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The Year of Living Dangerously
Beware the Ides of March

Note: This volume has been edited beyond recognition.

Sunday March 9, 2003

Another night of strange dreams. I woke up fatigued. There were heavy rains this morning. A fitting end to my reprieve from the Asylum. I am not looking forward to returning to that dump. I need not worry for my time is limited. Once the Roach Inquisition is over, I will either be phased out like Mike or terminated. When that time comes, I will most likely be relieved. Worrying about money is a joke. It could all disappear tomorrow. In reading the "gospels," I have discovered some interesting truths. My reading of the Book of Luke has been particularly enlightening. I have been trying to discern why I have placed so much importance on my five-year financial plan, even though it is sheer vanity. Sure, semi-retirement is a consideration, but there must be more. I surmise that I am setting up a "nest egg" in the unlikely event that I were to hook up with a babe. This is, of course, very foolish and dangerous thinking. Nonetheless, the five-year plan was a vow that I made, so I will honor it. As long as I maintain a "simple eye," then I can avoid being ensnared by the traps laid out by the sinister kahuna.

By early afternoon, the sun was shining and the skies were clear. I walked to the gym and did my usual cardio workout. When I returned home, I relaxed and enjoyed the peaceful afternoon. I pondered a few thoughts from the Good Book, one being, "Mark well that the ravens neither sow seed nor reap, and they have neither barn nor storehouse, and yet the Almighty feeds them," The earth's ecosystem is self-perpetuating. Only humans have found devious ways to place a price on sustenance. We have taken the concept of "ownership" and subverted it in such a way to enslave the masses. I am bothered by what I see. However, something compels me to search for the prophetic signs. The prophesy speaks of visible signs in the heavens, which may be what prompted me to purchase my Orion telescope. If the skies remain clear this evening, I will keep my astronomical vigil. The psychotic classical pieces emanating from my Bose Acoustic Wave will keep me company. Lord have mercy.

Monday March 10

I spent about an hour outside last night with my beloved Orion telescope. I used my cheap Barlow lens along with my 10mm eyepiece to view the moon. There was an extremely thin green outline around the moon, which was almost unnoticeable. The mosquitos were giving me a lot of grief, so I finally called it a night. Sheesh! The first day back at the Asylum was uneventful. Frankly, I did not want to be there. Since I am now the lowest paid faculty member, I am going to put less effort in any kind of curriculum development. My reputation still precedes me. I have only a handful of students in each of my classes. Kevin's classes are completely packed. This will further reduce my workload.

Fortunately, I did not see my favorite Asian babe at the gym. I was able to complete my workout without duress. While I was on the StairMaster, I pondered the babe situation. In fact, I really should lay the cards on the table right here. I kept wondering why I can't hook up with a babe. The answer is quite simple — I refuse to snap into action, even though the urge to do so is quite strong. "Mind over matter" is quite a powerful force once it is harnessed. I also realize that I am loser, and an old loser at that. The "point of no return" is coming up very soon for me. I won't have to worry about babes after that. Yet, I find no incentive to make any changes, opting instead to remain in uncertainty. I really don't know why I am attracted to babes beyond simple biology.

Tuesday March 11

An uneventful day. At the Asylum, two of the young babes in my class told me that they thought I was a student. I was flattered. At the Diploma Mill, I had a nice chat with Lisa, one of my students. She said that she was a "non-traditional" student, which I thought was odd since she looks quite young. It turns out that she is closer to 30 years of age. Lisa is an Asian babe, originally from New York. She is a hottie. Sometimes I have to wonder whether my life is some kind of cruel joke. I am surrounded by gorgeous babes. I have to interact with them on a daily basis, and I must remain eunuch-like. Where were these babes when I was a boy in the army?

