the characters (Fred Ward as "Lou"). We went to Border's afterwards. Once again, we looked for the magazine and found it! The article is about my old pal Loser and it is the June/July issue. When we returned home, I called moms. I also talked to the bro and made final arrangements to be picked up at the airport. Before I forget, many thanks to Professor ShoeString (wfp@usa.net) for writing in!

Fodgers and doughnuts ... for the last time! Baby's friend came by around noon. He also brought his son and his buddy Eric. It took us about four hours to move baby's furniture to a friend's place. All that baby has left is her car. Her friend has offered to help her sell it. Baby had a few more things to drop off, but she came back in time to join me in the clubhouse and watch Star Trek. We did a little more packing. Later, we went to CompUSA so that I could buy a new inkjet cartridge for my beloved printer. We also stopped off at Fred Meyer to look around.

My days in Oregon have come to an end. However, my time has run out in another respect. I no longer have the luxury of cavorting around the whole creation like The Bull. As the old adage goes, the buck stops here. Well, hey! I'm not Big Money Grip! Previously, I thought that the journal should end with my return to Hawai'i. I was expecting a happy ending to this story by now, but let's face it ... life is just not that way. I am compelled to continue telling my woeful tale. I have postponed the inevitable for too long. It is time for me to face my demons. We'll see y'all in Hawai'i!

Baby and I got up early this morning. We left for the airport a little after 7am, which turned out to be sensible. There was no traffic on the freeway into Portland. The airport, however, was crowded. Baby dropped me off and went to find parking. I checked in and met her just as she came in. Check-in went fine. I was worried that the big box with baby's stuff would surpass the weight limit. We drank coffee at the Coffee People place. We had about an hour of time to chat. I boarded the plane after the last call. Baby and I said goodbye. The plane was packed with tourists. When I found my seat, there was someone sitting in it. There were two pre-teen girls sitting next to each other, obviously sisters. I asked whether the person was in the correct seat. The older of the two was snide with me and I lost it. Fortunately, the situation was resolved. I apologized for my behavior. I knew that this was going to be a long trip. The plane taxied to the runway. Then, an announcement was made by the pilot that we were returning to the terminal. A passenger decided not to make the trip to Hawai'i. However, we were only ten minutes late when we arrived in Honolulu. My bro met me at the baggage claim area right on schedule.

I called baby immediately when we got home. Then, I had a lot of unpacking to do. I sorted through the mail and found the credit card statement that never made it to me. It was buried in a pile of junk mail. I also noted that my so-called interest-free credit card loan has cost me $90 in fees. I was infuriated. The cash vampires have bit again, and they are draining me of every last bit of dough. I almost went ballistic but I kept my composure. I uninstalled Office instead. Sheesh!

I got up early and took the recycling to the local depository. My six-four actually ran fine. There was a lot of recycling. Apparently, moms has taken recycling seriously. My bro slept in because he was up until late this morning. Moms and I walked to Koko Marina. I stopped in at the Satellite City Hall and picked up an application to become a cop. Dirty Kimo may become a reality. Later, my bro and I drove into the city. We went to K-Mart so I could buy one of those big plastic storage bins. I need it to store all of my computer nerd stuff. I also called the employment agency. I talked to the guy who left the message with moms. He was indeed trying to contact the ol' lavahead but not to notify me of a potential job. Instead, he told me that he was unable to scan my résumé into the computer. I knew that what he meant was that he could scan the résumé, but the OCR reader was not able to decipher anything because of the textured résumé paper. I also received more nonsense in the mail from my favorite credit card company. I was about ready to lose it. So, I put Mr. Potato Head in with the stuff that I will be taking to Goodwill.

Fortunately, my bro restored my monk haircut. My hair had grown out in the last two months. I felt like I had a wig on. Sheesh! Annie called late this afternoon. We had a very pleasant chat and I felt much better. She said a few things that made me think about what I have done, what I am doing now, and what I may or may not do in the near future. I have been experiencing sensations of derealization again. It feels like I am living someone else's life. For all I know, I may be crossing the threshold of sanity.

