LoserNet Home | Index | Previous | Next Old Man Stories and Other Strange Tales

Glass Menagerie
Poetic Injustice

Sunday May 12, 2002

I have wasted too much time on Roach's stupidity. Since I am employed "at will," I have no rights. I will try to remain at that dump for as long as I can, then I will move on. As long as I can meet the goal of my five-year plan, I will be fine. I'm not sure what I will do after that. I will also try to get as much as I can out of my health benefits while I still have them. I may have go without a health plan for several years once I lose those benefits, although I could subscribe to the Diploma Mill's health plan at a cost of about $300 per month.

Everything is vanity. I don't expect to incur any debt once my loans are paid off. Since I will remain a monk forever, I do not have to worry about supporting a family. My needs are few and my life-style far too simple. Maintaining an adequate standard of living should not be difficult. So, I should make it a point to sell my six-four soon. It costs far too much to maintain as opposed to its usefulness. I have not driven it anywhere in a month. If I sell it now, I may get a reasonable salvage value. Later, it will be worth nothing. I have not listed anything on eBay yet. That's now a priority. However, I will be submitting my amended tax returns this week. I received the copies of my old tax returns yesterday.

I lapsed in and out of a coma for most of the weekend. I have had a headache everyday thanks to that dickhead Roach. I walked to the gym again this afternoon. Then, I did my yardboy chores. I've also been listening to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio courtesy my beloved Bose Acoustic Wave. I'm looking forward to listening to Gardner McKay's Stories on the Wind later in the evening. Did you remember moms today? I hope so.

Monday May 13

Last night, moms talked with me about the disposition of the house in case she becomes incapacitated in any way. Apparently, Mr. Turd had come by to pick up the bikes the other week instead of his wife. Moms had asked him whether he wanted the property and he said yes. As I expected, the Turds want moms' house. They are using the little crapper as a point of sympathy and, to further increase their leverage, they continue to threaten to move to the mainland. Naturally, they have not saved a dime. Although the decision rests with moms, I told her to keep everything the way it is, such that the property will be split between me and Mr. Turd. Moms wanted to give the house completely to the Turds. And, when moms become less ambulatory, she believes that she will be able to stay with them and they will take care of her. Moms also said that she will pay them rent. Say what? I had quite a few things to say about that. Moms knows better and she is now coming to the conclusion that Mrs. Turd is orchestrating this nonsense. Isn't that what I've been saying all along? Moms is worried that they won't be able to come up with the dough to buy me out. That's okay. Then, we will sell the property and split the proceeds. If moms gives the property outright to the Turds, I'm sure that Mr. Turd will end up divorced and out on the streets. The dolt file clerk will end up with the house. No matter what, I vowed that moms can always stay with me or, if moms needs convalescent care, I will do my best to pay for it. Somehow, I believe that moms will make the wrong decision and everyone will end up losers.

Because of traffic, I was six minutes late to class. Bug was already there taking roll with a printed roll sheet. I asked a trusted student about whether Bug had come by prior to printing out the roll sheet. Apparently, Bug was there exactly at 8am, which further proves that every move I make is being observed. Since I was proctoring exams, I was only able to observe Roach walk by once. I have yet to sit down and discuss any of this with an attorney.

I have mailed my amended State tax returns. It looks as though I am entitled to a $530 refund. So, I am actually getting a few things done. I went to the gym and took the first express bus out of the salt mines. I'll be listening to the psychotic classical pieces on my Bose Acoustic Wave and I'll relax with my beloved iBook this evening.

Tuesday May 14

At 8:01am, I saw Bug look into my classroom. She seemed startled when she saw me there, and walked away. After my classes, I went to see Bug as was agreed upon last week. Naturally, it was to be another "follow-up" meeting with both Bug and Roach. Roach initiated the conversation by asking how I was was. I said that I was fine. Then, he told me, "We want you to know that we are here to help you." Then, he asked, how I was again. This circumlocution went on for a while. My impression was that he was implying that I was suffering from some kind of psychological disorder. Then, he asked, "How are things going in your classes?" I replied, "Fine, as you well know." He rebutted, "No, I don't know, that's why I'm asking."

Roach then asked me about whether any students were bringing up certain issues in class. I said that this was the week for exams and final presentations. "There has been no time for any talking," I added. Roach continued to ask me this as if he had information to the contrary. I told him that I have complied with his request and, in the future, I plan to remain detached from the politics of the institution. "All I'm sensing is a lot of indifference from you," he summarized. He asked me whether I found the work at the Asylum to be rewarding and whether I was happy there. "Whether I am here for a month or ten years, I am firmly committed to this," I said, pointing to a stack of exams I had in my hand. "I do the best that I can and I meet my objectives." Roach then went off on a discourse about how important faculty input was. "It's perfectly all right to disagree with me," he added. The discourse continued, wherein Roach continued to play on my "indifference." I sensed that he was prompting me because he wanted me to spill my guts and make some kind of confession. Yet, I have nothing to confess.