Beware the Ides of March. We are days away from invading Iraq. Every form of mass media is filled with propaganda and warmongering rhetoric. Those beating the war drums the loudest are shameless cowards who have never served in the military. In the meantime, the economy is totally unraveling. The Fed is planning to cut interest rates again, which means that the money supply is being increased with more useless paper money. Unemployment is up again, and I will soon be joining those ranks. I have been unable to secure more than one class at the Diploma Mill for both Summer and Fall. I will be terminated from the Asylum at the end of this term. Things are just not looking too good for the ol' lavahead. I read an interesting analysis on Mike Ruppert's From the Wilderness site. The article titled "US Intentions" by Dale Allen Pfeiffer presented a sobering overview of the coming oil crisis (i.e., oil supplies are at or nearing "peak"). I am inclined to believe the facts presented. From my own daily experiences, I can ascertain the same conclusions. As gas prices rose, I noted that the express bus ridership began dropping. Traffic increased as did my transit time. We are squandering our energy resources just to satisfy our vanity. At the most, we have 20 years of capacity at our present rate of irresponsible consumption. What happens after that? Any brain donor can figure out that the economy will implode in the event of a major energy crisis. It's already teetering on collapse. Saddam is not our enemy. We are our own worst enemy. The invasion will happen. It's a last ditch effort (read: oil grab) to buy time. Chaos and anarchy will be inevitable when the last of the oil reserves disappears. These are lessons the Moai learned the hard way. The stoneheads on Easter Island are a tribute to human vanity. It is also a lasting testimony of a rabid society that brought itself to extinction.

I have absolutely no contingency plan, even with advanced warning of my demise. I suppose that my destiny lies now in the hands of the Almighty. I have been thwarted at every turn. Babes will certainly be a moot issue as I merely try to survive on zero income. This is the prophesy (see January 8th) in fulfillment. I don't know. I could losing my mind and go for broke with some babe. I may end up breaking all the rules, including my monk vows. After all, how much time do we have before the end comes? Even amidst these world crises, I can only ruminate about babes. Perhaps I am a monk in name only. Inside, there exists a burning desire to hook up with a babe. Rather than fight it any longer, I should just give in and take action. Right? Yet anyone who knows the ol' lavahead also knows that he cannot be "domesticated" for very long. By the way, that's the term Lisa used to describe her ten-year hiatus before returning to college. The babe situation is never ending.

Wednesday March 12

Last night, I spent some time outside with my beloved Orion telescope. The skies were clear, but the moon was too bright. The mosquitos were also totally out of hand. It was not an enjoyable experience. There is a strange tension in the air at the Asylum. Knowing that my time is limited, I have decided to adapt some of Kevin's class policies. This will make life even simpler for me. I ran into Pseudo-professor Robert today at the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. His hours have been cut at the Legal Aid Society, and now he is trying to scrape up other means of income. He is also auditioning for the Hawai'i Stars program on the tube. I suspect that he wants stardom to attract babes. That seems to be the underlying theme of many of his actions. He wants something to make him stand out from the crowd. Then, the babes will come to him, begging to be at his side. With all of those stupid dating "reality" shows on the tube, it becomes clear why he chose this route. Frankly, that's probably the only way to meet babes these days.

The bottom line is that everyone is suffering from some kind of neurosis. No one seems to know what the role of a common person is. These definitions are in limbo because of the types of moronic programming on the tube, specifically the "reality" shows. There's nothing real about these shows. The success of this genre of programming has to do with the "existential vacuum" prevalent in modern society. Playing on the most primal of needs, of course, can only induce mass neuroses.

My favorite Asian babe was at the gym today. She was wearing a very enticing gym outfit. There were no strange occurrences today. I noted that she spent quite a bit of time chatting with the Ambassador. Naturally, the Ambassador had a big grin on his face when a few of the young studs yelled out, "Is that your new girlfriend?" I actually can't say much because the Ambassador is probably only a few years older than the ol' lavahead. That's rather appalling. I am becoming more certain that I must take some kind of action about this whole babe situation.

I have been continuing my reading of the "gospels." I am now reading the Book of John. I am coming to a greater understanding of life. As I told Pseudo-professor Robert, I can handle just about anything except for the passing of moms. This bothers me daily, and I am left wondering whether I will be able to surmount the grief. This is a very important time for me. Yet, I will live on. That's probably why the babe issue keeps surfacing. I am not even certain if that is the right answer for me. After all, I am a monk.