If you listen, you can hear the geckos in the night. I got up early and took yet another load to the recycling bins. Robert (rbryant@mci2000.com) called, and I spoke with him for the first time. We had a very nice, upbeat chat. The Bishop called shortly after that. He said that he is definitely coming to Hawai'i. He wants to fly here at the end of the month. Basically, he needs a place to stay. I'm not sure if moms is going to like the idea since there will be six of us here already. My bro fried up some Portuguese Sausage for lunch. Portuguese Sausage and rice! Lip smackin' good! After lunch, we took the junks I put together to the Goodwill store sans Mr. Potato Head. Baby persuaded me via e-mail that Mr. Potato Head should remain on the LoserNet staff. My bro and I also stopped off at Kahala Mall to look around. Did I look for a job at any time? Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! How can I look for a job in my fragile mental state?

If you listen, you can hear the geckos in the night.

I received a confirmation of my big loan payment. However, I noticed that my next payment wasn't until Valentine's Day 1999, and the monthly payment would be increased to $590. I was infuriated. I spent about 30 minutes on the phone in an attempt to straighten up that mess. Left to their own devices, the loan people were going to set up a payment schedule that would maximize my monthly payments. Sheesh! I protested and my portfolio is being revised. I will be notified of the changes tomorrow. I also called the credit card company. My payment has not been received yet. I was assured, however, that my credit record has not yet been tainted. After that call, I vowed to pay off the balance including the so-called interest-free loan that cost me $90 and close the account next month. I will be looking into a savings account with a debit card option. My days of free-wheelin' credit are over.

Mr. Potato Head and I listen to Smooth-FM all day, every day. I don't have my K-Mart all-in-one entertainment center anymore. However, I do have that art-deco clock-radio-phone combo that my bro gave me. It works just fine. Who needs bass anyway? Today was King Kamehameha Day here in Hawai'i. Since it was a holiday, there wasn't much to do except work on my six-four. I rebuilt the carburetor (again) in about three hours. When I started my six-four, it almost ran like new. My bro and I went for a drive to Kuapa Kai. My six-four ran good, but I heard some unusual noises that sounded like they originated from the drive train. I inspected the drive train later and found oil everywhere. It looks like I may have transmission problems. Of course, that all came about after the loan people called. My loan payments have been reduced to $439 per month. Whoopie! It really is a good thing that I don't drink anymore. Sheesh!

I have only heard from baby once this week. I am sure that she has been very busy. I have been thinking about what happened between us before I left Oregon. I am certain that the stress of my situation was the catalyst that led to our demise. I find that I am no less stressed out than before. In fact, I am closer to the edge. I don't know what will happen when baby arrives. I believe that she has come to accept the situation as it stands. I hope that we will always remain friends and that we will treat each other much better as such.

My bro and I walked to Koko Marina. I inquired at several banks about opening a savings account with a debit card. I should have seen it coming ... a debit card is only available with a checking account. The cash vampires want $4 per month in service charges and the debit card costs $12 per year. Thanks, but no thanks. We also went to the auto parts store to find a socket and some parts for my six-four. The socket listed for $12. Thanks, but no thanks. We drove to K-Mart. I managed to pick up some junks that I needed for a reasonable price. We finally found the socket at Sears or $6. We also stopped at the newspaper so I could run the ad to sell Microsoft Office. After that, I decided to work on my six-four instead of looking for a job. Three hours later, I found that the problem was still there. My next step is to replace the transmission fluid.

The Bishop called late this afternoon. He made his reservations for July 15th. He will be here for three weeks. I am not sure if moms will be excited about feeding seven people. The more I think about it, the less I feel that my move to Hawai'i was sensible. I should have just stayed in Convalescent City until I was completely broke. Then, I would have become a true derelict ... collect cans, trade 'em in for the deposit, buy many 40-dogs of King Cobra, and drop 'em back! Don't let the smooth taste fool ya! Sheesh!

You're not superstitious, are you? I'm not, but I think the sinister kahuna is trying to make a believer out of me. I called the employment agency, the one that had difficulty scanning my résumé. My buddy (I use that term loosely) told me that he did not receive the new résumé I sent on Tuesday. A few minutes later, he called to say that it just arrived. Yeah, right. I called a second agency. I was told to fax or mail a résumé in for scanning. I was told by both agencies that I would be called if an employer's specifications matched the scanned keywords of my résumé. Do you think that the keyword "LoserNet" will make the phone ring off the hook? Sheesh!