That's when the true purpose of the meeting came up. "I noticed that there was a student — Shirley — sitting in your class, who is not registered for that class, when I walked by." I told Roach that I only have one student in that particular class, so I let other students use the lab. Roach then clarified that it was a different class. In fact, Shirley is registered for that particular class. Sometimes, Shirley does stop by in one of my other sections, like this morning, when she got out of another class early. However, she does not stay long. "Do you see the kind of perception that other students and faculty may get?" he asked. "What perception?" I asked. "Any perception," the moron replied. I then asked, "What about Ron? He stops by my class as well." Roach muttered, "This will apply to him, too." Clearly an afterthought. I am not surprised that Roach did not mention Ron, although Ron always comes by on Monday and Wednesday. I suspect that Roach is trying to set me up for a violation of the "fraternization" policy as he attempted with Malia. I have talked with Shirley. She said that she has never personally met Roach, nor has she ever had any kind of conversation with him. So, in walking past my class, Roach was able to identify Shirley, a student he doesn't really know, and look up her records to see if she was enrolled in the class. I expect that he will call Shirley in and try to intimidate her to confess something, just as he did with Malia. Nonetheless, it's fairly obvious that there are moles posing as students in my classes. Most of these moles can't get a single fact straight, but Roach seems to accept their testimony as carved in stone. What is even more peculiar is Roach's insistence that students not be "dragged into administrative matters," yet he is solely relying upon student testimony, even encouraging it.

He then continued, making implications that I was compromising the learning of the "30 or so registered students in my class. First, there are rarely more than 15 students in my classes. Second, I give my students time to work on lab assignments after I am done lecturing. I have the solutions manual available for their perusal, and I am facing the class for the most part to observe if any student has a question. How about Kevin, who spends an inordinate amount of time downloading illegal copies of software from Hotline and Carracho and burns them on CDs during his classes? And, a few female students like Jennifer sit and chat with him during his Excel class. I know that Jennifer is not in that class, as she took Excel with me. I am even more astonished that I have heard many students complain about both Kevin's and Mike's classes, yet there has been no action taken by Roach. It seems that the only discontented "students" (read: moles) are in my classes. Or, I suppose that Roach has no reason to walk by and look in anyone else's classes except mine.

Prior to adjourning this second "follow-up" meeting, Roach decided that we should now have "regular meetings," or should I say, tribunals. He then asked Bug if she had anything to add. Bug had a stupid smirk on her face, which seemed as though she was thoroughly enjoying the torture that I was being put through. She had nothing to add. "You're always welcome to stop by and discuss anything, even personal matters, not pertaining to the classroom," Roach said. "We can even take a walk  through town and discuss these things, if you like. Nothing said within these walls will ever be used against you or used in your evaluation." Finally, he continued to express just how much he wanted to "help" me. I don't need his help. I need a good attorney.

I ran into pseudo-professor Amber. We are supposed to meet later this evening so I can finally start the legal process. I also saw Professor Lisa. She is teaching a class for the Summer as a break from her doctoral studies. I am going to read passages from Frankl's book again to revitalize myself and gain strength to persevere through this ordeal.

Wednesday May 15

Like clockwork, Bug looked into my class this morning at 8:01am. I made sure that I was standing off to the side, out of view, so Bug would have to make a concerted effort to find me. Once we made eye contact, Bug seemed startled and quickly walked on. In talking with Susan, I have learned that there is a large network of "spies," some clandestine, some not. According to Susan, there are students and student government officers encouraging other students to go in and spill their guts to Roach. I'm not sure what form of compensation is given, but Susan seems to believe that some courtesies are afforded the "spies."

Shirley stopped by my class for a few minutes. I've already briefed her about the situation. It fairly clear that Roach is impotent. He must assert his masculinity through a captive audience. Yet, his manhood is still held in question by the existence of that homely, toothpick wife of his. Since he apparently recognized Shirley (even though he has never even spoken with her), he must be attracted to her. Shirley said that he looks like a "pretty boy." And, an impotent pretty boy, at that.

I chatted with Professor Lisa for about an hour. I also signed her up for the "Meaning of Life" discussion group. She is here for only eight weeks. Then, she will be returning to Atlanta. I was too tired, so I didn't go to the gym. Instead, I took the first express bus out of the salt mines. Roach is beginning to wear me out, and that's what he's trying to accomplish. I have to hang in there until he makes a fatal error. Then, booyah! Haha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa!