Thursday March 13

I was extremely fatigued when I returned home. I lectured in all of my classes at both the Asylum and the Diploma Mill. And, I had so many loose ends to tie up. I am completely backlogged with work, but I refuse to bring any of it home with me. These are quality of life issues, of which I made a decision a while back. Thus, while I am in town, I must devote every spare moment to complete my tasks. Well, that's not exactly true. I do spend quite a bit of time socializing. Kevin gave me a job application for the Punaho'u Schools. He is applying for one of several technical positions, and he wants me to apply as well. I will probably submit the application, but I am not really interested in becoming a full-time wage slave. I really want out of this rat race.

My conversation yesterday with Pseudo-professor Robert was somewhat enlightening. I have learned that we are not as similar as I had previously thought. He has saved no dough, even though he filed for bankruptcy about seven years ago. He lives at home with his mother, but he pays no rent. His only major expense is his health plan, which he considers a bargain since he is able to obtain his medication using the drug rider. The turning point of his life was when he contracted the "illness," as he calls it. The "illness" (read: "bipolar" disorder) has essentially robbed him of everything including his dignity. He is also extremely materialistic, as evidenced by his stable of electronic toys. What really holds him back is the fact that he has no credit available to him, thanks in part to the Chapter VII bankruptcy. He told me that various possessions like his car make him happy. When I asserted that happiness is a state of mind, he said, "You're eluding yourself, my friend." However, I am not the one on medication. In other respects, we are very similar. The babe situation is one common denominator. My guess is that the babe situation is at the root of all of our problems. Nasty thing, that biology. Time is rapidly running out. Beware the Ides of March!

Friday March 14

There are some strange things going on at the Asylum. One of my students, Mariano, mentioned that there were questionable accounting practices used for his financial aid package. He also receives funds through the O'ahu Worklinks program. The Asylum has apparently been charging books and other fees which have never been delivered. A clandestine investigation has been launched by Worklinks. My feeling is that the Asylum's time is coming. The questionable practices of the Asylum's Financial Aid Office has been a sore point with students ever since I've been a wage slave there. I have often pointed out to the students that any kind of fraud would be a Federal crime, but no one has had the courage to do anything about the mess. I assume that the fraudulent policies have actually come from top management because the rank-and-file have come and gone over the years. I hope that the Big Hand is ready to pull the plunger on the Asylum. I want to to see all of the turds like Bug and Roach swept into the vortex and flushed away into the abyss of sewage.

I had a lot to do today, most of which involved the preparation of exam material for both the Asylum and the Diploma Mill. To make matters worse, my favorite Asian babe has not been at the gym for two days. What difference does it make if I see them anyway? Sheesh! I was glad to leave the salt mines. I am not going to do anything this weekend. Well, that's the way it is every weekend. I will spend the evening listening to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio courtesy my Bose Acoustic Wave. My iBook will also be right here with me. Looks like another clear night, so I may spend an hour or so outside with my beloved Orion telescope.

Saturday March 15

I was too fatigued to drag my Orion telescope outside last night. I also did not want to deal with the mosquitos. Frankly, I should have never purchased the telescope. Once again, I gave in to consumerism. If the Edmund Scientific catalog had arrived much earlier, I would have probably ended up with the Astroscan telescope. I would have saved over $100 for a more compact unit, albeit equally useless. Sheesh! I have yet to list more of my useless crap on eBay. Heck, I should put my hurdy-gurdy DVD library up for bid as well. Everything must go!

I neglected to mention that Shirley called and left a couple of messages in the last two weeks. I never called her back. She also sent e-mail one day and asked me to call her. I have not been in the mood to chat with anyone. I must do this daily as part of my wage slave duties. Ever since the days when I lived in the Roach Motel in Convalescent City, I had an aversion toward the phone. I despise the phone. I dislike talking on the phone even more. I have gradually developed a dislike for e-mail as well. Thus, I have become a recluse.

I remained fatigued all day and spent most of the day lapsing in and out of a coma in my favorite chair. I walked to the gym this afternoon. Although I was extremely fatigued, I managed to complete a full workout. I felt better for about an hour. I saw Roach driving in his truck while I was walking to the gym. When I have my shades on, I do not move my head to observe what is my periphery. I saw the prick grimacing when he saw me. Later in the day, I was even more fatigued. Again, I lapsed in and out of a coma in my favorite chair. The skies are completely clouded over this evening, so I won't be outside with my Orion telescope. I will spend my evening engaged in the usual benign activities.