I drove moms to town for her doctor's appointment. Then, my bro and I spent the afternoon replacing the garbage disposal unit and associated plumbing. I also purchased a transmission kit. I was going to replace the fluid today, but I was too fatigued from playing a marathon session of Windows Solitaire late last night. I did happen to call baby. She was doing some last minute packing. Mel was there with her. Apparently, Mel found a way to buy baby's car. Baby will be spending the night at a friend's. Her friend will take her to Portland airport early tomorrow. For baby, her big adventure commences tomorrow.

I drove to the airport early, but not early enough. The parking structure was completely full. When I finally found parking, I walked into the inter-island terminal and took the escalator to the third floor to take the Wiki-Wiki shuttle. The line was extremely long because of the agricultural inspections. Rather than wait, I literally ran to the main terminal. Baby's plane arrived early. Baby was still waiting there when I reached the gate. We took the shuttle back to the inter-island terminal. We retrieved baby's baggage and waited in line at the car rental booth. The line was taking forever. Baby decided that she didn't need the car (it was part of travel package), so we left.

My six-four was making a lot of noise during the trip to the airport and back. There was also a distinct vibration between 40 and 50 miles per hour. Traffic was heavy and I thought my six-four was going to break down for sure. Fortunately, we made it home fine. I spent the rest of the afternoon working on my beloved six-four. Baby kept me company. We took a break and walked to Koko Marina. We had lunch at Yummy's and stopped at Foodland to buy some bread for moms. Baby got to use her new Mai'kai card for the first time.

I inspected the drive train of my six-four. The differential looked fine. I pulled off the rear tires and noted that the wheel bearings seemed to be intact. It now looks as though I have two bad U-joints. I decided to put the project off until tomorrow. Moms wanted me to cook a turkey in the kamado, so that is what I did. Baby was tired from the long trip, so she went to sleep early. I stayed up and played with my beloved computer.

Moms mentioned that that her doctor put her on new medication for calcium deficiency. Her chronic backache is also a symptom of that malady. I am worried that she will develop osteoperosis. Moms is not frail by any means. She works very hard around the house. After all, she is cooking and cleaning for six people now. Baby and I have been trying to help. We have also maintained a low profile so we don't get in the way. My bro does a lot around the house. He likes to do home improvement projects, but many of his projects are not always coincident with what moms wants.

I decided to do a little work on my six-four. I spent several hours inspecting the drive train again. I cleaned off the undercarriage so that I could trace the source of the fluid leak on the transmission. Baby and I walked down to the auto parts store three times. Basically, I have no idea what is wrong with my six-four. I am just going through a Rube Goldberg process of elimination that is seemingly going nowhere. Baby and I walked to Koko Marina later in the evening. Apparently, moms and the bro had a little altercation about where towels should be hung. It has become very apparent that my bro has assumed the role as head of the household. I think that both he and my sister-in-law believe that moms is a guest in their house. They sure treat her that way.

My bro called pops. After all, it is Father's Day. I also talked to pops although we did not have much to discuss. My bro later told me that pops is being tested again for colon cancer. I am a little worried because this time it sounds bad. I now believe that I have returned home at the right time. I may never find a job here, but spending time and being near moms and pops are much more important to me.

I filled in more paperwork for my loans and mailed them. Baby and I walked to Koko Marina. I wanted to turn in my application to become a cop at the Satellite City Hall, but I was told it had to be submitted to the Personnel Office downtown. Baby and I decided to take the bus to town. By the way, both of us are planning on getting bus passes soon. We had to transfer at Kahala Mall. It took about an hour to reach our destination. We walked to Honolulu Hale (City Hall), and I turned my application in. Then, we walked further into the core of downtown. Baby wanted to stop in at Liberty House to pick up some makeup, so we did. We continued our journey into old Chinatown. I wanted to show baby this historic area when she was here in March, but we could not find parking. Sheesh! We found the open-air fish market. However, all of the shops were closing. We were disappointed. We walked around town for a while longer. As it was nearing dinner, we decided to return home.

I opened the differential on my six-four before dinner. Everything looked fine. I decided to open the casing after I took another ride in my six-four. Baby came along to help me locate the source of the drive train noise. It sounded as though it was coming from the rear axle, either the differential or the wheel bearings. By chance, I decided to check the U-joints again. This time, I took the transmission out of gear. I discovered that one of the U-joints was loose. I lubed the joint and took my six-four for a spin. The noise was getting worse. I feared the worst. The wheel bearings are sealed units and it would be very costly to replace them. I was ready to lose it.