Thursday May 16

The express bus that I normally take did not show up, so I had to wait for the next one. I thought for sure I would be late, which would have pleased Bug and Roach to no end. However, I arrived right on time. Frankly, I am getting sick and tired of these morons. I have spent far too much time on a separate journal, just in case litigation becomes a reality. I still have no attorney. I cannot depend on Pseudo-professor Amber. I'm on my own. I have discovered that Mike will be handling the new student orientation next week at the Asylum. I won't have to show up at all. I have also sent a copy of my documented log of Asylum nonsense to Laura to further persuade her to take action.

I restored my monk haircut. Then, I went to the gym. I have leaving on the first express bus out of the salt mines. At home, I have been listening to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio courtesy my beloved Bose Acoustic Wave. I am still pretty fatigued because of Roach. He will get his just reward, of that I'm certain. That little piece of [dung]. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaaa!

Friday May 17

Shirley called and left a message to call her. So, I ended up talking with her for two hours. At first, I thought that Roach had called her in for questioning. That was not to be. There was minimum surveillance at the Asylum today. Kevin disclosed to me that Bug has been getting on his case about a few things. I suspect that he has a few moles planted in his classes. Shirley met me at the Diploma Mill after class. We worked on her PowerPoint presentation for her marketing class. Then, we walked to Jamba Juice to enjoy refreshing fruit smoothies. I left on the first express bus out of the salt mines, so I did not have time to go to the gym. The weekend is upon us. Bose Acoustic Wave. Lapsing in and out of a coma. My beloved iBook. Need I say more?

Saturday May 18

I did my houseboy and yardboy chores today. I also walked to the gym. The air-conditioning was not working. The air was hot and stale. However, I did my complete mediocre workout. The "Meaning of Life" Wine & Cheese Party was supposed to be today, but there has been little coordination. I was not in the mood for any kind of socialization anyway. I'm trying to relax before I must return to that hellhole, the Asylum. The recent news about the "foreknowledge" concerning the terrorist attacks and related information concerning the new Oil Wars has been no surprise to me. Months ago, I tracked these events and the associated speculation in the alternative news sources. I have no reason to doubt the worst case scenarios presented back then. What we are seeing now is only the tip of the iceberg with respect to the corruption perpetrated by the world's sleazebags. It's sickening.

Yesterday, Shirley asked me why I was "so monotone" in my conversations with her. I'm actually not "monotone." I surmise that she has taken a dislike to the Data-like personality. I did not realize that the latter has become second nature to me, just like it was for The Master. When in the company of babes, I automatically invoke the Data-like personality. After all, my buddy Bud warned me a long time ago that babes are "dangerous." Even though Shirley is young, she is still dangerous. Very dangerous. I am certain that Roach would like to test his mettle with "Dangerous" Shirley. She would chew him up and spit him out like a cheap piece of gum. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!

Sunday May 19

I spent most of last night checking various DVD on-line stores. Was I searching for Tera Patrick DVDs? Actually, no. I wanted to see if Shock to the System was available. I was very disappointed to find that the Michael Caine masterpiece has never been released on DVD. I did manage to discover that Falling Down is available at CompUSA, so I will probably go there tomorrow to purchase it. I am going against my own principles now. I will be purchasing a few of these collectibles. Naturally, they all have to do with losers. Of course, Wild Things is what started this nonsense. I watched it again last night as well.

I lapsed in and out of coma for most of the day. Then, I walked to the gym to do a short cardio workout. The air-conditioning was operational today. I also updated my documentation about the Asylum. I am now contemplating whether I could pass an idea to Pseudo-professor Chad, who is also an editor for the progressive Honolulu Weekly — perhaps an exposé could be written about shams like the Asylum. The last thing I really want to worry about is the Asylum or that dickhead Roach.

I have been "in a funk" (as Steph would say) for several weeks. It seems to be getting worse. I have been concerned about moms. And, I have been also looking ahead when moms is gone. This has bothered me immensely because my sole purpose now is to spend time with moms. All of these concerns has translated into "meaning of life" issues. That's why I am ready to erupt in senseless violence when puny wimps like Roach want to flex their twig-like arms. For the first time in my life, I fear being alone. Once moms is gone, that's the end of my lineage. Discussing this now is making me extremely sad. I will continue later.

Monday May 20

Roach tried to be friendly this morning, but I merely responded in monosyllabic fashion. Kevin's classes was having a potluck feast, so he invited my class to join in. I have decided that my classes will no longer have such events. Shirley stopped by to chow down as well. After my time at the hellhole was up, I left immediately. Later, I took a bus to CompUSA. I only spent about 40 minutes there. However, I was able to peruse the new Apple computers. I am certain that my next notebook computer will be the Titanium PowerBook. The DVD rack was pathetic. There might have been fifty titles in all. I located Falling Down and purchased it for my new psycho collection.