Sunday March 16

Shirley called early this morning and left a message. I returned her call after I returned from taking in the recycling. She was sitting in her car in Waipio and watching Ramona's team playing soccer. We chatted for only 20 minutes. I was extremely fatigued again. So, I spent most of the day lapsing in and out of a coma in my favorite chair. Moms and I went to Long's Drugs in Kuapa Kai after lunch. I walked down to the gym later and did my usual cardio workout. It was raining for most of the morning, but somehow cleared up by late afternoon.

I have been trying to figure out the cause of my chronic fatigue. I suspect that the cause is the upcoming invasion of Iraq. The media has been saturated completely with warmongering crap. It's sickening. What really gets to me is the incredible blind patriotism displayed by people who seem so eager to engage in mayhem. The whole scenario is straight out of Mein Kampf. Shrub and his cronies have to be laughing their asses off, especially with the ludicrous smear campaign to intimidate France. Goebbels would be proud. "Freedom" Fries — what a [copulating] joke! What really is scary is that the majority of brain donors in this country are fully behind this farce. This is why I am lapsing into a chronic depression. I'm bound to hear from some armchair patriot like Chimpo again. What the loser doesn't realize is that anybody can now be stripped of citizenship and be given the "terrorist" treatment. Yeah, that's right, even you Chimpo! Shrub has also empowered many puny megalomaniacs like Roach. "This is like the situation with Iraq," Kevin said the other day, in reference to the daily barrage of crap that we must tolerate. The whole world is out of control. Wrong is right.

I continue to read the Scriptures. In reading the Acts of the Apostles, I have brought myself to ponder whether the accounts are factual. Specifically, it is fairly obvious that many do not believe that the Messiah had actually made an appearance. Constantly, the Pharisees and Sadducees questioned whether the Messiah was either John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah, or the Prophet. There is a tremendous amount of information to digest, but I believe the accounts to be truthful. Primarily, I have had to rely on the fulfillment of prophesy in our time. I am compelled to continue my research, mainly because of the proliferation of false prophets including Shrub. The fact that the latter believes that he is being divinely guided by the Almighty should give rise to the fear that Armageddon is right around the corner. There has been one consistent axiom throughout the Good Book — the sinister kahuna is the ruler of the world. Hence, all "kingdoms" on earth are ruled by the sinister one. Lord have mercy.

Monday March 17

Shirley called again last night. We chatted for about 30 minutes, but I believe that she wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I tried to discuss a few of the topics that I wrote about last night in the journal. She must have thought that I was losin' it. Like most other people, Shirley has been fixated on the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping case. Knowing that the psychotic kidnapper wanted to set up a harem of babes is certainly more important than the farcical Azores summit (where the final approval for the Iraq oil grab was made). Petrol is now over $2 per gallon. Doesn't seem to stop all the fools from driving around endlessly. So far, my total petrol expense for the year is a whopping six dollars. A recent article reprinted in the McClendon Report indicated that many of the jobs in the services sector will soon be contracted overseas. Countries such as China and the Philippines are already poised to assume world calling center functions. More unemployment is around the corner, eh?

An uneventful day. At the Asylum, Kevin indicated that Roach and Bug have been really friendly toward him lately. My days are numbered, but I really don't even care anymore. Pseudo-professor Robert was in the faculty computer room. After my class, we ended up having a discussion about the babe situation again. Although he is inclined to agree with me that we need to do something soon, he is uncertain of the implementation. How long can this charade go on?