I got up early with the intention of drafting a few more employment queries. However, my beloved six-four was all I could think about. I had bought new U-joints yesterday and decided to replace them today. My bro helped me replace them. It took us most of the day. We destroyed the first U-joint, but our learning curve improved after I had to spend another $13 for a new one. We finally finished the project. I was certain that the sinister kahuna was waiting for this moment to deal me a bad hand. Baby joined me for the test drive. The noise was completely gone! My six-four drove like it was new. When we returned, I wanted to grease the U-joint completely. I discovered that my bro and I had put the U-joint in backwards. I disconnected the drive shaft and pulled it off the differential. My six-four began rolling. The rear tire was heading straight for me. I grabbed the frame and held on for dear life. I yelled for my bro to come and apply the parking brake. What a fool! I had the car parked in gear but, when I yanked the drive shaft off, there was nothing to stop it from moving. Well, at least my beloved six-four is back in service again. Now, I can get on with more important things. Sheesh!

Baby had a return call from a potential employer yesterday. Moms had taken the call but she thought that baby was not home. When baby returned the call, she discovered that the guy who had called just went on vacation. Baby wasn't feeling too well for most of the day. I am sure that the stress of the move has caught up with her, too. My bro began the preparations to paint the house. I helped him remove the mold that has building up over the years. He sprayed chlorine bleach on the affected wood, and I did the rinsing. Baby felt better later in the evening. However, we just stayed in.

Baby had an interview with an employment agency. I did not want to drive downtown, so we took the bus. It took us almost an hour to reach town, but we made it on time for baby's interview. I walked around the Fort Street Mall. I happened to stop in Liberty House and saw that there was an Aloha shirt sale. I opted to wait until baby could help me pick out a shirt to buy. I walked through Chinatown via the notorious Hotel Street route. Then, I returned to Fort Street and sat down on one of the benches with all the other old guys. Baby called me on my beloved cell phone when she was finished with her interview. I told her where I was and she met me there. We went back to Liberty House. Baby helped me pick out two Aloha shirts. We browsed at some of the other stores and walked through Chinatown. Finally, we caught the bus from Chinatown to return home. After dinner, baby and I walked to Koko Head Park and sat on the bench in one of the vacant tennis courts. It was a beautiful and warm night, although the wind was very gusty.

Baby and I have not been doing much. We have settled into the more relaxed kama'aina lifestyle. Of course, baby may differ with that statement since I have been on the edge lately. I don't really want to drive anywhere, and baby and I cannot obtain bus passes until the end of the month. After we do get them, we may be going to a lot of different places. What we save on gas and parking can be used to pay rip-off admission fees. Sheesh!

Moms gave me a little bit of hard time for not staying at home and helping the bro yesterday. He has begun to sand the old paint. Moms also made some remarks about the job situation which set me off. Baby wanted me to help her with a new résumé, but I inadvertently left some material out. Baby became emotional and accused me of changing her résumé and downplaying her skills. I lost it and went into a tirade. Moms wanted me to drive her to Foodland. By this time, I was in a real chastising mood. I went off again. Moms said I was acting just like my bro. Later, I realized that moms was right. When pushed too far, I am exactly like the bro, who happen to be exactly like pops. In some respects, the whole situation is comical.

Baby and I had a cup of coffee in the small café inside Foodland. After we were finished, we looked for moms. We couldn't find her anywhere inside, so I looked outside. She had been waiting for a while. I have no idea how she walked through the front entrance without me seeing her since the café is adjacent to it. Baby and I went to Ala Moana to look around. I also wanted to pick up some roast duck from Patti's Chinese Kitchen. We also bought a small bento selection of Sushi for moms. We brought the stuff home and put it out with the rest of the entrées. Only baby and I partook of the duck. Only my nephew ate a piece of Sushi. I am glad that I was in a calm frame of mind. If I had been in the mood I was in this morning, I would have cleaned off the dinner table with the back of my arm just like the way G cleaned off his desk in one of my favorite episodes of Homicide. Baby and I walked to Safeway in Kuapa Kai right after dinner. Actually, it is nice to get away from the house. My bro, my sister-in-law and my nephew are usually watching the tube. Yes, as you may have been wondering, Home Alone played several encore performances. Lord have mercy!