I will list a few of my hurdy-gurdy DVD library on eBay this Summer. I have been hesitant about registering on eBay because I do not want to disclose my credit card and checking account information. Yet, what other choice do I have? I plan to relax this evening. I'll be watching my new addition to my psycho DVD collection. Sheesh!

Tuesday May 21

I spoke with April, a student in my morning class. Laura had done the initial groundwork for me, thus April knew a little about what I wanted to discuss. April, by the way, is dropping out of the business college because of her frustration with the Asylum, particularly her classes with Mike. I am continuing to collect testimony from as many people as possible.

Bug left one of her "micromanaging" notes in my mailbox. I suspected that there would be another "follow-up" meeting. I decided to see what this was about immediately. Both Roach and Bug were present for the meeting. However, the topic of discussion was Toad. According to Roach, Toad has petitioned to return to the Asylum. It also wants to change majors, which "would require it to take three more computer classes." In a patronizing tone, Roach merely informed me of Toad's highly probable matriculation. I was not asked for my opinion concerning the matter.

Roach said that his memory of the whole incident two years ago concerning Toad was "vague." He requested information from me concerning the Court Order, primarily about any kind of proximity clause. The Order does state that the injunction is in effect for three years commencing on May 25, 2000. Specifically, Toad is "restrained and enjoined from entering and/or visiting the premises, including the yard and garage of the Petitioner(s)' residence and/or place of the Petitioner(s)' employment." I am not convinced that Toad has been completely rehabilitated. I cannot see why Toad is compelled to return a place that provides little in the way of fond memories. Once can't really help but think that this is all a set-up.

Roach seems intent on matriculating Toad, so there was little reason for me to argue to the contrary. Given the wording of the Court Order, I see no reason why Roach would risk a repeat of the sordid affair. "If Toad returns, we will try to make sure that it is not enrolled in your classes," Roach said. "However, that may not be entirely possible." Thus, if I am the only instructor for a particular course, then the dickhead will have no qualms about enrolling Toad in that class. I find this peculiar, in that it appears to be a complete disregard of the safety of the student body and faculty. Do I believe that Toad is still capable of exacting some kind of revenge? There's no doubt in my mind.

"If there is a situation with Toad again ... if it passes the same kind of letters again ... I ask that you first contact either Bug or myself. Is that okay with you?" Roach pleaded. I tentatively agreed, although I could sense that Roach was trying to get me to waive my right to call the cops. However, that's a ludicrous and presumptuous suggestion on Roach's part. Toad ended up arrested and incarcerated when I last depended on the asswipe. He was too busy with his "friend" Maria. Toad should, however, be aware of the ramifications of its actions.

The two-year anniversary of the injunction will occur on Saturday. As far as I know there is one year left. I am not sure why Toad is risking another violation by returning to the scene of the crime. What is even more nefarious, albeit mere conjecture, is Roach's apparent lack of prudence by even contemplating Toad's enrollment in my classes. As far as I can see, this situation has turned into a giant chess game for Roach. He has set me up for termination with one remaining written reprimand. He has well placed spies in my classes. He is working on developing a "fraternization" violation involving Shirley and myself. Now, he has the catalyst to make it all happen. By placing Toad in my class, Roach could force history to repeat itself. In his attempt to destroy me, Roach ignores the more serious implications. What if Toad loses it this time, and goes on a violent rampage? Recall that I had Toad arrested. I put its education on hold. And, I blemished its record. If Toad has not been properly rehabilitated, it could harbor extreme rage. If Toad lapses into psychosis again and imagines that I was its boyfriend and now I am cheating on it yet again, this time with Shirley, who knows what could happen? Is it reasonable and prudent to subject Toad to this kind of stress? None of that matters to a megalomaniac like Roach. All he is worried about is inflicting intentional emotional distress upon the one person who won't kiss his fat ass.

Wednesday May 22

Ron stopped by my class this morning at the Asylum. He mentioned that the situation in Mike's classes is totally out of hand. He and a few other students are planning to meet with Roach to voice their complaints. "I don't know if it's going to do any good. A lot of other people have complained. We've given him lousy evaluations. Nothing happens," he told me.

I now leave the Asylum the minute that I'm done with classes, unless I am detained for one of those moronic meetings with Bug and Roach. I didn't go to the gym this afternoon because it was raining. Poor excuse, eh? I attempted to take the first express bus out of the salt mines, but it was over 30 minutes late. I should have gone to the gym. During dinner, I was wondering what Mike may have on Roach such that he is immune from the dickhead's wrath. Perhaps he inadvertently caught Roach in an indiscretion (e.g., cheating on his wife). I can think of nothing else that makes sense. Remember that Roach kept telling me, "Poor Mike. His feelings are hurt," during his yelling tirade. To use Roach's own line — there's something really fishy going on.