In the locker room at the gym, I overheard one of the meatheads spouting off, "I really feel sorry for those Iraqis. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! They don't don't know what they're in for. Ha! Ha! Ha!" In the background, the talking heads on the tube were analyzing Shrub's "ultimatum" to Saddam. It sounded more like the pre-game show for the Super Bowl. For most people in this country, the whole situation is nothing more than a "reality" spectator sport. This really brings to mind the depravity of the Roman Empire in its heyday, when prisoners fought to the death in the Coliseum just for the entertainment of the bloodthirsty crowd. We have made a shambles of Afghanistan, but we finally secured the pipeline deal. So, what about Iraq? On Mike Ruppert's site, the article titled "Rolling Start: The Idiot Prince Will Have His War," author Stan Goff summarizes what possibly lies ahead. The "shock and awe" bombing strategy is the key to the mission's immediate success. I have listened to many asswipes in the past few days, obviously pumped up with adrenaline, express sheer excitement over "kickin' some ass." Yet, my question to them is this: How would you feel if you knew that you and your family had only two days before being blown to bits? Our time will come. We will reap what we sow.

Tuesday March 18

An unexciting day. At the Asylum, Kevin showed me his latest statement for the Roach Inquisition. It was pretty hilarious. He detailed a peculiar incident. Kevin usually arrives at the Asylum at 7:30am. The janitorial staff cleans the restrooms just prior to his arrival. He takes a dump in the same stall just minutes afterward. The following Monday after the inquisition commenced, Kevin discovered that someone had taken a huge dump and made a big mess in the stall. He noted that no one else was there except Roach. The following Monday, he discovered that someone had taken a whiz all over everything. Once again, only Roach was there. Kevin is certain that Roach was the perpetrator. I would not put it past the fool.

That's why I immediately restored my monk haircut today. The babe situation is really a wash. Yesterday, Pseudo-professor Robert and I agreed on one thing — we have nothing in common with babes in our age group. Naturally, this presents quite a conundrum for us. Aside from that one point, we tend to diverge on opinion. He keeps mentioning "strippers," so I am assuming that he wants to hook u with one of those young, exotic dancer types. By the way, I have not seen my favorite Asian babe at the gym for a week now.

I have been extremely fatigued, but I have been getting a lot done. I have no choice, since I must meet my responsibilities as a pseudo-professor. What really fatigues me, though, is how human society has degenerated to a cesspool. We believe that everything is still holding up, but that's not true. We've become a bunch of loud-mouthed, rude, belligerent, selfish, lying, greedy, conniving asswipes. What is even more sickening is that we're damned proud of it, too. Heck, even I have fallen short of the mark. That's disappointing. No excessive materialism. No endless consumerism. No indentured wage slavery. No asswipes to deal with. All my neighbors and friends would be like Mr. Rogers. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, I am going to relax tonight. I may even unwrap my Bose Acoustic Wave for the occasion.

Wednesday March 19

I came across an article by Peter Dale Scott titled, "Bush's Deep Reasons for War on Iraq: Oil, Petrodollars, and the OPEC Euro Question." We already know that the invasion is about oil, primarily the control of Middle Eastern oil reserves. However, the connection between the dollar as a reserve currency and oil was vague, at best. Now, it becomes clear. The dollar is the world's reserve currency because oil is traded in dollars. Saddam was the first to convert to the euro. The strength of the dollar has rested mainly in the fact that the central banks in all nations must carry dollar reserves in order to trade for critical commodities like oil. The recent move by some Islamic nations to coin gold was motivated by the desire to create an alternative to dollar hegemony. All of this now sheds considerable light on what is the driving force of the invasion of Iraq. Completely opening the spigot to Iraqi oil reserves only buys a short period of time. Cheap oil (i.e., $15 per barrel) could bring a short-term recovery, but it does little to address the problem of when the oil eventually runs out.

At the Asylum, more treachery and stupidity abounds. Keir, the student who was the catalyst for the Roach Inquisition, is now a suspected agent for Bug and Roach. In retrospect, I now believe that he was used like a cheap tool, an implement, by Roach in order to set me up for more trumped-up charges. Naturally, the end result would be my termination. I never did cut a deal with Keir. He failed one of my classes. Yet, he is now enrolled in another of my classes. Am I hallucinating, or is this another set up? I had a much more pleasant day at the Diploma Mill.