Well, I finally received a call from one of the employment agencies I wrote to. Unfortunately, I missed the call. The representative wants me to call and set up an appointment as soon as possible. How do you like that? Someone may actually be interested in hiring the ol' lavahead. Well, I don't want to jump to conclusions. Once anyone discovers that I have no skills, I'll be back in the unemployment line again.

I had a crazy dream that could have been something straight out of a Dirty Kimo episode. Five clowns ransacked my place in a degrading fashion. Somehow I found out who they were. I confronted four of them. They thought they were going to pummel the ol' lavahead, but I whipped out a can of mace and sprayed all of them in the face. I knocked them all down and kicked each one of them in the groin as hard as I could with steel-toed construction boots that I had acquired just for that purpose. I finally found the leader. Of course, I knew that he had been tipped off by his stooges. He had on some kind of face mask. I sprayed him from behind. He laughed. Then, I threw a match on him and he exploded into flames. I had sprayed him with a volatile substance. Am I losin' it, or what?

Moms wanted to visit my aunt and uncle in Wahiawa to drop off some of her home-grown grapefruit. My bro drove with his family and moms, and baby and I drove my beloved six-four. We stayed there for quite a while. As Wahiawa is considered the "country," moms and my bro's family are rarely in the neighborhood. Their last visit was probably three years ago. Mind you, Wahiawa is only 30 miles away. I saw some of my cousins' kids. Most are adults now with kids of their own. None of them recognized the ol' lavahead. On the way back, baby and I stopped at Kahala Mall. We had coffee at Starbuck's and also perused the new Barnes & Noble store. Baby cooked Lasagne especially for moms tonight. The family enjoyed the meal. Of course, my cholesterol level has been elevated by the good food I have been eating. Both baby and I have been eating too well. We need to find a gym very soon.

Baby has been very stressed out, although she has been handling it well. Her finances are not holding up well since she has not been paid by the people who bought her furniture, her car and other possessions. To make matters worse, the title to her car is still in her name which increases her liability. This is something none of us needs at this point in time. After helping moms with a variety of household chores, baby and I went for a walk to Koko Marina. She bought a gift for her daughter. We returned home for lunch. Baby ate a mango and I had a couple of slices of Portuguese Sweet Bread. We then took another walk to Kuapa Kai. I promised moms that I would cook the chicken and pork in the kamado. We were a little late coming back. Moms had already started cooking. I took over the duties from her. Baby and I had a pleasant surprise. Robert (rbryant@mci2000.com) called and baby talked with him because I had to keep an eye on the food.

Baby said that she could not help but overhear a conversation my sister-in-law was having on the phone. Baby was writing a letter to her daughter at the time. Apparently, my sister-in-law got a blood test to verify whether she was pregnant or not. Baby said that doctors use the same test as the over-the-counter kits. A blood test is given to confirm any discrepencies. Moms had already told them that she cannot take the stress of another kid. She lost ten pounds (moms weighs less than 90 pounds as it is) because of having to share the responsibilities that my sister-in-law seems inept at. Apparently, they have decided to try for another child anyway, which will be moms' demise. Perhaps that is the plan.

I returned the call to the employment agency and set up an appointment for tomorrow. It sounded like I may be able to apply for several Net-related jobs, perhaps on a consulting basis. Baby had a noon appointment at one of the temporary placement agencies. She was told that it would take about two hours for the interview and testing. Since the agency was in Ala Moana, I decided to drive. Moms wanted to come along, too. So, we all rode in my six-four. Moms and I walked around Ala Moana and window-shopped. We had lunch at Shirokiya. I decided to have a discussion with moms about the situation at home. She pretty much knew the whole story. Moms conceded that there was nothing she could do if my sister-in-law has another kid. Effectively, she has relinquished control of her own house.

We met up with baby later. It did not sound like she had a fun time at the agency. Baby had also called the other agency to follow up last week's appointment. She received a mediocre response from the employment counselor. We took a nice scenic drive through Waikiki and the Kahala area. Actually, it is not all that scenic, but it beats the freeway. Baby and I went for a late night walk and discussed the situation. I am becoming more mentally fatigued by the day.