Thursday May 23

Shirley called last night. We talked for about an hour. I tried to persuade Shirley that Roach may have a thing for her, so she had better watch out. She calls Roach a "pretty boy." The term is winding down at the Asylum. I will have next week off. I spoke with both April and Ron today. April has already seen Roach and Ron was to do so sometime today. Most of their complaints have to do with Mike. I have asked that they send me e-mail detailing the conversations. I spent most of my afternoon updating my log, yet I still have no attorney. The amount of time that I have to spend on documenting this crap is amazing. I'm not sure if it really matters since everyone at the Asylum will perjure themselves for protection.

The real problem is that I know the truth. With each passing day, I'm uncovering more of the truth. Our whole society is now based on falsehoods. We see this on the national level. And, the common fool buys right into it. All we hear are lies. All we see is the cover-up. Those who try to find the truth are silenced and exiled. As Al Martin discovered, those who tell the truth must be punished. In a recent article, Al disclosed that the big money is moving offshore. The money is being converted to gold. And, its owners are expatriating themselves. For weeks now, I have had recurring thoughts of an economic collapse in which most of us wage slaves would lose everything and end up destitute. I tried to analyze what the rich [rectums] would do, and my answer was the same scenario that Al had painted. It doesn't take an economist to see this happening. Interest rates are too low. The dollar is artificially strong. Consumers are spending like crazy as a result. This produces an artificial boom; artificial because it is sustained only by credit and loans. When it all comes tumbling down, the rich [rectums] will return. Their power and wealth will be more consolidated and concentrated. Small-time losers like Roach buy into this, thinking that they are part of the elite. In the end, he will be scraping the [dung] off his ass and eating it like the rest of us. During that time of anarchy, though, I will kick his ass good and hard. He won't be a "pretty boy" when I'm done. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!

Friday May 24

Shirley called again last night. She was driving to Ramona's place. "Are you going to miss me?" she asked several times during the conversation. We only chatted briefly since Shirley had to stop off at Taco Bell for dinner. She knows that she must order bean burritos with green sauce. No red sauce. No onions. And, she must use at least four packets of the "Fire" sauce per burrito. Alas, I've trained her well. I warned Shirley that she must not deviate from this menu because it will give her powers to ward off the evil Roach. She laughed.

Tina, one of my students, talked with me today. She was a former student government officer. She detailed to me the series of events that occurred during the time after Maria (Roach's consort) left. Jodie, a thick babe, took over the director's position. She didn't last longer than three months. However, I did not know the story behind what happened. I knew that she wasn't very popular. Roach was certainly not attracted to her, and I'm sure the feeling was mutual. Jodie was set up for termination. According to Tina, Jodie was escorted out of the building on her last day. Jodie's short tenure was tainted by a suppressed scandal involving the theft of over $50,000 in funds. Another member of the student services staff was quietly dismissed shortly afterward. No explanation was given. A series of suspicious burglaries also occurred during this time period. The official version was it was an "inside job." No one was ever arrested. In retrospect, I wonder if the burglaries were staged. Tina said that Jodie had discovered the missing funds and had documented everything. The culprit, according to Jodie, was the staff member under her who was quietly dismissed. I'm not sure that I buy the story. I knew the staff member. She was the one who initially broke the story about Roach and Maria. I would not be surprised if Roach was involved in the embezzling. Roach has a Master's degree in accounting. He could have easily altered the books since it's all done manually. Moreover, maybe Jodie's predecessor Maria was an accomplice.

I am beginning to wonder if perhaps Roach had become paranoid that I may discover the truth about everything. Could that be why he is setting me up? Had he not reacted like the true moron that he is, then I may never have uncovered this dirt from the past. Corruption is always going to involve dinero or da wild thing. We have a formula including both ingredients. Roach has a similar rapport with Lisa (Jodie's successor). Lisa is young, attractive and single. All I know is that something is going down.

Saturday May 25

Roach has been in several closed door meetings in the last few days. Something big is going down. April had mentioned that she heard rumors that there is a new computer faculty member coming on board next term. I know nothing about this, but I can believe the story. My guess is that I will be terminated and escorted out of the building, just like Jodie, on the first day of the new term. Roach is probably building a case against me using people who are willing to perjure themselves. The Asylum hires many of its own graduates. Many of them were already part of the inner circle (i.e., friends of staff members). All of them are thankful to even find a job, and I'm sure they are willing to lie to keep those jobs. Tina made the same observation. She said that it would be impossible to get anyone to tell the truth because everyone is fearful of being terminated or they are willing to do anything to protect the clique.