Later, I went to the gym. I cut my workout short because I had to compose another statement for the Roach Inquisition concerning Keir (Roach's new agent). My favorite Asian babe was not there. She has probably hooked up with some stud. Oh well. Moms bought a Panda Express take-out dinner for me. It was delicious. After the feast, I opened the foolish fortune cookie. I swear that I am telling the truth. The "fortune" read, "An admirer is concealing affection for you." Sheesh!

Thursday March 20

Well, the invasion of Iraq has commenced as promised by the "compassionate conservative." What I finally hope is that the asswipe stops calling himself a "Christian." Even though I don't particularly care for country music, I am now a fan of the Dixie Chicks. They are hotties. I also love those "clip art" comics at the Get Your War On site (www.mnftiu.cc). I finished reading the Book of Revelation. I am now wondering what part of the prophesy we are fulfilling at this exact moment in time.

In this day and age, the truth does not set anyone free. There is a certain ugliness to the truth. For instance, I learned recently that Adolph Hitler was a "Christian," at least by outward appearances. The symbols of his empire were modified symbols of the church. Some people may believe that I've become very partisan insofar as politics is concerned. Believe me, I am not as partisan as I used to be (i.e., prior to becoming a monk). As we have seen in the past two years, there has been no dissension from the other political party. Many activists have been accusing the latter of being invertebrates. While that may be partially true, the real truth is that politicians of both parties are exactly alike. This is the moment they have all been waiting for because they are all going to cash in. None of these asswipes care about the rank-and-file, that is, unless it is an election year. In some respects, Shrub is a hero. He has exposed politics for what it is — a sordid cesspool of corruption and hypocrisy.

An uneventful day. I will admit that I dread returning to the Asylum with each passing day. However, I have vowed to continue on until I am terminated. I have not sent out any applications, even with the foreknowledge that I could be totally unemployed in two months. I did a complete workout at the gym. My favorite Asian babe was not there. I surmise that she is now history. Gold prices have been dropping. It is my guess that there is no immediate need to stock up on gold. The outcome of the Iraqi oil grab will also solidify the dollar's position, at least until Japan or some other country is forced to sell off its holdings of US Treasury securities to keep its banks solvent. My only hope is that life can return to some kind of normalcy. Pseudo-professor Robert has been going through training to become an independent cell phone salesperson. Maybe I should do the same.

Friday March 21

The Asylum has declared a wage freeze for one year. That's why Kevin's pay raise was rushed through. He also discovered that his pay increase was made retroactive back to May, not September. I never went through my annual evaluation. I would have been denied a pay raise anyway. However, one of Kevin's agents reported that there is going to be a faculty and staff layoff by Summer. One of my agents heard the same thing, but — here's the best part — the ol' lavahead is first on the list. That's been the plan all along. Roach has been working overtime to destroy me. Meanwhile, the Asylum is falling apart. The enrollment is down ten percent, and more students are planning to leave. The financial aid fraud is apparently being investigated by the State, which may end in litigation.

Later, I was in the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill, talking with another pseudo-professor. It turns out that he had previously worked at Barnes & Noble in Kahala Mall. He said the wage was low, but it was a nice place to work. Also, there wasn't the little game of limiting hours worked to avoid providing health benefits. What was even more sickening was that smug smirk on Pseudo-professor Jim's face. I knew that he was overjoyed that the bombs were finally dropping on Iraq. In fact, I could not believe the number of people who were just having a good ol' time talking about how things were being blown to bits all over the place. As with Afghanistan, we will never truly know how many civilians were killed or maimed. Thanks, Shrub, for making my day!

I was happy to exit the salt mines. My Bose Acoustic Wave and my iBook will be here to keep me company through the evening. I may even take my beloved Orion telescope outside to view the stars. I have much to contemplate and a few things that need to be forgotten.

Saturday March 22

The skies were cloudy last night, so I spent all evening listening to the psychotic classical pieces on my Bose Acoustic Wave. I took the bus to Kahala Mall this morning. I spent about an hour at Barnes & Noble. Then, I walked to the dentist's office. After having my teeth cleaned, I learned that I have a small cavity and one of my old fillings needs to be replaced. So, I made another appointment. I have to take advantage of my health plan while I still have it. So, I will also be making an appointment to get my eyes examined. I will be "laid off" in two months, which will mean the end of my health plan. After I returned home, I changed into my gym attire and caught the bus to Koko Marina. I only managed to do my cardio workout. While walking home, I observed all of the cars whizzing by me. These are "yes" votes for the invasion. I did my yardboy chores before calling it a day.