I was a little excited about my appointment at the employment agency. Baby went along with me on the bus. We met with Mel's ex-mother-in-law at the Fort Street Mall. She gave baby a check for the car. When baby looked, she saw that it was $500 short. It started raining and we ran for cover. We had enough time for me to find the office building. Baby rode the elevator with me. I told baby to meet me in the lobby of the building in 30 minutes. Two hours later, I was still in the cramped office of a one-person employment agency. The woman I had an appointment with was 20 minutes late so I talked with the attorney who shared the office space. He essentially told me that Hawai'i was a lost cause job-wise. He advised me to go back to the mainland, and he had substantial evidence to back his words. The employment counselor, however, spent three hours talking with me about a variety of things. She has become a multi-level marketer for a new Internet mall. After many cryptic references to a variety of possibly non-existent jobs and the overly patronizing ohana treatment, I was given a lead. I have an interview tomorrow for a job as a copying machine salesperson. Fortunately, I had my beloved cell phone with me. It rang about two hours into the discussion. I thought that it was baby calling to find out where I was. The call was about a computer analyst position that I applied for. When I finally left, I took the elevator down to the lobby. Baby had been sitting there patiently for over two hours. I returned the call I received earlier and secured an interview for tomorrow morning.
 

The meeting today has left me with a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak. I really need to get into business for myself, doing what I want to do. I need to take the advice of so many people, and just do it. Maybe I'm getting a little cocky. Everyone, including my new employment counselor, has stressed the importance of networking in the kama'aina way. Take it slow and pay your dues, they say. Don't do anything the haole way. They tell me that crap, yet the mainlanders have already taken over. They control the big companies. They control the wealth. The old kama'aina ways are only going to work if I want to open up a Saimin stand. So, the big question is ... what should I do?

Don't do anything the haole way.

I called the copying machine people and cancelled the interview. I just couldn't imagine myself selling copying machines. Baby went along with me to my other interview. She sat out in the lobby and wrote a letter while she waited. The interview lasted about 20 minutes, and I was certain that nothing would come of it. We stopped off at one of the local banks to drop off her résumé. Later in the evening, we drove to Barnes & Noble in Kahala Mall. The place was packed. I can see why since there are very few other entertainment options that cost the equivalent of a cup of coffee. Naturally, I read every computer magazine. Well, hey! I'm still a computer nerd!

I was a little discouraged after the interview this morning. I have less than two weeks before I will begin writing checks for $425 every month for the next ten years. I am sleeping on the couch in the back room which my bro and sister-in-law use as a warehouse to store their stuff. I have to move my six-four onto the front yard every three days so that the rubbish man (the local term for garbage collectors) won't go into a fit when he can't maneuver his truck to access the trash cans. Too many things are getting on my nerves. I have decided that the time has come for Highest Source to become a reality.

I received a phone call from the guy I interviewed with yesterday. He made me an offer for employment. Naturally, I accepted. The job will only last six months, but I will be gain valuable intranet experience. I had to go in for a physical examinations as part of the conditions of employment. Basically, the examination was an intensive drug screen. Baby and I took the bus downtown to the clinic. The examination took about an hour. Baby walked across the street to Goodwill and did some shopping. Later, we walked about seven blocks to the bank that baby dropped her résumé off yesterday. Earlier, I had encouraged baby to stop in to check on the status of her résumé in the hope that she would be able to at least chat with someone involved in the hiring process. Well, she was able to get an informal interview which lasted about 45 minutes. That was a good situation because baby may have distinguished herself from all the other candidates. After all, that is the nature of the job-hunting game.

Baby and I have made it a point to go for nightly walks. The weather, as you can guess, is conducive to that activity. We walk around the neighborhood, or we go to the park and sit on one of the benches. Sometimes we walk to Kuapa Kai or Koko Marina. It is also nice to get out of the house. My nephew has become a real whiner. Since he receives no discipline, he constantly whines and cries to get his way. The noise is beginning to get on my nerves. During our walks, baby and I have noticed the proliferation of the extended family concept here in Hawai'i. Most of the houses in the neighborhood have been remodeled to add extra living space. There are usually five or six cars per house. Some people have even paved over their front yards to be able to park the additional cars. The trend in Hawai'i is that the kids are returning home to live with their parents. Sheesh!