I walked to the gym and did my usual workout. I had to get out of the house because I was losing my mind. Pseudo-professor Robert called later in the afternoon. He needed help with his computer. So far, he's had to use his recovery CD twice. That means he's reinstalled all of his applications twice. Why didn't he just get a Mac like I told him? He asked about the situation at the Asylum. I described the latest crap involving the re-matriculation of Toad. He said that I may have a case, but it won't amount to a hill of beans unless there is a possibility to recover substantial damages. He's right. This case won't be worth anything unless Toad goes on a shooting rampage. As it stands, very little can be recovered in punitive damages. So, Roach has won. He's no genius. In fact, he's dumber than a knob. It's just that employers and their asswipe managers are protected. That's why [rectums] like Roach are hired. There's only one way to deal with scum like Roach — plain, old-fashioned violence.

On Friday, I noticed that a particular gym babe was in close proximity to the oversized cranium for most of the time she was there. First, baby was on the machine next to me. Then, baby was standing in front of me, doing a dumbbell military press. When I was on the StairMaster, baby was on the treadmill in the row in front of me. As I was walking up the stairs to leave, baby was still on the treadmill. I saw baby checking things out using the mirror. Of course, I could be imagining things. Baby always goes to the gym at about the same time that I do. I have seen her there now for over a year. Baby is an Asian babe and she is a hottie!

Sunday May 26

I have discovered why I don't sleep well. It's got to be guilt. Guilt, because I know that I am employed by a sham operation — the Asylum, the dump that calls itself an educational institution. I now estimate that it brings in approximately $3.2 million per year in revenues. Students are spending close to $2,000 per term. There are about 400 students. Yep, that small little dump is a cash cow and it's making money off of the poorest people in Hawai'i, only because they qualify for student loans. I can't imagine how the Asylum's operating expenses (including lease and payroll) even amount to a third of the revenue. Since it is a non-profit corporation, it is exempt from the standard taxation rate. So, where's all the money? I believe that the "non-profit" profits are being siphoned into the family trust. The trust is big enough such that it has it's own offices. The Asylum's Board of Directors is controlled by family members. Now it's easy to see why there is so much emphasis on accreditation — the only factor preventing that dump from being investigated as a Ponzi scheme, which would put it under Federal RICO racketeering statutes. I've tried to fool myself into believing that I am making a difference. I'm not. What surprises me even more is how no one else (except possibly Roach) has been able to do the math. It's really amazing to see the kind of blind loyalty exhibited by the faculty, staff, and even the students. I suppose that I've known this all along. I just buried it in my subconscious, only to have it fester and ooze back out to the surface.

Ron sent e-mail detailing his meeting with Roach. He told Roach everything, but he doubts whether anything will happen. So do I. The Asylum is the new Roach Motel. I walked to the gym and did my usual mediocre workout. I am completely stressed out because of that hellhole, the Asylum. That asswipe Roach has me on the verge of violence. This is not good. I'm ruining my health because of that dickhead. I have been trying to plan out alternative strategies, which is causing me even more duress. I am certain that moms plans to give the house to the Ninja Turds when the little crapper reaches ten years of age. That's two years from now. Moms was very concerned because the little crapper does not have his own room. The Turds spend every dime they make, so they can't afford a larger apartment. Moms is even more worried because the dolt file clerk keeps threatening to move the Turd household to the mainland. So, I have to make sure that I can afford to live on my own. What's really stupid is that moms will become a slave again once the Turds move in. However, since moms will pass ownership of the house to the Turds, then she can do nothing about it. The Turds could throw moms out on the street, if they want to. I won't be here to stop that from happening.

This is life as I know it. Money and greed is at the center of everything including my dysfunctional family. Sometimes I feel as though I am getting the short end of the stick. I will live a life of mendicance, with absolutely no luxuries. I become really upset. Why? I don't need anything. I don't want to own anything. I hate maintaining any possessions. I'm not like Roach. I don't need Gucci shoes. Expensive shoes do not increase the integrity of an asswipe. Well, unfortunately, I must live from day-to-day. So much is changing because the landscape is festering with [copulating] [rectums]. Thank goodness for Heart of Space tonight.

Monday May 27

I have discovered that I am wasting too much time on this business with Roach and the Asylum. No attorney will take the case unless there's a lot of money involved. That's probably what happened to Jodie. There's no question that people like Roach know exactly what they are involved in. He has no integrity. This situation has made me review my objectives, including my five-year plan. Since I now calculate my taxes on my Palm spreadsheet (MiniCalc Lite), I have been able to scrutinize the figures. Even after I take all of my deductions, I still have 24 percent of my income going to the various taxes. As a single guy with no home mortgage payments, I have barely anything to deduct. My thesis is this — I could probably reduce my gross income by $10,000 and still be able to meet my objectives. I would lose my health plan as a result. Yet, I would increase my leisure time and also my peace of mind. That's worth the sacrifice. I will keep my gym membership because it is essential in maintaining my health. I have already done my first set of "old man" tests (read: barium enema), so I am good to go for at least five years. Now, I could subscribe to the Diploma Mill's group health plan. That would cost me $289 per month. However, I believe that I could get around that for five years by just finding a personal physician and paying out-of-pocket for my annual check-up. The same would apply for my dental check-up. As long as I eat healthy and stay fit by going to the gym regularly, then I should be able to go without a health plan for five years.