I will be doing the same damned thing again tonight. My Bose Acoustic Wave is already unwrapped. The skies are cloudy. I am not too excited about this vacation because it seems like a preview of my upcoming unemployment. Four years ago, I went through a time of reckoning when I was unemployed. Will that happen again? I have to snap into action. I have to secure more teaching contracts or find a true wage slave job.

Sunday March 23

Moms defrosted all kinds of food last night. Thus, I knew in advance that the Ninja Turds would be coming by sometime today. I was extremely fatigued this morning because I stayed up late to listen to the psychotic classical pieces. So, I lapsed in and out of a coma for most of the day. When moms fired up the decrepit hibachi, I left for the gym. I did my usual workout. Then, I stopped off at Starbuck's to treat myself to a Frappaccino. With that, I used up the budget (i.e., $3) for my vacation. Sheesh! I am going to spend the evening with my Bose Acoustic Wave and my iBook. The skies are completely clouded over again.

I am still wearing my decrepit shoes and my worn out Dockers to work. About a month ago, I predicted that I would never have to break out my new Rockports or purchase a new pair of Dockers. I neglected to include this prediction in the journal. Once again, my prediction has come true. All of my negative predictions come true. I really don't care to hear that crap about self-fulfilling prophesy. I have already disproved that claim many times over. The sinister kahuna wants to break the ol' lavahead.

Monday March 24

I seldom check the LoserNet site statistics because I know that only a couple of people read this crap. Out of boredom, I checked the site statistics last night. No one has read the journal for nearly three weeks. Sheesh! This is good news because I am ready to pull the plug on LoserNet. I haven't decided whether I will leave some kind of archive or whether I will Noriega it. That's a new term in honor of General Noriega. It is synonymous with "mummify." Let's face it. Life is not getting any more exciting around here. As a matter of fact, it has degenerated into deep stagnation. Aside from delineating upon my strange ruminations, there really isn't much to discuss. To spare the agony of unabridged redundancy, I will now summarize my daily events using quick phrases. Yesterday, I could have written, "Wake up. Lapse in and out of a coma. Walk to gym. Mediocre workout. Starbuck's Frappaccino. Walk home. Bose Acoustic Wave. Psychotic classical pieces. iBook. Cloudy skies."

I left for town on the street bus this morning. I spent most of the time at the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill. Since I forgot to bring my bagels for lunch, I had to walk to Long's Drugs and purchase a muffin. I was not happy since I have now gone over budget for this vacation. I didn't get much done. I just wasn't in the mood. When I first arrived at the gym, I did not see my favorite Asian babe. Later, as I was sitting on one of the pectoral machines, I noticed a babe walk between the machine that I was on and the adjacent one. I only saw her from behind. She was wearing a skimpy top and tight sweats. It wasn't until later that I confirmed who she was. Yep, my favorite Asian babe is back. Damn, I could not believe what a tight little body she has. I was ready to lose it. When I returned home, I attempted to paint the front door. However, since it was hot, the paint dried as I was brushing it on, so there are coagulated blobs of paint over the whole surface. I also gave my beloved six-four a sponge bath.

I have nothing good to say about the invasion of Iraq, so I'll leave it that. An article by Eugene Marner titled, "A Roller Coaster Ride to Hell," appeared on the Online Journal site. Apparently, on March 6th, the Saudi Arabia announced that it cannot increase oil production, signifying the possibility that the Saudi oil reserves have peaked. This concurs with much of what Mike Ruppert has been reporting for the past year. I am getting a clearer picture of a world totally out of control. The stoneheads on Easter Island should have been warning enough. The Moai deforested the whole island, which eventually led to their demise. What were the natives thinking when they cut down the last tree? What are we thinking as we pump the last drop of crude oil from the ground?