My bro will be returning to work on Monday. He found a position as a framer for a construction job. He will take a reduction in pay, but the time will count toward his journeyman's license. My bro left early this morning, so I thought he had already started working. Baby received a call from the mortgage firm that she was interested in. The call was somewhat of a disappointment. The duffer wanted someone who would make him look good to his mainland superiors. Who needs that kind of nonsense? We left for town on the bus shortly afterward. Baby wanted to drop off her résumé with another employment agency. However, when we found the address, it was located at one of those mailbox depots. I had submitted my résumé by mail to that same employment agency over a week ago. Hawai'i is ripe for con artists. For instance, we have about 50 colleges registered here. Most are small institutions with no classrooms per se. Sheesh! Baby and I also walked around town and collected the business and tax documents for Highest Source. We took the bus to Ala Moana. Baby had made an appointment to do some computer training at the employment agency. I kept her company during the laborious process. While watching the canned program sequence through the training, I realized that there was a lucrative market out there in the software training field. This could be another market for Highest Source. However, one of our major problems will be how we will separate ourselves from the con artists and fly-by-night firms.

Baby and I took the bus into town. We were originally planning to attend the Taste of Honolulu event. However, we revised our plans. We got off at Ala Moana and walked to the Ward Center. We dropped in Border's for the first time. It was a nice store, but it was not as spacious as the one we were used to in Oregon. We did a little window shopping. Baby and I had a minor misunderstanding again. In retrospect, I can see that I am still on the edge. We walked back to Ala Moana and looked around. Baby felt a little dizzy, probably due to the extreme difference between the air-conditioned stores and the ambient temperature as Ala Moana is an open-air mall. We missed the five o' clock bus, so we had to wait another hour. We returned home late. After dinner, baby and I went for a short walk. Then, we called it an evening.

Baby and I were planning to go to Barnes & Noble in Kahala Mall, but we changed our minds on the way there. We stayed on the bus until Waikiki and got off. I'm not particularly fond of Waikiki. It is a congested mess of overpriced stores catering to an elite clientele. We spent all afternoon walking around. We hiked toward the Fort De Russy area. That is about the prettiest area in Waikiki. I am sure that the land is worth a lot, and there are probably many developers who would like to see that land "privatized." Hawai'i is in a bad way, though. Right now, it leads the nation in bankruptcies. There is a lot of political tension in the air locally. Anyway, we missed the bus and so we had to wait an additional hour. We were late for dinner.

Baby and I took our nightly walk. Before we left, baby had to go back into the house because she forgot something. She witnessed my bro giving moms a hard time because the wind had extinguished the pilot light in the heater. He had to light the pilot before he could take a shower. Later, moms detailed to me that the bro was carrying on and kicking everything in sight. Moms told him to get out of the house if he can't show her any respect. All the while, my nephew was yelling, "Grandma bad!" No one stopped him. I suspect that this situation will continue to escalate. There are just too many people in the house. The tension is rising. Of course, there is more to the story here. I will detail all of that nonsense later.

Baby had another training appointment at the employment agency. We rode the bus to Ala Moana. While baby did her training, I walked around Ala Moana. Baby met me at the bus stop and we took the bus home. After dinner, we went to Barnes & Noble in Kahala Mall. I did a little research and found the Hawai'ian translation of "Highest Source" ... Kumu Ki'eki'e Loa. That may be the new name for my consulting business. Kumu Ki'eki'e Loa Internet Consulting and Landscaping Service. Sheesh! I also found a good book about constructing business plans. I may try to secure a business loan. Of course, that will be way into the distant future.

As you can tell, I am still not working. I have not heard from my new employer yet. Maybe the offer will be rescinded. I may have to start pounding the pavement again soon. My bro and my sister-in-law were on good behavior tonight. However, baby mentioned that my nephew was yelling "Get out of my house!" when we were leaving for Barnes & Noble. She thought that she heard wrong, but he did the same thing when she went back inside because she forgot the house key.

Continue the adventure now ... let's hele on to July now!

The Keeper of Lost Lives: Hele On, Braddah!

Starring:
The Keeper of Lost Lives ... Tralfaz
Moms ... Herself
Baby ... Herself
And a cast of thousands!

© Copyright 1997 by The Keeper of Lost Lives
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