My six-four would have to be divested as well. As it stands, I am throwing away at least $500 per year on insurance and other costs when I rarely drive anywhere. Today, I discovered that the oil pressure gauge has stopped responding. The bus pass costs me $27 per month as it is. I might as well just ride the bus. The only real way to live a self-reliant life is to cultivate investment income. The wage slave's paycheck should be optimized for minimal tax deductions and at least cover all living expenses. Later, I will be researching my thesis. I believe that there is a broad range of incomes in the so-called "middle class" that yield marginal differences after taxes for someone like myself. If I generated more income from wage slavery, I would bring home only slightly more dough. The whole underlying theme is leisure time, or should I say, time not devoted to the salt mines. We only have so long to live. Why spend it all in slavery? Why have to deal with pricks like Roach while earning next to nothing?

Moms spent all morning cooking. She made a turkey in the kamado, as well as a whole mess of other food. Naturally, all of the food was for the Ninja Turds. The dolt file clerk left a message on the answering machine. The dolt's voice seemed way beyond cheerful. Wouldn't you be ecstatic if you knew that you were going to be given a home in Hawai'i Kai for free? Well, I walked to the gym again and did my mediocre workout. I'll spend the rest of the evening with my beloved iBook. Sheesh!

Tuesday May 28

I neglected to mention that I watched Falling Down again Saturday evening. I now consider this flick to be an autobiography. Sheesh! I also did some research on estate taxes. If I am correct, the Ninja Turds will have to cough up $93,000 in Federal taxes alone once they inherit moms' house. That's really too bad, eh? As I told moms, the Turds are going to lose the house. I now also believe that moms may have been bamboozled into paying a lot of dough for her living trust. There have been numerous scams aimed at senior citizens ever since the living trust mania commenced.

I called one of the attorneys whom Pseudo-professor Robert had recommended. It doesn't look good. There is no case, since I have no rights. I could pay $275 per hour for legal services, but I can't justify the cost because I earn only $5.25 per hour. I decided to go to Kahala Mall after that bit of discouraging news. Naturally, I went to Barnes & Noble. I am always tempted to buy something. I didn't give in and I felt good about that decision afterward. I walked to the gym, even though we've been going through an immense heatwave for the last few days. I did my usual mediocre workout. This whole life has become completely meaningless to me. I'm not even sure that another reading of Frankl's book would make a difference. I do not fit in this society. I have nothing in common with everyday people (read: chronic consumers). I have no desire to amass wealth, property, or useless possessions. Money, and hence greed, have become the focal point of society or, dare I say, the basis of all society. As I look around me, I am baffled when I see how happy people look even though they are completely submerged in debt and surrounded by useless trinkets. What makes these idiots tick? I suppose that I could take one look at a piece of vermin like Roach and see the answer. After all, Roach is the epitome of [dung]. By the way, please substitute the real words for the bracketed equivalent to grasp the true meaning of what I am saying.

I did happen to see a DVD at Barnes & Noble that I wanted. It's an old flick called Local Hero. I may actually go back and purchase it, unless I can find it for less somewhere else. I have to also locate another of my Caine favorites, Blame It On Rio. I only find a few mainstream DVDs to be worth collecting. Heck, I may watch Falling Down again tonight. Well, hey! It's the story of my life!

Wednesday May 29

Moms and I went to Kahala Mall this morning. Moms did some shopping, and then we ate lunch at Panda Express. I am glad that I got spend the time with moms. We rarely do anything like that anymore. Moms told me something that really bothered me. "I sure hope I don't live much longer," she said. What I gather is that moms feels that she is in the way and, the longer she lives, the longer the Ninja turds will be deprived of the house that rightfully belongs to them. Moms also wants me to look at her life insurance policy because she wants to draw some money out of it. The whole thing stinks, because I know what's going to happen once moms gives up her house to the Turds. Since I am excluded out of the deal, I will have absolutely no funds available to help moms, if that becomes necessary. The whole situation has brought me to the point of chronic depression. The Turds have won. Roach has won. I have lost. Everything is a game to these scumbags. Winner takes all. Life is not a game. There is a meaning to life, and it has nothing to do with the kind of crap that I have been privy to enjoy. The Ninja Turds will never get to experience the time that I now share with moms. Even the simple act of riding the bus with moms to Kahala Mall is priceless.