I believe that we are moving closer to Armageddon. The fabric of society is coming apart at the seams. That's probably why I have been obsessively thinking about babes lately. By the way, I have seen Mary Ann a couple of times. I have nothing to say to her since she refused to draft a statement for the Roach Inquisition. Even Kevin was perturbed by her ambivalence. I am not sure why I waste my time thinking about babes. Nothing will change. I will always be a monk. It sure would be nice to find a decent babe to settle down with. However, when one is a loser, that is too much to ask for.

Tuesday March 25

I heard from Caroll via e-mail a few days ago. She has been laid off from her job, and she is now staying at the Motel 6 on a day-to-day basis. Shirley has not called since our last phone conversation. I was in a furor over the Iraq invasion. She was bored by that subject and ended our conversation rather abruptly. To summarize last night — Bose Acoustic Wave. Psychotic classical pieces. iBook. Cloudy skies.

I left for town on the street bus before 9am. I spent an hour listing more crap on eBay. Then, I discovered that my PayPal account is locked because someone had deposited and withdrawn large sums of money several times. I have no idea what is going on. The Bull sent e-mail. He seems to have gone through hell and back since I last communicated with him. I can certainly empathize. My favorite Asian babe was at the gym. That's probably the only reason why I go to the gym religiously. As for tonight — well, let's just say it will be a repeat of last night.

Ode to General Noriega

He was a dictator brought to power by the US, and he was ruthless. Somehow he lost the respect of his handlers. So, the latter called for a "regime change." In the end, he sought refuge in a church. As he recited evidence of the complicity of his handlers using a cheap megaphone, his voice was drowned out by cheesy music blaring from the armed battalion dispatched to take him down. What is most disturbing is that he never looked the same again, always seemingly overdosed on Thorazine. I don't watch the tube. Nor do I read any of the mainstream press, that is, with the exception of the crappy local daily newspaper. I don't listen to NPR News anymore since the reporting has been compromised. In the case of the Iraq invasion, I use one simple litmus test — if any report mentions "coalition forces," then I immediately downgrade the report to propaganda. So far, I have come to rely upon a few good independent news sources. However, at this time, I have full confidence in what appears on Mike Ruppert's From the Wilderness (www.copvcia.com) site and the World Socialist Web Site (www.wsws.org). What might be of particular interest is the recent two-part series by Mike Ruppert titled, "The Perfect Storm." He summarizes by stating, "The truth is that the American people have never been any more of a concern to the powers that be than the people in the rest of the world have, except that giving them a higher standard of living made them compliant and dumb. It appears as if even that is no longer necessary."

After reading "The Perfect Storm," everything makes sense. I am further inclined to believe that the tragedy of September 11, 2001 was staged to provide a pretext for the scenario unfolding as we speak. General Noriega is a symbol of what went wrong, what continues to go wrong, and what will continue to go wrong until the Big Hand pulls the plunger. So, where are the "weapons of mass destruction"? Why are Iraqi people so ungrateful to be "liberated"? What's next? Apparently, ShrubCo plans to invade Iran. Naturally, that assumes a two-term administration. Another staged or permitted act of terrorism will invoke a military state. There won't be any elections. So, let's enjoy our freedom while we can, shall we? Let's not walk anymore. Let's try to drive everywhere (e.g., from the garage to the mailbox to check the mail). Soon enough, we won't be able to drive because there won't be any petrol. Let's try to leave all of the lights on to enjoy it while we can. When we are forced to use candles again, we will be straining our eyes just to see across the room. Sheesh!

That's why I'm ready to throw in the towel. I don't want to think about it anymore. So, I think about my favorite Asian babe. These are pleasant thoughts to me. Of course, sometimes I cross the line and try to imagine what it would be like to do da wild thing with either of them. Lord have mercy! The monk life should be so much easier in an imperfect, alienated world. However, that alienated world seems to exacerbate the craving for any kind of bonding that will produce a sense of being loved. I have often pondered that the highest form of love to be desired can only come from the Creator. Yet, in my moments of weakness, I feel as though the Creator has left us behind. These are the days of the Prophesy. The greatest of calamities is yet to occur. I really don't want to face those times alone.

To be continued ... Go to D.05

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