The whole situation with the Asylum is moot. The attorney sees no possibility for big money, just as predicted. Hence, there is no case. Justice only prevails in old re-runs of The Tick. Sheesh! The stock market is plummeting again, so I've lost more dough. Can it get any worse? Shirley and I chatted briefly this evening. She said that she met with Erin yesterday. Erin apparently remembers when Roach was "fraternizing" with Maria. Erin also commented on Roach's new interest, Lisa (Maria and Jodie's successor). What a scumbag! Then, that asswipe has the gall to accuse me of "fraternizing" with Shirley. As is always the case, the real perpetrator is the one pointing the finger at everyone else. We had to cut our conversation short because Shirley was off to do some "night fishing." Is that what they call it these days? Just kidding!

I'm going to listen to the psychotic classical pieces on public radio, courtesy my Bose Acoustic Wave. And, as always, I'll be spending time with my beloved iBook. I really am getting sick of this crap that I have to put up with. I am planning to make a major decision on this matter soon.

Thursday May 30

One can really get used to the leisure life. I don't miss the salt mines. As a matter of fact, I don't even care if I go back. However, I need to earn a living. Doesn't that phrase, "earn a living," just want to make you burst out laughing? Few people earn a living. Most of us are just trying to survive Caroll called at around noon. She is now in Venice (in Cali). I am not sure how she manages to keep going. Almost every turn has been a setback, and the move to Venice already sounds like a repeat of recent history. Both of us are fed up with the crap we are privy to experience. "Everything is about money," she said. "There's nothing spiritual in this kind of life." She's right.

I did nothing today. I walked to the gym to do my usual workout. The funny part is that I am not bored. I don't have the tube to rely on. I usually listen to my Bose Acoustic Wave in the evenings. I sit outside in my beloved resin chair and listen to the birds or the wind rustling through the bushes. I watch the clouds pass above me. I lapse in and out of a coma. Yet, I am not bored. This is the way I want to live, as long as I am out of harm's way.

Friday May 31

I have been contemplating my real options, not the "options" presented by Roach. I am certain that I will reduce my class load at the Asylum as early as the end of Summer as part of my "phase-out" plan. I will lose my health benefits immediately, of course. The earlier that I implement "phase-out," the less likely I will meet the goal of my five-year plan. This will be a major setback. However, I have made a few rough calculations, and I found my original premise to be correct — reducing my aggregate income will not adversely affect my net income. Even at the poverty level, I will have the advantage of my IRA and loan deductions. I am also banking on interest rates rising before the end of the year. The "phase-out" will then call for me to resign from the Asylum by the end of next year. At this point in time, the "phase-out" does not include the Diploma Mill. This plan sounds workable to me.

I thought that I would avoid driving to the bank, so I took the bus to the branch in Kaimuki. I should have known that a simple task was about to turn into a nightmare. The streets of Kaimuki are completely torn up because of a redevelopment project. I walked to the bank, taking the required detours. I used the ATM but, for some idiotic reason, I was piddling around with something when the money appeared. By the time I came to my senses, the little door closed. The machine too back the money. So, I had to withdraw the money inside. The machine had debited my account as well. The correction would be made on Monday. Then, I realized that the auto-payment for my gym membership is scheduled for tomorrow. My balance was insufficient to cover it.

I had to walk several blocks to find a bus stop. Most of the bus stops were not available because of the construction. I took the bus to Kahala Mall. I went to Tower Records to check out the DVD selection. Then, I went to Barnes & Noble. I bought Local Hero for the rip-off price of $15, which made me more perturbed. I ended up waiting over 45 minutes for the bus since it was late. There is nothing like standing at the bus stop and inhaling exhaust fumes from the traffic. I am not sure where all of those idiots were going. I finally returned home, only to have to start up my six-four in order to drive to the bank branch in Kuapa Kai. I should have just done that in the first place. Sheesh! Later, I walked to the gym. I decided to stop at Starbuck's after my mediocre workout. The Starbuck's babe was really nice and she made a great Mocha Frappacino for me. That made my day. None of the other crap mattered anymore. Later, I will watch my new DVD. First, I have to listen to the psychotic classical pieces on my beloved Bose Acoustic Wave. In retrospect, I feel a little foolish because I had to resort to consumerism to placate my troubled soul.

I have a few things to think about this weekend. I must really analyze my "phase-out" plan. I not concerned about that dickhead Roach. In fact, he is of little consequence in my decision. I am more concerned about moms. By reducing my class load the Asylum, I will be able to leave for town much later than usual at least twice a week. That way, I will be able to go to Kahala Mall with moms at least once a week. I will also be able to take moms anywhere, if necessary. I thought that I could defer all of this for another year, but I do not want to risk anything just to make a few extra dollars. I do not want to live with any regrets. As for the job situation, I am certain that I will be able to get by. As that asswipe Roach sensed, I will not grovel in his [dung] just to keep that lousy job. If he continues to act up, I'll shove that job and his desk up his ass.

To be continued ... Go to M.10

© Copyright 2002. All rights reserved.